The Male Privilege Checklist

An Unabashed Imitation of an article by Peggy McIntosh

In 1990, Wellesley College professor Peggy McIntosh wrote an essay called “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack”. McIntosh observes that whites in the U.S. are “taught to see racism only in individual acts of meanness, not in invisible systems conferring dominance on my group.” To illustrate these invisible systems, McIntosh wrote a list of 26 invisible privileges whites benefit from.

As McIntosh points out, men also tend to be unaware of their own privileges as men. In the spirit of McIntosh’s essay, I thought I’d compile a list similar to McIntosh’s, focusing on the invisible privileges benefiting men.

Due to my own limitations, this list is unavoidably U.S. centric. I hope that writers from other cultures will create new lists, or modify this one, to reflect their own experiences.

Since I first compiled it, the list has been posted many times on internet discussion groups. Very helpfully, many people have suggested additions to the checklist. More commonly, of course, critics (usually, but not exclusively, male) have pointed out men have disadvantages too – being drafted into the army, being expected to suppress emotions, and so on. These are indeed bad things – but I never claimed that life for men is all ice cream sundaes.

Obviously, there are individual exceptions to most problems discussed on the list. The existence of individual exceptions does not mean that general problems are not a concern.

Pointing out that men are privileged in no way denies that bad things happen to men. Being privileged does not mean men are given everything in life for free; being privileged does not mean that men do not work hard, do not suffer. In many cases – from a boy being bullied in school, to soldiers selecting male civilians to be executed, to male workers dying of exposure to unsafe chemicals – the sexist society that maintains male privilege also immeasurably harms boys and men.

However, although I don’t deny that men suffer, this post is focused on advantages men experience.

Several critics have also argued that the list somehow victimizes women. I disagree; pointing out problems is not the same as perpetuating them. It is not a “victimizing” position to acknowledge that injustice exists; on the contrary, without that acknowledgment it isn’t possible to fight injustice.

An internet acquaintance of mine once wrote, “The first big privilege which whites, males, people in upper economic classes, the able bodied, the straight (I think one or two of those will cover most of us) can work to alleviate is the privilege to be oblivious to privilege.” This checklist is, I hope, a step towards helping men to give up the “first big privilege.”

The Male Privilege Checklist

1. My odds of being hired for a job, when competing against female applicants, are probably skewed in my favor. The more prestigious the job, the larger the odds are skewed.

2. I can be confident that my co-workers won’t think I got my job because of my sex – even though that might be true. (More).

3. If I am never promoted, it’s not because of my sex.

4. If I fail in my job or career, I can feel sure this won’t be seen as a black mark against my entire sex’s capabilities.

5. I am far less likely to face sexual harassment at work than my female co-workers are. (More).

6. If I do the same task as a woman, and if the measurement is at all subjective, chances are people will think I did a better job.

7. If I’m a teen or adult, and if I can stay out of prison, my odds of being raped are relatively low. (More).

8. On average, I am taught to fear walking alone after dark in average public spaces much less than my female counterparts are.

9. If I choose not to have children, my masculinity will not be called into question.

10. If I have children but do not provide primary care for them, my masculinity will not be called into question.

11. If I have children and provide primary care for them, I’ll be praised for extraordinary parenting if I’m even marginally competent. (More).

12. If I have children and a career, no one will think I’m selfish for not staying at home.

13. If I seek political office, my relationship with my children, or who I hire to take care of them, will probably not be scrutinized by the press.

14. My elected representatives are mostly people of my own sex. The more prestigious and powerful the elected position, the more this is true.

15. When I ask to see “the person in charge,” odds are I will face a person of my own sex. The higher-up in the organization the person is, the surer I can be.

16. As a child, chances are I was encouraged to be more active and outgoing than my sisters. (More).

17. As a child, I could choose from an almost infinite variety of children’s media featuring positive, active, non-stereotyped heroes of my own sex. I never had to look for it; male protagonists were (and are) the default.

18. As a child, chances are I got more teacher attention than girls who raised their hands just as often. (More).

19. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether or not it has sexist overtones.

20. I can turn on the television or glance at the front page of the newspaper and see people of my own sex widely represented.

21. If I’m careless with my financial affairs it won’t be attributed to my sex.

22. If I’m careless with my driving it won’t be attributed to my sex.

23. I can speak in public to a large group without putting my sex on trial.

24. Even if I sleep with a lot of women, there is no chance that I will be seriously labeled a “slut,” nor is there any male counterpart to “slut-bashing.” (More).

25. I do not have to worry about the message my wardrobe sends about my sexual availability. (More).

26. My clothing is typically less expensive and better-constructed than women’s clothing for the same social status. While I have fewer options, my clothes will probably fit better than a woman’s without tailoring. (More).

27. The grooming regimen expected of me is relatively cheap and consumes little time. (More).

28. If I buy a new car, chances are I’ll be offered a better price than a woman buying the same car. (More).

29. If I’m not conventionally attractive, the disadvantages are relatively small and easy to ignore.

30. I can be loud with no fear of being called a shrew. I can be aggressive with no fear of being called a bitch.

31. I can ask for legal protection from violence that happens mostly to men without being seen as a selfish special interest, since that kind of violence is called “crime” and is a general social concern. (Violence that happens mostly to women is usually called “domestic violence” or “acquaintance rape,” and is seen as a special interest issue.)

32. I can be confident that the ordinary language of day-to-day existence will always include my sex. “All men are created equal,” mailman, chairman, freshman, he.

33. My ability to make important decisions and my capability in general will never be questioned depending on what time of the month it is.

34. I will never be expected to change my name upon marriage or questioned if I don’t change my name.

35. The decision to hire me will not be based on assumptions about whether or not I might choose to have a family sometime soon.

36. Every major religion in the world is led primarily by people of my own sex. Even God, in most major religions, is pictured as male.

37. Most major religions argue that I should be the head of my household, while my wife and children should be subservient to me.

38. If I have a wife or live-in girlfriend, chances are we’ll divide up household chores so that she does most of the labor, and in particular the most repetitive and unrewarding tasks. (More).

39. If I have children with my girlfriend or wife, I can expect her to do most of the basic childcare such as changing diapers and feeding.

40. If I have children with my wife or girlfriend, and it turns out that one of us needs to make career sacrifices to raise the kids, chances are we’ll both assume the career sacrificed should be hers.

41. Assuming I am heterosexual, magazines, billboards, television, movies, pornography, and virtually all of media is filled with images of scantily-clad women intended to appeal to me sexually. Such images of men exist, but are rarer.

42. In general, I am under much less pressure to be thin than my female counterparts are. (More). If I am fat, I probably suffer fewer social and economic consequences for being fat than fat women do. (More).

43. If I am heterosexual, it’s incredibly unlikely that I’ll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover. (More).

44. Complete strangers generally do not walk up to me on the street and tell me to “smile.” (More: 1 2).

45. Sexual harassment on the street virtually never happens to me. I do not need to plot my movements through public space in order to avoid being sexually harassed, or to mitigate sexual harassment. (More.)

45. On average, I am not interrupted by women as often as women are interrupted by men. (More.)

46. I have the privilege of being unaware of my male privilege.

(Compiled by Barry Deutsch, aka “Ampersand.” Permission is granted to reproduce this list in any way, for any purpose, so long as the acknowledgment of Peggy McIntosh’s work is not removed. If possible, I’d appreciate it if folks who use it would tell me how they used it; my email is barry.deutsch@gmail.com.)

(This is an occasionally updated document; the most current version of The Male Privilege Checklist can always be found at https://amptoons.com/blog/?page_id=2402 . The views expressed here, which I started writing in 2001, unavoidably fail to precisely express my current views; that’s life, isn’t it? To see posts discussing the Male Privilege Checklist and various items on it, please visit this archive page).

* * *

Related links

For another feminist list with a different thematic approach, see Andrea Rubenstein’s “Think We’ve Already Achieved Equality? Think Again.

A list of links to many other “privilege lists.”

1,197 Responses to The Male Privilege Checklist

  1. 1101
    Jake Squid says:

    And here better commenters than I – I’m reading you, Ruchama & Harlequin – get to the root of the matter. The revulsion of PUA’s comes from their attitude towards women. Strangely, so do their tactics.

    Since I have nothing but admiration for women who have sex with as many or as few partners as they like, I also have nothing but admiration for men who have sex with as many or few partners as they like.

    The disdain and revulsion and contempt that you see towards PUA’s on feminist leaning sites has everything to do with their attitude towards women/assumptions about women that lead to their tactics and nothing to do with how many sexual partners they have.

    For those of us who strongly believe that women are people in exactly the same ways that men are people, PUA’s (and MRA’s) are repulsive, offensive, immoral pieces of shit. But that has nothing to do with how many sexual partners they have had.

