In general, in my posts about same-sex marriage, I try to link to and criticize the very best arguments of the anti-SSM crowd. There are a bunch of reasons to do this: it’s more honest, it forces my arguments to be stronger, and it’s just better debating form.
But just for giggles, let’s look at some of the really, really dumb anti-SSM arguments. I won’t bother responding to any of these, because I assume that all my readers – even my anti-SSM readers – will recognize how dumb these arguments are.
- You have the guy down the street making $20 bills in his basement, and every one he makes cheapens mine.
- Christians who believe otherwise will have trouble with the I.R.S.
- The very words “mother” and “father” will disappear from the dictionary. Those words will fall out of use and the catch-all word “parent” will replace them.
I love the $20 bill analogy; apparently Bauer beleives that marriages are a medium of exchange for goods and services, and as such are subject to the laws of inflation.
Meanwhile, check out this fundraising appeal from the Christian Family Coalition, courtesy of Boo blog. Here’s two of their predictions of what will happen if they don’t “WIN THE BATTLE TO PROTECT MARRIAGE!”:
- Young boys and girls will be taught how to perform “safe sodomy” on each other in sex education classes.
- YOUR CHURCH will have to abandon Scripture and “marry” homosexuals or lose their tax exempt status or worse yet – BE SHUT DOWN if they refuse to marry two men or two women!
Gosh, remember elementary school, when we took classes like math, history, social studies, and safe sodomy?
(If you enjoy fiskings, by the way, check out Dispatches from the Culture Wars’ take on the CFC letter).
Gary Bauer and the CFC are major players (compared to someone like, say, me). To find some even stupider anti-SSM arguments, I have to turn to someone as unknown as I am, a Ms. Tamara Wilhite, in an editorial on BushCountry.org. Ms. Wilhite explains the connection between same-sex marriage and… wait for it, wait for it… terrorism.
Now, you would think that this would be a pro-SSM argument – “if gays aren’t allowed to marry, then the terrorists have won!” But no. She’s arguing that we should pass the Federal Marriage Amendment to forstall a terrorist attack. In her opinion, it would seem, the last thing we should do is irritate the terrorists.
Senators Defy Marriage Amendment: America’s Taliban Tyranny
Oh, heck, let me quote a paragraph anyway:
“Caliban,” by the way, is the author’s coined word for “California Taliban.”
Oy, oy, oy.