Breastfeeding and the need for strong societal support is a topic that was discussed at length in a prior post of mine, dealing with comments made by media maven Barbara Walters on her women’s talk show, The View. In the midst of the rather heated discussion, it became evident that many people aren’t aware of the numerous ways that breastfeeding can and does benefit women, children and society in general.
Knowing this, I’ve decided to compile a list of these benefits, and encourage and welcome others to add to the list. I’d also like to take a moment to encourage people who choose to read and participate in this thread to challenge their own ideas about ‘modesty’ and consider how these ideas might interfere with the larger issue of necessary support. If you get that far, please then take the time to introspect on whether you might need to do some work on incorporating new ways of thinking about this issue into your own mindset to become part of a society that understands, supports and celebrates the value of breastfeeding.
Also keep in mind that lack of support can and does perpetuate a negative feeling over an issue that new parents, especially mothers are very vulnerable about. It is all too frequent that women stop breastfeeding because they were made to feel embarassed or as if they were doing something so shameful it needed to be hidden from view. This sort of message simply isn’t healthy or productive. We as a society can improve the lives of women and children by such a small act of support which translates to acceptance and approval that helps a woman own her new post-pregnant body and it’s capabilities with pride and joy. In supporting these women, society too can feel a sense of pride and joy in our own embracing of respectful and honorable behavior towards both women and children.
*Note/Disclaimer: To make it clear in advance, this is not to say that bottle feeding parents should feel any shame for their choice (or need, whichever it was), to nourish their children through formula. As with most specifically female functions, I remain steadfast in my own feelings that it’s a woman’s body and a woman’s choice.
Benefits to the child:
- Breast milk contains all the nutrients babies need each day, plus many substances that help keep them healthy and promote optimal growth and development.
- Breastfed babies have a decreased likelihood for allergies and dental caries.
- Breastfeeding helps a baby with appropriate jaw, teeth and speech development as well as overall facial development.
- Breast milk changes and conforms to the babies needs day to day (according to some studies hour to hour!).
- The taste of breast milk changes based on the mothers diet, and help encourage lack of pickiness in particular tastes.
- Breast milk is quick and easy to digest which translates into less colic, no constipation and less spitting up.
- Due to it’s fast disgestive rate, babies who are breastfed have a smaller chance of SIDS due to a REM cycle of 45 minutes – in one study only 3 of 87 incidents of babies whom died from SIDS were breastfed.
- Breastfed babies have a reported and documented lower incidence of illness (10 time less than that of bottlefed babies), hospitalization, ear infections, bladder infections, allergies, diaper rash and exzema, lower incidence of type 1 diabetes, lower incidence in childhood cancers such as Hodgkins and lymphoma.
- Due to body proximity is more easily soothed, especially with the skin to skin contact and familiar in-utero sound of the mothers heartbeat and voice.
- Female’s that are breastfed have a significantly reduced chance of breast cancer in adulthood.
- Breastfeeding confers passive immunity to viruses.
- Breastfeeding enhances brain development, neurological development and visual development.
Benefits to the Mother:
- Breastfeeding releases oxitocin and prolactin in the mothers brain helping bonding occur (studies state similar to obsessive compulsives humorously enough).
- Breastfeeding provides the mother with a hormone-induced contentment and reduces the rate of post-pardum emotional effects.
- Breastfeeding creates efficient uterine contractions after childbirth which quickly reduces the uterus size to normal which decreases post-partum bleeding.
- Breastfeeding is convenient – the milk is pre-warmed, sterilized and always available as long as the mother is nearby!
- Breastfeeding is HUGELY cost-effective and saves families money.
- Breastfeeding helps foster confidence, body acceptance and promotion of self-esteem in new mothers.
- Breastfeeding reduces the incidence of urinary tract infections in mothers.
- Breastfeeding significantly decreases the rate of reproductive cancers in women (breast, ovarian, cervical).
- Breastfeeding lowers the incidence of chronic hepatitis among women.
- Breastfeeding reduces the risk of osteoporosis in women.
- Breastfeeding reduces the requirements of insulin for lactating diabetic mothers.
- Breastfeeding often acts as a natural form of birthcontrol (don’t count on it though!) for women. *The reliability of this goes down upon introducing other types of food into the diet.
- Since nightfeedings are easier, breastfeeding promotes a healthier sleep schedule for new parents.
- Breastfeeding is an excellent way to comfort an infant whenever they need it. *My husband and I took advantage of this after shots and during plane rides with great success!
Benefits to Society:
- It’s one step closer to helping society have respect for women and sex, instead of sexualizing and trying to control women’s bodies and the perceptions of women’s bodies.
- Breastfeeding is better for the environment because it has an absence of waste.
- Happy, contented children who are easily comforted.
- Frequently healthy children which help working parents need less time away from work (studies indicate parents of breastfed children take less time away due to sickness).
- Free’s up health resources for others who need it by naturally seeing to the babies needs.
- Promotes a sense of pride and body acceptance in women that can only be seen as a good change!
- It works hand in hand with other social programs to save money for other important needs – WIC statistics indicate that if all babies on the program in the U.S. were breastfed, our economical savings would be
- $33,000,000 per month!
- Reduced insurance premiums for child and parents.
