McCain: Screw Spain!

Okay, look, not everybody is going to know who the King of Spain1 is, but if you’re a U.S. Presidential candidate who prides himself on your nigh-infinite knowledge of the world and your ability to lead from day one, and you’re doing an interview with Spanish media, you might want to know that first, Juan Carlos I is the King of Spain, but only has ceremonial powers, and second, that the actual governmental leader in Spain is José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero, of the PSOE.

If you’re John McCain, you get an “incomplete” on the first, and an epic fail on the second:

So McCain is the candidate with the foreign policy experience ready to lead on day one. But he doesn’t know who the leader of Spain is. He gets confused in an interview, apparently thinking Zapatero is someone from Latin America who is an enemy of the United States and manages to create a minor international incident.

Spain, of course, is:

  1. Not in Latin America
  2. A NATO Ally
  3. Not in Latin America
  4. A NATO Ally

I mean, for God’s sake, I understand that Joe Bagadonutz might not be able to name the Prime Minister of Spain. If pressed before tonight, I wouldn’t have been able to name the Prime Minister of Spain, and I live for random trivial knowledge like that.2

But I’m not running for President on a platform of being able to bring Mavericky Change with Experience. I’m not making my superior awareness of foreign policy the centerpiece of my attacks on my opponent. If I were, I’d make sure that I actually knew my stuff.

But knowing your stuff is evidently too much to ask of a maverick like John McCain. And so McCain tonight has managed to insult a critical ally. Badly. He had no clue what he was talking about. That’s not change we can believe in, my friends. Indeed, it’s all too much of the same.

  1. I guess I’m always hoping that you’ll end this reign, but it’s my destiny to be the King of Spain. []
  2. To my legion of Spanish readers, please understand that I hold you in the highest regard, and that I could at least have stated correctly that the leftists were in charge. Heck, I even know an officer in the Spanish Army. For real! What up, Ignacio? []
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11 Responses to McCain: Screw Spain!

  1. 1
    ADS says:

    Once I was the King of Spain. Now I eat humble pie.

    (Points for the reference.)

  2. 2
    Myca says:

    I guess I’m always hoping that you’ll end this reign, but it’s my destiny to be the King of Spain.

    Spit-take.

  3. 3
    jfpbookworm says:

    Once I was the King of Spain. Now I eat humble pie.

    McCain can’t tell Latin America from Canada!

  4. 4
    Lu says:

    That’s easy: in Latin America they speak Latin, in Canada they speak freedom.

  5. 5
    roger says:

    ” Once I was the King of Spain. Now I eat humble pie. ”

    google tells me moxy fruvous. i have no idea who that is…….

    ” i could give you my word as a spaniard. no good. ive known too many spaniards……..”

  6. 6
    upchuckie_cheezits says:

    Hoist by a Spaniard in the works!

  7. 7
    Penny says:

    …and give every new baby chocolate eclairs?

    Fan video for Moxy Fruvous, “King of Spain”:

  8. 9
    Radfem says:

    I’d rather go visit Spain and look up some old friends. :)

  9. 10
    Alex says:

    I think misidentifying King Juan Carlos would be more embarrassing; he may only have ceremonial powers now, but he’s been in office a lot longer and had a much greater influence on Spain’s political history than Zapatero: he was primarily responsible for the restoration of parliamentary democracy after Franco’s death, when he could have retained the nigh-absolute power the former fascist dictator had left in his hands. Also his name, unlike Zapatero’s, is not easily confused with that of a Mexican revolutionary movement.

  10. 11
    reallityczech says:

    The Spainish: menace or threat?

    Presidential candidate John McCain earlier this week identified a breach in America’s polyester security blanket: the unwanted advances of Spain. The U.S. Senator rebuffed efforts by Spainish Vice Minister José Luis Rodríguez Emilio Marcus Zapatero to initiate talks should McCain and Governor Palin prevail in the election.
    Spain is a lumpy-looking country once part of the European landmass above Africa. Some 6000 years ago when dinosaurs roamed the earth, Spain became entangled in the tectonic dinner plate movement and now sits uneasily just below Texas but solemnenly above Costa Rica.
    McCain was asked if he would receive Zapatero – named after a popular style of Spainish shoes, – in the White House should he be elected. His replied, “I took fewer earmarks than my predecessor and never supported any bridge to anywhere. I’ll have to analyze our relationships, situations and priorities before I would establish closer relationships with our friends or enemies sans birth control and I will confront those who want to enter the United States illegally and hit them with my cane. Your mojo is bad, too.”
    The Spainish media believes that the Republican candidate, who claims extensive international diplomatic experience confused Spain, a member of NATO and proven ally in the fight against terrorism with Venezuentina or Perolivia in Latin America. The radio interviewer, baffled by the Senator’s answer reminded McCain that Spain once had rain on the plains when it was located in Europe.
    Spain has a long, bloody history of oppression. As recently as 516 years ago Spain harbored Islamic extremist architects who built the Alhambra . In1492, Spainish explorer Christopher Columbus discovered Bermuda. Or Cuba. Or was it Aruba? Ask Governor Palin. Spainish galleons transported precious cargo from Newish World back to Spain. The Spainish inquisition nearly gained a foothold in New Orleans around 1774, which would have been, like, pretty lame.
    Spainish people can have darker skin, bushy eyebrows and melodious voices, all signs of terrorist inbreeding according to sources in the U.S. State Department. They often loiter in dark caves, gorging on solidified rotten milk, fermented grape juice and dried swine leg.
    As the Spainish newspaper El País remarked, “Even if Spain is guilty of harboring WMD’s McCain’s answer demonstrates a shocking loss of bone density.” On Thursday, the mood at another Spainish newspaper named UnoDosTres was sulky when it lamented that “the frigid Alaskan air mass between the U.S. and Spain could continue if the John McCain reaches the Casa de Blanco.”
    Vice Minister Zapatero is taking the latest American attack on his ego calmly. McCain may not know who Spain’s leader is, Zapatero mused, but he promised that the Spainish people would be cool with the new Administration “as long as it’s not the wobbly old bozo and his big-hair senora.”