(MAJOR TRIGGER WARNINGS — Lots of stuff about how Fred Phelps abused his entire family. Please be cautious about reading on or following the links if you think it may be a trigger for you.)
Nate Phelps, the son of the infamously hateful preacher Fred Phelps, delivered a speech at this year’s American Atheist Convention. In the speech, Nate describes life with his father:
Yet when my father turned his instructive fist on my mother, I instinctively felt internal conflict. For me, it was intuitively wrong that a 6 foot 2, 250 pound man be allowed to beat up a woman barely half his size. But we dared not intervene or even question his actions, because his behavior was sanctioned by god.
In one instance, as my father was stalking our mother at the top of the stairs, she stumbled and started to fall. Reaching out to catch herself she ripped her arm out of the socket. My father refused to let her get medical treatment to repair the damaged muscles and tendons. In subsequent, years when he was angry with her, he would inevitably grab for that injured arm. On a few occasions he managed to get hold of it and re-injure it.
In addition to his misogyny, homophobia, anti-Semitism, and pretty much every other kind of bigotry under the sun, Phelps is also a fat-hater, abusing his children and wife for not being slender enough. It’s interesting how all these forms of othering slide so naturally into one another.
Reading through Nate’s site, it seems amazing that Nate got out (and, after years of involvement with less insane forms of Christianity than his father’s, became a firm atheist). Most of his siblings haven’t been so lucky (a section of the site includes a long email from his sister making excuses for Fred Phelps’ behavior).
Via Figleaf.
This is so sad to see but unfortunately not surprising. I only wish his sister could have gotten out too.
I know this is a side point compared to all of the rest of the ugliness, but it has always confused me.
One of the key Calvinistic tenets is that only God really knows who is among the elect. Why is Phelps so sure he is one of the elect?
Have you read Jon Bell’s very long article on the Phelps family? It was horrifying.
He really sounds like the crazy father from Barbara Kingsolver’s excellent book “The Poisonwood Bible”. Far from holding these people to some standard of moral behaviour, these people’s religion gives them justification in inflicting their own hateful beliefs on others. I mean, you don’t even have to look very far in the Bible to justify Phelps’ behaviour. Not that there isn’t plenty of positive advice in there too; you get to pick and choose, apparently.
It seems to me that the moral code taught by churches comes not from the Bible but from the community. If your church community thinks slavery is A-OK, well, that’s what the preacher will say, and that’s what the kids will learn. If your church community thinks slavery is an evil marring the face of Christianity, you’ll raise abolitionist kids. But both groups will claim they’re doing exactly what the Bible tells them to…
Bingo.
And the problem is that once you’ve taken a ‘community standard’ and made it a ‘biblical standard’, it’s a lot harder to change. I can argue logically against whatever, but “God Said” is kind of the ultimate rebuttal.
—Myca
It would be good if someone wrote a play about Phelps. Nate would be a good candidate. It might be good therapy for him.
Also a play about how nutty and abusive Phelps is, would be ‘turn about fair play’ regarding his cruelty about the Laramie project.
I don’t know why his hatred hasn’t killed him. Very bad energy can be so destructive.
My father was a dictatorial racist and (rather incidentally) an atheist, so he never made us go to church and never incorporated his fascism into some theological world view. To my way of thinking, that is a unique form of abuse: This ain’t just from me, it’s from God/The Universe and is Divine Law.
I used to pray every day that God would rescue me from my father… but what if my father had been the guy in charge of my prayers? What a nightmare to consider. I am so grateful he was not a preacher, teacher, cop, lawyer, some man with even more authority than simply that of a working class patriarchal father.
I always wonder, if he had been religious, would I be atheist? Probably. (We always run in the opposite direction of the tyrants, don’t we?)
I feel so sorry for the Phelps family. I knew it had to be very bad.
