11. If I have children and provide primary care for them, I’ll be praised for extraordinary parenting if I’m even marginally competent.
Harsh. Strident. Unprovable. I know single dads that no one has ever called ‘extraordinary’.
#11 is anecdotal (as is your rebuttal), but a lot of the anecdotes are from custody cases, where fathers have sometimes been given a lot of credit for fairly minimal parenting time, compared to what is the norm for most mothers. This is the sort of observation that isn’t provable; I think we’ll have to disagree on this one.
16. As a child, chances are I was encouraged to be more active and outgoing than my sisters.
Plenty of parents don’t encourage any of their children to be active at all.
It’s true, of course, that regardless of sex too many children have parents who provide poor or rare encouragement. But that in no way disproves my point. As I said in the list’s introduction, nothing about the list claims that men (or boys) never have bad experiences.
#16 – which I intended to refer not only to treatment by parents, but also treatment by teachers and by other children – is very well documented in the social science literature (I’ve included some references at the bottom of this post). For example, the various Baby X studies, which have found that adults perceive and treat the same baby very differently depending on if they’re told it’s a boy or a girl. (Some recent studies suggest that this effect has been declining over the years, which I’d say is to feminism’s credit).
It should be noted that the gender expectations put on too many children is not a benefit for all boys. In particular, boys who can’t live up to stereotypical gender role expectations often face emotional abuse from adults and peers, as well as physical abuse from peers.
(This isn’t even close to being an exhaustive list of relevant references for #16, but it’s enough to establish that I’m not just making this stuff up. )
Shoshanna BenTsvi-Mayer, Rachel Hertz-Lazarowitz, Marilyn P. Safir, Teachers’ selections of boys and girls as prominent pupils, Sex Roles, Volume 21, Issue 3 – 4, Aug 1989, Pages 231 – 246
Gail Masuchika Boldt, Sexist and Heterosexist Responses to Gender Bending in an Elementary Classroom, Curriculum Inquiry, Vol. 26, No. 2 (Summer, 1996) , pp. 113-131
John L. Delk, R. Burt Madden, Mary Livingston, Timothy T. Ryan, Adult perceptions of the infant as a function of gender labeling and observer gender, Sex Roles, Volume 15, Issue 9 – 10, Nov 1986, Pages 527 – 534
Claire Etaugh, Marsha B. Liss, Home, school, and playroom: Training grounds for adult gender roles, Sex Roles, Volume 26, Issue 3 – 4, Feb 1992, Pages 129 – 147
Lorraine Evans, Kimberly Davies, No Sissy Boys Here: A Content Analysis of the Representation of Masculinity in Elementary School Reading Textbooks, Sex Roles, Volume 42, Issue 3 – 4, Feb 2000, Pages 255 – 270
Carol Nagy Jacklin, Janet Ann DiPietro, Eleanor E. Maccoby, Sex-typing behavior and sex-typing pressure in child/parent interaction, Archives of Sexual Behavior, Volume 13, Issue 5, Oct 1984, Pages 413 – 425
Katherine Hildebrandt Karraker, Dena Ann Vogel, Margaret Ann Lake, Parents’ gender-stereotyped perceptions of Newborns: The Eye of the Beholder revisited, Sex Roles, Volume 33, Issue 9 – 10, Nov 1995, Pages 687 – 701
Mary Anna Lundeberg, You Guys Are Overreacting: Teaching Prospective Teachers about Subtle Gender Bias, Journal of Teacher Education, Vol. 48, 1997
Morrongiello B.A.; Dawber T., Mothers’ Responses to Sons and Daughters Engaging in Injury-Risk Behaviors on a Playground, Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, Volume 76, Number 2, June 2000, pp. 89 – 103
Dena Ann Vogel, Margaret A. Lake, Suzanne Evans, Katherine Hildebrandt Karraker, Children’s and adults’ sex-stereotyped perceptions of infants, Sex Roles, Volume 24, Issue 9 – 10, May 1991, Pages 605 – 616
(This is one of a number of posts responding to Chuck’s critique. You can use the category archive to see all posts related to the Male Privilege Checklist.)
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