Alas, an introduction.

Hello. I’m An.

Mandolin reposted an article or two by me in the past, and then incited me to join on as an occasional blogger. Which resulted in me finding the nearest rock and hiding under it for several months.

I could spin that into the old trope entrance – It’s an honor to be among such articulate and intelligent people, and it’s also incredibly intimidating, thank you for letting me be here – but while it is an intimidating honor and I am glad to be here, I’d rather touch on it and then jump into a different-though-related topic with both feet.

That being: hi, I’m new at this.

I’m a member of quite a few out groups. I’m also a member of quite a few in groups, and I come from a position of marked privilege. Relatively comfortable economic status, college-educated family, good neighborhood, excellent school district, extremely accepting and supportive church environment, so on. I wasn’t forced to confront issues of privilege until recently – not in any real way. (The rather euphemistic “Yes, racism is bad” I got in public schools doesn’t count.)

When asking to reprint one of my rambles here on Alas, Mandolin mentioned “You are *very* good at stating 101 stuff in simple, easy-to-understand language.” To which I responded, “Possibly part of it is because I’m in the process of learning so much of it, myself.”

That’s great for writing with empathy and compassion. Not so great for the niggling fear that I’d post and wind up with my foot so far in my mouth I’d get my tonsils stuck under my toenails.

So as I sat under my rock and avoided writing this introduction, I also considered what I’d bring to this blog and what I’d get out of it. 101 stuff, probably. Another voice with another set of personal experiences. Some observations on social expectations, on family structures and neuro-atypicality, on transmission and acquisition of culture. And it struck me that perhaps two things needed to take front seats in this consideration: (1) If no one spoke for fear of making mistakes, that silences a lot of voices, and (2) Maybe the stigma against making mistakes is a cultural element that should, in itself, be resisted.

We live in a society where ignorance is an insult. It’s not admirable to admit that you don’t know something; sometimes it’s damning. In political campaigns, changing one’s mind is taken as evidence of a candidate’s unsuitability. How dare anyone revise their opinions, even over the course of several years? I can’t help but feel that the end result isn’t a reduction of ignorance; it’s a reduction of people willing to risk being called ignorant, even in an environment where it could be addressed.

Personally, I think ignorance is a prerequisite for learning, and it’s not ignorance that should be called out, it’s resistance to education. If you hold all the same convictions at 50 as you did at 30, I’d wonder what you’d been doing with your life. But that doesn’t make admitting to ignorance any more palatable, and there aren’t a lot of good examples out there of people standing up and saying, “Hey, I was wrong about this, here’s a correction,” – or of other people reacting in a way that validates or normalizes it.

I think there is a need for a safe place to be wrong.

It’s often better to make mistakes in the company of experts than the company of the uninformed. Experts can correct you. It’s the same reason that there are no stupid questions in a classroom, and it’s why my old marching band instructor told us in practice that if we made mistakes, he wanted them obvious: you make them, you get called on them, you improve, and you do better next time. And if all else fails, takedowns of common misconceptions can be useful resources, even if they just go on the “link people to these if they don’t get it” card.

So here I am. I’m going to write things. Despite my best efforts I’m probably going to make mistakes, and I hope I’ll be able to fix them, to make them part of the dialogue rather than stumbling blocks to discourse. And if some of what I write is quite basic, call it a 101 document and I’ll work up through the curriculum as I go.

It’s a pleasure to meet you all.

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14 Responses to Alas, an introduction.

  1. 1
    Jake Squid says:

    Welcome, An. I look forward to reading your posts.

  2. 2
    Danny says:

    Hi.

    I think there is a need for a safe place to be wrong.
    Agreed but those places are frankly few and far between.

  3. 3
    PG says:

    Welcome! I look forward to seeing more of your writing.

    I think there is a need for a safe place to be wrong.

    As the internet goes, this blog is unusually good for that. I prefer it to most of the other big blogs that are feminist-identified because the moderators do not allow commenters to overtly abuse one another, and there’s less of the clique-ishness that I’ve seen on some blogs that leads to a pack of commenters going after a single person for (what they perceive to be) being wrong and demanding apologies and the like. I’m pretty sure I’ve had a knock-down argument with every regular blogger and commenter on this blog, and almost none of them seem to bear grudges :-) So while people here will call you out for being wrong, they’ll say it once and then let it go.