Benefits on a plane (just for Barbara Walters!):
- Babies ears are kept equalized causing less discomfort, potential for ruptures and inflammation.
- Due to it’s ability to soothe a baby, they are less fussy and noisy (see, breastfeeding can still be all about how it affects you, Barbara, if you look at it in the right light!)
Benefits that I forgot But Others Didn’t!:
- Maynard reminds us that breastmilk bowel movements are extremely mild in scent, making the diaper changing process easier on the nose! (amen to that one, Maynard!)
- Krupskaya breastfeeding closeness and contact makes mothers and infants happy because it just feels good darnit!
- Maureen adds that breastfeeding reminds the world that breasts are amazing multi-functional tools whose success does not in any way depend on shape or size (other than inverted nipple issues), which in turn might mean less women subjecting themselves to needlessly dangerous breast augmentations.
- Barbara Preuninger mentions that breastfeeding can create a wonderful bond between parent and child unlike any other.
- CCW mentions she slept better because she could sleep through the feeding!
- Lee reminds us that breastfeeding makes mothers the lucky winners of many wonderful baby-hugs!
- La Luba relates her own experience with her daughter being born premature and the many ways breastfeeding helped her: “breastfeeding has special benefits for premature infants, including lowered incidence of RSV, respiratory ailments, necrotizing enterocolitis, and sepsis. As adults, both breastfed women and men are less likely to experience infertility.”
- Ledasmom points out that nobody appreciates a breast in a manner that promotes such healthy esteem as a baby that loves them completely and unconditionally! (to quote my own daughter, Sydney: “Bahboo?” shortly followed by amazingly happy muffled laughing)
- Ol Cranky relates that she’s heard (which I’ve read as well) that it lowers the rate of post-partum depression.
- Barbara talks about her experience with breastfeeding and it’s benefits with her preemie baby as well, and mentions that despite the odds, her daughter had extremely low incidence of illness, which she attributes to breastfeeding.
- Jodie mentions the very real and tangible benefit to the pocketbook – IT’S FREE!
- Sarah mentions that as a bystander, it’s much easier to handle a breastfeeding mother and baby than a screaming baby in distress!
*NOTE: I’ve gathered information from so many websites on the Internet, I feel the task of listing them all is extremely daunting. If you have questions or want to find more information, here are the google phrases I used: emotional benefits of breastfeeding, physical benefits of breastfeeding, breastfeeding benefits to the baby, breastfeeding benefits to the mother.
I still can’t believe that anyone would protest over someone breastfeeding on a plane. It stops the baby from crying, isn’t that what everyone on the plane wants?
The diapers of breast fed babies smell much better than those of non breast fed babies, too! This should be on the list!!
I’ve always been pro-breastfeeding. Even before it was the “IN” thing to do. Then again, I did nurse both my boys till they were both a year old. And each pregnant woman I talk to I always give them the list of whys they should do it.
BF’ing also helps regulate the mom’s body weight.
And darnit, it feels good.
It’s also nearly impossible for a baby that is nursing and taking in no other food to become constipated, although I do know one that has.
And right on about the smell. When Baby No. 2 came along, the smell made me nostalgic!
Way off topic, but: Krupskaya? Interesting choice of handles. If there was any old Bolshevik that’s gone underappreciated, it was Krupskaya.
Kim bv,
Great post! You might want to add just two thoughts.
1. Spreading the news that breasts are amazing multi-function organs whose suceess does not in any way depend upon size or shape might well help to reduce the pressure on women to expose them, possibly against their will, in other situations and/or to have them carved up by some pseudo-surgeon to conform to passing fashion or some bloke’s need to show off his trophy woman. That is, teach respect for breasts as they are.
2. Safe and sucessful formula feeding – I’ve done both – depends upon totally pure water, ready access to power or fuel and enough money to buy all the kit involved, including the formula. A very few babies require a different recipe of formula – more expensive, harder to find. So any mother whose existence is at all marginal – no access to public water supply, remote location, irregular income – is more likely to have a sickly baby who may well die young, may well cost more from society than he or she is able to contribute over a lifetime.
Brian: The way I figure it, what better name for a wanna-be-commie editor?
your list is great
Wonderful reasons, all of them. I will never fathom how anyone could object despite them.
What a wonderful list! I’m really glad you posted this.
The one criticism I’d make is really, really, really minor; you might consider using an ordered list instead of an unordered list. For some reason, lists like this sometimes seem to be more popular and spread around more when they’re numbered. I don’t know why.
I decided to breastfeed for all the reasons you mentioned above. And they were all good reasons, of course.
But in the end, the true benefit for me and my daughter was the intense bonding that resulted. I won’t even try to speak for other moms, just for myself, but I don’t think I would have cuddled and held my daughter if I hadn’t breastfed her. In some ways, I think it’s made my daughter (now 6) a lot stronger emotionally. And I feel I am much closer to her than I ever was to my own mother.
I tended to be very modest about public breastfeeding, probably only did it 2 or 3 times in an entire year. The only dirty look I got was during a time that I was absolutely desperate and at a restaraunt (we didn’t realize what kind of restaraunt it was when we went in & it wasn’t particularly kid-friendly). I tried to be as modest as humanly possible, but my breasts are relatively large and my daughter hated to have a blanket on her head. The look was from the waitress after she came over and could see me (I doubt anyone else knew.) Anyway, that incident led me to realize how important it is to change attitudes about public breastfeeding. I really didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, but I felt I had little choice at the time. People in general seemed just clueless about it.
