Despite what this memo implies, typically Jews celebrate the birth of girls as much as the birth of boys — although without the bris, there’s more scheduling flexibility, as I understand it. But still worth posting, especially for Kimba Woods’ scribbled response.
(Via.)
I really didn’t knew what to expect from reading this but at the end I had a HUGE smile on my face.
What century does that dude think he’s in?
You go Kimbra, a very palpable touch but also a very civil and positive way to make a point.
Now can you teach politicians to pay this way?
A century where the First Amendment guarantees freedom to practice one’s religion, regardless of what a government official may think of it’s doctrines.
It’s also a century where one questions why a judge would think that it’s appropriate to hold a celebration in court if a lawyer in a case has a granddaughter but not a grandson. The scales of justice that should concern a judge are those of the law, not of religious practices. On what other basis should a court decide to have some manner of ceremony or observance in open court because of the religious practices of one of the lawyers?
The lawyer wants a day off for an extremely significant religious celebration. The conditions affecting the schedule of that celebration are legitimately the concern of the judge. Any sexism that the judge may perceive in those conditions are not. If I were this lawyer I’d take that memo to the judicial authority, show it as proof that the judge is predjudiced against Judaism and ask for her to be recused from the case and perhaps from the bench entirely.
Ron, please don’t assume that the memo is either accurate or representative concerning Judaism.
typically Jews celebrate the birth of girls as much as the birth of boys
My knowledge of Judaism is limited, but I find it hard to believe that a religion where the men wake up in the morning and thank God for not making them a woman* doesn’t celebrate the birth of a boy a bit more than the birth of a girl.
*Then again, I don’t know what the women say in their prayers…maybe they thank God for not making them a man? Anyone out there who knows and is willing to say?
The corresponding prayer that women, or at least orthodox women say (or used to say, if it’s changed since I used to pray) translates something like a thanks to God for “making me according to his will.”
Barry, thanks for posting the actual memo. I had heard the discussion rumbling on but not seen the original document. I guess things are always a little more nuanced than they appear at first hearing.
If a girl is born, then a naming is held in the synagogue within 30 days of the birth; the ceremony is followed by a hoo-hah. The bris must happen on the eighth day. Thus, the naming could be scheduled for grandpa’s convenience, but the bris has to happen on the appointed day.
It’s nice that the judge would celebrate the birth of a grandchild of any sort.
I think the judge’s reply was in very good spirit, with a nice little dig at the end. It seems a very pleasant exchange to me, and not one to incite demands for the judge’s recusal.
Diane,
Orthodox Judaism is not the only Judaism, and while I’m not in a good position to speak about it, I suspect there are a wide range of views even within Orthodoxy. Any given family’s views on the merits of sons and daughters isn’t solely determined by one line in liturgy.
And I can speak from personal experience that plenty of non-Jews have preferences for sons.
@ Andy … how is this getting talked about? All the posts I had seen just linked to the memo.
When I read it the first time, I was thinking “Okay, that’s kind of cute how he did that, with the spitting transliterated and all,” but like Kevin, I was also thinking “What century is this guy living in?” Then I got to the end and just smiled a big smile.
Are people taking offense on behalf of women or on behalf of Judaism? I think the guy’s thinking is a little outmoded, but he’s also in an awkward position of only needing the time off during the week if it’s a boy, so I took him to be playing the whole thing up a bit, using humor to get past the awkwardness.
It read to me like a humorous exchange between very intelligent and witty people about accommodating a reasonable but very specific religious request, couched in a way that offered opportunity for some humor that played up the judge/petitioning lawyer power relationship, and riposted with an equal bit of humor that played up the male/female power relationship. Seemed like both parties were enjoying the departure from the usual deadly dry legalese.
chingona: I agree with both points: Orthodox Judaism isn’t the only version of Judaism in existence and other religions have their sexist elements. A quick look at China or India’s sex ratios at birth should clear up the question of whether some non-Jewish people prefer sons to daughters or not. That doesn’t negate or excuse the sexism of orthodox Judaism. It is notable though that Epstein used the passive tense when speaking of disappointment if a daughter is born: He never said that he would be disappointed. I read the memo as a humorous, mildly embarrassed acknowledgment of a traditional unfairness in the culture. (A view supported by a follow up that I read that quoted Epstein as laughing and calling Wood’s response “wonderful”.)
It should probably be noted at this point that, from what I’ve read elsewhere, the Judge and Lawyer in question have a lengthy and friendly relationship. To me this read like two old friends joshing each other as much as anything.
I wonder if some of the people commenting here actually read this memo? If the baby is a girl, “some may even be disappointed” and “there will be happiness, though muted…”
This kind of brazen misogyny is inexcusable and should be condemned by anyone who values women and girls as full human beings. While this sort of misogyny exists inside and outside of religion, one cannot ignore the role that patriarchal religion plays in encouraging and validating this disgusting way of thinking. This man does not deserve a grandchild at all. Bravo Judge Wood.
This, like much of the letter, is a humorous presentation of Jewish stereotypes. I am sure this attorney does not regularly indulge this heavily in Yiddish. The sentence you quote – closing with a classic old yenta phrase – is what grandparents of a generation or two ago would say.
There may also be a very valid wish for a boy to bear the name of this grandfather’s beloved, deceased father.
This would be a whole lot more amusing if it weren’t discussing preparations to carve up an infant’s genitals.
Here’s hoping it’s a girl.