The Few, The Proud, The Wimps

I’m oddly proud to see that Oberlin College (where I enjoyably wasted some of my younger years) is number five on ESPN’s ten “Worst college football teams of all time.”

In 1994, Oberlin went 0-9, giving up 358 points and scoring only 10. In 1995, the Yeoman were outscored 469-72. After losing 56-0 to Allegheny in one 1992 game, the Yeoman had so few players they had to forfeit their next game against Wittenberg — and the forfeit turned out to be one of their finest outings. “Nobody got hurt,” one school official told Sports Illustrated. “And a forfeit shows up as a 6-0 loss in the books, which was better than most of our scores.” Swarthmore and Oberlin scheduled a 1999 matchup just so one of them would end their losing streak. Swarthmore succeeded, while Oberlin marched on, not ending a 40-game skid until October 2001.

Personally, I think “at least nobody got hurt” would be a great slogan for the team. I am, however, disappointed that there have been four teams even worse than ours. Oh, well, can’t lose ’em all.

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