Oops. I meant to say “cuddled and held her AS OFTEN”.
(nitpick) It’s “post partum” with a t, not a d. But otherwise, great list. It’s hard to believe that we’re still having to have this debate, and that some people actually have a problem with a mother feeding her hungry baby
Great list! I breastfed both of my children. My favorite thing was that I did not have to be coherent in the middle of the night. I could just have the baby brought to me and stay in bed.
When breastfeeding in public, I just raised my shirt. Between the baby’s head, the fabric of the shirt bunched up, and the blanket that was usually around the baby, there was nothing to see. Maybe an occassional top of the breast, but people see more in low cut tops than they do when women breastfeed.
Don’t forget the extra hugs you get when breastfeeding. I really miss that little arm around my waist.
And yeah, the night feedings are not as much as a burden – you hardly have to wake up at all. I got really good at falling asleep in the recliner, especially when the young’un was having a growth spurt and nursing, like, every 90 minutes or something.
Bless you Kim, for this list! I would also add that breastfeeding has special benefits for premature infants, including lowered incidence of RSV, respiratory ailments, necrotizing enterocolitis, and sepsis. As adults, both breastfed women and men are less likely to experience infertility.
Normalizing breastfeeding, especially in the workplace, is essential. It never ceases to amaze me that employers have no problem accommodating smokers, but bristle at accommodating breast pumping!
I’d say completely unconditional breast appreciation is a benefit.
I can pretty much guarantee that nobody, not even the most rabid boob-seeking guy, will ever appreciate breasts the way a nursing baby does. They don’t care if the breasts are small, large, droopy, lopsided. I used to wave ’em at my younger boy from across the room (only in my own home, of course) just to see his face light up.
the violent reactions i’ve seen among some people to public breastfeeding is truly one of the weirdest social phenomena i’ve ever observed. and, i might add, as good a piece of solid evidence as one might ask for to demonstrate the reality and pervasiveness of misogyny in our culture.
not only can i not understand those people, i don’t think i want to.
I believe there is some research that indicates breastfeeding may actually reduce the risk of and/or severity of postpartum depression as well.
I’m glad the post is meeting a nice reception. Thank you for the constructive criticism, as I said, with everyone’s help it hopefully will be a work in progress.
Amp, I’ll bug you on helping me get the list tightened up later – I’m not sure exactly what you mean, so I’ll need to pick your brain.
I totally had forgotten about the less offensive smelling bm’s. That one was particularly noticeable to my husband and I as well.
Ditto on benefits to premature babies. I was strongly encouraged by every nurse and doctor I spoke with to breast feed simply because my baby was premature. A preemie who ended up in daycare after a while, my daughter had zero, yes zero, ear infections and almost no illnesses in her first two years of life. These benefits actually extend beyond the period of time during which you breast feed, although they do eventually diminish.
The only possible down side is that for some babies (like mine) it can be harder to shake jaundice. But it would be rare for this to be a serious issue.
I think things must have changed in the last 20 years. I had my kids in the 80s and breastfed both, often in public. Neither kid really liked the blanket over the head so finally I just dispensed with it.
No one ever objected or asked me to go somewhere else (although it did make my mom-in-law nervous the first few times she was with me when I did it); and on several occasions, I was complimented for having breastfed in public (always by elderly women or men who commented that they missed seeing women feed their babies that way; that it was common when they were children).
Breastfeeding was easy, it was cheap, but more than anything, I loved the closeness. I worked fulltime but still managed breastfeeding on demand with the help of my employer (a medical school).
I guess I don’t understand what has changed that people are objecting now. Images we see on TV and in magazines are certainly racier than they were then.
I’ve never understood why people who want to advocate uninhibited breastfeeding in public use the reasons why breastfeeding is good as their argument. I am completely in favor of natural defecation, (also healthy and beneficial for all parties involved) but that doesn’t mean I advocate it happening in public.
I’m not saying I’m against breastfeeding, in public or in private – just that this particular argument is a non-starter.
Because if they can’t breastfeed in public, it’s very difficult to breastfeed at all.
Brian:
I don’t think that’s wholly accurate as it is possible to express into a bottle for feeding (though some children do show a marked preference for the natural nipple, sometimes pumping is more problematic for the mother & sometimes deviating from a feeding routine – even on occasion – can cause some consternation for a baby).
Can I ask a really silly question as to the coverage aspect? Aside from the points you’re getting situated at the start and end of feeding, there’s really not that much showing while the baby is nursing (maybe some mothers take everything off but I can’t imagine anyone would do that in public). So what, exactly is considered a lack of coverage?
Okay, I was just assuming. I’ve not breastfed a baby myself, and my memories of that stage of infancy are a little hazy.
“I am completely in favor of natural defecation, (also healthy and beneficial for all parties involved) but that doesn’t mean I advocate it happening in public.”
Me neither, mostly because that would be messy, smelly and unsanitary, if you mean people just defacating in the street, which is why it’s not considered acceptable any more.
