This is a cute photo. It’s a photo of Doyin, the blogger at Daddy Doin’ Work. If it had come up on my facebook feed, I would have said “oh, cute!” and that would be that.
But when Doyin posted it, here’s some of what happened (read his post for the full story):
[...] there’s a small pocket of men out there that can’t stand me. Here’s a sampling of some of the private messages and comments I received from them after I posted this picture:
- “He probably rented those kids. They don’t even look like him.”
- “I would bet anything that you’re a deadbeat.”
- “OK buddy, cute picture. Now why don’t you hand the children back to their mom so you can go back to selling drugs or your bootleg rap CDs?”
- “So do you do this for all of your illegitimate kids?”
You get the idea. [...]
However, do you know what’s funny? Oftentimes when a dude posts a public hateful comment on my FB page or Twitter feed, it’s followed up by his wife or girlfriend emailing me privately to apologize for his behavior. [...]
Surprisingly (well, not surprisingly to me) in this instance, the majority of racist emails I received came from other black people. Again, here’s a sampling:
- “This would be so much better if those kids were BLACK!”
- “Look at this Uncle Tom. No chance he would be doing this if his kids were black.”
- “I’m sorry, but I can’t support a brotha who didn’t marry a black woman.”
- “Your MOM is black and you dishonored her by marrying outside of your race? You probably can’t handle a strong black woman.”
Doyin is emphatic in stressing that in both cases, the negative comments he received represented a small minority of (respectively) fathers and black folks who respond to his work, not the norm. But still. WTF? How much resentment is simmering out there that a black dad can’t post a cute photo of him taking care of his adorable children without getting angry racist replies? Sheesh.
Doyin also pointedly observes that he sometimes get praised for parenting, when no one would think twice (let alone praise) a mom doing the exact same things.
[Via the Good Men Project.]