I’m not really keen on having photos of myself on facebook and flicker accounts. As in, I’d greatly prefer that people didn’t take photos at parties and such and then post the ones of me publicly, without permission, tagged with my name.
Is there any way to discourage people from doing this while not being a jerk?
I think holding up a hand and saying “I’m sorry, I don’t want to be in photos if they’re going to end up online. Let me just move…” then moving away is your best bet. People will cajole or try to bargain, and it will then be up to you what you’re willing to accept (on Flickr but friends only, not published online, not annotated with your name, etc.)
Of course this doesn’t work well at large events, especially if photos are being taken during lectures or programs where you’re kind of stuck in an audience. (Though you wouldn’t be identified by name in such cases, usually.) Though I recall a few con type occasions where people had different colored name tags, and anyone with a yellow or red tag was not to be photographed without explicit verbal permission at that moment, and attendees were asked to agree that if they found, in preparing photos to go online, that they had a red/yellow person in a shot, that they’d edit or reserve publication. Honor system, but it seemed to work.
Maybe a t-shirt that says in big letters “The person who took this picture is a meth dealer.”
(Not minimizing your frustration, btw. I can fully relate, with the rare exception.)
I guess the issue is more like — hi, I’m here at your costume party, and I am fully fine with you taking pictures of me for your own use.
Once you put them someplace google searchable? Or viewable by a large number of people, you know, more than would be expected to sit at your table at your house and mutter “oh, nice pictures” … I feel that it’s getting rude for people to do so.
I guess I need to go into every social engagement with that as stated explicitly though. “Do not put photographs of me, labeled with my name, in public places online without my permission.” I mean, seriously, shouldn’t that be normal etiquette?
(No ranting here against individuals, just a phenomenon that seems to have left me a fogey who is still part of Gen Y. Grumble.)
At least, you can remove tags of yourself from photos on Facebook. It’s a somewhat unsatisfactory solution as a whole – doesn’t address the etiquette – but it does immediately make you less visible on that network, and seems less exhausting than formally writing every offendor with a please-remove-this-photo message.
I think with Facebook you can also choose a setting where you must approve any tagged photos of you before they get linked to you. I thought I saw that once, though I didn’t choose it so I’m not 100% sure.
I also find myself with reservations about all this online posting of photos. I’m pregnant, and while I totally understand the desire to easily share baby/kid photos with friends and family by posting them on such things as Facebook, I feel weird about posting pictures of a baby/kid who has absolutely no say in the process online for the world to potentially see.
Also, I think Facebook is kind of tricky because even if you have ALL of your settings set to “Friends only,” “friends only” is not the default for photo albums – you have to go mark each of your albums as “friends only” and it’s not the easiest to find. So if your friends don’t bother to do it, then anyone can see the pictures they post of you, even if you have all of your own personal settings set to friends only. And even if the person whose profile it is has their profile page set to friends only. I noticed this because I realized that when my friends were tagged in albums of people who were not my friends, I could click through and see the albums, even though I wasn’t the person’s friend.
Click on settings at the top of the page.
Click on “manage” to the right of the Privacy section in the Settings tab of the page you get (you an also hover over settings at the top of the page and go to privacy with most browsers)
Click “profile”
You can manage who sees what from here.
http://www.allfacebook.com/2009/02/facebook-privacy/
That link will tell you how to do most (not all) of what you want, at least w/r/t facebook.
At large events, it’s difficult, but with friends I find that just expressing your concerns is enough. I worked in politics briefly, so I’ve fully lost control of my image being posted online, but I have friends who have asked me (nicely) not to post pics of them on Facebook, and to keep flickr photos private. I respect their desire not to have photos of them posted.
It definitely doesn’t make you a jerk to tell your friends you’d prefer any photographs of you not go on the internet. As others have mentioned, you can adjust your Facebook settings (and resort to manually untagging yourself as necessary) to deal with whatever images inevitably slip through.
Telling people you don’t want them to post pictures of you on the ‘net tagged with your name without your permission doesn’t make you a jerk. What it DOES do is point out that THEY are jerks, but then that’s their problem. You’re not making them jerks – God made them jerks. You’re just giving His handiwork public recognition.
This post kind of alarmed me because it had never occurred to me that other people’s tagged photos of me would show up in Google. I did an image search on myself, and all that came up was my profile pic, which I can’t really complain about because anyone who would search for me in Facebook would see the same thing. I’m assuming this means everyone who has tagged me has the right privacy settings, but nonetheless, something to think about. (And no, it doesn’t make you a jerk. I feel like I sound like an after school special, but if these people are really your friends, they should understand and not take offense. It’s a reasonable request.)
Have you considered vampricy? I mean, if you couldn’t form an image on a mirror, maybe that would solve the whole photo thing, too.
Just a thought.
Just ask nicely ? Most people will respect your wishes.
I agree with catherine. Just ask nicely. I think you’ll find that most people will respect your wishes without too much fuss. You can send them my way, I am a total attention whore!
Oh, like that’s gonna work….
I don’t even like having my picture taken, much less posted on the internet and I’ve found that no matter how politely I ask that my pictures be removed/not posted I always come across as a jerk. The idea that anyone would be uncomfortable with having no control over who had access to their image or information seems ridiculous to some people. And Facebook’s policy regarding photos is just frustrating- being able to untag yourself may make it harder for people to find or view your picture but it doesn’t change the fact its being posted without your permission. Just asking, very calmly, to be removed and most people will respect you. At least anyone who is a decent friend would. As for the other jerks, I don’t know. Maybe you should have yourself copyrighted and threaten to sue their asses or charge them every time they use your picture ;)
I’ve been having this battle for years: I don’t mind being photographed, but don’t want any pix posted with the name online. It gets easier with time, as people learn your preferences. The first few times I told my family, no pix with my name, they thought I was an old poop. Now they’re used to the rules, and follow them. Figure out a policy, stick to it firmly and politely, and eventually they’ll accept your feelings as a matter of course.
I wonder if this thing would work for still photos? If so, you could wear it to parties!
How to Make an Invisible Mask for Video Cameras
It would absolutely work for digital cameras, probably not for film.
—Myca