If you feel like getting a good blast of anti-fat bigotry combnied with clueless sexism, be sure to read this article about the fat dad/thin mom combo that’s become common on family sitcoms, entitled “Father Eats Best.” Rick Marin, best known for his kiss-and-tell book “Cad,” offers a sort of detached ironic whining about what an insult it is to real-life fathers to depict them as fat, mixed with fat jokes recycled from his middle-school days (one show is described as starring “John Goodman’s jowls”).
To me, the chubby-hubby-slight-wife trend suggests job segregation at work. In TV acting, it’s more acceptable for men to be fat than women; it’s also more acceptable for fat men to appear in comedies than in dramas. (John Goodman has successfully played dramatic and comedy roles on stage and in movies, but on TV he’s been cast exclusively in comedies).
Given that, it’s no surprise to see a bunch of talented fat male actors gravitating towards TV sit-coms. And it’s especially unsurprising that the women cast on these shows are thin and TV-attractive; after all, that’s what women on all TV shows, even feminist-y shows like Gilmore Girls and Stong Medicine, look like.
But talking about something like plain old-fashioned sexism isn’t hip and ironic, and Marin is one of those writers who has never published a thought that hasn’t been market-tested for hipness and irony.
Marin also follows the lead of men’s righters by complaining about how the male leads in these shows are often presented as incompetant bumblers who have to be corrected by their more competant spouses.
What he doesn’t mention is that being a bumbler means that you have the lead role (think of Lucy on I Love Lucy); the reason more sit-com dads are bumblers is because the lead roles on family sit-coms usually go to men. (On the underappreciated Life With Bonnie, Bonnie is the bumbler and her husband is the bland, competant one.)
Although Marin makes plenty of jokes about fat men, he reserves his ugliest barb for fat women: “When I flipped to ‘Trading Spouses’ on Fox I saw two moderately chubby husbands with supersized spouses. No wonder they were trading them.” (Maybe he should take some of those Cad royalties to a therapist and work on those misogyny issues a bit?)
Incidently, reading Marin’s own site makes it clear he considers himself quite dishy – “He’s the funny, sweet guy with the great eyes who asks you a million questions and seems mesmerized by every reply. He takes you on the greatest, longest date of your life.” In contrast, according to one of his ex-girlfriends, he’s boring in bed (“…you drunkenly lose interest and let him know that he’s welcome to finish without you, thanks”) and strongly resembles Milhouse from The Simpsons. But hey, at least he’s not fat.
Let’s not forget that the men also have the option to be “characters” in facial features, whereas the women do not. For example, Jim Belushi isn’t really all that fat, though he’s also not skinny. But nobody would mistake his face for that of a handsome movie star, either.
I would like to point out that (and though this really isn’t part of the orginal Marin-is-a-sexist-elitist-bastard post) the image of large women on television is changing a little bit.
For example, “Gilmore Girls.” Melissa McCarthy who plays chef/inn co-owner “Sookie St. James” would be considered a large woman by any Hollywood standard and the writers have protrayed her character as beautiful, competent, married to a good guy (who is handsome, tall and broad but not fat) and now has a child. And she remains an independent, successful chef and co-entreprenuer.
Just a thought.
I actually think that part of the bumbling dad phenomenon, which shows up a lot in advertising, too, is that it naturalizes the idea that women do all the work around the house. Women cook and clean and do the difficult and dirty parts of child-rearing, and men sit on the couch and watch football. The reason for this isn’t that women are oppressed: it’s that men are just too dumb and incompetent to do housework. Women should be flattered that they’re stuck with all the work, because it’s really a testiment to their intelligence, skill, and un-bumblingness. It’s not inequality: it’s just that they’re better!
Minor nitpick: Goodman played a low-key dramatic part on the sci-fi TV series “Now and Again”.
As for the “bumbling dad” syndrome, the thing is that bumblers are funny, and comedians (who these sitcoms are normally geared around) are particularly good at playing bumblers. So you get Kevin James and Drew Carey and Ray Romano playing bumbling dads and Lucille Ball and Bonnie Hunt and Carol Burnett playing bumbling moms.
Come to think of it, Goodman had a dramatic role on “West Wing,” too. Although that was a stunt-casting guest-shot; his ongoing lead roles have been in comedies.
It’s typical Hollywood bullshit. Men can be overweight, plain to very ugly, and completely obnoxious. Women must be thin, pretty to beautiful, and in possession of all the social graces. And for some reason, they get paired up in sitcoms and bad romantic comedies. When I see Roseanne paired up with a hunky, together costar, I’ll believe things are starting to even out.
As for whats-his-name, you know what they say about people who protest too much. :::Yawn:::
That doesn’t seem to me to explain anything at all, Scooter, unless you’re implying that there aren’t any women comedians around today. All of the men you’ve mentioned have had sitcoms on recently, Lucille Ball and Carol Burnett were on the air more than 25 years ago. If there’s really no bias towards bumbling dads, why haven’t there been more bumbling moms in recent decades?
Of course, the most successful recent family sit-com built around a comedian is Roseanne, and that defies all of these rules. Neither Roseanne nor Dan was especially bumbling, and neither was what Hollywood would consider attractive. But Roseanne was a particularly convention-defying sit-com in a lot of respects.