  2. 1102
    Hill Guthrie says:

    Ok. If it is true that the majority dislike the intentions and methodology of a PUA but do not the care about the fact they are having sex with many women than it leads me to question how emotionally compartmentalized and sexually liberal are the masses.
    As evidenced by the polling data in the articles link from my original post more conservative views against promiscuity in young adults are more common that permissive ones. This changing viewpoint is the big take away.
    Independent of this the masses are aware of promiscuous men who are bashed for their efforts to act in the same manner as their female counterparts labeled sluts. I think this meets the criteria to invalidate #24.

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  5. 1103
    Diane Nash says:

    I feel this study is extremely vague. Male and women both have areas of privilege. In some areas women will have to be more driven to get the results they are wanting. But the same is true for men in other areas or even the same areas with different circumstances. Peggy is approaching this subject with biased point of view.

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  7. 1104
    Bad Horse says:

    For those of us who strongly believe that women are people in exactly the same ways that men are people, PUA’s (and MRA’s) are repulsive, offensive, immoral pieces of shit.

    I don’t believe you know anything about PUAs. What makes them repulsive, offensive, and immoral?

  8. 1105
    Jake Squid says:

    To quote extensively from the comment at the very tip top of this very page…

    The revulsion of PUA’s comes from their attitude towards women.

  9. 1106
    Bad Horse says:

    To quote extensively from the comment at the very tip top of this very page…

    The revulsion of PUA’s comes from their attitude towards women.

    What attitude, specifically?

  10. 1107
    Xander says:

    1. My odds of being hired for a job, when competing against female applicants, are probably skewed in my favor. The more prestigious the job, the larger the odds are skewed.
    – False. I am a software packager in the netherlands.

    2. I can be confident that my co-workers won’t think I got my job because of my sex – even though that might be true. (More).
    – False. I have flirted with my bos sin my last job. It resulted in promotion

    3. If I am never promoted, it’s not because of my sex.
    – False. I was promoted because I fucked my boss.

    4. If I fail in my job or career, I can feel sure this won’t be seen as a black mark against my entire sex’s capabilities.
    – True.

    5. I am far less likely to face sexual harassment at work than my female co-workers are. (More).
    – False. Sexual harrasment includes women threatening sexual harasment complaints against you. The chance of this happening to a man in majoraly female office are exceedingly high.

    6. If I do the same task as a woman, and if the measurement is at all subjective, chances are people will think I did a better job.
    – False. I a software packager. There are very exact metrics by wich we measure.

    7. If I’m a teen or adult, and if I can stay out of prison, my odds of being raped are relatively low. (More).
    – True

    8. On average, I am taught to fear walking alone after dark in average public spaces much less than my female counterparts are.
    – True

    9. If I choose not to have children, my masculinity will not be called into question.
    – False. Men at my age still without childeren are considered weird. I am 37.

    10. If I have children but do not provide primary care for them, my masculinity will not be called into question.
    – False. a man who fails at being a good father is considered the lowest of the low.

    11. If I have children and provide primary care for them, I’ll be praised for extraordinary parenting if I’m even marginally competent. (More).
    – False. A father is always seen as the lesser skilled parent.

    12. If I have children and a career, no one will think I’m selfish for not staying at home.
    – False. a man who fails at being a good father is considered the lowest of the low.

    13. If I seek political office, my relationship with my children, or who I hire to take care of them, will probably not be scrutinized by the press.
    -False, because I live in the netherlands where the personal life of politicians simply does not matter. We have a goddamn pedophile party over here.

    14. My elected representatives are mostly people of my own sex. The more prestigious and powerful the elected position, the more this is true.
    – SOrt of true, I think. However I used to date a council member of rotterdam, she is a woman. Currently the Netherlands has 5 female ministers and 6 male ministers. The secrtary generals are mostly woman. up to a few years ago we had a queen, there is no higher office.

    15. When I ask to see “the person in charge,” odds are I will face a person of my own sex. The higher-up in the organization the person is, the surer I can be.
    – True

    16. As a child, chances are I was encouraged to be more active and outgoing than my sisters. (More).
    – False. however my family is progressive. We recieved no role affirmitive upbringing. We did start demanding gender specific toys after a point though.

    17. As a child, I could choose from an almost infinite variety of children’s media featuring positive, active, non-stereotyped heroes of my own sex. I never had to look for it; male protagonists were (and are) the default.
    – Mostly true I think.

    18. As a child, chances are I got more teacher attention than girls who raised their hands just as often. (More).
    – extremely false. Might even be a lie. Girls always get more attention school no matter the situation. The idea that this is teh other way around is extremely alien to me and I do not believe at all that this happens anmywhere. Prove it

    19. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether or not it has sexist overtones.
    – true.

    20. I can turn on the television or glance at the front page of the newspaper and see people of my own sex widely represented.
    True, and is the same for women.

    21. If I’m careless with my financial affairs it won’t be attributed to my sex.
    – False. This statement is from opposite land. The default is “Men are spendthrifts and their wives moderate them and manage the household funds”. I have no idea where you got this biozarre idea.

    22. If I’m careless with my driving it won’t be attributed to my sex.
    – extremely True.

    23. I can speak in public to a large group without putting my sex on trial.
    – False. Show evidence that teh entire female sex is on trial when one woman gives a presentation. I will have to see evidence that women experience this before I believe it.

    24. Even if I sleep with a lot of women, there is no chance that I will be seriously labeled a “slut,” nor is there any male counterpart to “slut-bashing.” (More).
    – partially False. I am in fact considered to be a slut. However this is not said in any way negative like slut shaming. I experience no slut shaming

    25. I do not have to worry about the message my wardrobe sends about my sexual availability. (More).
    – True. On the flipside I can choose from only one fashion style that hasn’t changed a bit for the past 100 years or so.

    26. My clothing is typically less expensive and better-constructed than women’s clothing for the same social status. While I have fewer options, my clothes will probably fit better than a woman’s without tailoring. (More).
    -False. look it simply is not possible to buy a suit of the shelf and have it fit as tailored. it always has to be changed at least slightly to get that perfect fit. The build quality is exactly the same but mens clothing is still more expensive. Absolutely nothing of this point is based on reality.

    27. The grooming regimen expected of me is relatively cheap and consumes little time. (More).
    – True. However only for “special” occasions (special I use broadly, going to an important half hour meeting with the boss falls under this for example)

    28. If I buy a new car, chances are I’ll be offered a better price than a woman buying the same car. (More).
    – Cannot comment, never bought a car. Sounds very likely though.

    29. If I’m not conventionally attractive, the disadvantages are relatively small and easy to ignore.
    – false. It is much harder for an unatractive male to achieve anything in life. Being unatractive is openly held against you as a male. I am very lucky to have pretty face privelege.

    30. I can be loud with no fear of being called a shrew. I can be aggressive with no fear of being called a bitch.
    – False. While I will not be called a bitch, I will be physically attacked and arrested at the first sign of agression and the second I am loud people stop taking me seriously.

    31. I can ask for legal protection from violence that happens mostly to men without being seen as a selfish special interest, since that kind of violence is called “crime” and is a general social concern. (Violence that happens mostly to women is usually called “domestic violence” or “acquaintance rape,” and is seen as a special interest issue.)
    – true. However so can women. While at the same time men cannot ask for legal protection for domestic issues. In fact the mman will be arrested in all cases of domestic violence, even if he is the victim.

    32. I can be confident that the ordinary language of day-to-day existence will always include my sex. “All men are created equal,” mailman, chairman, freshman, he.
    – True. However this is only in egnlish where for some strange reason the word “Men” or “Man” kan be used as synonym for human. The rest of the world does not suffer this problem.

    33. My ability to make important decisions and my capability in general will never be questioned depending on what time of the month it is.
    – True

    34. I will never be expected to change my name upon marriage or questioned if I don’t change my name.
    – False. however this is a recent development. Yes a woman can demand it as. The current default is to add teh others name unto the own name seperated by a dash.Pesonally I feel we should just keep our names, name the sons after the men and the daughters after the women. So obvious.

    35. The decision to hire me will not be based on assumptions about whether or not I might choose to have a family sometime soon.
    – False. However this is only false in northern europe where men and women get equal maternity leave and it hurts the company the same no matter what or who gets pregnant.

    36. Every major religion in the world is led primarily by people of my own sex. Even God, in most major religions, is pictured as male.
    – True. Let’s bring back gaia to get some balanc eup in that religion thing.

    37. Most major religions argue that I should be the head of my household, while my wife and children should be subservient to me.
    – True. foget my previous comment about religion. let’s just remove it from the world completely instead.

