{"id":13374,"date":"2011-06-04T14:37:14","date_gmt":"2011-06-04T21:37:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.amptoons.com\/blog\/?p=13374"},"modified":"2011-06-04T14:40:16","modified_gmt":"2011-06-04T21:40:16","slug":"sweet-poetry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/?p=13374","title":{"rendered":"Sweet Poetry"},"content":{"rendered":"

Over at Manboobz, David summarizes a Spearhead discussion<\/a> which concludes that women simply can’t write poetry as well as men.<\/p>\n

In the thread, some commenters began writing poetry about MRA ideologies. I decided to take it a step further and pen a few famous poems as if they had been written by MRAs.<\/p>\n

The Red Indignity<\/b><\/p>\n

so much depends
\nupon<\/p>\n

a lonely boy
\ninside<\/p>\n

a rising elevator
\ndamp<\/p>\n

from girl\u2019s disdainful
\nspit<\/p>\n

This is just to say<\/b><\/p>\n

we have eaten
\nthe plums
\nthat were in
\nthe icebox<\/p>\n

and which
\nyou were probably
\nsaving
\nfor breakfast<\/p>\n

we wanted
\nso we took
\n\u2018cuz that\u2019s how girls
\nroll<\/p>\n

Beta<\/b><\/p>\n

Because I could not stop for Beta,
\nHe kindly stopped for me;
\nThat\u2019s what a girl expects from men\u2013
\nConsummate chivalry.
\nHe gave a rose, he bought my lunch,
\nAnd showered me with cash.
\nMy days became sweet leisure, too,
\nBon-bons and watching MASH.<\/p>\n

We passed date one, that night he strove
\nto rein in his desire;
\nWe passed date two, though yearning built
\nto remove my underwire.<\/p>\n

I was a ware he\u2019d purchased,
\nyet his sampling was delayed.
\nHe ached to strip my flimsy gown,
\nto at last get fucking laid.<\/p>\n

Third date, we paused before his door,
\nhis swelling clearly ripe;
\nHe\u2019d done with waiting gently for
\nmy lips to smoke his pipe.<\/p>\n

Upon the ground, we wrangled
\ntil he overcame my moue.
\nBut victory belonged to me:
\nhis child support is due.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Over at Manboobz, David summarizes a Spearhead discussion which concludes that women simply can’t write poetry as well as men. In the thread, some commenters began writing poetry about MRA ideologies. I decided to take it a step further and … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13374","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13374","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13374"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13374\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13376,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13374\/revisions\/13376"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13374"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13374"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13374"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}