{"id":24501,"date":"2018-11-26T19:42:48","date_gmt":"2018-11-27T03:42:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/?p=24501"},"modified":"2018-11-27T11:07:16","modified_gmt":"2018-11-27T19:07:16","slug":"top-ten-border-patrol-excuses-for-tear-gassing-babies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/?p=24501","title":{"rendered":"Top Ten Border Patrol Excuses For Tear Gassing Babies"},"content":{"rendered":"

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If you enjoy these cartoons, please support my Patreon<\/a>. A $1 pledge really matters to me.<\/p>\n

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This is actually a many-years-old comic, originally drawn in response to a baby being peppersprayed by cops at a protest in Portland. (I think this was published in Willamette Week<\/em>, a Portland weekly newspaper).<\/p>\n

I never reprinted or reposted this cartoon, because what’s the point? That sort of thing certainly wouldn’t happen again, right?<\/p>\n

Aaargh<\/a>. I really would have preferred that this cartoon never be current again. (Full disclosure: I don’t know if any actual babies were tear gassed, but small children certainly were.)<\/p>\n

I took the old cartoon, changed the uniforms from police blue to border patrol green, and relettered a few panels to make it about border patrol agents rather than cops. Frustratingly, most of the panels required no change at all, other than the colors.<\/p>\n

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Transcript of Cartoon<\/strong><\/p>\n

This cartoon has eleven panels, the first of which is a title panel.<\/p>\n

PANEL 1
\nThis panel shows A baby crying and a nearby Border Patrol Agent hitting a club into one palm, speaking sternly to the baby. A major portion of the panel is taken up by a caption.
\nCAPTION: TOP TEN BORDER PATROL EXCUSES FOR TEAR GASSING BABIES
\nBABY: Waaah!
\nAGENT: Stop being such a baby about it!<\/p>\n

PANEL 2
\nAn agent speaks directly to the reader, one hand raised in an “explaining” gesture.
\nCAPTION: TEN: Wanted to be fair.
\nAGENT: If I only brutalized adults, that would be discrimination!<\/p>\n

PANEL 3
\nA baby in a polka dot onesie is standing, holding out its hands for balance, and smiling as it speaks.
\nCAPTION: NINE: Baby was giving agents lip.
\nBABY: Ga goo! Ga fascist pigs! Aa!<\/p>\n

PANEL 4
\nA border patrol agent walks away from the viewer, hands behind his back, whistling.
\nCAPTION: EIGHT: Just following orders.<\/p>\n

PANEL 5
\nA baby in a striped onsie is smiling, trying to balance on its feet, and holding a big black ball-shaped bomb with a fuse going “ssssss” in one hand.
\nCAPTION: SEVEN: It was a terrorist baby!
\nBABY: Baby wuvs Al Qaeda!<\/p>\n

PANEL 6
\nA border patrol agent is holding one hand to his mouth, in a “whoops” gesture.
\nCAPTION: SIX: Agent mistook tear gas for a nice lollipop.
\nAGENT: Oopsie!<\/p>\n

PANEL 7
\nA border patrol agent speaks directly to the readers, looking stern, shrugging.
\nCAPTION: FIVE: Just doesn’t like babies.
\nAGENT: They smell funny.<\/p>\n

PANEL 8
\nA baby in a pink onesie is lying on a polka-dot blanket. The baby is wearing a shade visor with a paper that says “press” in it, and is holding a notebook in one hand and a pen in the other.
\nCAPTION: FOUR: Baby was a reporter.<\/p>\n

PANEL 9
\nA border patrol agent poses, one hand’s fingers pressed to his chest, like a pretentious arteest.
\nCAPTION: THREE: Throwing kids in cells has grown stale.
\nAGENT: I need room for growth!<\/p>\n

PANEL 10
\nA baby, scowling, points a gun aggressively.
\nCAPTION: TWO: Baby gave agents no choice!
\nBABY: Eat hot lead, fascists!<\/p>\n

PANEL 11
\nA border agent, arms crossed, eyes covered by the bill of his cap, talks to the readers without deigning to look at us.
\nCAPTION: And the number one excuse is…
\nAGENT: What makes you think we NEED an excuse?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you enjoy these cartoons, please support my Patreon. A $1 pledge really matters to me. This is actually a many-years-old comic, originally drawn in response to a baby being peppersprayed by cops at a protest in Portland. (I think … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,108],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24501","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cartooning-comics","category-immigration-migrant-rights-etc"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24501","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=24501"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24501\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24511,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24501\/revisions\/24511"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=24501"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=24501"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=24501"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}