While I was poking around the excellent Indianz.com website, I ran across this funny post by Steve Russell, predicting what will happen if the forthcoming BIA (Bureau of Iraqi Affairs) is modeled after the current BIA (Bureau of Indian Affairs).
Dear People of Iraq,
Now that you have been liberated from your tyrannical oppressors, we at the BIA look forward to our relationship with you. Below you will
find a list of what to expect from the services of our good offices.
- Henceforth, English will be the spoken language of all government and associated offices. If you do not speak English, a translator fluent in German will be provided.
- All Iraqi people will apply for a spot on a citizen roll. Citizenship will be open to those people who can prove that they are Iraqi back four generations with documents issued by the United States. Christian church records may also be given in support.
- All hospitals will be issued with a standard emergency aid kit. The kit contains gauze, band aids, burn cream, iodine, tweezers, and duct tape.
- Your oil is to be held in trust for you. We will appoint your new American approved government a lawyer with a background in the oil industry. Never mind that he works for the company that he will eventually cut a deal with. This close relationship will guarantee you more money for your oil.
There’s more – click here to read the whole thing.
Update: Question for readers: So the writer says he wrote this “from something Pax Riddle sent me and I recognize that he rewrote it from an old spoof of the BIA that was around years ago…so I think we have the classic folk tale, growing like a snowball, not to “belong” to any one person…” Does that mean it’s okay for me to swipe this idea for a comic strip?
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