However breastfeeding is none of these things. Breast milk doesn’t smell offensive, breastfeeding your baby doesn’t pose a public health risk to other people, doesn’t usually make a mess someone else has to clean up. It does no harm to anyone.
A better analogy might be eating or drinking in public, which most people consider quite normal and acceptable.
Also, of course, babies don’t care about whether you’re in a public place or not. If they need feeding, they need feeding, no arguments. I for one would rather see a breastfeeding woman in a restaurant or on a airplane, than a hungry, distressed, screaming baby.
ADS;
What Sarah said, but also, what I pointed out in the intial post. Basically recognizing it as a very good thing all around helps people get beyond personal squeams that often times result in rude behavior directed at the mother and child. This sort of behavior then ends up increasing the risk of the mother feeling uncomfortable with breastfeeding due to others placing this burden of shame or enforced sexist modesty.
By celebrating in breastfeeding and helping promote the idea that breasts in their primary role are tools for feeding babies, not playthings for sex. As a feminist and breastfeeding mother, I feel a good bit molested by the idea that men have always encouraged me to show some ‘tit’ for their pleasure, but for godsake, don’t go ruining the fantasy by showing a tit with a baby attached on. It’s a kind of societal view that imposes the idea of women’s bodies being owned by anyone but themselves, even in the most healthy of situations that would legitimately call for some exposure.
And please, please, please, people stop comparing breastmilk to feces.
Sarah (and Kim),
“Breast milk doesn’t smell offensive, breastfeeding your baby doesn’t pose a public health risk to other people, doesn’t usually make a mess someone else has to clean up.”
And all of these arguments are actual arguments for why breast feeding should be allowed in public: or, at least, why it shouldn’t be disallowed in public. The argument that breast-feeding is good and natural is not one. I do not want to compare breast feeding to feces, but when the argument that people put forward is “it’s healthy and natural,” well, it’s the obvious comparison. Many things are healthy and natural. Not all of them are appropriate for public display. One can easily support breastfeeding without feeling that the support has anything to do with what one feels about modesty.
Personally, I’d prefer it if the argument being made were that more places of business and public spaces should have areas where women can breastfeed comfortably in private, because most of the women I know would rather be able to breastfeed on demand but without necessarily exposing themselves. But that’s just me. My original point was about the logic, not about the merits of the opinion, which I agree with. I’ve never heard a person who complained about someone breastfeeding in public suggest that breast milk was in any way not the best thing for the baby: just that it wasn’t something they thought was appropriate in public. The only people I hear making that association are the people who want to breastfeed in public. I don’t understand why the conversation can’t be about the actual issue, as opposed to everything but.
ADS;
The argument addresses the ‘appropriate for public’ notion, in so much as it addresses ownership of body and when a woman can or cannot expose a certain amount of breast tissue. It also addresses how society is pushing for acceptance of nursing, but at the same time using this double standard of sexism to control how and when that nursing occurs. More control of women’s body.
Is it the breast milk, or the breast that you’re attempting to isolate as potentially unacceptible to public view?
I’ve never had any children, but I was just speaking with my mother about the merits of breastfeeding, and suddenly she goes off on a tangent about how all these “supposed” benefits of breastfeeding are a bunch of bull, ‘I used a bottle for all my children, and you’re perfectly healthy, smart,’ yadda yadda yadda. The way she responded indicated that she had gotten negative comments for *not* breastfeeding, within the last two decades. I know this is slightly off-topic, but any response?
ADS, I’d also like to point out that there actually are many people who consider breastfeeding to be abnormal and disgusting in and of itself. I know that this is completely bonkers, but it’s also true. So giving them lists of reasons why breastfeeding is actually *good* is a way to start to counteract all that nonsense surrounding the issue.
And I’m still uncomfortable with the idea that we should be pushing for private areas for breastfeeding mothers. Obviously, if some mothers prefer nursing in private, I’m not going to argue with their personal choice, but I can’t help but feel that making this the goal of breastfeeding activists is still playing along with the belief that there’s something “wrong” with breastfeeding. Anyhow, if I’m out with my friend, who just gave birth 2 months ago, and we sit down to have a coffee, I want to sit and enjoy it with her comfortably, not have to both get up and move off to some special “nursing area” (which would, of course, soon acquire an aura of perversity and “dirtiness” that accompanies most things associated with women’s natural body functions) just so the squeamish feel all’s right in their narrow-minded little world.
I don’t want to force any mother to whip ’em out in public if she doesn’t want to, but hell, maybe if society grew up a little, we might go a long way to making those same mothers more comfortable? And why should mothers who *don’t* mind still have to play into the idea that breastfeeding should be strictly private?
Amongst people who are seriously skeeved out by breastfeeding, I’ve noticed two main trends:
1. The camp that feels that breasts are sexual only; that breastfeeding is akin to incest or child molestation because it involves a child sucking on a breast, a sexual act; and
2. The camp that feels breastmilk is a disgusting bodily fluid, like snot, vomit, urine, or what-have-you; that breastfeeding is likely to cause disease amongst the public if performed in public.
