Wow. So, just for future reference, if you’re a politician with national electoral aspirations who is cheating on your spouse with an Argentine national, here’s how you don’t want to handle things:
- Drive your state-issued vehicle to an out-of-state airport without telling anyone.
- Fly to Buenos Aires, turning off your cell phone so nobody can get in touch with you.
- Force your staffers to blatantly make up possible places you could be, like, say, hiking on the Appalachian Trail.
- Force your spouse — who you’re still married to, despite the affair that you’ve admitted to — to lie in order to cover for you. (Bonus points if your spouse, being angry over the whole cheating-on-you thing, gives transparently and intentionally weak and contradictory excuses, like saying you’re writing a novel while your staffers are saying you’re hiking.)
- When you finally do get in touch with someone, don’t give them any information that will help them spin this.
I won’t cry for Mark Sanford. He’s a major-league douchebag who had to be sued to keep from throwing thousands of families off of unemployment. That he has no personal family values is of a piece with his not valuing the families in his state. His political career is effectively over now; I can’t imagine any scenario in which a guy who would flame out this spectacularly comes back from this. If he’s lucky, he manages to hold on to office without being thrown out — not because he had an affair, which should not be a firing offense, but because the events surrounding it are so bizarre and memorable.
Who does this benefit? Well, it helps the inexplicable candidacy of Haley Barbour for the presidency, clearing out a southerner who was in his way. It helps Tim Pawlenty, who was going to have to jockey with Sanford to get out of the second-tier of potential GOP candidates. It helps Jenny Sanford win her divorce case. And it helps the people of South Carolina, whose douchebag of a governor is no longer politically viable on the national stage. Without the presidency to shoot for, maybe Sanford will stop playing politics with the lives of the people of his state, and start worrying about doing the right thing.
Once the original report of the missing governor came out, was anybody surprised by the ending? Sure, Argentina was surprising, but did anybody really think it was anything other than an affair? My family immediately called for the forthcoming tearful apology. Except Sanford’s such a bastard that there weren’t any tears.
Sure, Argentina was surprising, but did anybody really think it was anything other than an affair?
Because of the weird way the news was coming out and conflicting stories about his whereabouts, I thought maybe he’d had a breakdown of some sort, just had to get away from everything and took off. I was feeling kind of bad about all the people making jokes about it when we didn’t know what had happened, and I was thinking about the times I’ve gone through that with people in my family, the difficulty of knowing what to say or how to explain to employers and friends who had no idea the person had been struggling with mental health issues. And I was thinking how much worse it would be to go through that in public.
I was kind of irritated when it turned out to be just an affair – like the way you feel mad at someone who made you worry about them when really they were fine – which, yes, I recognize that’s a ridiculous thing to feel about a politician who I only vaguely know as a talking head for the Republican side, but nonetheless.
No, there were tears.
I actually found Sanford’s situation kind of refreshing after all the canned dodging and apologies and ugh, worst of all, the “stand by your man” requirement for political wives. He didn’t have a prepared statement, he was just all over the place, which made him sound freakishly sincere for a politician. I just hope Jenny Sanford runs for his office; I’m so grateful that there’s finally been a wife who said, “You’re on your own with this particular appearance, bubba.”