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<\/a><\/p>\nWelcome to your new career with Margaret Goodman Historical Innovations! <\/strong><\/p>\n As a Historic Service Specialist working for Margaret Goodman Historical Innovations, you will not only have the most exciting job in the world, benefits that have often been comparable to the industry standard, and a sense of pride in what you do. You’ll also have the opportunity to work with what Business Innovations Magazine<\/em> called “the most forward-looking and welcoming workplace environment available today.”<\/p>\n Please read this introductory pamphlet carefully. This will help you have a happy and lucrative career with Margaret Goodman Historical Innovations.<\/p>\n It’s all about teamwork.<\/strong><\/p>\n As a member of the Margaret Goodman Historical Innovations<\/strong> team, you will have the opportunity to work in concert with dedicated, fully trained Historic Service Specialists, many of whom are pairs of identical twins. If you dedicate yourself to being a constructive part of your Historical Innovation Team (H.I.T.), you’ll soon have a long string of successful assignments in your employee record, eventually qualifying you for exciting opportunities in self-directed historical innovation. Together with the other members of your H.I.T., you will provide the excellent service and matchless results that are associated worldwide with the name Margaret Goodman.<\/p>\n As a member of the Margaret Goodman Historical Innovations<\/strong> team, you will have the opportunity to experience history as few have ever experienced — as a participant! You and your H.I.T. will actually be embedded in history, meeting famous figures and in the thick of great events! You might bring Napoleon his breakfast, enjoy a romantic moonlit boatride with Cleopatra as your companion, or hand Obama the pen used to sign the Complete And Enduring Freedom Act, in the flickering light of Congress burning!<\/p>\n Naturally, most engagements your H.I.T. will have the opportunity to enjoy won’t be that momentous. But to the eyes of a trained Historic Service Specialist, even the most seemingly bland and mundane of historic moments contains a huge wealth of opportunities for learning, enrichment and advancement!<\/p>\n Frequently Asked Questions.<\/strong><\/p>\n Questions are good! The drive to get questions answered has been the gas fueling the motor of the speedboats of the careers of many of the most successful Historic Service Specialists to work for the Margaret Goodman Historical Innovations<\/strong> team. We encourage all employees to approach their managers with any and all questions during the appropriate time set aside for employee open inquiries, subject to manager availability.<\/p>\n 1. Can I kill Hitler?<\/em><\/p>\n No, you can’t! The nature of the Margaret Goodman Historical Innovations Temporal Replacement Technology (TM) is not compatible with actions that would permanently alter history. Deliberate attempts to reshape history, or even inadvertent acts that would reshape history if not interrupted, will set off an automatic, involuntary return to your original temporal location. Due to the high expense involved, Involuntary Temporal Returns conducted before the successful completion of your H.I.T.’s engagement must be explained to your manager during the appropriate time set aside for managerial directed inquiries, and appropriate actions may be taken in an appropriate manner. Historic Service Specialists who persist in trying to change history even though any such attempt is a totally futile waste of time<\/em>, are subject to employment termination without notice.<\/p>\n As Business Innovations Magazine<\/em> once noted, a successful employee must focus on the goals of her team, not the goals of her self.<\/p>\n 1a. Can I be embedded in myself when I was a child?<\/i><\/p>\n No. It doesn’t seem to be possible to visit any time that is within the lifespan of the oldest living human being.<\/p>\n 1b. Can I be sent to the future<\/i><\/p>\n Despite persistent and unfounded rumors to the contrary, it is not possible for a Historic Service Specialist to visit the future using Margaret Goodman Historical Innovations Temporal Replacement Technology (TM). Any Historic Service Specialist discovered to be spreading these unwarranted rumors may be subject to a managerial directed inquiry or termination of position.<\/p>\n 2. What about stomping on butterflies?