That’s why I feel that Kim’s arguments are absolutely essential to the pro-breastfeeding cause! We have to de-mystify it, and that means telling the truth about it—that breastfeeding won’t make others sick, that breastfeeding is a healthy, natural way for a baby to eat, and that the primary function of breasts really is to feed babies! That breasts shouldn’t be viewed as primarily sexual (after all, we use our hands during sex too, but somehow manage to see our hands as not existing primarily for our sexual pleasure!).
Kim,
I’m attempting to isolate both the breast and the action. I believe you’re trying to isolate the milk, which is, in my experience, not the issue for people who do not feel public breastfeeding is appropriate. The people who complain about public breastfeeding do not, in my experience, say “I can’t believe she’s breastfeeding! They say “I can’t believe she’s breastfeeding at the next table while I’m trying to eat my dinner.”
And “unacceptable” and “inappropriate” are two different things, in my opinion. It is not “unacceptable” (i.e., illegal) for a person to floss their teeth in a restaurant; it is, however, inappropriate. I have in my own experience not found it to be an issue when mothers breastfed their children in the social hall of my place of worship, but have found it highly inappropriate when they did so in the sanctuary during services. These things vary from situation to situation, as I think they should. And one can have ownership of their body without exposing it, can’t they?
Crys,
“I don’t want to force any mother to whip ’em out in public if she doesn’t want to, but hell, maybe if society grew up a little, we might go a long way to making those same mothers more comfortable?”
I understand what you’re trying to say here, but sentiments like this smack of sexism to me. “If everyone grew up, women wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable about exposing themselves in public?” Yes, maybe, and maybe there are women out there who know damn well what they do and don’t feel comfortable about, and don’t need to be told what they should and shouldn’t feel about their own bodies. Why isn’t the argument about having options? Right now, in most places, there isn’t any option for breastfeeding comfortably: you either have to do it in public, where some people are offended, or you have to squeeze into a bathroom where there’s no place to sit and no place to put a diaper bag and your purse and no way your partner can help you if he’s male. Why can’t we have both comfortable options, one in public and one in private? And if we can’t, why should the one we can have be yours and not someone else’s? Modesty isn’t always about shame. Sometimes it’s just about modesty, and I don’t think we shodul discount it as an emotion just because some peopel think all modesty must be related to sexism and the inability of women to know what they want.
Anyway, I’ve strayed from my original point, which was, again, simply that the argument that breastfeeding is good and healthy isn’t going to win the fight for acceptance of public breastfeeding.
No, what it will take to win acceptance of public breastfeeding is a lot of women breastfeeding in public, and a lot of people, men and women, arguing that it’s good and healthy and people who are uncomfortable with it should learn to live with it.
Feikoi;
I think your mom’s reaction is pretty normal and based in defensiveness. I think a lot of women see the pro-breastfeeding information and suddenly feel like they are under attack for bottle-feeding. I think that had the information then what it is now, she might well have made a different choice, and she feels compelled to defend her actions, despite most people understanding that we didn’t have all the information back then. Sure, formula babies are healthy and smart, but just because it is good doesn’t mean that something else isn’t better. Regardless, formula is still an option (as well it should be), and while I’d encourage women to at least consider breastfeeding as an option when making the decision, I certainly don’t think women who choose not to should be made to feel like bad parents.
ADS;
You think God hasn’t ever seen a boobie? Sorry, couldn’t resist.
ADS, you must not be Catholic. The first shrine dedicated to the Virgin Mary in the United States was the Shrine of Our Lady of La Leche in St. Augustine, Fla., established about 1620. There’s a considerable amount of religious art in the Catholic tradition that portrays Mary breastfeeding Jesus.
With that said, I still got the hairy eyeball from the uptight set for breastfeeding during Mass. At a church dedicated to Mary. Go figure.
There’s a considerable amount of religious art in the Catholic tradition that portrays Mary breastfeeding Jesus.
With that said, I still got the hairy eyeball from the uptight set for breastfeeding during Mass. At a church dedicated to Mary. Go figure.
no shit? Please tell me you point to the aforementioned art and casually mention that Mary & Jesus lead by example (if you do that, please have a secret camcorder & post the mpeg on your site so we can all laugh at the reaction)
Ha ha! That would make a good “candid camera”, no?
I just shrugged and smiled at them. And then ignored them. I don’t really want to have to tell someone to fuck off during Mass, believe it or not. I did think it curious that the l’il one wanted to breastfeed during the hymn “Taste and See”.
“I understand what you’re trying to say here, but sentiments like this smack of sexism to me. “If everyone grew up, women wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable about exposing themselves in public?”? Yes, maybe, and maybe there are women out there who know damn well what they do and don’t feel comfortable about, and don’t need to be told what they should and shouldn’t feel about their own bodies. Why isn’t the argument about having options?”
Erm, I thought that’s what I was saying: that no woman who feels uncomfortable about doing it in public should be obliged to, but that *society* ought to change its narrow-minded ideas so that women who *don’t* mind are free to do so without facing bullshit from others. Where are there no options–and, more importantly, where the hell is the “sexism”–in that? And do you really feel that if society as a whole had a healthier attitude towards women’s bodies, at least some of those women who are currently uncomfortable about breastfeeding in public might no longer be uncomfortable? I don’t.