    38. If I have a wife or live-in girlfriend, chances are we’ll divide up household chores so that she does most of the labor, and in particular the most repetitive and unrewarding tasks. (More).
    – False, utterly astoundingly false. if I want a relationship that lasts longer then a month or so at least. No woman in her right mind will put up with that shit.

    39. If I have children with my girlfriend or wife, I can expect her to do most of the basic childcare such as changing diapers and feeding.
    – no comment. This depends on to many factors. Rest assured that if she has the better career I will be the one at home changing diapers.

    40. If I have children with my wife or girlfriend, and it turns out that one of us needs to make career sacrifices to raise the kids, chances are we’ll both assume the career sacrificed should be hers.
    – False and utterly retarded. Offcourse not, you sacrifice the least lucrative career. Think of your families bottom line.

    41. Assuming I am heterosexual, magazines, billboards, television, movies, pornography, and virtually all of media is filled with images of scantily-clad women intended to appeal to me sexually. Such images of men exist, but are rarer.
    – True

    42. In general, I am under much less pressure to be thin than my female counterparts are. (More). If I am fat, I probably suffer fewer social and economic consequences for being fat than fat women do. (More).
    – True. Hoever the economic consequences are equal

    43. If I am heterosexual, it’s incredibly unlikely that I’ll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover. (More).
    – true

    44. Complete strangers generally do not walk up to me on the street and tell me to “smile.” (More: 1 2).
    – false. Hoever I’m attractive so that might skew it.

    45. Sexual harassment on the street virtually never happens to me. I do not need to plot my movements through public space in order to avoid being sexually harassed, or to mitigate sexual harassment. (More.)
    -true

    45. On average, I am not interrupted by women as often as women are interrupted by men. (More.)
    -Sounds likely

    46. I have the privilege of being unaware of my male privilege.
    – False. Being of a privileged sex and class in a privileged country and looking around me has made me accutely aware of my “good looking half-blood male”-privelege. when it comes to gender differences I see this more in the smaller things. Like for example if I stand somewhere with my sister (equal size and good looks) if we are aproached they talk to me first. I do not notice it in big things like carreer. I know for a fact that female software packagers get paid theexact same as me. Currently we have a lady who is paid more then me, and rightly so since she has 5 years of seniority on me (in experience, not living years).

  11. 1108
    Oneoftheincrediblyunlikely says:

    Enjoyable read, whilst the atypical feminist view is in full rampant force, I agree on all points except 43.

    As a victim, you’d be surprised what you see when the wool is removed and you speak to others in the same situation, domestic violence occurs because of broken people, not because of gender.
    “Incredibly Unlikely”? No. Not at all.

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  13. 1109
    tracy says:

    Awesome. Add something about how “If I never marry, for whatever reason, I don’t risk being called a spinster or a cat lady, two terms that have no equivalent for my sex”.

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  15. 1110
    Athena Brown says:

    Hey there everyone.

    I’ve given a point-by-point response to this article here:

    http://4thwavers.wordpress.com/2014/08/05/a-reponse-to-the-male-privilege-checklist/

  16. 1111
    pau says:

    for Xander: The point 32: I speak spanish, and “men” (hombre) is also a synonymous of “human” (humano). It is not a coincidence (you can infer why, i guess)

  17. 1112
    Elton Thomas says:

    This checklist deals with invisible and essentially unprovable social biases, but what about actual institutional bias? Since the most publicized injustices have involved black men experiencing unfair treatment in the criminal justice system, it’s worth pointing out that this is one sphere in which men most certainly do NOT have any advantage whatsoever. In fact, evidence overwhelmingly proves that women are far more advantaged as defendants in the criminal justice system. Perennially, men regardless of race experience outright gender discrimination in U.S. courts, so it’s no wonder this fundamental injustice doesn’t appear on this disingenuous checklist.

    In 2012, a female law professor named Sonja Starr conducted the most comprehensive study on gender bias in the justice system. Her compilation of evidence– the largest research yet accomplished– concluded that not only are women 15 times more likely to receive lighter sentences than men for the very same crime, but in fact women are more than twice as likely to avoid incarceration altogether. In fact, her evidence revealed that this gender bias against men is six times greater than racial bias in the criminal justice system. Here’s a link to her report:
    http://www.law.umich.edu/newsandinfo/features/Pages/starr_gender_disparities.aspx

    Women are more likely than men to graduate college and receive awards in child custody battles, and yet women are less likely to be killed by gun violence, become swallowed up by gangs, or drop out of school. And since more than half of all eligible voters are women, they have greater representation at the polls.

    Yet it seems the greatest injustice against men of all races appears in the place where injustice should be deemed most egregious: the justice system itself.

  18. 1113
    Ampersand says:

    Gee, Elton, you certainly got me – that study of sexism in prison sentencing from Sonja Starr is something you’d never, ever see written about on this blog.

  19. 1114
    karjos says:

    43. If I am heterosexual, it’s incredibly unlikely that I’ll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover. (More).

    “incredibly unlikely”, really????
    Most of the stats in the occidental world tell that men victims are between 10 and 15%.

    You call 10-15% “incredibly unlikely”? Is that a joke?
    It’s a minority, that’s for sure, but certainly not “incredibly unlikely”. (and I know what I’m talking about).

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  22. 1115
    Kyle says:

    Seriously that entire list is trivial when you consider that women make up the majority of voters and men make up the overwhelming majority of soldiers. It’s not surprising that many women vote for politicians who support foreign interventions when they themselves will never be forced to do any of the fighting.

    Even if a man does make more money, the majority of it benefits a woman if he is married. If a man makes more money and gets divorced, he will be severely financially penalized in divorce court. Of course women will use the threat of divorce to extract resources from a man while the marriage is still intact.

    If a man isn’t married, he has to pay more taxes. These tax dollars overwhelmingly benefit women who receive much more government benefits, including cushy government jobs, than men.

  23. 1116
    Lee1 says:

    @Kyle #1115

    Seriously that entire list is trivial when you consider that women make up the majority of voters and men make up the overwhelming majority of soldiers. It’s not surprising that many women vote for politicians who support foreign interventions when they themselves will never be forced to do any of the fighting.

    In polling, women pretty consistently report lower levels of support for higher defense spending and military action (here’s one fairly recent example, but there are many more if you just Google it). Likewise, historically men have been much more opposed to women having combat roles in the military than women have (although there seems to be a growing consensus among both men and women in support if it).* So your general premise here basically makes no sense.

    Even if a man does make more money, the majority of it benefits a woman if he is married.

    Do you live in an episode of Mad Men? You realize the majority of married women work outside the home now and bring their own salary to the family, right? There are certainly more stay-at-home wives than stay-at-home husbands, but that difference has shrunk a lot in recent decades.

    As a general rule I think it’s comical, in kind of a pathetic way, to think that many women are trying to entrap men into marriage and then blackmail them with the threat of divorce.** I’m sure that happens at some very low frequency, but do you honestly think it’s anywhere close to the norm? Just anecdotally, is that really what you’ve experienced personally or among your family, friends, colleagues, etc.? Because I haven’t seen a single example of it among people I know in my 40 years on the planet. In fact the starkest example I know has the sexes reversed – someone close to me divorced her emotionally abusive husband a few years ago and is now paying him child support because she makes a fair bit more money than him – a possibility he used as a “negotiating tactic” to try to stop the divorce (not that I think that’s at all common either).

    If a man isn’t married, he has to pay more taxes.

    Guess what? If a woman isn’t married, she also has to pay more taxes! (At least to the extent that’s true for either of them; the federal tax code as it relates to marriage – and pretty much everything else – is convoluted and stupid).

    These tax dollars overwhelmingly benefit women who receive much more government benefits, including cushy government jobs, than men.

    Ummm…what? Care to provide any evidence in support of those claims (especially the one about cushy government jobs)?

    *And of course at this point no one in this country is “forced to do any of the fighting,” at least in a strict sense, since thankfully we no longer have a draft. There’s the separate question of how many people with few other viable options join the military as a near-last resort and end up in combat, but that group does and will increasingly include both men and women.

    **And I say this as someone who thinks Intolerable Cruelty is one of the Coen Brothers’ top 3-5 movies, behind No Country For Old Men and Fargo but right there with True Grit, Miller’s Crossing, and O Brother.

  24. 1117
    Kyle says:

    It doesn’t matter if more people are accepting of women in combat roles. The fact remains that it is only men who are forced to register for the draft. Men make up the vast majority of combat roles and other hazardous jobs.