Date: October 6, 2010
To: Open letter to Rev. Fred Phelps
From: No Pot To
nopot22@gmail.com
I suppose I should hate you : but I don’t. I am a combat veteran of the US Army, as well as a religious Jew. I should be opposing your philosophy : but I cannot.
Please bare with me here for a little bite. I am going to say a few things you will not like, but then it gets better. I wish to give you the ‘old’ teaching from the Jewish tradition—one so old no Rabbi speaks of it today. In the Old Testament the rule against homosexuality is quickly followed by the rule against cutting the corners of the beard. It is indeed strange that you choose to enforce the rules again gays, yet have a clean shaven face. One begins to question just what it is you really do—follow the word of God or just concern yourself with homosexuality.
Old testament Hebrew has gender indicators that modern English does not have. Translation therefore is a little off. The rules against homosexuality were always applied to the male gender never the female. This indicated to the ancient Rabbis that the these rules applied to men only and not to women at all, thus eliminating the need of 50% of the world population to observe them. Secondly, the rules were always applied to Jews, never to the gentiles. Since the Jewish population of this world is less than 1%, the old Rabbis never applied rule against homosexuality to 99% of the world. In reality that rule involves only one half of one present of the worlds population today (.05%). I do not speak for Jewish Law now, and you will never get a modern Rabbi to tell you this. However, neither you nor any member of your congregation is Jewish, therefore I absolve you of any need to follow Jewish Law. You are free to go and become gay if you so wish.
With that said, I must admit I whole-heartedly support your philosophy and your actions even though they seem designed more to ‘wound’ than to ‘teach.’ Yes! You are right! God hates homosexuals Yes, you are right. 9/11 and dead soldiers are God’s answer to the degradation he sees in this country today. No one who voluntarily wishes to follow the word of God as taught by the Jews can denie this.
After 9/11 I watched on TV as members of the US Congress stood on the steps of the Capitol Rotunda and sang, “God bless America.” I ask you, just what ‘truck’ does that pack of scoundrels and thieves have with God? Why should God listen to them? For that matter, why should God bless America? Name one thing America has done since the Viet Nam war that would beget the Grace of God? Don’t think too hard. There isn’t a thing. I watched as President George Bush became the high-priest of the nation, saying prayers and blessing the troops as he sent them off on their holy mission. That seems to be very appropriate. A corrupt, career politician and an unrepentant drunk became the high-priest of this country. I watched as solders entered Afghanistan and said to the local population, you can listen to music now. And they would turn-up their ghetto-blaster to hear Little Steve Wonder singing, “Let’s do it in the road…” The Moslem’s in a religiously oriented country don’t want to hear that. Hell, I don’t want to listen to it. Those GI’s didn’t have a clue what brought them there to begin with. The American went to Afghanistan fighting for oil, trade routes, and the rule of law. But as for Al Qida, after watching their society being slowly beaten down for decades with American smut, debauchery, and pop-culture, Al Qida began to fight back. They were fighting for morality! Common human decency! God!
Ah… War is easier. It is easier to fight the boogie-man than it is to attack the real problems that this country faces in the 21st century. For instance in the State of Florida alone, there are over 20,000 names on the registered sex offender list. That is just one state. Add them all together and what do you get? Ah, but it’s easier to fight Al Qida than it is to deal with that problem—the real problem. George Bush went to world war III against Al Qida, but if you collect every member of Al Qida in the world together they wouldn’t even fill-up George Bush’s White House. If you collect all the sex offenders of the world together, there wouldn’t be enough room in the Sate of Florida to house them all. It is much easier for Americans to spend all their time, money, and ambition swatting flies while they ignore the ‘elephant in the living room.’
Reverend Phelps, your cause is just! Your reasoning is sound! Your mission is clear! Your motives may be a little suspect, but you are a lone voice in the wilderness shouting for the Laws of God. You are to be commended for these actions. I urge you to keep going; keep trying. To save just one soul is to save an entire universe. Good luck. May God go with you. I only ask that you widen your scope just a little. Include all sexual deviations and hypocrisy.