{"id":13750,"date":"2011-07-11T15:12:17","date_gmt":"2011-07-11T22:12:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.amptoons.com\/blog\/?p=13750"},"modified":"2011-07-11T15:12:17","modified_gmt":"2011-07-11T22:12:17","slug":"dudley-clendinen-on-dying-and-on-choosing-not-to-extend-his-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/?p=13750","title":{"rendered":"Dudley Clendinen on dying and on choosing not to extend his life"},"content":{"rendered":"

Writer Dudley Clendinen is dying of Lou Gehrig’s Disease, or “Lou” as he calls it. He’s written an excellent short essay<\/a> about the experience of dying, and on his decision to not extend his life.<\/p>\n

Here’s a sample from his essay, but I’d recommend reading the whole thing.<\/p>\n

I spent hundreds of days at Mother\u2019s side, holding her hand, trying to tell her funny stories. She was being bathed and diapered and dressed and fed, and for the last several years, she looked at me, her only son, as she might have at a passing cloud.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want that experience for Whitney \u2014 nor for anyone who loves me. Lingering would be a colossal waste of love and money.<\/p>\n

If I choose to have the tracheotomy that I will need in the next several months to avoid choking and perhaps dying of aspiration pneumonia, the respirator and the staff and support system necessary to maintain me will easily cost half a million dollars a year. Whose half a million, I don\u2019t know.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d rather die. I respect the wishes of people who want to live as long as they can. But I would like the same respect for those of us who decide \u2014 rationally \u2014 not to. I\u2019ve done my homework. I have a plan. If I get pneumonia, I\u2019ll let it snuff me out. If not, there are those other ways. I just have to act while my hands still work: the gun, narcotics, sharp blades, a plastic bag, a fast car, over-the-counter drugs, oleander tea (the polite Southern way), carbon monoxide, even helium. That would give me a really funny voice at the end.<\/p>\n

I have found the way. Not a gun. A way that\u2019s quiet and calm.<\/p>\n

Knowing that comforts me. I don\u2019t worry about fatty foods anymore. I don\u2019t worry about having enough money to grow old. I\u2019m not going to grow old.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m having a wonderful time.<\/p>\n

I have a bright, beautiful, talented daughter who lives close by, the gift of my life. I don\u2019t know if she approves. But she understands. Leaving her is the one thing I hate. But all I can do is to give her a daddy who was vital to the end, and knew when to leave.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

On a similar subject, I’d recommend reading novelist Terry Pratchett’s essay about his own decision<\/a> to “live in hope that I can jump before I’m pushed.” (The link appears to be an article about Pratchett’s decision, but if you scroll down you’ll come to Pratchett’s complete essay.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Writer Dudley Clendinen is dying of Lou Gehrig’s Disease, or “Lou” as he calls it. He’s written an excellent short essay about the experience of dying, and on his decision to not extend his life. Here’s a sample from his … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13750","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-health-care-and-related-issues"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13750","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13750"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13750\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13751,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13750\/revisions\/13751"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13750"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13750"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13750"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}