Jeannie Choi blogs:
I am writing you this letter after much internal debate to inform you of the many realizations that erupted within me after our very brief encounter yesterday. I am writing you this letter because there is a lot I have to say to you. I am writing you this letter because after a great deal of thought, I’ve decided that you might like to know what you did, what I should have done, and what I hope can happen between you and me in the future.
First, what you did. Yesterday, as I was walking down Columbia Road, you saw me from a distance. I did not see you, because I was on the phone. But you certainly saw me. You saw me in my summer dress, walking quickly because I was late for dinner with my cousins, chattering away on my cell phone, laughing at something my friend said. You saw me. You saw my black hair, my sloped forehead, brown eyes, and undoubtedly in your mind you thought something along the lines of chink, gook, oriental, Chinese chick who doesn’t speak English. And for some reason, for a reason that I can’t understand, you proceeded to get right in my face and yell at me. And if you can’t remember what it is you yelled—Well, I do and I probably will forever:“Ching chong ching chong f***ing CHINK!”
[Hat Tip: Phil]
1. She’s a better person than I am.
2. Never let it be said that the racists aren’t witty.
3. Yes, point 2 is sarcasm.
Wtf? That man is ridiculous. I would ask, “Who does this stuff anymore?” except it’s so bizarrely stupid that I have to ask, “Who EVER did that kind of stuff, even at the height of open racism?”
Wow, that’s quite a letter.
She’s obviously a good person, but… I’m not sure that her analysis makes sense, even so. By nobly blaming herself and her community, she’s blaming the wrong people. Asian-Americans are a minority, and even if every Asian-American in the country decides that she’ll be outgoing and meet with as many people from as many racial and class backgrounds as possible, there are still going to be large areas of the US where most people have never been friends with an Asian-American person.
Nor is integration a guarantee that prejudice will dissolve. To use the most extreme example, German Jews before the holocaust were famously well integrated.
Finally, I think her assumption that the person who yelled at her assumed that she didn’t understand English and so wouldn’t understand she was being attacked, is too kind. It’s perfectly possible that he assumed she would understand and feel hurt, and that was his point.
She obviously means well, but the thing that bugs me a bit about her letter (or my take on it, at least) is that she seems to want to be able to let him, her verbal attacker, know that she is just as American as he is. And she is, of course. Born in Baton Rouge, English is her first language, Christianity appears to be her religion. She can bond with him over how conventionally American she is. But what if she, or the next Asian he attacks, wasn’t. What if they had recently immigrated, spoke little English, and were Buddhist? What if they lived up to all of his stereotypes? It isn’t about who she is…or who any other Asian/minority who unfortunately cross this guy’s path is. It is about who this guy is, and he is hateful.
Also, as a woman with a disability who on occasion gets treated rudely by men on the street (most notably when I was pregnant, incidentally), I have to say that just common sense tells me that if someone is actually going to be hateful enough to come up and do that to you, for your own personal safety you need to walk away and not engage. I think she is a little naive here to think you could actually change someone that angry by simply introducing yourself. You are probably more likely to open yourself up to more verbal and possibly even physical harm. There are certain situations where going out of your comfort zone and getting to know people with different backgrounds might be extremely helpful, but I don’t know that this is the one.
But good for her for thinking it through and trying to address it positively instead of returning it with hate. Maybe I’m a cynic, but she sounds very young.
This is me hoping that the guy had Tourettes or was schizophrenic or had some other mental disability that would directly explain his ridiculous outburst.
Somehow, though, I doubt it.
Thanks for reprinting this on the Feast of St Jude, whether you intended that or not.
She is an exemplary Christian; the kind I strive (and consistently fail) to be. She transforms her shock, hurt and anger into curiosity, understanding and love. She represents the best of Christianity.
Again, thanks so much for this post.
By nobly blaming herself and her community, she’s blaming the wrong people.
Where did she “blame herself”? I read it over, and didn’t see that.
Being sorry someone doesn’t know you isn’t “blaming yourself”–it is expressing regret that you are strangers and haven’t met before and are therefore limited in your empathy and knowledge of the other.
She can bond with him over how conventionally American she is.
I didn’t get that either… I read someone saying “You think you know me, and you don’t–y0u might be surprised at how alike we are, despite appearances.”
Maybe I’m a cynic, but she sounds very young.
That isn’t cynicism, that ageism.
(Now see, this is why she’s a better Christian than me; I always have to argue.)
Hmmm…didn’t read that part; oh well.