I turned it into a story but the hole in my heart is still there

i-turned-it-into-a-story-but-the-hole-in-my-heart-is-still-there

Last year when I was a guest on Hour of the Wolf I read my 9/11-inspired story Until Forgiveness Comes on the air. Jim Freund liked it so much and liked the radio-y/NPR-esque-ness that he suggested we should record it as a radio play. I am all for that, so I wrote a script and we’ve been slowly, slowly working our way toward making that happen.

Jim will produce, we’ll likely get studio time at WBAI, and the fabulous Andrea Hairston will direct. She has some actors in mind, Jim keeps insisting I should do a part, and I am crossing my fingers for a guest appearance by Margo Adler (the original host of Hour of the Wolf and fancy NPR contributor). But I know we’ll need to bring in a few actors to read, and it would be nice if those actors could be paid. This is the part that’s holding up the works, unfortunately.

I’m hoping to get that all resolved because I would really love to have the play ready to go on next year’s anniversary. Despite the fact that many of us here in NYC are truly Not On about the spectacle that these anniversaries have become, it’s not likely to get any better next year due to the West’s love of base 10. So I’d like to make a small contribution to the conversation that isn’t about politics or publicity.

Somehow the money will emerge. That or we’ll find really excellent actors who don’t mind working for free. Still, I’d rather give everyone involved something for their time.

You can still read Until Forgiveness Comes at Strange Horizons or you can listen to the second half of my appearance on HotW where I read the story then take calls.

I’ll be back on the show next Saturday with my writing group, Altered Fluid. They will be critiquing a story of mine live on the air. At 5am… Yes, there will be a podcast you can download later, but you’ll miss the call-in part!

(x-posted)

I turned it into a story but the hole in my heart is still there -- Originally posted at The Angry Black Woman

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3 Responses to I turned it into a story but the hole in my heart is still there

  1. 1
    Simple Truth says:

    I like it. The part that the actual terrorists had faded because no one remembered them was thought-provoking to me, as if the threat was no longer tied to a physical act but instead the mysticism of the violence, the idea of a bombing. Seems very true to reality there.
    I was curious about how you made up the names. They seem hurried in a way, as if they are unimportant markers not meant to reflect any particular reality but to be brushed past to get to the rest of the story. If so, then that can be telling as well – symbols of characters rather than characters themselves participate in a symbolic ritual that brings back ghosts…how far from the actual event have we gone? Will we eventually have this hatred without meaning, a ritual that people shrug and say it’s tradition?
    Thank you for sharing.

  2. 2
    Dianne says:

    I read the story last year. One thing that didn’t hit me until much later: Does the title “Until Forgiveness Comes” refer to the widow of one of the terrorists or to the mourners of the victims? Is the memorial (which in this world may literally keep souls from moving on) really an act of revenge against the victims? Is the big orgasmic mourning circus* at the WTC every year-especially this year-there because we can’t forgive those we lost for dying?

    *I live in lower Manhattan and witnessed the events. I can’t think of how else to describe it. The exploitation of the genuine mourners loss makes me sick.

  3. @Simple Truth

    The names I took a long time with, actually, because I wanted them to reflect the world I built for the story. In it, Egypt stayed a dominant world power instead of giving way to Rome (or to Alexander), which I imagined had a profound effect on the development of many cultures. So I used a lot of Roman first names but Egyptian family names, used some naming conventions that don’t use that particular construction (Hannadotter Frida, for instance), and other kinds of names to evoke that idea. But, in the end, the names aren’t meant to be the focus of the story, just a gracenote of worldbuilding.

    @Dianne, it’s meant to refer to everyone in the story, but the title came to me when I wrote that last line.

    I agree with you about the ceremonies.