    I’m pretty sure every president in recent history has supported some form of foreign intervention. Since women make up the majority of voters, it is logical that many of them have voted for these presidents. I do agree that many men supported these interventions as well, but that is not the point I am arguing. I am arguing that if you are not forced to register for the draft, you should not have a right to participate in the decision-making of going to war.

    http://cdn.theatlantic.com/static/mt/assets/business/Women_in_gov_employment.png

    http://budgetandpolicy.org/images/Figure2_public_sector_employment_by_sex.png

    As you can see, men only outnumber women in federal jobs, which is a much smaller proportion of public sector workers than the other levels of government. The healthcare, education, and social service industries, which mainly employ women, are financed largely through taxes/government subsidies.

    It is also the case that most government welfare services go to women. Do you need me to provide evidence to back that one up as well?

  25. 1118
    Lee1 says:

    It doesn’t matter if more people are accepting of women in combat roles. The fact remains that it is only men who are forced to register for the draft.

    Actually it does matter, because we no longer have a draft in any meaningful sense. I realize that only men (including myself, back in the day) are required to sign up for selective service, which is clearly unfair. But from a practical standpoint it would take something truly horrific for that to actually result in a draft, given that by far the most deadly foreign attack on American soil since the draft ended didn’t come close to doing it.

    I am arguing that if you are not forced to register for the draft, you should not have a right to participate in the decision-making of going to war.

    Again, realistically no one, man or woman, in this country is actually subject to a draft, although I acknowledge that even having selective service on the books is shitty. This makes your argument largely moot. And given that women tend to be significantly less supportive of foreign intervention and military action, I fail to understand your logic here, since considering their input would tend to limit loss of life for both men and women. I’m also confused by the logic of your argument given that the men who actually make the decision about whether we send troops into combat – the president and the men in Congress – will have no direct involvement in said combat. Should we have a special vote of males aged 18-45 about whether we go to war?

    Regarding your govt employment links, if you’re under the impression that local or state jobs in education, health care, or social services can be painted with a broad brush as “cushy” (your word from above), you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. There are certainly sometimes job security benefits that you won’t find in the private sector, but they tend to go along with a much lower salary than could be obtained in the private sector. Seriously, in all three of those categories people employed at the state/local level are often paid like shit, generally speaking (I know from personal experience, but you don’t have to trust that – most state employment records are public). The point at which government jobs tend to become more “cushy” (again, based on personal experience) is at the higher-state and federal level, which based on your own link involves more men than women.

    It is also the case that most government welfare services go to women. Do you need me to provide evidence to back that one up as well?

    No, I don’t need evidence for that (not that you’ve provided convincing evidence for your earlier claims either…). But I would hope it would be obvious to any decent human being that the question shouldn’t be who gets the most support, but whether they’re getting more support than they deserve based on their circumstances, and the degree to which those circumstances are out of their control.

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  41. 1119
    Les says:

    So much of this is cis male privilege. Ignoring that is, itself, a privilege!

    Note, that trans men do experience male privilege. Indeed, it’s glaringly, terribly obvious. But yeah, let’s assume all men were read as boys when they were children…

  42. 1120
    Ampersand says:

    Les, that’s a good point. This list was first compiled before the word “cissexual” had been coined, and it’s showing its age. Next time I edit the list, I’ll go through it with your point in mind.

  43. 1121
    Mastro6 says:

    “29. If I’m not conventionally attractive, the disadvantages are relatively small and easy to ignore.”

    Well- the disadvantage of having no sex life might be seen as more than “small” or “easy to ignore”

    I remember one of my friends crying when his girlfriend left him. We were of course horrified that he was so public with his emotions. When I tried to comfort him he said “Mastro, I am UGLY! Women aren’t attracted to me!”

    Yeah- small and easy to ignore.

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  45. 1122
    Marcus Smith says:

    My main focus on this checklist is of things that actually affect someone’s safety and their capabilities in regards to career and overall living. Complaints about societal expectations or what SOME people think about you are nothing but 1st world problem whining and dilutes the real issues facing all races and sexes that can be resolved through changes in laws and court systems. In other words, if my privilege is just a different societal expectation that is my favor, I don’t care, there’s societal expectations that favor all races and genders and are all unsubstantial.

    1. My odds of being hired for a job, when competing against female applicants, are probably skewed in my favor. The more prestigious the job, the larger the odds are skewed.
    -False, due to affirmative action, almost every single job out there favors women and minorities over white men in the chances of being hired.

    2. I can be confident that my co-workers won’t think I got my job because of my sex – even though that might be true. (More).
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it)

    3. If I am never promoted, it’s not because of my sex.
    -False, due to affirmative action, almost every single job out there favors women and minorities over white men in the chances of being promoted.

    4. If I fail in my job or career, I can feel sure this won’t be seen as a black mark against my entire sex’s capabilities.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it)

    5. I am far less likely to face sexual harassment at work than my female co-workers are. (More).
    – False, men are far more likely to be threatened with sexual harassment charges, as well as threatened with false rape accusations. The last credible sources looking into this found that up to 1/3rd of all rape accusations were completely fabricated.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9s5H-RNjxY

    6. If I do the same task as a woman, and if the measurement is at all subjective, chances are people will think I did a better job.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it) also, probably false.

    7. If I’m a teen or adult, and if I can stay out of prison, my odds of being raped are relatively low. (More).
    – False, men are only slightly less likely to be raped within their lifetime(about 5% less likely) 80% of the time being raped by a woman
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9s5H-RNjxY

    8. On average, I am taught to fear walking alone after dark in average public spaces much less than my female counterparts are.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it) also men are far more likely to have a crime committed on them in general compared to women. Women are only told to be scared because of the sexist assumption that men are much more capable of handling a violent crime committed against them.

    9. If I choose not to have children, my masculinity will not be called into question.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it)

    10. If I have children but do not provide primary care for them, my masculinity will not be called into question.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it)

    11. If I have children and provide primary care for them, I’ll be praised for extraordinary parenting if I’m even marginally competent. (More).
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it)

    12. If I have children and a career, no one will think I’m selfish for not staying at home.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it)

    13. If I seek political office, my relationship with my children, or who I hire to take care of them, will probably not be scrutinized by the press.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it)

    14. My elected representatives are mostly people of my own sex. The more prestigious and powerful the elected position, the more this is true.
    – True, but women can vote just as much as men, you can’t blame men for this when it’s just as much women’s fault that they don’t vote for female politicians more.

    15. When I ask to see “the person in charge,” odds are I will face a person of my own sex. The higher-up in the organization the person is, the surer I can be.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it)

    16. As a child, chances are I was encouraged to be more active and outgoing than my sisters. (More).
    -True, because if you understand anything about sexual dimorphism you will know it is a scientific fact that boys need to be more active than girls to function properly, that’s why school systems punish and drug boys to act more like girls since girls less active and more patient demeanor works better in current school systems. In other words, there is a problem, but it’s something that hurts boys and men, not women.

    17. As a child, I could choose from an almost infinite variety of children’s media featuring positive, active, non-stereotyped heroes of my own sex. I never had to look for it; male protagonists were (and are) the default.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it)

    18. As a child, chances are I got more teacher attention than girls who raised their hands just as often. (More).
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it) Also false, girls are in general better at understanding class material and are much less likely to be bullied for being smart in school.

    19. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether or not it has sexist overtones.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it) Also you don’t NEED to ask that, 99% of the time I can guarantee you there is no sexist overtones, at least nothing that’s done intentionally to oppress you.

    20. I can turn on the television or glance at the front page of the newspaper and see people of my own sex widely represented.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it)

    21. If I’m careless with my financial affairs it won’t be attributed to my sex.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it)

    22. If I’m careless with my driving it won’t be attributed to my sex.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it)

    23. I can speak in public to a large group without putting my sex on trial.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it) Also unless you’re at an NRA convention or KKK meeting, you’ll be hard pressed to find people putting your sex on trial.

    24. Even if I sleep with a lot of women, there is no chance that I will be seriously labeled a “slut,” nor is there any male counterpart to “slut-bashing.” (More).
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it)True, but you should understand that a lot of this slut shaming is done by girls against other girls, there is this societal assumption that there is a competition for girls to find the best mates as historically that really was the case. Slut shaming is very much a girl on girl problem.

    25. I do not have to worry about the message my wardrobe sends about my sexual availability. (More).
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it)

    26. My clothing is typically less expensive and better-constructed than women’s clothing for the same social status. While I have fewer options, my clothes will probably fit better than a woman’s without tailoring. (More).
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it) Also you have female fashion designers to blame for this one.

    27. The grooming regimen expected of me is relatively cheap and consumes little time. (More).
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it) Don’t shave your legs and pits if it bothers you, some guys are into that.

    28. If I buy a new car, chances are I’ll be offered a better price than a woman buying the same car. (More).
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it) True, but if you do research before buying the car you’re 100% guaranteed to NOT get a raw deal, this only happens because guys in general know more about cars and know what a good deal is. Knowledge is power my friend.

