{"id":4662,"date":"2008-08-12T13:23:36","date_gmt":"2008-08-12T20:43:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.amptoons.com\/blog\/archives\/2008\/08\/12\/surely-you-cant-be-serious\/"},"modified":"2008-08-12T13:23:36","modified_gmt":"2008-08-12T20:43:24","slug":"surely-you-cant-be-serious","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/?p=4662","title":{"rendered":"Surely You Can't be Serious!"},"content":{"rendered":"

This movie sounds like the worst movie ever<\/a>. Beyond Showgirls<\/em><\/a> bad. Beyond Gigli<\/em><\/a> bad. Beyond even Can\u2019t Stop the Music<\/em><\/a> bad, and that\u2019s a movie starring Bruce Jenner <\/em>and The Village People<\/em>. I mean, for God\u2019s sake, David Zucker, why<\/em>? You made Airplane!<\/a> <\/em>and The Kentucky Fried Movie<\/em>. I mean, for God’s sake, David Zucker, why<\/em>? You made Airplane!<\/a> <\/em>and The Kentucky Fried Movie<\/em>. I know, the whole Meet the Spartans<\/em><\/a> nadir your genre has fallen to may have driven you insane (then again, it’s partly your fault<\/a>, isn’t it?) but still, why would you make An American Carol<\/em><\/a>, a movie that sounds like a comedy penned by Sean Hannity, only not as subtle?<\/p>\n

Whew. Okay, relax. Maybe I’m being unfair. It’s a conservative comedy, and that usually ends up as The Half Hour News Hour<\/em><\/a>…but Zucker made Police Squad!<\/a> <\/em>He has to be able to make conservative humor funny. Right? Well, let’s see…<\/p>\n

Executive producer Myrna Sokoloff has put together a \u201cpro-soldier, support our troops, pro-America\u201d comedy, which Stephen Hayes previews<\/a> in the new Weekly Standard<\/em>. In it, filmmaker Michael Malone (Kevin \u201cbrother of Chris\u201d Farley) and his organization MoveAlong.org are trying to repeal the Fourth of July when three angels\u2014the Angel of Death, George S. Patton, and George Washington\u2014come to him and convince him to change his ways.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Okay, maybe it could sort of be\u2026<\/p>\n

Fat-assed Malone travels to Cuba, pledges to destroy America, and takes advantage of the invisibility granted by ghost status by grabbing a protestor\u2019s boobs. Bill O\u2019Reilly appears out of nowhere to slap him. \u201cI just like doing that,\u201d he says. Terrorists led by everybody\u2019s favorite pockmarked tough guy Robert Davi bitch that they\u2019re low on suicide bombers (\u201dAll the good ones are gone!\u201d) and all answer to the name Mohammed. In a scene that Sokoloff described, but didn\u2019t bring, Patton and his soldiers storm a courthouse that\u2019s about to remove the Ten Commandments and start opening fire on the people trying to stop them. \u201cYou can\u2019t shoot these people!\u201d Malone says. \u201cThey\u2019re not people!\u201d says Patton. \u201cThey\u2019re the ACLU!\u201d At this point we see that the ACLU members are unkillable George Romero zombies.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Oh. Oh my. Well, maybe it has some redeeming\u2026<\/p>\n

In February, it was reported<\/a> that Kelsey Grammar would be Scrooge in the new movie. He\u2019s actually playing the ghost of George Patton, and Jon Voight is playing George Washington. In a clip we saw, Washington takes Malone to St. Paul\u2019s Cathedral to lecture him on freedom of religion and \u201cfreedom of speech, which you abuse.\u201d Malone is grossed out by dust in the priest\u2019s box, so the doors open onto the smoldering ruins of the World Trade Center. \u201cThis is the dust of 3000 innocent human beings!\u201d bellows Washington. Malone whimpers that he\u2019s just making movies. Washington won\u2019t have it. \u201cIs that what you plan to say on Judgment Day?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat scene,\u201d said Sokoloff, \u201cis hard to put in a comedy. But we had to do it.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Well, yeah. Because comedy is funny, and that\u2019s not funny<\/em>.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not opposed to making fun of liberals. Everybody needs to get their ideas mocked and ridiculed once in a while. But this isn\u2019t humor \u2014 it\u2019s eliminationist fantasy wrapped up in a nice bouquet of 9\/11 fetishization. It\u2019s not funny \u2014 it\u2019s far too serious in its animosity to be funny.<\/p>\n

Good satire is done with a rapier. Zucker used to be able to do good satire. But this isn\u2019t good satire \u2014 it\u2019s being carved with a sledgehammer. The only question is whether, like Manos: The Hand of Fate<\/em><\/a>, it\u2019s so bad it\u2019s good, or whether, like Glitter<\/em><\/a>, it\u2019s merely so bad it\u2019s bad. I\u2019m betting on the latter.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This movie sounds like the worst movie ever. Beyond Showgirls bad. Beyond Gigli bad. Beyond even Can\u2019t Stop the Music bad, and that\u2019s a movie starring Bruce Jenner and The Village People. I mean, for God\u2019s sake, David Zucker, why? … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[102,39,62],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4662","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-conservative-zaniness-right-wingers-etc","category-in-the-news","category-popular-and-unpopular-culture"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4662","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4662"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4662\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4662"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4662"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4662"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}