{"id":27875,"date":"2026-08-01T08:58:17","date_gmt":"2026-08-01T15:58:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/?p=27875"},"modified":"2026-08-01T08:58:17","modified_gmt":"2026-08-01T15:58:17","slug":"a-brief-history-of-brief-wars","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/?p=27875","title":{"rendered":"A Brief History of Brief Wars"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Wow, did this cartoon take forever to make!<\/p>\n

So why did it take so long?<\/p>\n

First of all, history-based cartoons always take more time to research. But the research was really fruitful, because I found quotes that let me arrange the war predictions as a series of ever-shrinking time frames \u2014 weeks, days, an hour \u2014 which is the sort of thing that delights me.<\/p>\n

(Scroll to the bottom of this post to read the quotes I paraphrased in this cartoon.)<\/p>\n

Second, SO MANY CARICATURES! A few years ago, I would have tried to recruit Kevin Moore or Becky to draw it for me, because I would have been intimidated by the caricatures. But I\u2019ve gotten a lot more confident with caricature \u2014 or at least, more confident that readers are willing to accept less-than-stellar ones. And it’s fun!<\/p>\n

The most difficult caricature in this cartoon was one most readers won’t notice: The tiny Alan Alda on the MASH lunchbox in panel two, which I redid four times before drawing something I could live with. This supports my theory that exceptionally good-looking people are the hardest to caricature.<\/p>\n

Third, Rachel Swirsky and I are currently working on a script for a new Wings of Fire<\/em> graphic novel, which cuts into the time I can spend drawing cartoons. (Bright side: New Wings of Fire<\/em> graphic novel!)<\/p>\n

And fourth, the aforementioned vacation. As I write this, I’m visiting my family. Which is lovely, of course (and I’m not just saying that because my Mom will read this). But that meant taking a day and a half off for traveling.<\/p>\n

Fifth and finally, there’s lots of chicken fat in this one! Which always slows me down. But it’s totally worth the time.<\/p>\n

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TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON<\/h1>\n

This cartoon has six panels. Each panel shows a powerful leader early in a war.<\/p>\n

Panel 1<\/strong><\/p>\n

A smiling King George III sits at a fancy writing desk, feather quill in hand.<\/p>\n

CAPTION: King George III. November 1776.<\/p>\n

KING GEORGE: We\u2019ve taken the city of New York! The rebel army will surely quit soon!<\/p>\n

CAPTION: All dialogue paraphrased from real statements.<\/p>\n

Panel 2<\/strong><\/p>\n

General MacArthur, seen from behind, stands admiring himself in a mirror, grinning around his famous corncob pipe.<\/p>\n

CAPTION: General MacArthur. November 1950.<\/p>\n

MACARTHUR: Our troops in Korea will be home by Christmas!<\/p>\n

Panel 3<\/strong><\/p>\n

Vice President Dick Cheney, grinning broadly, sits in an office.<\/p>\n

CAPTION: Vice President Cheney. March 2003.<\/p>\n

CHENEY: Iraq will take weeks, not months.<\/p>\n

Panel 4<\/strong><\/p>\n

On a Fox News TV broadcast, President Obama smiles while holding up a forefinger.<\/p>\n

CAPTION: President Obama. March 2011.<\/p>\n

OBAMA: Libya will take days, not weeks.<\/p>\n

Panel 5<\/strong><\/p>\n

President Trump sits in bed, wearing pajamas and tapping on his phone.<\/p>\n

CAPTION: President Trump. March 2026.<\/p>\n

TRUMP: We won! In the first hour it was over!<\/p>\n

Panel 6<\/strong><\/p>\n

AI President Lincoln, a cartoon Abraham Lincoln head on a round video screen, held suspended in the air with tubes, is speaking in front of a podium.<\/p>\n

CAPTION: AI President Lincoln. May 2045.<\/p>\n

AI PRESIDENT LINCOLN: The war on Canada will be over fifteen minutes before it begins!<\/p>\n

