Why do they oppose gay marriage?

I wrote this in the comments to an earlier post, but it seems worth posting more prominently.

For folks who follow the debate over gay marriage in the press and on the blogs, it’s easy to get the impression that people oppose gay marriage primarily out of a desire to protect children (on the theory that children will be less likely to be raised by their biological parents, and thus harmed, if allowing same-sex marriage degrades the connection between marriage and parenthood).

Of course, this argument makes no sense. It ignores the fact that ability to procreate has never been a legal basis for marriage in the USA; nor has either infertility or refusal to have children ever been legal grounds for divorce. It ignores the fact that one-third of lesbian households and one-fifth of gay male households in the USA are raising children (apparently protecting children becomes unimportant if the children are being raised by same-sex couples). It presumes that it’s reasonable to punish all lesbians and gay people in real, concrete ways in order to prevent heterosexuals from a distant possibility of suffering an entirely speculative harm. And it assumes that heterosexuals decide to get married not out of love, or family planning, or pratical considerations, but out of a desire to have something same-sex couples lack.

In short, the anti-same-sex-marriage argument we hear so much is gibberish. But it has the advantage of not being based on religious belief, nor on hatred of lesbians and gays. This is important for SSM opponents, who want to avoid appearing to be either religious fanatics or homophobes. But does the “it’s about what’s best for children” argument really represent the typical reason most Americans object to gay marriage?

A Pew Research Center poll suggests that it doesn’t.

Let’s look at it in detail. According to the Pew poll, what do opponents of “gay marriage” say their main reason is for opposing gay marraige?

So, let’s add it up.

45% of the folks who oppose SSM do so for primarily religious reasons (A&B).

Another 21% oppose SSM primarily because they’re homophobic bigots (D&E).

16% say marriage must consist of a man and a woman because marriage consists of a man and a woman – a tautology.

And 7% give reasons similar to what you might commonly read on an intellectual anti-SSM website. (F,G & I).

Bottom line: According to what SSM opponents say when surveyed, far more people oppose SSM because of their religion and/or homophobia than oppose SSM because they’re worried about speculative harms to children..