“Modesty isn’t always about shame. Sometimes it’s just about modesty”
When we are discussing “modesty” in terms of the body, I would have to disagree with you 100% there. That sort of modesty is, I personally believe, all about the guilt and shame imposed by certain religions’ attitudes towards the body as inherently “dirty”, “shameful” and “disgusting”. And the simple fact is that what is considered a body part to be kept under wraps in one culture can be seen displayed without the least bit of self-consciousness or notice by others in a different culture.
La Lubu: you must excuse me, but I haven’t been to Mass since my First Communion in 1972. There’s actually a hymn called “Taste and See”??? I don’t want to be offensive or anything, but that sounds it should be a snack-treat jingle!
And I do gotta add: I really don’t think that if there is/are a god/gods, she/he/however you want to conceptualise this/these being(s), they aren’t going to get bent out of shape by an exposed boob during worship. I mean, if you believe in some sort of creator, surely this creator is responsible for said boob and its function in the first place? And surely the act of a mother nourishing a child has to be considered one of the grandest, most pure human actions there could ever be?
Crys T., that particular hymn is only sung during the “contemporary choir’s” Mass; I think they borrowed it from the Episcopalians! Must be a nod toward ecumenism. “Taste and see the goodness of the Lord”. So, at the risk of revealing my pagan tendencies, my daughter was having her own communion!
And each pregnant woman I talk to I always give them the list of whys they should do it.
I have to say that, when I was pregnant, unsolicited advice was the last fucking thing I needed.
I just wanted to point out what seems to be a slight misconception about pumping breastmilk. (People say things like “why can’t she just pump milk before going out?” etc.)
Yes, it’s possible to express breastmilk with a pump. On the other hand, it’s very hard to use a pump exclusively. The amount of breastmilk you produce has to do with the “demand” of your child (i.e. your “supply” automatically increases as a response). A breast pump does not necessarily demand what an infant would demand (nor does it “drink” as quickly, so to speak).
I used a pump when I went back to work full time (starting at 6 wks old), and I found that I really needed to feed her directly every other time. I had no “extra” milk to use when we went out. Since I didn’t want to deal with disapproval for public breastfeeding (I already had enough stress in my life, quite frankly), you can imagine that we didn’t go out much.
And a general comment:
Conservatives say: “Breastfeeding is good, so that means more moms should stay at home, out of the workplace & public life (because we don’t want to see it). The moms that do this are the only ones who really care about their babies”. This artifically places the philosophy of women’s freedom (i.e. feminism) at odds with breastfeeding and babies generally. Barbara Walters sort-of plays this “fake” feminist role (though I highly doubt that’s her intention).
But the real feminist argument is that “Breastfeeding is good, that that means there should be more public support – no shame about it, support & flexibility in the workplace, etc. The societies that do this are the ones who really care about babies.”
Totally different mindset.
Pumps HURT. Especially the “manual” kind. The electric kind are expensive just to rent. Plus it’s difficult to express all the milk with a pump.
Areas “set aside” for breastfeeding are almost always in the women’s restroom. No one should have to feed a baby in a restroom. ESPECIALLY with the lack of handwashing these days (ask any infection control nurse).
I cannot for the life of me see any reason why children should not be fed when they are hungry, wherever mom happens to be. No one would look twice at a bottle — why should they look twice at breastfeeding?
It’s a child’s nourishment. It’s not sexual. GET OVER IT. People who have problems with a breastfeeding mom should STAY HOME and not go out, IMHO. That way they won’t see anything to hurt their sensibilities…and while they’re staying home, they can watch all that crap on TV that is so much better for them than the sight of a mom feeding a baby (a little sarcasm there).
GOOD GRIEF. I can’t believe anyone who has ever had a child or been a child has a problem with this.
I did sometimes pump milk to feed my first son, back when I was shy about public breastfeeding. Had a battery-operated pump that was OK, but a pain to use since the only way I could induce significant letdown was by nursing my son on the other side at the same time as pumping. Darn thing gave out eventually (though, before that happened, it was interesting to see the little independent streams of milk – not one big stream as I’d always sort of assumed).
Had better pump (Isis) with second son – extremely comfortable manual pump. Got lots of milk out. Kid would have none of it. There’s the other reason why pumping is not the answer: given the choice between silicone and nice warm flesh, plenty of babies stick with (and on) the second.
It is a mystery to me that anyone so much as takes the time to be offended by breastfeeding. Yeah, sure, that ‘s the most important thing to be offended by in modern life.
I pumped to get a ‘break’ from nursing for a four hour stretch. My husband took the middle of the night feeding with bottle and babe. I also pumped for the very rare times that we went out without Sydney and uncle Amp, aunt Bean and uncle Charles were in charge (see how I put Charles at the end, so I could reference the old sitcom? – har har).
Kim – I thought you did that so it would be “ABC” – har-de-har
Y’all really don’t see the difference between “shameful” and “private”?
Excellent post, thank you for writing this. Breastfeeding is very much a feminist issue, and I like to see it kept on the front burner.
“Y’all really don’t see the difference between “shameful”? and “private”??”
We do. But I think that many of us just don’t feel that breastfeeding should–much less needs to be–one of those “private” things. I mean, it’s feeding your kid, not engaging in full-on monkey sex with your SO on the cafe table.
