I’m a regular reader of Ethics Alarms. Jack, the blogger there, is a great deal more conservative than I, although I think he might describe himself as a centrist. But he posts opinions I find unpredictable now and then (Jack’s pro-equal marriage but thought Justice Walker should have recused himself from the Prop 8 case, for example), and I enjoy the unpredictability. I also enjoy the way that his irascibility, compared to my prissiness, makes me feel like Felix Unger.
Anyway, recently Jack wrote and posted a taxonomy of apologies, which appealed to the nerd in me. Here’s the list (with Jack’s kind permission).
Here is the hierarchy of apologies, their function and their motivation, 1-10, from most admirable to despicable:
1. An apology motivated by the realization that one’s past conduct was unjust, unfair, and wrong, constituting an unequivocal admission of wrongdoing as well as regret, remorse and contrition, as part of a sincere effort to make amends and seek forgiveness.
2. An apology motivated by the realization that one’s legitimate and defensible action caused unanticipated, excessive, or unnecessary harm to a particular party or parties. The apology expresses a sincere regret that the harm occurred.
3. An apology motivated by a desire to accept accountability for an event or occurrence that one may not have caused, but was responsible for in some way.
4. A spontaneous and apology intended to demonstrate compassion and sympathy for the victim or victims of the unavoidable consequences of a necessary action.
5. A spontaneous apology designed to prevent future, preventable harm by expressing regret that a past action was necessary or that it occurred at all.
6. A forced or compelled version of 1-4, when the individual apologizing knows that an apology is appropriate but would have avoided making one if he or she could have gotten away with it.
7. A forced or compelled version of 1-4, in which the individual apologizing may not believe that an apology is appropriate, but that shows the victim or victims of the act inspiring it that the individual responsible is humbling himself and being forced to admit wrongdoing by the society, the culture, legal authority, or an organization or group that the individual’s actions reflect upon or represent.
8. A forced apology for a rightful or legitimate act, in capitulation to bullying, fear, threats, desperation or other coercion
9. Deceitful apologies,in which the wording of the apology is crafted to appear apologetic when it is not (“if my words offended, I am sorry”).
10. An insincere and dishonest apology designed to allow the wrongdoer to escape accountability cheaply, and to deceive his or her victims into forgiveness and trust, so they are vulnerable to future wrongdoing.
Almost immediately after I read this, Jack and I got into an argument about Rush Limbaugh’s recent apology to Ms Fluke, which Jack rated a 7 but I thought was a 9.
There are more explanations and examples in Jack’s full post.
That’s not deceitful–it’s just an effort to acknowledge someone’s subjective offense, when you don’t actually think that what you said was objectively problematic. Happens all the time.
From the perspective of the apologee, it may seem deceitful. From the perspective of the apologizer, it’s #8.
I’d say Limbaugh’s apology was both a 7 (a forced apology when not believed due to show public humility) and a 9 (a deceitful apology with wording that avoids acknowledging the substance of the crime). And since the taxonomy appears to be set up to sort apologies from admirable to despicable it seems we should categorize the apology by it’s more despicable traits rather than its less so (but still despicable) traits.
I was surprised that there wasn’t one that was exactly this but ended at the word “wrongdoing.”
@gin and whisky: I’d call it deceitful because the apology is framed as being for “two words”. Colbert has a great bit on this with a recap of the many, many ways Limbaugh was vile to this woman and implied terrible things outside the context of the “two” words. It essentially derails the apology into an argument of semantics. (Like– ‘sorry I pointed out that you’re a ____.’)
Here is why Limbaugh’s apology was deceitful, instead of merely forced
He apologized ONLY for his choice of words. But as Futrelle’s word replace shows, even a perfect choice of words would not have made what he said acceptable, thus it’s a fake apology designed to make it LOOK like he’s apologizing for something that he in fact isn’t.
Oh, sorry I wasn’t clear: I was talking about the general taxonomy and not Limbaugh.
g-w, it seems to me that what you’re talking about falls under #2, in that if you don’t think that what you said was objectively problematic, you’re apologizing for what you perceive to be a legitimate and defensible action. I think # 9 is deceitful because it is an attempt to appear to be #2 when it is clearly not (to anyone considering the offense).
I’d add another, which I’d put at #11 (because I genuinely think it is worse than all of these):
11. An insincere and dishonest apology designed to reiterate the original offense and/or blame the victim for causing the wrong in the first place, under the guise of “apologizing” for it.
E.g.: “I regret that I was provoked into making statements that could be deliberately and maliciously miscontrued by right-wing Zionists who are openly hostile to trade unions, openly consort with the neo-fascist EDL and who wish to smear my reputation and that of my union.”
Believe it or not, this was not meant as sardonic — this was part of what he presented as a genuine apology (for telling a Jewish interlocutor that he saw himself as “chosen” and thus felt “better than me”).
From the perspective of the apologee, it may seem deceitful. From the perspective of the apologizer, it’s #8.
It could be either, depending on the perspective of the apologizer. “I am genuinely sorry that I caused you grief, even though I do not believe the thing I did was, objectively, wrong” is very different from “I regret that you are such a whiny loser that my words of wisdom hurt your precious fee-fees.”