{"id":1964,"date":"2005-11-18T00:25:16","date_gmt":"2005-11-18T07:25:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.amptoons.com\/blog\/archives\/2005\/11\/18\/study-abusers-give-flowers-more-often\/"},"modified":"2005-11-18T00:25:16","modified_gmt":"2005-11-18T07:25:16","slug":"study-abusers-give-flowers-more-often","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/?p=1964","title":{"rendered":"Study: Abusers Give Flowers More Often"},"content":{"rendered":"

A new study (actually, three linked studies) in the academic journal Personal Relationships<\/em><\/a> found that men who give flowers are also more likely to be abusers. Put another way, men who abuse their wives or girlfriends also have to work harder at convincing their wives or girlfriends to stay.<\/p>\n

“The authors also found that acts of vigilance — such as dropping by unexpectedly to see what partners were doing, and calling to make sure a partner was where she said she would be — were the clearest predictors of violence, followed by acts of emotional manipulation.”\n\n

From the November 4 issue of Chronicle of Higher Education<\/em>:<\/p>\n

The more often men give flowers to their lovers, or engage in other “mate-retention behaviors” such as vigilance or emotional manipulation, the more often they hit them.<\/p>\n

That is the chilling finding of a study by Todd K. Shackelford, an associate professor of psychology at Florida Atlantic University, and five colleagues. They found that the more men do things to dissuade their partners from leaving them, the more likely they are to be violent. “Although many mate-retention behaviors appear to be innocuous romantic gestures (e.g., displaying resources, giving flowers), some may be harbingers of violence,” the authors write.<\/p>\n

The researchers surveyed 461 men, 560 women, and 107 couples about their use or experience of mate-retention behaviors and violence toward women. In each group, the researchers found greater violence in men who engaged in more of the retention behaviors.<\/p>\n

The authors also found that acts of vigilance — such as dropping by unexpectedly to see what partners were doing, and calling to make sure a partner was where she said she would be — were the clearest predictors of violence, followed by acts of emotional manipulation. Vigilant acts, they note, are examples of “autonomy-limiting behaviors” that are “motivated by male sexual proprietariness and designed to restrict women’s sexual autonomy.” Earlier research, they say, showed that 40 percent of women with highly vigilant partners also reported being seriously assaulted by their partners. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Emotional manipulation included things such as ”He told her he would \u0002die\u0001 if she ever left” and ”He pleaded that he could not live without her.”<\/p>\n

Another predictive factor was when a man tried to dominate all of a woman’s time:<\/p>\n

Monopolization of Time also was a highly ranked predictor of violence across the three studies. Example acts included in this tactic are ”He spent all his free time with her so that she could not meet anyone else” and ”He would not let her go out without him.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So, basically, if your boyfriend wants to monopolize your time, constantly checks up on you to know where you are, and says he’ll die without you – then maybe you should run.<\/p>\n

UPDATE<\/strong>: From the comments, Bean writes:<\/p>\n

As many of you reading this blog know, I work in a DV shelter. So, today I was with a woman and her 2 children, taking them on an errand. While we were out, her youngest son got angry. He started kicking, hitting, biting, scratching and yelling … all directed at his mom. I took him outside and had a talk with him about how it’s ok to be angry, but not ok to hurt people.<\/p>\n

Eventually, he calmed down and I asked him if he would apologize to his mom. He said ok, and ran over to the grass and picked some dandelions. He walked over to his mom and said he was sorry and handed her the flowers.<\/p>\n

Thinking about this thread, it took all of my will power not to start laughing right then and there. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/pracut>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A new study (actually, three linked studies) in the academic journal Personal Relationships found that men who give flowers are also more likely to be abusers. Put another way, men who abuse their wives or girlfriends also have to work … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[96],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1964","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rape-intimate-violence-related-issues"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1964","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1964"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1964\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1964"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1964"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1964"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}