ADS: but have found it highly inappropriate when they did so in the sanctuary during services.
Why? Surely breastfeeding – as several Catholics have already pointed out – is an act which is appropriate to be depicted in church. Mary feeding the infant Jesus never shows Mary with a bottle.
And I genuinely would like an answer to this one – Would you feel it was more appropriate for a breastfeeding mother to let her baby cry endlessly during services, or would you prefer her simply not to go to church services at all while she’s breastfeeding?
coming to this a bit late, I still feel like kicking in a few cents:
I really wish I could cite this, rather than just sounding dogmatic, but I recall some study that reflected that breast fed children weren’t just happier and healthier, but smarter too. I’m sure it’d make a great addition to the list if anyone else recalls the source (or if I have a chance to book hunt in the family attic for a source)
Middle of three breastfed kids, and my mom was a chapter leader for La Leche League, so I’ve heard quite alot of the benefits of breastfeeding during my life.
ADS writes:
“I have in my own experience not found it to be an issue when mothers breastfed their children in the social hall of my place of worship, but have found it highly inappropriate when they did so in the sanctuary during services. ”
Um, but you’re perfectly o.k. participating in a religion which erased women’s biological capacity with Jesus saying “Here is the bread of my body, eat of this; here is the blood of my body, drink of this.”
Wouldn’t want women’s biology to actually be accepted for what it is…
MUST. MAKE. IT. A . SIN.
Too bad Baal didn’t kick major ass, way back when.
As a breastfeeding mom, here’s what I take away from this thread. I can read; I see about 50 pro-breastfeeding posts and about 6 anti-public breastfeeding posts.
But what that says to me is that because I don’t feel comfortable inviting controversy or confrontation while I’m nursing, I will continue to feel too uncomfortable to nurse in public, except in specially designated areas. At the mall, they have handy little stalls with curtains in the family room that are perfect for breastfeeding. Except – why should I have to sit in a boring little stall with nothing to look at? Why should I have to be cramped in my too hot/too cold/out of the way car every time my baby gets hungry?
Why should my baby and I be uncomfortable and inconvenienced just because a few people have hang-ups about breasts? Get over it, people. You have sexualized breasts. You have made this into something that it’s not, and you continue to do so when you insist that breastfeeding should be “private.”
You, ADS and Elayne Riggs, are directly contributing to the sense of isolation and depression that many mothers feel. You are hurting women. You are hurting families.
Nursing is just feeding a baby. A free, quiet and mess less way of feeding your baby. Why is that ever inappropriate? And how can anybody equate it to shit and flossing the gunk out between your teeth? That’s disgusting! Nobody is talking about changing a baby’s diaper at their restaurant table or in the middle of church. Just feeding a hungry baby.
People who say nursing is okay as long as it’s done in private remind me of those folks who say they think it is okay to be gay as long as you don’t flaunt it. They do too think there’s something wrong with it or they wouldn’t be afraid to see it. It’s not the fault of mothers or their babies that people in our culture equate breasts only with sex. Why should they be made to feel ashamed?
Breastmilk also adjusts its nutrient-output to the child’s needs (i.e. more nutrients if the child is eating — sucking hard; less nutrients if the child is “comfort sucking” — sucking gently) and thus helps with weight-regulation. Less obesity! That’s a definite benefit…
All right, I have no idea why everyone thinks I’m a Christian, but I’m not.
I don’t think God cares if I expose a breast, no. Disrobing or dressing inappropriately in a sanctuary isn’t about offending or not offending God. I don’t think God cares about my showing off my upper thighs, but I still wouldn’t wear a mini while reading Torah in front of my congregation. I also don’t think God cares about whether children play loudly, but I wouldn’t allow them to do so during morning services. There are things that are appropriate in some places that are inappropriate in others: that’s sort of a basic fact of society. That which is appropriate in a park, or a swimming pool, or in your bedroom, is not always appropriate in a synagogue, or symphony hall, or restaurant.
And for everyone who thinks that modesty must always be about religion and shame and women being “dirty”: men don’t walk around with their penises exposed either, nor do they come to synagogue in short shorts or shirtless. I am not, in any way, ashamed of my body, nor do I consider it dirty, but I don’t care to expose it to everyone. That’s modesty: not shame. Plenty of people may and do feel differently about what they are comfortable with, and that’s great for them. Please don’t try to tell me that just because I and others like me don’t care to adopt your standards, there must be something wrong with us. That’s just disrespectful.
And for the last time: I am in favor of breastfeeding in public being a legal and mostly acceptable thing to do, except in certain circumstances. I just think the arguments that most of you are using to support that position are besides the point.
ADS;
You’re leaving a breastfeeding mother zero options with regards to religious worship due to feelings of what is appropriate or not. I’m not sure how exposing a breast in a synagogue is somehow inappropriate, except that you’re equating it with sexual and revealing styles of dress, which again is squarely smacking of objectifying breasts as first and foremost sexual tools rather than tools of nutrition for children.
You’re also mischaracterizing breasts in the same catagory as penises. Breast is to male breast as penis is to vagina.
Apologies, ADS, I jumped to conclusions. (Though Mary was a nice Jewish girl, after all.)
