{"id":24717,"date":"2019-02-14T09:38:06","date_gmt":"2019-02-14T17:38:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/rachelswirsky.com\/?p=2090"},"modified":"2019-02-14T09:38:06","modified_gmt":"2019-02-14T17:38:06","slug":"silly-interview-with-krystal-claxton-universes-foremost-expert-on-u-s-geography","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/?p=24717","title":{"rendered":"Silly Interview with Krystal Claxton, Universe\u2019s Foremost Expert on U.S. Geography"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n
\n

(This interview was originally posted on my Patreon<\/a>. Thank you, patrons!<\/em>)<\/p>\n

A few years ago, I put together some silly interviews full of silly questions for my fellow authors. A number of them fell through the publication cracks then, so I’m running them now with updates.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

(Krystal Claxton)<\/a><\/p>\n

RS:\u00a0Heinlein\u2019s rules! In your bio itself, you mention that you \u201cfrequently disobeys Heinlein\u2019s Rules.\u201d Me, too. Which ones do you disobey most? Do any of them get on your nerves and jump up and down?<\/strong><\/p>\n

KC: I\u2019m pretty bad at following Rule #3 \u201crefrain from rewriting.\u201d I tend to both write out of order and write way, way too many words for a given story and both of these leave me with an inclination for tinkering.<\/p>\n

But let\u2019s be honest. We all know #1 \u201cYou must write\u201d is hardest. That blank page. The mocking blink of the cursor. A notebook full of endless blue college rule. We\u2019ve seen the end and it\u2019s an empty text file you were\u00a0sure\u00a0had something in it, berating you while you stand on the stage in the high school cafetorium. In your underwear.<\/p>\n

KC2019: I overcame my difficulty with Rule 1 by instituting a policy of writing 100 words (or more, if inclined) every day. My longest streak to date is 572 days. I no longer fear a blank page, but I do still break Heinlein’s Rules.<\/em><\/p>\n

There’s something kind of dickish about them despite the pithiness that made them stick. I’ve become wary of any advice that dictates One True Process and I’m afraid that Rules 3 and 5 aren’t viable for everyone. Rewrite if it’s part of your process. Don’t send out a story that you feel is no longer indicative of your ability or personal values. Even Rule 4 sounds iffy to me. Sometimes it’s good to write for yourself. Practice and love will benefit your more commercial endeavours.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

RS: Heh, \u201crefrain from rewriting\u201d is definitely one I disobey. But I admit\u00a0it\u2019s the one I was thinking about when I asked if any of them get on your nerves.\u00a0It gets on mine. \"\ud83d\ude09\"<\/strong><\/p>\n

Moving on\u2013apparently, you were \u201cborn with a miscalibrated sense of humor.\u201d So\u2013I must ask\u2013what is your favorite joke?<\/strong><\/p>\n

KC: My biggest hurdle in telling a joke is remembering to provide context.\u00a0I love a joke that takes two hours to set up. For instance, there\u2019s an episode of Futurama \u201cHow Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back\u201d that is essentially 22 minutes of setting Bender up to tell this joke:<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cI am Bender. Please insert girder.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Hilarious, right?<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll supply you with some of my favorite jokes, but since I don\u2019t want to take up your whole day, I can\u2019t promise they\u2019ll make sense:<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cDo you like bread?\u201d -Eddie Izzard
\n\u201cWrite it or I\u2019ll break it off!\u201d -Fletcher Reede
\n\u201cAnd this was odd, because, you know,
\nThey hadn\u2019t any feet.\u201d -Lewis Caroll<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

KC2019: Heh, those are still great jokes. Have you seen The Good Place? COMEDY GOLD. New favorites:
\n<\/em>https:\/\/giphy.com\/gifs\/thegoodplace-season-2-nbc-3ohs7Yw7tA7JwHppF6<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

And, obviously:
\n<\/em>https:\/\/media.giphy.com\/media\/3mJq8vQMfgIigg0Nht\/giphy.gif<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

RS:\u00a0You lived in nine states before you turned thirteen, which you write caused you to have \u201can oscillating accent.\u201d What extremes does it oscillate between?<\/strong><\/p>\n

