![\"\"](\"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/types_of_libertarian.png\" "\\"types_of_libertarian\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\nScript:<\/p>\n
TITLE: The 24 Types of Libertarian
\nBalding white guy: no fair oversimplifying our simplistic philosophy!<\/p>\nCaption: NAIVE
\nHappy guy with goatee: if the government would DISAPPEAR, everyone would act SENSIBLY and we’d all be able to get ALONG!<\/p>\nCaption: PETULANT
\nAnnoyed guy with necktie: libertarians don’t win elections because we’re too PURE and GOOD!<\/p>\nCaption: TOO SMART FOR SCIENCE
\nGuy with small face on large head: OBVIOUSLY, climate scientists made up global warming. because they’re SOCIALISTS.<\/p>\nCaption: ARROGANT
\nSmiling woman with “explaining hands”: CLEARLY you’ve never READ the evidence.<\/p>\nCaption: LEFT-WING
\nWoman in distance, yelling to be heard: I’m HERE! i EXIST! i’m against the goverment AND corporations! why does everyone always ignore me?<\/p>\nCaption: DENIAL-ICAN
\nAnnoyed guy with shaved head and cigarette: just because i’ve voted republican every election for 20 years is no reason to call me a republican!<\/p>\nCaption: MORE LIBERTARIAN THAN THOU
\nGrinning man with goatee and ponytail: we should PRIVATIZE the police! people who can’t afford to pay the cops won’t have anything worth stealing, anyway.<\/p>\nCaption: TERRIFIED
\nFrightened, crouching man wearing combat fatigue pants: BIG GOVERNMENT is coming! thank GALT i’ve stockpiled so much AMMO!<\/p>\nCaption: TOO MUCH HEINLEIN
\nBlack guy making big arm gestures: lazarus long said that all men are created UNEQUAL. it’s not MY fault i’m SMARTER than poor people!<\/p>\nCaption: THE ISLAND
\nOlder man in colorful vest and button-up shirt, holding a piece of paper in one hand. An arrow caption pointed at the piece of paper says “social security check.” Two more arrow captions, pointed at the man, say “Public school grad” and “drives on public roads.”
\nMan: no one ever gave ME anything! so don’t force ME to give to others!<\/p>\nCaption: CREEPY
\nMan in shadows, wearing sunglasses: why should i have to go all the way to THAILAND to have sex with a child prostitute?<\/p>\nCaption: SELECTIVELY FRUGAL
\nMan with worry lines on forehead: the deficit is too HIGH to AFFORD anything for the poor! OR the environment! …but don’t let that stand in the way of my tax cut.<\/p>\nCaption: NEPOTIST
\nas the latest of a LONG line of wealthy pundits, i KNOW success is created by MERIT!<\/p>\nCaption: THE APOSTLE
\nExalted guy with hands together as if praying: we just need to TRUST that the MAGIC of the MARKET will make everything work out! that’s why it’s MAGIC!<\/p>\nCaption: ATLAS
\nManically grinning man with messy hair, sitting with his hands on his computer keyboard: someday me and my friends will QUIT updating our blogs and THE ECONOMY WILL COLLAPSE!<\/p>\nCaption: CONSISTENT
\nIntense, woodpecker-looking man: stocks were UP, so i said: CUT TAXES! then stocks went down, so i said: CUT TAXES! i just stubbed my toe! CUT TAXES!<\/p>\nCaption: THE HISTORIAN
\nMan with big glasses and big grin, reading book: I’ve read summaries of the federalist papers MANY times, so I KNOW the framers share my views about EVERYTHING!<\/p>\nCaption: GUNNER JOE
\nMan holding two handguns up: there are only TWO kinds of people in the world: GUN OWNERS and SHEEP! and sheep aren’t really people.<\/p>\nCaption: BIZARRELY HYPOCRITICAL
\nMan with arms crossed: government should stay OUT of our personal lives! except for women’s uteruses, where government BELONGS!<\/p>\nCaption: BRIEFLY TEMPTING
\nBalding man in hoodie: the war on drugs is RIDICULOUS! end police abuse! #%^@! the war!<\/p>\nCaption: WHITEY
\nBalding man in black vest and black tie: i DO think it’s a TERRIBLE affront to liberty if restaurants HAVE to serve blacks! how is THAT racist?<\/p>\nCaption: MISSIONARY
\nMan holding out copy of Ayn Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged,” with wide eyes and bags under his eyes:YOU MUST READ THIS!<\/p>\nCaption: CAVEAT EMPTOR
\nCheerful man about to eat hot dog: no need for a nanny state! i can test my OWN food for botulism!<\/p>\nCaption: STONED
\nWords coming up from somewhere below the bottom of the panel: hee hee hee<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Click on the cartoon to see it bigger. (Much more legible that way.) Script: TITLE: The 24 Types of Libertarian Balding white guy: no fair oversimplifying our simplistic philosophy! Caption: NAIVE Happy guy with goatee: if the government would DISAPPEAR, … Continue reading