    29. If I’m not conventionally attractive, the disadvantages are relatively small and easy to ignore.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it)

    30. I can be loud with no fear of being called a shrew. I can be aggressive with no fear of being called a bitch.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it) True, but you can be called a douchebag, son of a bitch, faggot, asshole, dickhead, fuckface… you get the point.

    31. I can ask for legal protection from violence that happens mostly to men without being seen as a selfish special interest, since that kind of violence is called “crime” and is a general social concern. (Violence that happens mostly to women is usually called “domestic violence” or “acquaintance rape,” and is seen as a special interest issue.)
    -False, I don’t even know what this is on about, first off men have “domestic violence” committed against them by women just as much as women do from men, in fact some studies say men deal with it slightly more often and are far more likely to be hit with a an object that could cause fatal injury. Secondly “domestic violence” IS A CRIME, and remember, men get raped almost as much as women and rapes are often committed by acquaintances, family members, friends, etc. Thirdly, there are thousands of help centers for female victims of rape and domestic abuse, ya know how many there are that would even accept men? Virtually zero, and we face these problems almost as much or just as much as women. Again, there’s a problem here, a problem men are facing. So what if some morons think you’re being selfish for seeking help from an abusive relationship? Get over it.

    32. I can be confident that the ordinary language of day-to-day existence will always include my sex. “All men are created equal,” mailman, chairman, freshman, he.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it) That’s just how the English language evolved as “man” doesn’t necessarily always mean “male” but can also just be short for “human”

    33. My ability to make important decisions and my capability in general will never be questioned depending on what time of the month it is.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it)

    34. I will never be expected to change my name upon marriage or questioned if I don’t change my name.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it) If you don’t want to change your name, you don’t legally have to.

    35. The decision to hire me will not be based on assumptions about whether or not I might choose to have a family sometime soon.
    -False, yes there are businesses that have unfair parental leave policies, yes that’s something that could be resolved through laws being put in place, but it is a problem both genders face.

    36. Every major religion in the world is led primarily by people of my own sex. Even God, in most major religions, is pictured as male.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it)

    37. Most major religions argue that I should be the head of my household, while my wife and children should be subservient to me.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it)

    38. If I have a wife or live-in girlfriend, chances are we’ll divide up household chores so that she does most of the labor, and in particular the most repetitive and unrewarding tasks. (More).
    -False, yes women in general do most of the housework, but that’s because men in general go to a job that gives them money so the woman and the kids still have a roof over their heads. If there’s a situation where the wife and husband both work similar hours then the chores are to be split up evenly, each couple can figure this out between themselves. There isn’t a “trump card” the man can play that forces the woman to follow what ever split of labor he wants, she can say no, she can divorce his ass and take an unfair amount of the stuff and is more likely to get the kids due to a sexist in favor of women divorce court.

    39. If I have children with my girlfriend or wife, I can expect her to do most of the basic childcare such as changing diapers and feeding.
    -False, same logic used in previous response, but replace housework with childcare. Though if you’re doing breastfeeding (which you should since formula has a long way to go before it’s as good for a baby as breast milk) then yeah only the woman can do that, however the man can do more of other childcare things to make up for that.

    40. If I have children with my wife or girlfriend, and it turns out that one of us needs to make career sacrifices to raise the kids, chances are we’ll both assume the career sacrificed should be hers.
    -False, reasonable couples decide based off of who has a career that pays more or has more potential for advancement that would pay more. If you don’t want to sacrifice your career you’re either being selfish by being the one who gets paid less or the person telling you to is being unreasonable because you would always be getting paid more. If they’re being unreasonable and won’t budge and it bothers you enough, divorce them.

    41. Assuming I am heterosexual, magazines, billboards, television, movies, pornography, and virtually all of media is filled with images of scantily-clad women intended to appeal to me sexually. Such images of men exist, but are rarer.
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it) It’s true though, but this is because heterosexual men are far less interested in seeing sexually appealing men than heterosexual women are in seeing sexually appealing women. A “problem”(I don’t personally think this can even be considered a problem) women face because of other women.

    42. In general, I am under much less pressure to be thin than my female counterparts are. (More). If I am fat, I probably suffer fewer social and economic consequences for being fat than fat women do. (More).
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it) True, but this is a women against women problem, going back to the competition for finding the best mate among women. Men fat shame women to, but just like with slut shaming, it is to a far lesser extent than other women doing it.

    43. If I am heterosexual, it’s incredibly unlikely that I’ll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover. (More).
    -False, see any real domestic violence statistic and you’ll see it’s just as likely to happen to men if not more so.

    44. Complete strangers generally do not walk up to me on the street and tell me to “smile.” (More: 1 2).
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it)

    45. Sexual harassment on the street virtually never happens to me. I do not need to plot my movements through public space in order to avoid being sexually harassed, or to mitigate sexual harassment. (More.)
    – True, but if it bothers you, call the police, even if you have no evidence they’re inclined to believe you. In fact, if you’re crafty you can record the incident and then sue their asses, $20,000 for an unwelcome butt squeeze aint so bad, huh?

    45. On average, I am not interrupted by women as often as women are interrupted by men. (More.)
    -(1st world problem whining, get over it)

    46. I have the privilege of being unaware of my male privilege.
    – False, anyone who browses the internet will see plenty of men bashing and white bashing. We’re reminded we’re “privileged” constantly and of course every single “privilege” we’re told we have is inconsequential social behavior or is just completely false as I have pointed out.

  46. 1124
    Lee1 says:

    Oh my word, that “female privilege checklist” link is a bad joke.

  47. 1125
    Grace Annam says:

    Lee1:

    Oh my word, that “female privilege checklist” link is a bad joke.

    Heh. With a url which starts “mensresistance”, we knew that going in, right?

    I think it was very educational. I had no idea that women have “complete control over [their] reproductive choice”. Spread the good news!

    It amuses me that he writes as though from a woman’s perspective. I speculate that he thinks that’s because Ampersand is a woman trying to write from a man’s perspective.

    The comment thread, what little I bothered with before hitting my limit on the question “Is this toxicity worth it today?”… wow.

    I’m not going to do a point-by-point — the temptation to do that is the great weakness of privilege lists. They attract nitpicking like lights attract moths, which nitpicking completely obscures the point of the exercise and what might be learned from them.

    I have come to the conclusion that privilege lists can be a useful way to explore if you are approaching the topic in an open-minded, noncompetitive manner. Used correctly, they are thought-provokers, small impulses toward “Huh. I hadn’t thought of that, before.” They are seeds for fertile ground.

    If you are feeling adversarial, they’re as useful as a tool toward understanding as a scrub brush is when you need to drive a nail.

    Grace

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  52. 1126
    Keegan v says:

    Wow look at the social engeneering fem nazis. I bet who ever wrote this is a pro abortion marxist scum. Fucking sex baiting men and woman against each other. Men are just a combat version of women. Our spieces cannot servive if men and woman hate each other.

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  63. 1127
    D says:

    With so many comments, I’m sure people have already pointed out everything I have to say, so I won’t say much.
    A lot of these are blatant cherry picking. As though you hadn’t considered what people may say in response to this list.

    1. is a proven lie: http://www.pnas.org/content/112/17/5360.abstract
    I’m not holding my breath for an admission you were wrong, even though you were as a matter of objective fact.

    7. If you can stay out of prison. What a shameless cherry pick. Men are much more likely to go to prison than women — even if they committed the same crimes — and then they are more likely to be raped — and obviously you already knew that beforehand, because that’s why you specifically excluded prison rape! CHERRY PICKING.

    8: How is that male privilege? That’s female privilege! Especially since women are safer in the dark than men, statistically. I mean, duh! Again, did you not think at all how a critic would respond?

    16. Boys are more likely to be abused by their parents than girls. Girls are less likely to be taught to be outgoing? Well, at least they’re also less likely to be spanked. Cherry picking again.

