Another right-wing remix: "The 24 Types of Progressive"

“I’m waiting for the 24 types of ‘progressive’.” –“George,” in comments here.

Robert Hayes, who has commented on “Alas” on one or two occasions, jumps into what I dearly hope will become a trend by putting up his rewritten version of my cartoon “The 24 Types of Libertarian.”

Rob’s version is called “The 24 Types of Progressive.” I helped Rob with the lettering, partly because he’s an old college chum, and partly because left to his own devices he’d screw up the lettering just like Bush screwed up the country. Obviously, Rob knows that if you want something done competently, you better ask a liberal to do it for you. :-P

This entry posted in Cartooning & comics, Conservative zaniness, right-wingers, etc., crossposted on TADA. Bookmark the permalink. 

21 Responses to Another right-wing remix: "The 24 Types of Progressive"

  1. 1
    Robert says:

    I indeed sought you out for your competence, which is appreciated. Even though you can’t draw raindrops very well.

    Think it’s worth doing t-shirts? If it is we should probably do (heh, YOU should probably do…sucker!, I mean, partner) a higher-res image file.

  2. 2
    Ampersand says:

    I have no clue — it depends on how much conservatives like your cartoon, I guess.

    My feeling is that anyone is free to make any sort of project from “24 Types…’ that they want, but if they make a profit I’d like a cut. :-D

  3. 3
    Bear says:

    OK, now *that* was a good response to Amp’s cartoon. I laughed aloud a number of times. Well done Robert!

  4. 4
    Robert says:

    Conservatives? I think more liberals will buy it. I believe I said 50-50 in my initial email, so I’ll send you a check if/when.

  5. 5
    Jake Squid says:

    A much better remix. It is focused and a coherent whole. I thought panel 20 was the best.

  6. 6
    Silenced is Foo says:

    Was disappointed in “completely @#&*ing nuts”. Anti-UN paranoia is more of a right-wing thing.

    A better “completely $&*#$ing nuts” would’ve been pro-brainwashing (or am I supposed to read that as pro-brainwashing? it isn’t clear) or against some hysterical CIA-driven theory.

  7. 7
    Dianne says:

    I like this one! Some of them have bite to them. I’ve met “in it for the ladies” far too many times, for example. (Hint: Any “liberal” man who is anti-choice will be a conservative in 5 years.)

    More Robert/Barry collaborations!

  8. 8
    Simple Truth says:

    This is a much better remix. That being said, the original is still the best! Go Amp! Often imitated, never duplicated! :)

  9. 9
    Kevin Moore says:

    For completely effing nuts, there is always the 9/11 conspiracy freaks.

    Hey, is Barry “The Wonk”? :-)

  10. 10
    Myca says:

    Great work, Robert.

    My only complaint is that the panel labeled “reasonable lefty,” showing the tiny voice yelling all alone in an empty room?

    Yeah. That’s like 70%-80% of the progressives I encounter, and I encounter a lot of progressives.


  11. 11
    DSimon says:

    I liked it, even though I’m a total pinko leftie. I didn’t get “Purveyor of Disgusting Information”, though.

  12. 12
    Silenced is Foo says:


    I actually liked “Purveyor of Disgusting Information”. I read that as somebody who tells you about important causes by discussing in visceral detail what the problem is – whether it’s something inane like “What happens to your body when you drink coke” or gross like “how exactly Foie Gras is made” or outright horrifying like the details of 3rd-world torture and necklacing.

    Any of those articles about the meat-packing industry? That one.

  13. 13
    nobody.really says:

    Ever since the producers started demanding that YouTube take down all those parodies of The Downfall, people have been looking for a new outlet for their re-subtitling impulses. Who knew it would show up here?

  14. 14
    Robert says:

    SiF – the irony is that crazy UN lady is actually the one of these caricatures with physical existence, i.e., I’ve met her and she’s really nuts. UN, mind control, food supply, it all ties together…you’d see it if you weren’t under their control right now…

  15. 15
    J. Brad Hicks says:

    I’m going to go along with comments #6 and #9: anti-UN paranoia is a right-wing thing, the Progressives who are equally nuts are the 9/11 Truthers. (Michael Moore’s only completely indefensible movie, Fahrenheit 9/11, comes to mind.)

