{"id":5157,"date":"2008-10-27T23:28:20","date_gmt":"2008-10-28T06:48:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.amptoons.com\/blog\/?p=5157"},"modified":"2008-10-27T23:28:20","modified_gmt":"2008-10-28T06:48:08","slug":"the-conspiracy-to-steal-our-precious-carbonated-fluids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/?p=5157","title":{"rendered":"The Conspiracy to Steal Our Precious Carbonated Fluids"},"content":{"rendered":"

John Hinderaker may not have been dropped on his head as a child. When they were handing out brains, it’s possible that he didn’t hear “trains” and didn’t say, “No thank you.” It’s entirely within the realm of possibility that when compared to a box of hammers, his IQ is in fact superior.<\/p>\n

But it’s kind of unlikely.<\/p>\n

Tonight, The Blogger Formerly Known as Hindrocket has come up with a conspiracy — a conspiracy linking the nation’s second-largest soft drink manufacturer and Black Muslim Radical Christian Arab Socialist Communist Stalinist Atheist Scary Black Man Barack Obama. Fear the Pepsi Generation<\/a>!<\/p>\n

Advertising Age reports that Pepsi-Cola is launching a new logo as part of a world-wide branding campaign.[…] Here’s the new Pepsi logo:<\/p>\n

\"41-pepsinewlogo-102008.jpg\"<\/a><\/p>\n

So…does that remind you of anything?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Um…the old Pepsi logo, only crappier?<\/p>\n

\n

\"obama661.jpeg\"<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

ZOMG!!!111!!!!1!12!@! Pepsi’s in league with the devil<\/span> Barack Obama!<\/p>\n

Could be an aesthetic coincidence, I suppose.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

No!<\/p>\n

But for those of us old enough to remember the ill-fated Age of Aquarius, it looks like a pathetic attempt to join the Age of Barack.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

But it gets worse. It turns out that Barack Hussein Super-Allah Obama totally used his time machine to go back in time and force Pepsi to adopt this logo years ago:<\/p>\n

\"pepsi1.jpg\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Damn you, Obama! Is there no length you won’t go to in stealing our precious American soft-drink heritage?<\/p>\n

At any rate, John Hinderaker closes by proving, once and for all, that he’s wrong about everything:<\/p>\n

\n

Diet Coke tastes better anyway. Drink it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Diet Coke tastes like evil. Coke Zero? Fine. Original Coke? Great. Vault? The shiznit. But Diet Coke is what pop will taste like in Hell.<\/p>\n

John Hinderaker: He even thinks Diet Coke is potable. Maybe he is a few bricks short of a load after all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

John Hinderaker may not have been dropped on his head as a child. When they were handing out brains, it’s possible that he didn’t hear “trains” and didn’t say, “No thank you.” It’s entirely within the realm of possibility that … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[102],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5157","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-conservative-zaniness-right-wingers-etc"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5157","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5157"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5157\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5157"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5157"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5157"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}