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  65. 1128
    suqi madiqi says:

    47 it is extremely unlikely you will make a list that compares another gender,race etc. Of why you are disadvantaged.
    Worldly worry always seeks to lead a human being into the small-minded unrest of comparisons, away from the lofty calmness of simple thoughts. To be clothed, then, means to be a human being-and therefore to be well clothed. Worldly worry is preoccupied with clothes and dissimilarity of clothes. Should not the invitation to learn from the lilies be welcome to everyone just as the reminder is useful to him! Alas, those great, uplifting, simple thoughts, those first thoughts, are more and more forgotten, perhaps entirely forgotten in the weekday and worldly life of comparisons. The one human being compares himself with others, the one generation compares itself with the other, and thus the heaped up pile of comparisons overwhelms a person. As the ingenuity and busyness increase, there come to be more and more in each generation who slavishly work a whole lifetime far down in the low underground regions of comparisons. Indeed, just as miners never see the light of day, so these unhappy people never come to see the light: those uplifting, simple thoughts, those first thoughts about how glorious it is to be a human being. And up there in the higher regions of comparison, smiling vanity plays its false game and deceives the happy ones so that they receive no impression from those lofty, simple thoughts, those first thoughts.
    Søren Kierkegaard, (1847) Upbuilding Discourses in Various Spirits, Hong 188-189

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  68. 1130
    Harlequin says:

    Well, three of those four are links to news articles about the same study :). The study had serious flaws as a way to probe who actually gets hired–there’s a good analysis at Slate of the way the study varies from the reality of the job market.

    The fourth one (or rather, the third–the insidehighered article) discusses a different study, which looked at outcomes over the last 20ish years of real people with Ph.D.s. It found that women and underrepresented minorities were more likely to get tenure-track jobs than white men; however, once on the tenure track, those groups were less likely to actually receive tenure (particularly black academics). That doesn’t necessarily tell you that women/URMs have an unfair hiring advantage, because it doesn’t assess quality or competence: if there’s racial bias or sexism at earlier career levels (and there is), it might have the effect of preferentially pushing out more of the lower-ability people in those categories, meaning that the average candidate drawn from those categories is more accomplished than the average white male candidate, and therefore should be more likely to be hired. Likewise, the fact that women/URMs don’t get tenure could be a sign of sexism/racism (at some level, not necessarily the tenure committee directly), or it could be a sign that those candidates were weaker to begin with–I mean, I obviously think it’s the first thing, but either explanation fits.

    That said, a number of the studies supporting a bias against women in science also fail to replicate real-world conditions. But some of them do replicate certain kinds of real-world evaluations, and those persistently find a bias against women.

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  75. 1131
    Mark Stahl says:

    You are living proof of the REAL problem in this country today. That problem being people with degrees thinking they have the authority to place stereotypical labels on other human beings as long as they are male or even worse, white male. I am a 45 year old Caucasian male. I grew up in Tampa Florida. Going to school in a large city such as Tampa and being Caucasian places a target on your back for constant and consistent harrassment by Hispanics and blacks.

    Working in the corporate world since the early 1990s consisted of a new age of affirmative action beneficiaries in full swing. It is there that you will find an absurdly high level of undeserving beneficiaries. I worked for two major, well known companies that were primarily minority run and always promoted black, female, Jewish, middle eastern and Hispanics first.You people that do not experience the real rat race sit back and bash white males because of a very small quantity of wealthy privileged men that actually consist of black, Jewish and white men. Most white men I know do not see color, are hard working and could care less about what color anyone is. And that is how it should be. Oh, and did I mention how men get royally screwed in the family court systems while women always get custody unless the man has a ton of money? The same family court system that has encouraged many women to abuse the system as common practice for personal gain to the fathers’ and children’s detriment. No, sorry, you hate mongers have been winning since the mid eighties. So quit your bitching and hating and try to make the world a better place instead of stirring up problems that don’t exist.

    What I would truly like to know since your a member of the new wave of white male haters that seem so relentless in the last few years is WTF? I mean life is already hard for so many in this day and age. Why don’t you use your education to benefit the world instead of helping to weaken it?

  76. 1132
    Jon Jay Obermark says:

    1. My odds of being hired for a job, when competing against female applicants, are probably skewed in my favor. The more prestigious the job, the larger the odds are skewed.

    The consequences of not having a job, or of making less than one’s peers are higher for men. A woman who makes less than her husband is seldom punished or insulted for it. The lower your social class, the more likely not making more than your spouse will raise questions about your masculinity. Lower social classes have more people in them.

    2. I can be confident that my co-workers won’t think I got my job because of my sex – even though that might be true. (More).

    Anyone who believes #1 believes men get their jobs because of their sex. So this is a lie.

    3. If I am never promoted, it’s not because of my sex.

    Anyone who believes #1 does not believe this. So this is a lie.

    4. If I fail in my job or career, I can feel sure this won’t be seen as a black mark against my entire sex’s capabilities.

    What is attributed to issues outside your control, and not assigned to you personally works to your persona advantage, not your detriment.

    5. I am far less likely to face sexual harassment at work than my female co-workers are. (More).

    True, but you are also more likely to face disparagement and unfair competition of other varieties. Sex is not a special category that automatically makes evil worse.

    6. If I do the same task as a woman, and if the measurement is at all subjective, chances are people will think I did a better job.

    This is a documented fact. But again if I don’t consistently appear to do better than women, I am punished. So the actual effect on me balances out.

    7. If I’m a teen or adult, and if I can stay out of prison, my odds of being raped are relatively low. (More).

    But the odds of being the victim of every other crime is higher. Sex is not a special category that automatically makes evil worse.

    8. On average, I am taught to fear walking alone after dark in average public spaces much less than my female counterparts are.

    But it is a lie. Men are actually less safe. Being deluded for the convenience of others is a disadvantage, not a privilege.

    9. If I choose not to have children, my masculinity will not be called into question.

    If you choose not to have a career, your masculinity will be called into question.

    10. If I have children but do not provide primary care for them, my masculinity will not be called into question.

    If you have children, but do not provide primary monetary support for them, your masculinity will be called into question.

    11. If I have children and provide primary care for them, I’ll be praised for extraordinary parenting if I’m even marginally competent. (More).

    Stay-at-home fathers are also routinely disdained and mistrusted. To have some of this offset by feminists does not make for balance.

    12. If I have children and a career, no one will think I’m selfish for not staying at home.

    If you choose to stay home, people will think you are selfish or inadequate for doing so.

    13. If I seek political office, my relationship with my children, or who I hire to take care of them, will probably not be scrutinized by the press.

    True, and affecting a tiny to vanishingly small percentage of the population.

    14. My elected representatives are mostly people of my own sex. The more prestigious and powerful the elected position, the more this is true.

    True, that is a job after all. See the comment on #1

    15. When I ask to see “the person in charge,” odds are I will face a person of my own sex. The higher-up in the organization the person is, the surer I can be.

    True, that is a job, after all. See the comment on #1

    16. As a child, chances are I was encouraged to be more active and outgoing than my sisters. (More).

    This is a matter of matching temperament, so it is as much a disadvantage as an advantage. It sets men up to take jobs, after all. See the comment on #1

    17. As a child, I could choose from an almost infinite variety of children’s media featuring positive, active, non-stereotyped heroes of my own sex. I never had to look for it; male protagonists were (and are) the default.

    You have to define protagonist in a way that rules out most of the Disney movies named after actual people. Role modeling matters only if you intend to fit your role.

    18. As a child, chances are I got more teacher attention than girls who raised their hands just as often. (More).

And more of that attention was negative. If more attention means more trouble, how is this an advantage.

    19. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether or not it has sexist overtones.

Nobody has to participate in or evaluate their own oppression. As a gay man I do not *need* to ask of each negative episode or situation whether I am being oppressed.

    20. I can turn on the television or glance at the front page of the newspaper and see people of my own sex widely represented.

This is true, men are more welcome to have public personas.

    21. If I’m careless with my financial affairs it won’t be attributed to my sex.

    What is attributed to issues outside your control, and not assigned to you personally works to your persona advantage, not your detriment.

    22. If I’m careless with my driving it won’t be attributed to my sex.

    What is attributed to issues outside your control, and not assigned to you personally works to your persona advantage, not your detriment.

    23. I can speak in public to a large group without putting my sex on trial.

    This is true, men are more welcome to have public personas.

    24. Even if I sleep with a lot of women, there is no chance that I will be seriously labeled a “slut,” nor is there any male counterpart to “slut-bashing.” (More).

    If you are a virgin, or other wise do not choose to pursue heterosexual sex, you will suffer almost no condescension, unless you flaunt the status in public. There is not anything like the same pressure on you to pursue sex and perform it for your peers, rather than yourself.

    25. I do not have to worry about the message my wardrobe sends about my sexual availability. (More).

    No, your sexual availability is widely presumed, and you have very little control over this perception. Not having control is somehow better?

    26. My clothing is typically less expensive and better-constructed than women’s clothing for the same social status. While I have fewer options, my clothes will probably fit better than a woman’s without tailoring. (More).

The whole ‘while I have fewer options’ part explains the whole dynamic here.

    27. The grooming regimen expected of me is relatively cheap and consumes little time. (More).

    Women face a medical disadvantage and are more at risk from unsanitary surroundings. So this is a social adaptation that protects you. Valuing cleanliness and grooming highly to begin with is something forced on men by women’s needs.