    Illustration-wise, I think I would have swapped Creepy and The Red Guard, given the guy now used for Creepy some line about how Stalin wasn’t so bad, those dead peasants were probably right-wing religious nuts anyway; the glum, furtive body language goes well with the last remaining old-school Marxists on the American left. (Who are, fwiw, so rare they probably ought to be on display at the Smithsonian; there aren’t enough of them left to sustain the species.) The left-wing gun nuts I know are all anti-capitalist survivalists, eagerly trying to bring down the state so it’ll be legal to kill and eat rich people.

    Actually, given how tiny a fragment of the Progressive coalition the Marxists are, unless you’re just THAT determined to perpetuate the Glen Beck/John Birch Society “anybody to the left of GWB is a commie, including Ronald Reagan!” belief, the angry, back-turned body language of panel #6 might go better with the Glen Greenwald and Lawrence O’Donnell fans (like me) glumly insisting “Obama’s first term turned out to just be Bush’s third term.”

    But you know, here’s the nature of coalition politics for you. Let’s grant as a rhetorical device, or for the sake of the argument, that what we have here are the three most significant political alliances in America, all fairly represented, and that you have to pick between one of the three if you want to have enough people working alongside you to achieve anything more than bitter complaining. Let us further grant (although I’m not even vaguely sure that it’s true) that there’s a grain of truth in all 72 attacks. Even if I granted all of that, I’d still rather ally myself with the 24 Progressive cartoons than with the 24 Authoritarian or Libertarian cartoons; they seem saner, smarter, and better intentioned to me, if only by comparison. Coalition politics, anywhere in the world, is more often about who you’re against than who you’re for; I’m unashamedly enthused to be against the Libertarian coalition and the Authoritarian coalition.

  16. 16
    Myca says:

    I’m unashamedly enthused to be against the Libertarian coalition and the Authoritarian coalition.

    In fairness to the libertarians out there, they think you’re part of the Authoritarian Coalition, AKA the ‘coalition’ that includes Barack Obama, George W. Bush, Winston Churchill, Adolf Hitler, FDR, Golda Meir, Mussolini, Gandhi, Karl Marx, Adam Smith, John Locke, Jean-Jeaques Rousseau, Thomas Hobbes, Thomas Friedman, and Paul Krugman … It’s an uneasy coalition.

    There actually hasn’t been a ’24 types of conservatives’ written yet, but I’m sure someone will pen one soon.

    It’s good to have you comment here. I’ve been enjoying your work on livejournal for a while.


  17. 17
    Dianne says:

    There actually hasn’t been a ‘24 types of conservatives’ written yet, but I’m sure someone will pen one soon.

    You, for example?

  18. 18
    mythago says:

    But I thought that liberals deliberately withheld computer skills they should give out for free in order to screw conservatives, just like they said on Red State! Amp, you’re letting the side down.

  19. 19
    B. Adu says:

    Obviously, Rob knows that if you want something done competently, you better ask a liberal to do it for you. :-P

    Which presumably accounts for the praise, it means that someone who could sustain an idea for 24’t have to do it properly and really give leftists something to think about.

  20. 20
    Brandon Berg says:

    Et tu, Bobus? Why do conservatives and libertarians keep referring to leftists by the self-congratulatory term “progressive?” I mean, I get a bit of a chuckle out of the fact that they chose to name themselves after a historical movement with a fairly awful record on race, but not enough to give them an implied pat on the back every time I talk about them.

  21. 21
    Robert says:

    1. The old left-right dichotomy is not really very descriptive nor is it a dyad that I particularly endorse as the best way of thinking about people’s political positions.

    2. It’s generally polite to call people what they want to be called within reason and I try to be polite.

    3. I wouldn’t worry about the self-congratulatory/propagandistic value of letting them call themselves “progressive”, since the word conjures up mostly unattractive images of smug self-righteousness.

    If someone wants to write a 24 Kinds of Leftists t-shirt, there’s nothing stopping them – go right ahead, BB!