Transracial Adoption, Interracial Families, and Social Change

In my last post on transracial adoption (TRA), I discussed how popular media outlets cover transracial adoption. I argued that the current framing sets up several false dichotomies that further racism and white supremacy. In the process, I ruffled a few feathers. I noticed several of the commenters (especially on Alas) were offended that I challenged the way that media outlets cover TRA. In this post, I suppose I’ll ruffle a few more feathers because this time I will speak more directly about transracial and interracial families (through adoption, marriage, cohabitation, procreate, etc.), not so much the media framing of transracial/interracial families but rather what the increase in transracial/interracial families does and does not tell us about social change.

I would like to start by clarifying my personal position on TRA and interracial families more broadly. I do not oppose transracial (TR) or interracial (IR) families/relationships. I think from a sociological perspective TR and IR families are neither good nor bad. I suppose some people may be surprised that I do not label TR/IR families as “good” given the general posts I have put up on interracial relationships. Ideally, what I would like to see is a point where TR/IR families are viewed as unremarkable and normal—a point that we are a long way away from. The current liberal discourse sets up TR/IR families as “celebrations of diversity” or the “promise of the future,” but this is problematic for several reasons.

First, off both TR and IR families can be and often are both agents of change and promoters of the status quo. Our families can reiterate racism or challenge it. In fact, there are whole societies in Latin American where interracial families are common place, but racism is still firmly entrenched. A quick glance of the elite’s in Latin America reveal that those who are whiter and lighter hold the highest positions and the most power. I think the increasing number of TR/IR families here in the US does signify a change in our racial ideology, but it does not signify the coming end of racism. In my own research on heterosexual IR couples, I found many people who were in interracial relationships and were more than willing to reiterate racist sentiments—i.e. black men are good in bed, black women are bitchy, biracial children are messed up.

My second concern is consistent with the views expressed over at Mixed Media Watch. Jen and Carmen have argued on more than one occasion that viewing multiracial people as the hope of an anti-racist future puts a great deal of added pressure on mixed race people. I think this is true more broadly for TR/IR families. While we may feel an extra burden to fight racism because our families are marginalized, the burden to fight racism really needs to be spread throughout the society as a whole (not just people of color and TR/IR families). Seriously, who made TR/IR families racial experts? Many of us are no more educated about race than the average American; we may have valuable experiences to share and some of us certain do grapple more with the politics of racism, but this should not be assumed.

My third concern is that an increasing number of TR/IR families see their experiences as somehow unrelated to those of people of color more broadly. The people who believe this way believe that they are facing discrimination primarily because their families are TR/IR, not because the long history of white racism in this country has promoted the notion of distinct biological races. While I don’t expect everybody in TR/IR relationships to take up the mantle of anti-racism, I do find it particularly offensive when people in TR/IR families support racist causes or engage in behavior that is generally degrading to people of color. I personally know transracial adoptees whose white parents have made degrading or racist comments or whose parents didn’t know quite what to tell them about why people at school were calling them names. I know of biracial people whose parents have explicitly directed them not to marry into a particular racial group. When TR/IR families engage in this sort of behavior, they set racial progress back.

TR/IR families are frequently under the microscope, and our lives and decisions are often scrutinized by everyone. For many of us this leads to a constant desire to prove that we are normal, that we are not racist, that we love everyone, that we haven’t sold out our own group, that our children won’t be messed up, or that we can handle anything that comes our way. Because we are constantly scrutinized, many of us get tired and defensive. Even though it is hard to do, I think it is important to understand that critiquing racism is not the same as critiquing TR/IR families. So when I say we need to stop viewing TRA as blacks vs. whites and the media needs to stop perpetuating this, I’m not saying TRA is wrong and IR families are bad or anti-black (incidentally some are and some aren’t). These criticisms are directed at the structure of our social institutions not individual TR/IR families. They are commentaries on society as a whole and how racism affects the lives of people. Sometimes we (TR/IR families) spend an inordinate amount of time trying to prove just how normal/mainstream we are. In my own research I heard many people say, we are normal; we are just like everybody else. My sense is that when it comes to TR/IR families we are like all others, some others, and no others all at the same time.

It’s certainly great that TR/IR families now have the right to exist and be recognized, and unfortunately, our society is generally not accepting of our relationships. I suppose this is part of the reason most of my posts are very light on identifying common problems in IR relationships. Most of the time I focus on the problems created by people outside of the TR/IR relationship; however, TR/IR families exist in that outside world, too. We are not above critique–individually or collectively, and in reality we will know we are making progress when we can look at our relationships without having to be defensive. I know we are not there yet, but I would like to push people in that direction.

I worry when we hold ourselves up as the ultimate symbol of progress, when we become overly exuberant and, on rare occasions, go so far as to say our families are better. TR/IR families are not the bellwethers that signal the end of racism. Do they signal a change in our racial ideology? Yes, but we cannot make assumptions about what that change will be and whether or not it will be for the better or the worse. I know that may seem pessimistic to some, but we do have examples in Latin America that show us that interracial families and multiracial people will not lead to the end of racism. TR/IR families shouldn’t be blamed for that any more than anyone else.

(Side Note: I think I could have written a very similar article about same gender families and relationships. I think the idea that same gender relationships inherently challenge sexism is false for some of the same reasons mentioned above.)

I also wanted to add several links to posts on transracial adoptions and interracial relationships.

Republic of T on adopting a black child

Transracial Abductees
a site written by a woman who was adopted by white parents and opposes many aspects of TRA

Harlow Monkey
discussions some of the dynamics of interracial families

Daddy, Papa, and Me
numerous posts on being a transracial adoptive parent

This Woman’s Work
another site run by a parent of a transracially adopted child

Ghetto Gold Naro% has you tube links to stories about TRA (they sooo back up my previous post)

Here’s My Post at Alas It’s worth it to read the comments because they were very different than those on my site.