<\/em><\/p>\n At one time, scientists believed that even the smallest act of a Historic Service Specialist could cause irrevocable damage to the course of history, for example by accidentally killing a butterfly. It is true that, due to the interconnected nature of all events, the small breeze caused by a butterfly’s wing flapping could lead to enormous events, such as assassinations, hurricanes, and wars. However, it would need to be an almost impossibly well-placed butterfly, and preferably one with a wingspan several miles across. History is actually much studier than it was once thought, and it turns out that the overwhelming majority of living creatures, including butterflies, are historically irrelevant.<\/p>\n However, if by chance you are about to commit a small, inconsequential act that would irrevocably alter history, there is no need for concern. You will merely experience a quick and very possibly painless Involuntary Temporal Return before your history-destroying act takes place. (See above note about managerial directed inquiries.)<\/p>\n 3. What happens to the contemp I’m embedded in?<\/em><\/p>\n While you are embedded in a contemp, absolutely no harm comes to the contemp. Our top meta-temporal scientists have suggested that the contemp may experience an opportunity for a sensation of non-corporeal bliss, contentment and comfort, until they are returned to their default state by your return to your temporal origin time. Completely unrelated distress and or agony experienced by contemps has sometimes been mistakenly attributed by non-experts to the Margaret Goodman Historical Innovations Temporal Replacement Technology (TM). Experts, however, understand that it is not modern technology that is to blame. It is important to realize that contemps lived in primitive times, when many important debilitating mental and physical conditions went unrecognized and untreated. The lives of most contemps in places like 20th century Denmark were solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short. <\/em><\/p>\n We at Margaret Goodman Historical Innovations<\/strong> value nothing more highly than the dignity of contemps, and encourage our Historic Service Specialists to exhibit this attitude in all of their interactions with contemps. Repeated instances of proven deliberate mistreatment of contemps may lead to a mangerial directed inquiry.<\/p>\n 4. Won’t language barriers prevent me from understanding anyone in the past?<\/em><\/p>\n No! As long as the Temporal Replacement Process goes well, you will have all the unconscious knowlege of the contemp you’re embedded within, including their native language skills.<\/p>\n 5. Can I be harmed while embedded in a contemp?<\/em><\/p>\n No! Although it’s well-known that the inhabitants of the past are given to irrational and unpredictable acts of violence, on those rare occasions when epidemics and or starvation aren’t killing them, your own body remains safely contained in the Margaret Goodman Historical Innovations headquarters, where no harm can come to it. You are perfectly safe, and the waivers you have signed are purely a formality.<\/p>\n 6. Can I be embedded in Bill Cosby\/Cleopatra\/Ben Franklin\/Saint Mary?<\/em><\/p>\n Not likely! The Temporal Replacement Technology is unable to choose whose body you will embed. However, in almost all cases, you will be embedded in a contemp who is extremely obscure to history, if not entirely forgotten.<\/p>\n 7. If we don’t know ahead of time who we will be, how will I find the other members of my H.I.T.?<\/em><\/p>\n In most cases the Margaret Goodman Historical Innovations Temporal Replacement Technology will automatically embed all H.I.T. members in close social, temporal and spacial proximity. So finding each other will be easy, especially after undergoing the rigorous and intensive sensitivity training given all Historic Service Specialists by the Margaret Goodman Historical Innovations<\/strong> team.<\/p>\n In rare cases that you are unlikely to ever encounter, a H.I.T. member’s embedding may exhibit a problematic quantity of success, in which case she or he may temporarily forget that they are from the year 2121. However, it is our experience that overly successfully embedded Historical Service Specialists will still tend to be drawn to their fellow H.I.T. members, even though they won’t consciously know why.<\/p>\n 8. How does the Margaret Goodman Historical Innovations Temporal Replacement Technology (TM) work?<\/em><\/p>\n Unfortunately, according to Business Innovations Magazine, <\/em>Historical Innovation is an extremely competitive field, full of spies and devious behavior from companies less ethical and reputed than Margaret Goodman Historical Innovations. <\/strong>Therefore Margaret Goodman Historical Innovations<\/strong> is not free to share the technical details behind our process. However, please rest assured that Margaret Goodman Historical Innovations Temporal Replacement Technology (TM) is both safe and ecologically responsible.<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\nIt’s all about history.<\/strong><\/p>\n