I also believe this “chubby/balding/older dad, thin/conventionally attractive mom” dynamic plays into men’s sense of entitlement. No matter what a guy looks like, shows like this can buoy his belief that he’s entitled to have a wife who meets current standards of youthful attractiveness.
If Lucy/Desi is the standard, we’ve definitely gone backwards in the last half-century. Desi Arnaz was actually very conventionally handsome. Even his role on the show was that of a sort of professional hearthrob.
This stuff applies to many popular (prime time) cartoons, too–“The Simpsons,” “Futurama” (RIP), and “Family Guy,” for example.
I think the fat, bumbling husband/thin, competent wife is really the result of the standard for great sitcoms set by “The Honeymooners”. I think with that in the background, the fat husband/thin wife combo is just something people will subconsciously associate with humor.
I want to second what Sally said. Conservatives (well, unreconstructed sexists) who complain about the bumbling dad stereotype are willfully or obtusely missing the main point. I would be very surprised if the bumbling dad didn’t track exactly the development of the career woman. As the ideological barricades against women enetering the workforce become indefensible, the bumbling dad is a kind of agressive concession: we’ll let you in the office, but you’ll have to keep doing the same domestic work? Why? Well, we’re just too stupid for it.
Women who are bumbling on sitcoms tend to be single, if they’re not neurotic and single.
Yeah, it confirms people’s sick, irrational desire to believe that, really really, men are just by nature not suited to all that icky home and family stuff. You sell more Ford pickup trucks by embracing myths than by challenging them.
Women who are bumbling on sitcoms tend to be single, if they’re not neurotic and single.
Speaking of which, am I the only person in the English-speaking world who wishes she could set the entire cast of *Will & Grace* on fire everytime I’m unfortunate enough to encounter it ?
Oh, and the same goes for *Friends*.
right there with ya, alsis38! i’ll bring the marshmellows… ;)
btw, speaking of John Goodman, did anyone ever catch the sitcom he starred in called “Normal, Ohio” in which he plays a beer-drinking, sports-loving Midwesterner who “happens to be gay”? i’m trying to imagine it but…
Raznor, if historical reasons were the only reason, then why don’t we have more sitcoms based on the “I Love Lucy” model–crazy wife played by a physical comedian and handsome husband with a sense of humor?
Granted, “I Love Lucy” was brutally sexist, but so was “The Honeymooners”, and Hollywood was able to tone down the most sexist elements of that show. There’s plenty of actors who could do a show like that–think Molly Shannon plus handsome actor.
I think a big part of it is that female comedians just can’t catch a break. Women are chosen for roles because of their looks and not their talents, especially lead roles.
I have to say I agree with Sally in her first post:
“I actually think that part of the bumbling dad phenomenon, which shows up a lot in advertising, too, is that it naturalizes the idea that women do all the work around the house. Women cook and clean and do the difficult and dirty parts of child-rearing, and men sit on the couch and watch football. ”
It’s offensive to me as a man, because it says men are useless in the home, and as someone in favour of equal rights (feminist hanger-on?) because of the whole “women’s work” thing.
Moronic can’t get laid hardporn spamming poopyheads should be rolled in honey and thrown in a garbage bag full of fire ants.
Why waste perfectly good honey ? Better it should go in gingersnaps. [profers plate of same at Sheelzebub]
“dogfart interracial?”
Who let Rick Santorum post?
Speaking of fat and bigotry: check this out http://www.anonymousasshole.net/arc_fatnotfabulous.htm
rather nasty…but I can’t help but agreeing.
This stuff applies to many popular (prime time) cartoons, too–“The Simpsons,” “Futurama” (RIP), and “Family Guy,” for example.
I think I’m going to have to argue with “Futurama.” Although it’s not perfect, it does explore gender roles quite a bit better than the other two primetime cartoons. Also, there isn’t a beautiful main woman paired with a main dumb guy; Hermes’ wife is attractive, but I don’t think he’s particularly unattractive, and he isn’t considered a loser.
Leela, by the way, is voiced by the actress who played Peg Bundy. I was wondering what you all thought of “Married with Children” and whether it undermines gender roles or enforces them. I really can’t decide.
Marin has the face only a mother could love and, judging from his book, the personality only a very desperate woman could put up with. Who cares what he thinks?
“I saw two moderately chubby husbands with supersized spouses. No wonder they were trading them,” Marin writes.
I wonder when his wife is going to realize she’s married to the ugliest man in Manhattan and trade him.
I rather like the dynamic in “Home Improvement” because the wife very often calls Tim Allen’s character on his sexism. By the end of the show she was professionally as successful as he was, and the youngest son was more domestic than the older two boys.
Tim and the boys often did domestic things, but the occurences were exaggerated for comedic effect.
My husband doesn’t see a television show and think that somehow I’m supposed to do all the work. He and I both work outside the home, and we both take care of the domestic duties. When he stayed home and I worked, I didn’t do any housework. He wouldn’t let me. Same for the short period of time that I stayed home and he worked. I’ve never been one to much care what media or anyone else thinks about me or my life. (And yes, I am aware that what people think can effect my life, I just refuse to live my life by other people’s assumptions and or beliefs.)
Check out this photo of Rick Marin:
http://www.randomhouse.co.uk/catalog/images/authors/4502.jpg
Has he looked at himself in the mirror? I would rather weigh 300 pounds than have that face.