Same-Sex Marriage does so effect Het Marriage

Posted on April 9, 2004 by Ampersand

A post on Notes From the Tundra suggests that opposite-sex marriages are changed by same-sex marriage, after all. Here’s a sample:

Speaking as someone who will have been in a state-sanctioned, state-approved, culturally -encouraged heterosexual marriage for ten years this October, I know that the recognition of SSM has an effect on how I feel about my own marriage. Because you see, something happened recently, just over a month ago now, something that has made me rethink my original “WTF?” response to the anti-SSM folks’ arguments.

What happened just over a month ago now was that Multnomah County, Oregon–the county in which I live–ruled that for the state to refuse to recognize the marriages of same-sex couples was discriminatory and unconstitutional, and therefore ordered the county offices to stop denying marriage licenses to couples on the basis of gender.

And that did affect my feelings about my own marriage, and in ways far deeper and more profound than I ever would have anticipated. Something about my own marriage changed last month. Something important.

What changed about my marriage was that for the first time in nearly a decade, I could actually feel pretty okay about it.

That doesn’t fully cover the author’s thoughts – I definitely recommend reading the whole thing.

Disclosure: Hey, am I ethically required to mention that the writer I’m linking to is my housemate of nearly 20 years, or is that not necessary?.

This entry was posted in Same-Sex Marriage. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Same-Sex Marriage does so effect Het Marriage

  1. Raznor says:
    April 9, 2004 at 1:15 pm

    Hey, am I ethically required to mention that the writer I’m linking to is my housemate of nearly 20 years, or is that not necessary?

    I would posit “no, but it’s probably a good thing to mention it anyway.” You’re linking to this isn’t for the purpose of scoring rhetorical points, but rather is just an emotional story with an underlying political view you agree with. Therefore I view it separate from the overlying argument. However, mentioning that it’s your housemate of 20 years let’s us know how you came about this article.

  2. lucia says:
    April 9, 2004 at 1:30 pm

    I laughed out loud when I read the final sentence you included! That’s wonderful.

  3. Ben G. says:
    April 9, 2004 at 5:36 pm

    The sentiment that legalized gay and lesbian marriages remove something, the guilt and discomfort that come with privilege, resonates a lot for me. I also think gay and lesbian marriages add something positive to heterosexual marriage. Three and half years ago, in our wedding program from our Jewish, het marriage, my wife and I wrote:

    As we celebrate our marriage with the sanction of the state and Jewish legal precedent, we reflect on our good fortune. The loving, beautiful and moving Jewish commitment ceremonies of our lesbian and gay friends lack a similar social and legal sanction. These ceremonies have contributed to our understanding of what it means to marry for love. We look forward to the day when the wider society boradens its understanding of marriage.

    Kal vechomer, how much the more so, now, with the first joyous celebrations as some gay and lesbian couples in some places have their love honored with legal recognition. Watching droves of people celebrate getting to have something that I am privleged to take for granted as my right continues to teach me about the value of love in a committed relationship.

  4. Jake says:
    April 9, 2004 at 7:47 pm

    Rawk. I love it.

  5. David says:
    April 11, 2004 at 6:10 am

    Hey, am I ethically required to mention that the writer I’m linking to is my housemate of nearly 20 years, or is that not necessary?

    Oh, absolutely – if Mohammed doesn’t say where he is, where will the mountaineers mark him on the map?

  6. Raja says:
    June 5, 2004 at 10:51 am

    dsdsdsdfgfgfgf fgrgrgrtr

Comments are closed.