From DED Space, a very interesting post and personal musing on the psychological fears of homophobic men and their attitudes to not only to Gay men but women as well. It’s all about the fear of not being masculine and being associated with anything in the least bit feminine.
It has always seemed to me that there are a lot more homophobic men than women. Women who hate gays tend to be those who were told to do so by their churches, but with men, fear of male homosexuality cuts a much longer and wider path.
And this brings me to a subject I don’t think gets enough discussion: Men who freak out over men being together in a romantic/sexual relationship freak out because for them, it all comes down to their own fear of being someone’s butt-boy. Which would be really humiliating and would turn a man into something truly loathesome–a woman.
The fear of being made “a woman” by another man will send an otherwise shallow and apathetic man into a letter-writing, Focus on the Family-contributing, Republican-voting lunatic. Show me a man who hates gay males and I’ll show you a man who despises women.
I think it does have some very sobering and valid points. Granted from pure empirical evidence and not knowing every single homophobic guy in the world (I personally know far too many unfortunately), I’ve seen this hyper-phobia and misogynist attitude displayed by homophobic men. They despise Gay men out of the fear of themselves becoming “the woman” or “the feminine” in a sexual relationship or social setting, and they long for their women to be submissive so they can reaffirm their traditional masculinity and manhood. If they become “the woman” or “the feminine” in a relationship or social setting, they are no longer a man and they loose their “power.” Traditional masculinity is valued as powerful and dominant, while traditional femininity is associated with weakness and submission. Traditional femininity solely exists to reaffirm the traditional masculinity’s power and dominance. Homophobic men who treasure traditional masculinity (and even hyper-masculinity) view the relationship between Gay men to be unnatural because there is no woman or feminine being to reaffirm the masculinity and manhood–the so called “power” aspect is missing. Pretty damn insecure, but I’ve seen it before and we all see it in our culture. “Who gets to be the ‘man’ and who gets to be the ‘woman’ to make the guy feel better about his insecure self?” What a miserable relationship that must be.