Michele Bachmann Keeps Talking

Is it me, or is Our Michele suddenly everywhere? And can we get her to not be?

Taking it in reverse order, earlier today she launched into a hateful anti-gay diatribe, which, while overshadowed by Rep. Virginia Foxx’s lies, still managed to draw the tired comparison between homosexuality and pedophilia.

That statement came a day after Bachmann noted how interesting it was that the last swine flu outbreak came during the Carter Administration, which was a) not interesting and b) not factually correct, since the outbreak started during the Ford Administration.

But really, nothing could top This grand history lesson:

Yes, that’s Michele Bachmann talking about how Franklin Roosevelt signed the Hoot-Smalley act, which destroyed our nations and gave the Russians our precious bodily fluids. Of course, the disastrous Smoot-Hawley tariffs were signed into law by Herbert Hoover, but as noted with regard to swine flu, the Gentlelady from Stillwater isn’t so clear on when things happened.

Incidentally, then-Sen. Reed Smoot, R-Utah, the co-author of the bill, also was a great opponent of pornography. This predilection inspired Ogden Nash to write one of my favorite poems, which is included below the fold.

(SMOOT PLANS TARIFF BAN ON IMPROPER BOOKS – News Item)

Senator Smoot (Republican, Ut.)
Is planning a ban on smut.
Oh rooti-ti-toot for Smoot of Ut.
And his reverend occiput.
Smite, Smoot, smite for Ut.,
Grit your molars and do your dut.,
Gird up your l__ns,
Smite h_p and th_gh,
We’ll all be Kansas
By and by.

Smite, Smoot, for the Watch and Ward,
For Hiram Johnson and Henry Ford,
For Bishop Cannon and John D., Junior,
For ex-Gov. Pinchot of Pennsylvunia,
For John S. Sumner and Elder Hays
And possibly Edward L. Bernays,
For Orville Poland and Ella Boole,
For Mother Machree and the Shelton pool.
When smut’s to be smitten
Smoot will smite
For G-d, for country,
And Fahrenheit.

Senator Smoot is an institute
Not to be bribed with pelf;
He guards our homes from erotic tomes
By reading them all himself.
Smite, Smoot, smite for Ut.,
They’re smuggling smut from Balt. to Butte!
Strongest and sternest
Of your s_x
Scatter the scoundrels
From Can. to Mex!

Smite, Smoot, for Smedley Butler,
For any good man by the name of Cutler,
Smite for the W.C.T.U,
For Rockne’s team and for Leader’s crew,
For Florence Coolidge and Admiral Byrd,
For Billy Sunday and John D., Third,
For Grantland Rice and for Albie Booth,
For the Woman’s Auxiliary of Duluth,
Smite, Smoot,
Be rugged and rough,
Smut if smitten
Is front-page stuff.