KC: Most oscillation occurs primarily between minute variations of Southern, though here\u2019s a sentence you might reasonably expect to hear me say: \u201cI\u2019m fixin\u2019 to toss these clothes in the warsher then put on my sneakers and go for a soda.\u201d<\/p>\n

(Texas, Boston, South Florida, EVERYWHERE BECAUSE IT\u2019S CALLED SODA KTHX)<\/p>\n

RS:\u00a0Per above, are you really good at US geography?<\/strong><\/p>\n

KC:<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Uhh. Yes. I\u2019m so fantastic at Geography that it would blow your mind. Which is why it\u2019s imperative that you never ask me to prove how awesome I am at Geography.\u00a0For your own safety.<\/p>\n

KC2019: Still don’t ask.<\/em><\/p>\n

RS:\u00a0What research topic has caught your attention just now?<\/strong><\/p>\n

KC: Techniques for sewing a Blind Hem\/Slip Stitch with a sewing machine. Coffee brewing and cultivation. How to write good sex scenes. Myself for this interview.<\/p>\n

KC2019: Reader, I decided on black tea instead of coffee.<\/em><\/p>\n

RS:\u00a0A lot of your short stories have been podcast. What\u2019s rewarding about having fiction out in audio form?<\/strong><\/p>\n

KC: The indiscriminate tastes of podcast editors! No, no, I kid. Initially I was just looking for reprint markets and podcasts tend to be very open to previously-published works. Then Tina Connolly podcasted one of my stories on\u00a0Toasted Cake and I discovered that it\u2019s unbelievably fun to hear someone else read the words I arranged. Writing is just repackaging a free, abundant resource (words) into new shapes that you can con people into paying for. With podcasting those same words I arranged take on new life every time someone performs them. It\u2019s fairly mind-blowing to observe how differently the story is in someone else\u2019s head.<\/p>\n

KC2019: BWHAHAHAHA. Oh dramatic irony of ironies. I’m now the special guest co-editor of PodCastle’s <\/em>Artemis Rising<\/em><\/a> 5 coming out in March!<\/em><\/p>\n

RS:\u00a0What\u2019s upcoming for you? Please share!<\/strong><\/p>\n

KC: Speaking of podcasts.<\/p>\n

My stories \u201cPlanar Ghosts\u201d and \u201cHeartless\u201d are set to appear in\u00a0Cast of Wonders\u00a0and\u00a0Far Fetched Fables, respectively\u00a0later this year (KC2019: “Planar Ghosts” was a 2016 CoW staff pick ^_^)<\/em>. Once these come out, everything I\u2019ve ever published will have also been podcast. So that\u2019s neat.<\/p>\n

In \u201cBitter Remedy<\/a>\u201d the titular character is a second-class superheroine with a secret: she\u2019s also a mother. It\u2019s just been republished by\u00a0StarShipSofa\u00a0with\u00a0narration by Karen Bovenmyer and a feature on genre history from Dr. Amy H. Sturgis.<\/p>\n

KC2019: Sadly, despite best laid plans at time of writing, I have stories published that have not been podcast… But that’s because I published new stories! Plot twist!<\/em><\/p>\n

“Presently Me” is currently available to subscribers in <\/em>Factor Four’s Issue 1<\/em><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

“Life, hacked” is up to read for free at <\/em>Nature: Futures<\/em><\/a>. (Though I must suggest Nature’s <\/em>podcast version<\/em><\/a> performed by\u00a0Shamini Bundell, also free.)<\/em><\/p>\n

And “900 Seconds of Cognizance And Counting” is free to read in\u00a0<\/em>Factor Four Magazine<\/em><\/a>\u00a0Issue 4.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(This interview was originally posted on my Patreon. Thank you, patrons!) A few years ago, I put together some silly interviews full of silly questions for my fellow authors. A number of them fell through the publication cracks then, so … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a> Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24717","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24717","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=24717"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24717\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24718,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24717\/revisions\/24718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=24717"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=24717"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=24717"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}