[This post of Rachel’s was “lost” in the recent change of hosts, so I’m reposting it. –Amp]
Amp asked me if I would put up the Bunch-O-Links from Rachel’s Tavern over here, so I’m putting them up with a funny little story to tell you about. I’ll put up the story first, and the links second.
Men Don’t Cry??
So last year at about this time my stepson was at our house for a few weeks. At the time he was 5, and it was just before he started kindergarten. He doesn’t see us often, usually only a few weeks in the summer, so needless to say, he was a little nervous to be away from his Mommy. One day after he finished talking to his mother, I though he was unusually quiet so I walked into his room to find him teary eyed on the bed. I asked him what was wrong, and he started to sob uncontrollably. In between the heaves, I was able to get out of him that he was worried about his Mommy. My partner was really troubled by Branden’s crying, and after hugging him, the only thing he (my partner) could muster was “Branden, men don’t cry, and you and Daddy are men.”
Now, I’m pissed about this because this men don’t cry stuff is a crock of crap to me, so I look over Branden’s shoulder and give Daddy the WTF stare, followed by an audible “that’s not true.” As Branden gets calms down, I’m getting more fired up. I have a long discussion with my partner (away from Branden) about how a 5 year old is not a man, there’s nothing wrong with men crying, and what the hell is he trying to teach him. (Of course, I should note that my partner is very troubled by the fact that he doesn’t see his son often, and I think he sometimes says or does irrational things because of that, which would be great for another discussion.) After this point, on several occasions, I tell Branden and Daddy that men do cry, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
So about two weeks later Branden and I are walking down the hall, and Branden says, “Rachel, do you remember what Daddy said the other day?”
I said, “What did he say?”
Branden replies, “He said men don get angry?”
I start laughing hysterically. “Yeah, Branden. He said men don’t get angry.”
I didn’t take the time to tell him that men could get angry too, mainly because I thought Branden’s interpretation was hilarious, and I admittedly like statements that defy stereotypes. I also wondered how our world would be different if we said men don’t get angry, rather than men don’t cry.
Here’s the Bunch-O-Links
1. Changeseeker has a really good post discussing transracial identities.
2. Vegan Kid has a good post on Halle Berry’s reaction and the BBC’s inaction over racist comments a DJ made during an interview.
3. Gil at Lucky White Girl asks why we can’t know the corporate sponsors of politicians, NASCAR style.
4. A new book claims that mixed race people are superior? See more over at Mixed Media Watch.
6. Thespian CPA has a good post on the impacts of Black minstrel performers.
7. Women’s Rights Protesters Attacked in Iran. Here are several posts: Kash’s Newsroom, Iranian Truth (good list of the protesters goals/demands), Kosoof (has some good pictures, with writing mostly in Farsi but also a little English).