  4. 4
    Sailorman says:

    Welcome. Can’t help but ask: Are you a magistrate?

  5. 5
    attack_laurel says:

    Hi there!

    Mistakes are the only way we learn effectively; I’ve been teaching my students (and, by example, in my blog) that admitting mistakes and moving on is one of the most valuable skills for really learning about something, because if they are too afraid to cop to their errors, they’ll never learn a better way.

    So, I know where you’re coming from. :)

  6. 6
    RonF says:

    In political campaigns, changing one’s mind is taken as evidence of a candidate’s unsuitability.

    An interesting phenomenon. “Flip-flopping” has entered our political vocabulary to describe this. It seems legitimate to me to condemn a politician who appears to change their position on an issue on the basis of who they’re talking to or if they have done so for the sole purpose of getting votes. For one thing that shows a lack of integrity. It also means that the position is not deeply held and is likely to be changed again on the basis of political expediency rather than on principle or reasoned argument.

    OTOH, it make it hard for a politician to actually consider reasoned argument and change their position thereby. The answer to that would seem to be that a politician in that position could present the arguments they considered and the reasons why they decided to adopt a new stance on an issue. But that would require the electorate to actually listen and consider reasoned argument themselves, as opposed to depending on 30-second sound bites.

    Good luck on that.

    And the politicians know that.

  7. 7
    Barbara P says:

    Of course you’re right about being safe to make mistakes, but a humble attitude (on the part of the student) means a great deal. My definition of ignorance is lack of knowledge paired with an arrogant, closed-minded attitude (trolls? I hate them so much!). And while there may sometimes be understandable reasons for the arrogance (insecurity, or self-defense) most of the time it’s just obnoxious.

    You are clearly not acting in an arrogant manner in your post; you serve as a great example of how a new-comer should be. (Perhaps you’re even being a bit too hard on yourself!) So in my book, you are not ignorant, but well on the path to being a great contributor to these discussions.

    In fact, I think everyone would be well-served to keep that kind of humble, open-minded attitude in all areas of life, balanced with knowing when to speak up and state your case.

  8. 8
    RonF says:

    When we look to hire someone around here we get information about what they know, or what they supposedly know anyway. That information is usually communicated on the basis of the candidate having this certification or that academic credential.

    Now, these things are valuable, but the question I have learned to ask is “What are your scars?” I have found that you learn a lot more from when you were wrong than from when you were right. Someone who claims they’ve always been right is a liar. Someone who expects people to always be right is a fool. And someone who’s afraid to be wrong is useless, and possibly a coward. Don’t be afraid to be wrong. Anyone who’s more interested in hammering you for being wrong than in working to demonstrate or prove what’s right is only trying to gratify themselves. You’ll need to develop a bit of a thick skin, but remember – they’re only electrons.

  9. 9
    RonF says:

    For those who would be afraid to engage people on the basis that they might be wrong, and especially for those who feel superior by standing by and criticizing those who dare be wrong, let me offer the view of Theodore Roosevelt. The language is a bit high-flown and bears the marks of his times, but I find no fault with the basic philosophy:

    It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

  10. 10
    Ampersand says:

    Welcome, Magistrate! I’m really looking forward to your posts.

    (And PG, thanks very much for the kind words about Alas — although we’re really not a “big” blog anymore. Thank goodness.)

  11. 11
    B. Adu says:

    Maybe the stigma against making mistakes is a cultural element that should, in itself, be resisted.

    Couldn’t agree more. I wish you well.

  12. 12
    Jeff Fecke says:

    I’m pretty sure I’ve had a knock-down argument with every regular blogger and commenter on this blog, and almost none of them seem to bear grudges :-)

    That’s what we tell you… :P

    I think there is a need for a safe place to be wrong.

    This. Over and over again.

  13. 13
    Joy-Mari Cloete says:

    Hey, hey, hey

    Welcome. I twittered this article.

    Can’t wait to see what you’ll write for us.

  14. 14
    Manju says:

    Mandolin reposted an article or two by me in the past, and then incited me to join on as an occasional blogger

    that must have been one intense invitation.