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Chicken fat watch<\/h2>\n

In the King George panel, a bottle is labeled “Royal Brain Tonic. Contains arsenic and mercury.” A strange tentacle is reaching up to the window. The note George is writing says “I have no idea what,” an allusion to my brain drawing a blank when it was time to fill that in. A crown is hanging on a coat rack. The dog is wearing a peruke (aka a curly white wig). There’s a framed portrait of Lucy from “Peanuts,” wearing a crown.<\/p>\n

In the MacArthur panel, MacArthur is admiring himself in the mirror (MacArthur was famously an egotist). A “MASH” lunchbox has a picture of Hawkeye holding a cocktail. The bird on MacArthur\u2019s hat is holding some marijuana and a missile. There\u2019s a baseball above its head, and the ribbon it\u2019s holding says \u201cMost Overdone Hat.\u201d<\/p>\n

In the Cheney panel, there\u2019s a trophy labeled Best Sneer 2003. A framed note says: Dear Dicky, please don\u2019t shoot me in my face and then make me apologize. Love, Harry.<\/em><\/p>\n

In the Obama panel, the Fox News logo actually says “New Foxes.” The chyron says “Obama declared king of snobs,” and the second line says “fam tortures cartoonist with incessant sports TV.” On the wall in the background is a basketball hoop, and a framed Nobel Peace Prize, labeled “Presented to Barack Obama in recognition of his achievements in not being George Bush.” A mouse in the foreground is reading “The Cider Mouse Rules.”<\/p>\n

In the Trump panel, a huge container on the nightstand is labeled “Tub o\u2019 Orange: executive face goop.” Trump’s pajamas are covered with his “T” logo, which is also on his pillow. There’s a framed picture of Greenland inside a heart. There’s a framed print of Trump’s sketch of a woman’s nude torso (which he infamously sent to Jeffrey Epstein). A note lying on the bed says “Dear Don, you are the GREATEST smartest strongest leader EVER! Yrs, Don.” There’s a hole in the wall near the floor, and we can see an eye peering out.<\/p>\n

In the AI Lincoln panel, protesters hold signs saying “Don\u2019t blame me, I voted for AI Nixon” and “Unfair, Unreal, Unplug.” The podium has a seal with the X (formerly Twitter) logo and the words Formerly Known As The United States of America. The AI Lincoln on the screen is not wearing a hat, but a stovepipe hat is perched atop the screen.<\/p>\n

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RECEIPTS<\/h1>\n

Panel One: In a letter to Lord North, dated November 4, 1776, King George III wrote<\/a>:<\/p>\n

Nothing can have been better planned, nor with more alacrity executed, than the taking of the city of New York, and I trust the rebell [sic] army will soon be dispersed.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Panel Two: On November 28, 1950, General MacArthur wrote<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\u201cYou tell the boys that when they get to the Yalu River they are going home. I want to make good on my statement that they are going to eat Christmas dinner at home.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Panel Three: On March 16, 2003, appearing on “Face the Nation,” Cheney was asked if he thought the war would be “a long war or a short war?” Cheney said it <\/a>would go “relatively quickly.” Pressed for more specifics, Cheney said \u201cWeeks rather than months.\u201d<\/p>\n

Panel Four: From ABC News, March 18, 2011:<\/a><\/p>\n

President Obama<\/a> told a bipartisan group of members of Congress today that he expects the U.S. would be actively involved in any military action against Libya for “days, not weeks<\/a>,” after which he said the U.S. would take more of a supporting role, sources tell ABC News.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Panel Five: In a speech in Kentucky on March 11, 2026, Trump said<\/a>:<\/p>\n

Let me tell you, we’ve won. You know, you never like to say too early you won. We won. We won the — in the first hour, it was over. We won.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

No receipts for panel six. :-p<\/p>\n

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A Brief History of Brief Wars | Barry Deutsch on Patreon<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Wow, did this cartoon take forever to make! So why did it take so long? First of all, history-based cartoons always take more time to research. But the research was really fruitful, because I found quotes that let me arrange … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,41,42,46],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27875","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cartooning-comics","category-iran-international-issues","category-iraq","category-korea"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27875","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=27875"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27875\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27877,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27875\/revisions\/27877"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=27875"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=27875"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=27875"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}