Thanks to a friend who had been watching TV and come across a new documentary called ‘We Are Dad’, I recently became acquainted with a story of discrimination that is both heart-wrenching and inspiring. Perhaps some of you are already familiar with the case, but like myself, I’m sure some of you aren’t. At any rate, it’s worthy of shining the spotlight on it in hopes that more people will continue being vocal about the prejudices gays and their families face from the rabid right.
The story itself is about a gay couple Steven Lofton and Roger Croteau and their five HIV-positive foster children. In a recent article at Gay & Lesbian Times, the background of the story is given along with an interview of the director of ‘We are Dad’. Three of the children began their fostering in Florida, the prior residence of Lofton and Croteau before they made the cross country move to Portland, Oregon due to the need to be closer to Lofton’s elderly parents three years ago. Upon taking up residence, their family swelled to five children, though the three fostered out in Florida remained subject to the Florida laws and supervision.
Here’s where the story gets ugly. Apparently Bert, age 10, one of the three Florida children they have fostered since infancy has stopped testing positive for HIV, so Florida has deemed him adoptable. The kicker being that Florida is the only state that has a blanket ban on gay adoptive rights, which the Supreme Court has refused to consider:
On Jan. 10, the United States Supreme Court refused to hear the case of Lofton v. State of Florida, which challenged Florida’s ban on adoption by gay couples. The court declined by a 6-6 vote to reconsider an earlier 2-1 decision in 2004 by a three-member panel of the appeals court in Atlanta, Ga., which upheld the law. The ACLU, who filed challenge to the law in 1999, asked the Supreme Court to hear the appeal.
Florida is the only state with a blanket law prohibiting gays and lesbians from adopting children, and it stems from Anita Bryant’s 1977 “Save Our Children” campaign, which repealed the Dade County gay rights law. Bryant’s actions built an impetus against gay adoption in Florida.
Apparently to the people claiming to fight for ‘family values’, the only time it’s okay for children to be in long standing custodial supervision of gays is when the child is tainted with an ailment that makes them less normal. According to Lethimstay.com, a website dedicated to raising awareness of the struggles in the gay parenting community with regards to fostering and adoptions, it seems that since Bert is now a healthy adoptable child, the family that raised him is no longer suitable for him:
Every few weeks, a letter comes from the state, giving an update on the status of finding another family to adopt Bert. Because he no longer tests positive for HIV and is under the age of 14, Bert is deemed “adoptable.” Steve and Roger are legally prohibited from adopting him because of Florida’s ban. So the state continues its effort to find him another home, even though this is the only family he’s ever known…even though, like all five of the kids, he’s already home.
Anyways, I’d encourage people to take a look at this website and catch the documentary ‘We Are Dad’ if you can.
Quite apart from the vileness of a gay adoption ban (and I thought we were mediaeval for only letting one half of a gay couple adopt), what the hell is with classifying an HIV-positive kid as not “adoptable”? I don’t imagine all such kids are lucky enough to end up in the long-term care of two loving parents…
True that. It seems as if they have some sort of ‘blue book’ value placed on the children with regards to being adoptive.
I wonder if they also have qualifiers that include race, sex and age of the children.
This is an important story to debunk the myth that somehow gays and lesbians are favored in adoption and foster parents, a myth perpetuated by folks like Maggie Gallagher and Eve Tushnet. Gallagher is so convinced of it she pumped out a study by Catholic University “pro-family” group to institute some sort of married parents preference, despite a single shred of evidence that married paretns aren’t already preferred.
This is an important story to debunk the myth that somehow gays and lesbians are favored in adoption and foster parents, a myth perpetuated by folks like Maggie Gallagher and Eve Tushnet. Gallagher is so convinced of it she pumped out a study by Catholic University “pro-family” group to institute some sort of married parents preference, despite a single shred of evidence that married paretns aren’t already preferred.
Couldn’t someone make a mercy-adoption of the boy and then give full custody to his dads?
B, if the bureaucrats would allow that, they probably wouldn’t have made an issue of this in the first place.
Because he no longer tests positive for HIV and is under the age of 14, Bert is deemed “adoptable.”
Since Bert was born in 1991, he would turn 14 this year. I’m curious how this changes the argument. If he is no longer “adoptable” at 14, what is his status under Florida law? I didn’t come across anything addressing this when I read. Just curious if anyone knows how this changes things.
They certainly are an extraordinary family. I wish I had Showtime.
I’m with B. I think some cooperative couple should adopt the boy and let him stay with his dads.
B and Helen, I really don’t think you can adopt a child and then give it over like a car you’ve bought to anyone you want. Adoption does not work like that, nor parenting in general. I agree that this is a total travesty. I don’t see how this is in anyway in the best interests of the child. And yes, why are children who need MORE care deemed ok for lesbians, gays and singles to care for, rather than the stereotypical straight couple? Seems that if lesbians and gays are so bad at parenting they should get the children that have no special needs at all. No. It is a situation of placing the “least desirable” children with the “least desirable” parents. The hypocrisy is galling.
I am so glad this film is sparking conversation. For those of you who do not have Showtime, there is a web site for the film: It is http://www.tavrohfilms.com and the DVD is now available.