The single stupidist thing any Nice Guy (TM) has ever written

Joe Tom Collins writes:

When the Feminists came for the Rapists,
I remained silent;
I was not a Rapist.

When they locked up the stalkers,
I remained silent;
I was not a stalker.

When they came for the Players,
I did not speak out;
I was not a Player.

When they came for the men who they got bored of,
I remained silent;
I wasn’t some one they were bored of yet.

When they came for me, the nice guy,
there was no one left to speak out.

Self-pity has a new king.

(Via Ami Angelwings’ Super Cute Rants of Dooom XD).

This entry posted in Anti-feminists and their pals, crossposted on TADA. Bookmark the permalink. 

22 Responses to The single stupidist thing any Nice Guy (TM) has ever written

  1. Pingback: Chode of the day « Another angry woman

  2. 2
    Rachel says:

    Ugh, what? So many levels of FAIL.

    The emo crap of Nice Guys (TM) is a major pet peeve of mine. I would dissect this odious toad of poetry, but I have to go to work. Always nice to start the day irritated!

  3. 3
    purplefinn says:

    This is hilarious. Thanks for the laugh! Poor Mr. Nice Guy. He’s so nice he regrets not standing up for rapists, stalkers, players and bores. Maybe he’s Mr. Enabler. Perhaps that’s why “nice” can have such repulsive undertones.

  4. 4
    nojojojo says:

    …so Nice Guys ™ have to defend rapists, stalkers, etc.! It’s good for the world!

    ::facepalm::

  5. 5
    Keeley says:

    …I can’t help but wonder why “Rapists” and “Players” get to be capitalized in this context, while “stalkers” do not. Less of a boogeyman, somehow?

  6. 6
    Dani Alexis says:

    “When they came for me, the nice guy,
    there was no one left to speak out.”

    “…They had all abandoned me, because it turns out that a guy who thinks rapists and stalkers are unfairly prosecuted as a rule isn’t so “nice” after all.”

  7. 8
    chingona says:

    Holy. Shit.

  8. Sitting open mouthed in front of his computer, Richard tries to write a response, but every time he puts his fingers to the keyboard, he sits back in renewed horror. This leaves him absolutely, utterly, speechless.

  9. 10
    MisterMephisto says:

    There’s also the extra level of fail in that he’s (hopefully unintentionally; not that stupidity is more excusable than the alternative, mind you) equating communists, trade unionists, and Jews with rapists, stalkers, players, and bores by attempting to appropriate this quote in this fashion.

    It also smacks a little of comparing tax-laws to Holocausts.

    So triple fail perhaps?

  10. 11
    CaitieCat says:

    Utterly appalling. And, minor quibble because she’s a friend of mine, it’s Ami Angelwings’, rather than Angelwins’, though I’m dead glad to see her being linked in a wider context.

  11. 12
    Ampersand says:

    CaitieCat, thanks for the correction — I’ve fixed it in the post.

  12. 13
    nm says:

    I hate the misuse (and it’s almost always a misuse) of Niemöller’s words. But in this case I want to enjoy it, momentarily, because then “no one left to speak out” would mean that there literally were almost no rapists and stalkers around any more. [daydreams a moment … wakes up.]

    What? Whatwhatwhat? I mean, most Nice Guys are just sort of manipulative, but this one is … ugh.

  13. 14
    nobody.really says:

    There’s also the extra level of fail in that he’s (hopefully unintentionally; not that stupidity is more excusable than the alternative, mind you) equating communists, trade unionists, and Jews with rapists, stalkers, players, and bores….

    So triple fail perhaps?

    To be precise, I sense that the author likens —
    – communists to Rapists,
    – trade unionists to stalkers, and
    – Jews to Players and bores.

    So, ok, it’s a double fail at least….

  14. 15
    Grace Annam says:

    I am in awe. So many levels of fail, so compactly. Bravo, sir. ::fingertips clap into palm:: Well done.

    You have all missed the point. It’s not meant to be taken at face value. Like Sarah Palin’s resignation speech, it can only be appreciated fully when performed by someone like … why, William Shatner! What’s that you have there?

    Thank you, Amp. I shall enshrine this on the same shelf with Sarah’s resignation speech and the whole crucifix-in-a-bottle-of-urine thing.

    Ah, it is to laugh.

    Grace

    P.S., we need a nifty-sounding word, like “entendre”, to denote a level of fail. This one could be a triple- or quadruple-. I’m stumped. Any ideas?

  15. 16
    Josh says:

    Grace, what about some of the words Mandolin invented in her critique of Sheri Tepper? “Slitherbutt! Doucheblister! A Marianas trench of tapeworms! Oh, let’s face it, I just want to spout angry gibberish at this point. Kazhagragda, vishgore, unhyrgro, fabprowse, sporfle, squamous, rugose, luftwaffe, ziggurat, lickety-split!” I’m tempted to go with “triple doucheblister,” if only ’cause it’s easy to remember.

  16. 17
    ATGGAATAA says:

    Now, I had the exact same reaction to this as I did to reading “The White Man’s Burden”. Namely, “This is satire, right?” Sadly I was and remain mistaken.

    I think we need a word for that. For something a viewpoint so extreme that it is indistinguishable from satire of that viewpoint.

  17. 18
    Reinder Dijkhuis says:

    In other words, it is in the enlightened self-interest of the Nice Guy(TM) to stick up for rapists and stalkers. How does he think that makes him look good?

  18. 19
    Megalodon says:

    I think we need a word for that. For something a viewpoint so extreme that it is indistinguishable from satire of that viewpoint.

    It’s called “Poe’s Law.”
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe%27s_Law

  19. 20
    Grace Annam says:

    Grace, what about some of the words Mandolin invented in her critique of Sheri Tepper?

    Those are worthy words, and I like many of them, but none of them roll off the tongue when combined with “double-“, “triple-” and “quadruple-“. They need to have a certain pacing, a phonetic aesthetic. DAHduh-duhDAHduhduh.

    Grace

  20. 21
    Mandolin says:

    It is my fond hope that ATGAAetc is actually the OP author, here to let us know we’ve been Poed.

  21. 22
    darkamir says:

    WTF?

    “When the Feminists came for the Rapists,
    I remained silent;
    I was not a Rapist”

    This is the one of the most disgusting things I ever heard. Maybe this is some kind of smear against men’s rights (I’m a MRA) or maybe the guy who wrote it is one huge sick asshole.