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<\/a><\/center><\/p>\nAt a conservative conference this week, Marco Rubio repeated a frequent complaint:<\/p>\n
Just because I believe that states should have the right to define marriage in the traditional way does not make me a bigot.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
The comments of ThinkProgress<\/a> are full of readers saying “Actually, yes, it does make you a bigot” and similar comments. Meanwhile, right-wing blogger Denny Burk worries <\/a>that the comment indicates that Rubio “is beating a retreat” on same-sex marriage.<\/p>\n
My response:<\/p>\n
1) It would be a miracle if any American of my own and Marco Rubio’s generation (or earlier generations) was not <\/em>a bigot, in the sense of harboring prejudices against lesbians and gay men. We were raised in an enormously homophobic culture, and it’s unrealistic to think that had no effect on us. It would be like living your whole life in an ocean but claiming to have never once gotten wet. <\/p>\n
2) Respecting Marco (or anyone else) does not require imagining that they are magically free of all prejudice and all vestiges of the culture they were raised in.<\/p>\n
3) I realize that Marco, and other conservatives, may have some other theory of bigotry. I’m willing to discuss this.<\/p>\n
4) The implicit demand that we consider Marco (and other conservatives, since Marco is not at all the only person to make this demand) to be completely 100% bigotry-free, or else we are incivil scoundrels who are proven unwilling to have a civil, respectful discussion, is unreasonable. It requires us (“us” in this case being people who think like me) to completely concede to the conservative view of bigotry before any discussion even begins.<\/p>\n
5) I do think that opposing marriage equality is a bigoted policy, in that it is a policy that cannot be justified without at least implicitly treating same-sex couples as if their lives, goals, and families are of secondary importance.<\/p>\n
But that doesn’t mean that I think those who endorse marriage equality are bad human beings. I think they’re mistaken, but who doesn’t make mistakes? (Indeed, since they disagree with me, they presumably also think I’m mistaken.)<\/p>\n
6) None of this is to deny that some folks on the pro-SSM side demonize our opponents. This happens. (On both sides, by the way). In some cases, what’s going on is well-justified anger, especially from folks who are themselves lesbian, gay or bi. In some cases, especially among straights, I think there’s some moral grandstanding going on. (Again, on both sides).<\/p>\n
But as a movement, we’d be wrong to write off SSM opponents as lost causes. The coming pro-SSM majority includes many people who are currently opposed to same-sex marriage. When you look at the speed of changing American opinion, it’s an unavoidable conclusion that every year, more SSM opponents become allies. <\/p>\n
I think that’s incredibly cheering. It shows that there are lots of same-sex marriage opponents who are not driven by hate, who are not implacably opposed to anything that makes lgb people happy, and who do find our side’s arguments about fairness and equal treatment compelling. <\/p>\n
They just need time. They were raised in a homophobic society, just like all of us. Thinking in a new way takes time<\/em>. Realizing that something that was an unremarked and unremarkable status quo<\/em> when we grew up is, in fact, unsustainable and unfair, takes time<\/em>. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
At a conservative conference this week, Marco Rubio repeated a frequent complaint: Just because I believe that states should have the right to define marriage in the traditional way does not make me a bigot. The comments of ThinkProgress are … Continue reading