{"id":4813,"date":"2008-09-17T15:07:13","date_gmt":"2008-09-17T22:27:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.amptoons.com\/blog\/archives\/2008\/09\/17\/roles-at-the-fake-wedding\/"},"modified":"2008-09-17T15:07:13","modified_gmt":"2008-09-17T22:27:01","slug":"roles-at-the-fake-wedding","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/?p=4813","title":{"rendered":"Roles at the Fake Wedding!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here are roles available to be played at the fake wedding<\/a> I and some friends are planning. You can also make up your own role, of course. Remember, it’s this coming Tuesday!<\/p>\n

You can email me<\/a> or leave a comment here to request a role. If you prefer for us to assign you a role, that’s fine; let us know that. But either way, let us know if you’ll be attending, and how many you’ll have with you.<\/p>\n

(If a role is already filled, the person playing the role is listed in bold<\/strong>).<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

WEDDING PARTY<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Very Pregnant Bride: “Margo” (Jenn<\/strong>) Goal: Get married before giving birth.<\/p>\n

Groom: “Michael” (Dylan<\/strong>)<\/p>\n

Wedding Planner (Barry<\/strong>)<\/p>\n

Minister (Jake<\/strong>)<\/p>\n

Maid of Honor. Bride’s best friend from high school. Goal: Upstage Margo to avenge stolen boyfriend in high school.<\/p>\n

Bridesmaid: The Bride’s best friend from college who is a big shot movie producer now. Goal: interview guests to see if they will be the next big star. Secondary goal: impress everyone with all the big name stars they’vve worked with.<\/p>\n

Best Man (Charles<\/strong>). Goal: Keep anyone from figuring out that he’s a time-traveler from the future.<\/p>\n

Groomsman & Bride’s brother (Brad<\/strong>). Goal:Impress as many women as possible with his job as Assistant Manager of the Beaverton Olive Garden<\/p>\n

Competitive Sibling (can be either bridesmaid or groomsman). Goal: To find her or his
\nOne True Soulmate and propose marriage. TONIGHT.<\/p>\n

Ring Bearer<\/p>\n

Flower Girls (Sydney <\/strong>and Maddox<\/strong>) Goal: flowers are pretty.<\/p>\n

PARENTS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Step-Mother of the Bride (who is convinced that the baby is Michael’s and wants the marriage to happen no matter what. Goal: to get her daughter good and hitched.)<\/p>\n

Father of the Bride (Matt<\/strong>) (Goal: Out-macho the groom’s father)<\/p>\n

Mother of the Bride \/ The Doctor. (Emily<\/strong>. Companion: Eppy<\/strong>.) Goal: Tour the quaint customs of 21st century Earth.<\/p>\n

Mother of the Groom (Goal: Find a new boy toy.)<\/p>\n

Father of the Groom (Kip <\/strong>– “Hemingway manqu\u00e9”)<\/p>\n

Groom’s disturbingly young blonde stepmother “Maureen.” (Rachel<\/strong>) Goes by “Mint! ‘Cause I’m so fresh!” Goal: to be “one of the girls.” Gear: lipstick, speed, and a concealed handgun or taser.<\/p>\n

GUESTS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Groom’s “roommate” Troy (Katie<\/strong>)<\/p>\n

Bride’s very critical spinster Aunt (Bean<\/strong>)<\/p>\n

Scientist with white lab coat. Goal: To be asked questions about Science! Must also be ready to do genetic testing on the spot.<\/p>\n

Toastmasters relative. Goal: find some way, any way, to give a speech<\/p>\n

Writer from The Oregonian’s not-very-well-known society column. (Dan<\/strong>). Goal: find a story so compelling s\/he won’t get downsized<\/p>\n

Wedding crasher. Goal: tell as many divergent stories of how they know the bride\/groom as possible without getting caught; sell ’89 Honda Civic.<\/p>\n

Wedding photographer (Rook<\/strong>). Goal: prove to the photography establishment that wedding photos can have artistic merit.
\n(Note<\/strong>: There’s no limit<\/em> on how many competing photographers\/videographers we can have!)<\/p>\n

Friend of the groom who is in charge of controlling the CD player during the wedding processional. His\/her goal: Not to completely screw up the music. Secondary goal: Find a reason that it wasn’t his fault that he screwed up the music.<\/p>\n

Michael’s Only Ex-Girlfriend, From 6th Grade. Goal: find a Real Man.<\/p>\n

Aunt\/Uncle\/Cousin who wants to be a photographer. Goal: To be mistaken for the real photographer, and sabotage them whenever possible.<\/p>\n

Blackmailer who knows that the groom isn’t the real father of the bride’s forthcoming baby. Goal: Isn’t it kind of obvious? This role could also be a bridesmaid or groomsman.<\/p>\n

Uncle of the bride who is in the mafia. Has a bodyguard\/thug with him. Looking to watch out for her best interests. Goal: to let the groom and everyone know that the bride is under his protection. Secondary goal: make deals with ninjas, etc while at the wedding.<\/p>\n

Dog Breeder friend. Goal: Sell as many greyhounds as possible. (Can also be a groomsman, if you’re willing.)<\/p>\n

Bride’s sorority sisters (as many as 3). Goal: Make up for lack of bachelorette party. (Can also be bridesmaids, if you’re willing.)<\/p>\n

Doctor in the house – goal: to be recognized for their brilliance as a Doc. Gear: happens to have a genetic tester kit.<\/p>\n

Cousin of the Bride: huge crush on the best man. goal: take as many pictures of him as possible, whenever possible.<\/p>\n

Uncle of the Bride: thinks the Groom isn’t good enough for his Margo. goal: to get the groom sloshed so he’ll show his true colors.<\/p>\n

Aspiring wedding planner. Goal: To suck up to Barry and steal his secrets. And his job, if possible.<\/p>\n

The groom or brides Civil War Veteran Grandfather (or someone re-enacting the role of the grandfather)<\/p>\n

Infatuated former high school teacher. Goal: rekindle the passion.<\/p>\n

Grade School Friend. Goal: To embarrass the bride\/groom as much as possible with humiliating stories.<\/p>\n

Assassin, or possibly ninja: after the child who is prophesied to be savior of the world.<\/p>\n

Stranger who stumbled in, thinking this was their childhood friend’s funeral. Goal: find a shoulder to cry on<\/p>\n

Cousin who is an Amway sales person: sell, sell, sell<\/p>\n

Person who used to be a mermaid, but gave up her voice to a witch in exchange for being able to walk on land. Goal: To find someone who can undo the witch’s spell and return him\/her to the sea.<\/p>\n

Person who thinks s\/he is a spy. Goal: To find out information — any information — and take copious notes. (Prop required: small
\nlined notepad.)<\/p>\n

Various possible fathers of the child – goal: to be The One. subgoal: convince Margo to come back to him. (Note: This role can be combined with almost any other role.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here are roles available to be played at the fake wedding I and some friends are planning. You can also make up your own role, of course. Remember, it’s this coming Tuesday! You can email me or leave a comment … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[92],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4813","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-whatever"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4813","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4813"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4813\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4813"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4813"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4813"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}