But I’d still like you to answer my questions – which you didn’t.
What do you believe is appropriate behaviour for a woman who’s breastfeeding: to refrain from coming to services, or to let her child cry with hunger?
“And for everyone who thinks that modesty must always be about religion and shame and women being “dirty”?: men don’t walk around with their penises exposed either, nor do they come to synagogue in short shorts or shirtless.”
And that is because of religious ideas of the HUMAN BODY as “dirty”, (not just the female body (though of course the female body is “dirtier”). You’re saying basically, “This is the way things are” without examining *why* things are that way. Why is it okay to wear a mini in some contexts but not others? There’s no natural law that states that, it’s the result of societal taboos and other proscriptions that come from *somewhere*.
As ADS has said herself, it’s not about offending God, it’s about what’s “appropriate”–in other words, it’s about what *other people* would think. IMHO, more to the point, it’s about *why* they would think it. I have to admit to not being religious myself, but I have to ask: if your god(s) don’t care, why on earth should any person?
“I also don’t think God cares about whether children play loudly, but I wouldn’t allow them to do so during morning services.”
I’m in 2 minds about this one, because I also believe our society is fucked up regarding children, but I do have to admit that there’s a possibility your children playing loudly are potentially disturbing others. Whether God necessarily cares about that is probably debatable, but I suppose you could construct an argument about the religious implications of consideration for others. On the other hand, a mother quietly feeding her baby is disturbing only those who are prurient enough to insist on looking at her.
“Please don’t try to tell me that just because I and others like me don’t care to adopt your standards, there must be something wrong with us. That’s just disrespectful.”
I get a bit tired of having this sort of turning-round of the original argument: the fact the some of us are pointing out that we live in a totally fucked-up society that has ridiculous issues about the human body somehow means we’re disrespecting YOU. Er, come again? No, that won’t wash. No one is saying that if you don’t immediately fling off every stitch and dance down Main Street at high noon you are an inhibited mouse. No one is saying you have to do a damn thing you don’t want to. But that doesn’t mean that I am barred from giving my point of view about exactly why I feel society is fucked up. And MUCH LESS does it mean that a nursing mother should behave in those idiosyncratic and, to many of us, totally capricious ways that society deems she should WHEN THERE IS NO REAL REASON OTHER THAN OTHER PEOPLE’S HANG-UPS for it.
It’s as simple as that.
“And for the last time: I am in favor of breastfeeding in public being a legal and mostly acceptable thing to do, except in certain circumstances.”
But you’re not willing to analyse *why* those “certain circumstances” deserve special attention. And also, you don’t explain why on earth any of the rest of us should agree with you. These circumstances are just “special” cos they ARE and if we don’t accept that at face value we’re “disrespecting” you.
Look, to me it’s simple. And I admit that may be because I’m an atheist, so though I carry cultural baggage, I don’t have any religion to add to it. But still, I don’t see why your particular definitions of “appropriate” should bind atheist mothers, mothers of religions different to your, or even Jewish mothers who see things differently to you.
I can’t comment on what goes on in the context of religious services, but out in the public world, the answer to me is quite easy: If you don’t like breastfeeding in front you, look the other way. Or get your own arse up and move somewhere else. And most importantly, admit that it’s YOU who has the problem, not the mother.
And for everyone who thinks that modesty must always be about religion and shame and women being “dirty”?: men don’t walk around with their penises exposed either, nor do they come to synagogue in short shorts or shirtless.
In other words, breastfeeding is a sexual display, like flashing a penis or wearing short-shorts; it’s also casual and disrespectful, like showing up for services in in appropriate clothing.
Breastfeeding is an excellent reason for women to wear tallit.
Great list!
Breastmilk also benefits preemies because the milk that a woman produces after giving birth prematurely has a higher fat content than the milk of women who deliver at term, which helps premature babies gain the extra weight they need.
Breastfeeding can be done more easily with one hand (or with no hands if the baby is in a sling), which makes it possible for mothers to do other things like eat, write checks, type at the computer, or tickle a four-year-old while nursing the baby.
Realizing that you can provide your child with complete nourishment without needing the help of multinational corporations is incredibly empowering.
Regarding nursing in public, providing private nursing areas would still mean that women would have to interrupt what they are doing whenever the baby needs to nurse. One of the places I often had to nurse my babies was while waiting in line at the bank or elsewhere. If there had been a designated nursing area, would I have given up my place in line to go and nurse? NO!!!!
At church, I had the upper hand because I am the church organist. I nursed my little ones while I played the organ. Nobody made a stink about it. There were some people that didn’t like it, but they knew me and they knew that given a choice I would leave my post at the organ and go nurse my baby. Have a nice service without me!
Any place it is appropriate to feed a baby with a bottle is an appropriate place to breastfeed a baby. Period.
Thank you so for this list. What a wonderful answer to Ms. Walters horrid ranting.
From a breastfeeding momma of a 10m old,
Gaia
Breastfeeding has changed my entire outlook! It has huge psychological effects on the mother that cannot be explained, only experienced. I’m calling on all of you to support efforts that promote breastfeeding. In Kentucky we’re gearing up for legislation to protect our rights to breastfeed. For more info: http://www.breastfeedingkentucky.com!