{"id":6124,"date":"2009-01-04T14:10:36","date_gmt":"2009-01-04T21:10:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/barrydeutsch.wordpress.com\/?p=15"},"modified":"2009-01-04T14:10:36","modified_gmt":"2009-01-04T21:10:36","slug":"the-new-yorker-on-nine-easy-steps-to-weight-loss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/?p=6124","title":{"rendered":"The New Yorker on Nine Easy Steps To Weight Loss"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='snap_preview'><\/p>\n<p>Amy Ozols<a href=\"http:\/\/www.newyorker.com\/humor\/2009\/01\/05\/090105sh_shouts_ozols\"> has a weight-loss plan<\/a> for you:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>Step 3: Get rid of your \u201cfat clothes.\u201d Keeping your closet stocked with unflattering garments will only distract you from your quest for a slender body. To complete this step, shred or burn everything in your closet, including any hangers or shelving that a fat person may have touched. Refrain from donating anything to charity, as this could cause underprivileged people to become obese, which would be unsavory and possibly even illegal.<\/p>\n<p>Step 4: Refrain from consuming food.<\/p>\n<p>Step 5: Surround yourself with thin people. This will naturally encourage you to emulate their healthy habits. Weigh your friends on a regular basis, then weigh yourself. Do you have a friend who weighs less than you? If so, consider gastric bypass surgery.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Read the other six steps <a href=\"http:\/\/www.newyorker.com\/humor\/2009\/01\/05\/090105sh_shouts_ozols\">here<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Posted in Fat, fat, and more fat&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<a rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"http:\/\/feeds.wordpress.com\/1.0\/gocomments\/barrydeutsch.wordpress.com\/15\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" src=\"http:\/\/feeds.wordpress.com\/1.0\/comments\/barrydeutsch.wordpress.com\/15\/\" \/><\/a> <a rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"http:\/\/feeds.wordpress.com\/1.0\/godelicious\/barrydeutsch.wordpress.com\/15\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" src=\"http:\/\/feeds.wordpress.com\/1.0\/delicious\/barrydeutsch.wordpress.com\/15\/\" \/><\/a> <a rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"http:\/\/feeds.wordpress.com\/1.0\/gostumble\/barrydeutsch.wordpress.com\/15\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" src=\"http:\/\/feeds.wordpress.com\/1.0\/stumble\/barrydeutsch.wordpress.com\/15\/\" \/><\/a> <a rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"http:\/\/feeds.wordpress.com\/1.0\/godigg\/barrydeutsch.wordpress.com\/15\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" src=\"http:\/\/feeds.wordpress.com\/1.0\/digg\/barrydeutsch.wordpress.com\/15\/\" \/><\/a> <a rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"http:\/\/feeds.wordpress.com\/1.0\/goreddit\/barrydeutsch.wordpress.com\/15\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" src=\"http:\/\/feeds.wordpress.com\/1.0\/reddit\/barrydeutsch.wordpress.com\/15\/\" \/><\/a> <img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" src=\"http:\/\/stats.wordpress.com\/b.gif?host=barrydeutsch.wordpress.com&amp;blog=176430&amp;post=15&amp;subd=barrydeutsch&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1\" \/><\/div>\n<p>Thanks to <a href=\"http:\/\/evasicons.blogspot.com\/\">Eva <\/a>for the link!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Amy Ozols has a weight-loss plan for you:<br \/>\nStep 3: Get rid of your \u201cfat clothes.\u201d Keeping your closet stocked with unflattering garments will only distract you from your quest for a slender body. To complete this step, shred or burn everything in your closet, including any hangers or shelving that a fat person may have [&#8230;] <a href=\"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/?p=6124\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30,128],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6124","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fat-fat-and-more-fat","category-syndicated-feeds"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6124","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6124"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6124\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6124"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6124"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amptoons.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6124"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}