    28. If I buy a new car, chances are I’ll be offered a better price than a woman buying the same car. (More).

You will be offered the price you negotiate. Failure is not oppression.

    29. If I’m not conventionally attractive, the disadvantages are relatively small and easy to ignore.

    If you are not conventionally successful, the disadvantages are much greater, and impossible to escape.

    30. I can be loud with no fear of being called a shrew. I can be aggressive with no fear of being called a bitch.

    If you are truly aggressive, the legal and other social consequences will be less, in general, for the same level of transgression.

    31. I can ask for legal protection from violence that happens mostly to men without being seen as a selfish special interest, since that kind of violence is called “crime” and is a general social concern. (Violence that happens mostly to women is usually called “domestic violence” or “acquaintance rape,” and is seen as a special interest issue.)

    You cannot get the same level of actual support and help dealing with your victimization, however. As someone who has faced the same set of facts interpreted as ‘assault’ and as ‘domestic violence’, I was much better supported when the exact same acts where interpreted as domestic violence.

There is also no social consequence for asking for legal assistance to begin with. A male victim of a crime not considered severe enough has his masculinity questioned.

    32. I can be confident that the ordinary language of day-to-day existence will always include my sex. “All men are created equal,” mailman, chairman, freshman, he.

This is true, men are more welcome to have public personas.

    33. My ability to make important decisions and my capability in general will never be questioned depending on what time of the month it is.

If your ability to perform the same not only every day of the month, but in the face of severe emotional distress is not consistent, your masculinity will be questioned.

    34. I will never be expected to change my name upon marriage or questioned if I don’t change my name.

This is true, men are more welcome to have public personas.

    35. The decision to hire me will not be based on assumptions about whether or not I might choose to have a family sometime soon.

This is true. The effects of having a family on men are lower. But it is a direct consequence of the man’s lack of the option to stay home and raise that family without having his masculinity questioned.

    36. Every major religion in the world is led primarily by people of my own sex. Even God, in most major religions, is pictured as male.

    This is true, men are more welcome to have public personas.

    37. Most major religions argue that I should be the head of my household, while my wife and children should be subservient to me.

    Most major religions argue that if your household is endangered, you should be personally endangered, while your wife is kept safe. They further argue that if your tribe loses a war, you should be killed, and your wife and children should live.

    38. If I have a wife or live-in girlfriend, chances are we’ll divide up household chores so that she does most of the labor, and in particular the most repetitive and unrewarding tasks. (More).

If you have a household, chances are you will divide up chores in a way that puts you at greater personal risk.

    39. If I have children with my girlfriend or wife, I can expect her to do most of the basic childcare such as changing diapers and feeding.

This is true. The effects of having a family on men are lower. But it is a direct consequence of the man’s lack of the option to stay home and raise that family without having his masculinity questioned.

    40. If I have children with my wife or girlfriend, and it turns out that one of us needs to make career sacrifices to raise the kids, chances are we’ll both assume the career sacrificed should be hers.

    This is true. The effects of having a family on men are lower. But it is a direct consequence of the man’s lack of the option to stay home and raise that family without having his masculinity questioned.

    41. Assuming I am heterosexual, magazines, billboards, television, movies, pornography, and virtually all of media is filled with images of scantily-clad women intended to appeal to me sexually. Such images of men exist, but are rarer.

    Assuming I am heterosexual is a stupid thing to do.

    42. In general, I am under much less pressure to be thin than my female counterparts are. (More). If I am fat, I probably suffer fewer social and economic consequences for being fat than fat women do. (More).

    43. If I am heterosexual, it’s incredibly unlikely that I’ll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover. (More).

    Assuming I am heterosexual is a stupid thing to do. Your spouse or lover is free to use low-level violence against you as a matter of course. If you respond in scale, your masculinity is questioned. If you respond out of scale, it is a crime.

    44. Complete strangers generally do not walk up to me on the street and tell me to “smile.” (More: 1 2).

    Complete strangers may become physically aggressive with me on a truly dangerous scale if they do not like my attitude. (The criminal threat to women is largely from non-strangers.)

    45. Sexual harassment on the street virtually never happens to me. I do not need to plot my movements through public space in order to avoid being sexually harassed, or to mitigate sexual harassment. (More.)

True.

    45. On average, I am not interrupted by women as often as women are interrupted by men. (More.)

    True. But men interrupt men as often as they interrupt women. In groups of only men, they do it much more often. So your total odds of being interrupted are not lower.

    46. I have the privilege of being unaware of my male privilege.

    You do not have the privilege of pointing out women’s privileges except in response to their direct attacks on your equality. If you do so, you will be labeled, often called ‘disgusting’, and punished.



  77. 1133
    Jon Jay Obermark says:

    I summary — yes patriarchy is real. No it is not a source of privilege for men in general, it is a threat to them.

    The concept of “male privilege” as a central concept is just feminism throwing potential male feminists under the bus.

    Focussing on work an social performance as an opportunity rather than an obligation is just being purposefully blind to men’s weakness and the fragility of masculinity.

    Ignoring the disparity in the level of violence is itself criminal. Using the prudery around sex to make equal crimes into a greater evil when the effects are the same is just sleight-of-hand.

    Looking closely at the social manipulation of women through sex and ignoring the manipulation of men through ‘success’ is just going to keep men overrepresented in high-status positions.

    Every male hero who survives by his own grit is an unreachable standard for masculinity as clear and present as Barbie. Setting up boys to want to be President or play professional basketball, when they are more likely to end up as garbagemen is just cruelty comparing setting up girls to want to be Mommy.

  78. 1134
    Bäd says:

    I’ve subscribed to the comments on this for over a year now. Mostly, it’s provoked indignant agreements from women and indignant objections from men. It’s made things worse, not better, because the list’s one-sidedness makes the sentiment underlying it appear to be resentment, not a desire for reconciliation or cooperation.

    It seems to me this could have been done in a less polarizing way. I also feel it’s disingenuous to present the list as a man confessing his male privilege, as if this added weight to it, when Barry is a professional feminist who gets paid for slanting hard left, and whose works (e.g., “How to Make a Man Out of Tin Foil”) suggests that he doesn’t identify with men, but resents being told he’s “one of them.”

  79. 1135
    Ampersand says:

    Excerpt from a comment that I didn’t approve:

    ..What we now know (and was obvious all along) is that the moment a career woman earns a six figure salary…

    She blows it all on designer handbags and shoes and then complains that there are no rich men out there to bail her out.

    Feminists planned this all along.

  80. 1136
    Aflias says:

    Why would you just air an excerpt from an alleged post out of context and not simply let the post go through?

    I mean, you could add several trigger warnings in red letters at the top that someone is not posting “The Approved Narrative” and may have an opinion that differs from the Echo Chamber.

    Weirdest thing I have ever seen.

  81. 1137
    Ampersand says:

    Aflias, read through the comments on this thread. I mean, there are literally HUNDREDS of comments on this thread disagreeing with my views. In what way is that an “echo chamber”?

    I put the quote here because I thought it was funny. I didn’t approve the person to post on “Alas” because he didn’t seem like he’d be very capable of having an interesting discussion. I approve a lot of right-wingers and other “dissenters” to post on “Alas”; but I try not to approve people who seem like they’d be incredibly tedious to talk to, or who seem like they’d be mean, or who seem full of unrestrained rage and hate.

    Finally, if that’s really the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen, then you’ve got to get out more. :-p

  82. 1138
    SticksStones says:

    47. As a white male in my 30’s, I didn’t create this system, nor do I wish things to remain this way. All the other white males that I know feel the same. Why is this my fault?!….it’s not, no more than any feminist in her 30’s.
    Sexism will remain unless society as a whole comes to understand this as a systematic problem with society, enforced by both genders, even if not equally.
    Egalitarianism is the way forward, equal rights for all, condemnation for none! Build bridges between the genders, the sexism war is over, it ended years ago.

  83. 1139
    HonestPanda says:

    Response.
    1. Hmm. Have you considered that employers usually hire employees similar to themselves? Female employers are more likely to hire females.
    2. So, I suppose credentials mean nothing to you?
    3. Untrue. Sometimes female employees seduce and tease their bosses to get promoted.
    4. Perhaps, but you are seen as a failure as a man.
    5. Well, actually, sexual harassment against males isn’t usually reported or taken seriously.
    6. I don’t see how that is even possible. Then again, I’m the sort of person concerned with results, not genitals.
    7. Odd, I seem to remember having to pour out my drink when I saw a woman dumping something in it. Have you considered the rapes simply weren’t reported out of shame?
    8. This is not a privilege, it increases the chances of violence against the unconcerned individual.
    9. Yes it does. You are assumed to be gay if you do not wish to have kids.
    10. This is because masculinity tends to be considered “strong.” But if you do do primary care, you are considered femine and unmanly.
    11. See 10.
    12. Anyone who thinks having a career and children is selfish for either gender is an idiot. Would they rather the children have lots of parental time but no food in their bellies?
    13. Untrue. Do you notice how the people running for president/governor/ mayor always have commercials of them with their family?
    14. Less to do with a patriarchal society and more to do with a simple lack of female interest in politics. Those woman who do take an interest end up going far, even if they are incompetent (see Sarah Palin).
    15. Yes, let’s ignore all the inspiring women who worked their way up to the top despite the fact that female bosses are on the rise.
    16. Like most children, I was told to sit down and shut up and do what I was told. My sisters, however, were given free reign. One got pregnant at 17, and another was in the hospital for a good while due to alcohol poisoning.
    17. Un stereotyped? Every superhero is a guy with ripped abs and one liners. It tells boys if you aren’t athletic, you’re a loser.
    18. Not true either. The teachers assumed that since some of the boys were idiotic and loud, all boys must be. They only called on boys if no girl had their hand raised. They even had girls come in to eat earlier because they didn’t want boys to be too rowdy in the cafeteria.
    19. Boys aren’t allowed to complain, lest they be called gay pansies.
    20. Yes, well let’s see… Desperate Housewives, Sex in the City, every movie/TV show/ new story with more than one person… These things tend to have at least one woman in them.
    21. No, you’re just considered an idiot.
    22. Bad driving is a stereotype more heavily applied to Asian men and women than to women in general.
    23. What about all the men who come under fire due to a slip of the tongue that “proves all men are misoginists.”
    24. Funny you should say that, I literally heard today someone call Jordan a “man-slut.”
    25. Well actually, men in relationships tend to dress more conservatively than men who aren’t.
    26. This may just be me, but I have to get custom clothes because they don’t make jeans my height and width. They make jeans wider, not taller, and I’m always too skinny for them.
    27. Grooming is a personal choice. I, personally, shave everywhere but my arms and legs(note:I shave armpits as well.) Some men and women don’t shave at all. Some people are hairless in those places and get off scottfree. Plus, this seems really nitpicky.
    28. Car salesmen don’t just take gender into account, they size you up so if you look bookish and not knowledgable about cars, the prices go up, but if you look like a more car expert (I.e. Not book smart but car smart) the prices go down. If you look poor the price will go down, and if rich, up. Many things go into consideration. If you actually know what a car is worth, you won’t get swindled.
    29. An outright lie. Ugly girls get pity and sympathy which they can work with. Ugly men are considered to be completely worthless, I myself was a rather “ugly duckling” as a kid. Luckily, I bloomed into an average looking guy. Not attractive, really, but not ugly, either.
    30. You get called a dick.
    31. Domestic violence and acquaintance rape are not even taken seriously against men.
    32. Really nitpicky here. You can also just say “milkwoman,” “businesswoman,” etc.
    33. To be fair, a woman isn’t as rational as she is when she isn’t on her period. You can’t blame her of course, anyone in pain would tend to be grouchy. Course then she uses her period as an excuse for inexcusable behavior.
    34. Nowadays, when John Smith marries Mary Claire, they usually become Mr. and Mrs. Smith-Claire, or vice versa.
    35. People tend to view single men as unreliable, since they aren’t tied down.
    36. I’m sorry, let me just look in this book of religious deities.. Oh look! Somehow, there are tons of goddesses! But.. I thought only men could be gods! Is it a typing error?
    37. To be fair, in ancient times men and women were equal, when they picked berries and hunted together… But when men started hunting by themselves and women decided to do the safer job of child rearing, they pretty much damned themselves to sub-service. It could have easily have been men who brought up the children and the women who were the heads of the households.
    38. If a man is the one with the job or had a job with longer hours, then the woman should do the majority of the housework, and vice versa. This results in an equal balance of work. And also, housework is easy. It’s a house, a finite area. It’s not like you’re cleaning a town.
    39. This is due to the fact that men are believed to be rapists and will rape anything should they be left alone with it for more than 5 minutes.
    40. Yeah, actually most people just drop the job that makes the least money. Since that is the option that results in the most money.
    41. Lesbian women benefit from this as well, do they not? And I thought this was a list for MALE privilege not straight male privilege.
    42. If boys suffer from anorexia or other eating disorders, they are not treated the same way girls are.
    43. Are you saying that gay men are more likely to abuse their spouses? And in actuality, most male abuse isn’t reported due to shame. It isn’t as unlikely as some people believe.
    44. I don’t understand this complaint… Are people taking pictures of you? People have done that to me and I don’t particularly mind.
    45. You repeated 45 twice. Anyway, another straight lie. The only difference is, men think it is flattering.
    45. So.. Someone did a study on how often one gender interupts another? Or did you make that up? Either way, it’s totally out of whack. Rude interruptions are caused by either the idiocy of the person speaking requiring someone to pipe up to shut their mouths or the fact that the person interrupting simply has that rude personality.
    46. Women have the privilege to point out the tiniest things while also ignoring their own privileges.

  84. 1140
    Aflias says:

    HonestPanda,

    That’s a lot closer take on reality than Ampersand’s completely one-sided efforts. As far as I can see, he could care less about reality.

    I just don’t understand why he wants to be so partisan about it – some of it isn’t even plausible. He never seems to respond to the substantive question of why he is so prejudiced against men. He mocks others’ attempts to explain it (exactly like Hugo Schwyzer was wont to do), he ignores people on the wrong side of the narrative and he then bans on a pretext or just “disappears” people.

    Why?

  85. 1141
    Ampersand says:

    He never seems to respond to the substantive question of why he is so prejudiced against men.

    And I also never answered if I’ve stopped beating my wife!

  86. 1142
    Ampersand says:

    Intersectionality and Narrative: Why the Privilege Knapsack Must Change — Medium

    An essay criticizing privilege lists (naming this one and Peggy McIntosh’s original). This is over a year old, but I just saw it for the first time; definitely more interesting than most.

  87. 1143
    Lee1 says:

    You are assumed to be gay if you do not wish to have kids.

    Who in the hell thinks this? Is this really a thing? I don’t want to have kids, and I don’t think I’ve ever been assumed to be gay. Being married to a woman for the past 7+ years probably helps, but still I find it extremely hard to believe this is a common perception.
    Also, HonestPanda, did you happen to notice that there are links providing documentation for many of the things in the checklist? And that you provided no documentation at all for any of your assertions? Does that seem odd to you?

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  89. 1144
    Makayla logan says:

    I don’t agree with number 6 because once a man and a women both have the same job I feel as if sex is no longer looked at. Now its as if they are both equal when looking at the work one has done over the other.

  90. 1145
    Dakota says:

    to the people saying there is no sex war anymore, have you ever been borderline sexually harassed by a man on the street? are compelled to hold your phone/keys/pepper spray/etc. in your hand when walking alone? been denied health care because they wrote it off as “PMS” or “you’re just exaggerating”. and the fact that “women are more irrational on their period’s” is bull a woman’s testosterone levels are the highest when she is menstruating, this means that she is the closest, hormonally, to a man when she is on her period but, men aren’t irrational.

    the problem isn’t sexist men, or even men in general. the problem is the society we live in that continues to paint girls and women as weak or less skilled or irrationally emotional. we need to stop pointing fingers to sexist individuals and start thinking about what in society makes us think about women in this way and do our best to stop it.

    I agree that sexism is also an issue for men, especially in clothing options and emotions, but the issues women face are far more concerning.

  91. 1146
    Bäd says:

    have you ever been borderline sexually harassed by a man on the street?

    No, but I have been sexually assaulted by women on the street, in public, who grabbed my private parts. People watching just laughed, both times, because when a man treats a woman like crap, it’s tragedy; when a woman treats a man like crap, it’s comedy, or maybe grrl power.

    are compelled to hold your phone/keys/pepper spray/etc. in your hand when walking alone?

    Yes. If you’d check the stats you’d see that men are much more likely than women to be victims of assault.

    been denied health care because they wrote it off as “PMS” or “you’re just exaggerating”.

    Many, many times. Except they didn’t call it PMS. Doctors do that to everybody, male or female, black or white.

    Thank you for having the sense to ask us whether these things happen to us also, rather than just assuming that they don’t!

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  93. 1147
    Ampersand says:

    Step one: Submit a comment which says, in its entirety:

    It’s actually hard to think of some bigger bullshit than the contents of this list.

    Please, someone tell me that this is a joke already.

    Step two: The comment doesn’t get approved.

    Step three (predicted): “My intelligent and well-thought-out critique wasn’t approved. Obviously this person refuses to listen to disagreement.”

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