It is a truth universally acknowledged that when three or more black women are engaged in conversation for more than fifteen minutes, they will start to exchange hair-care tips.
Honestly, it’s uncanny. And in the spirit of that, here’s some of my ABW tips for Going into Battle with Your Natural Hair. (For the record: I love my hair, I do. But I admit that dealing with it can feel a tad antagonistic).
Nothing against texturizers, relaxers, hot combs and all other manner of hair-taming devices, but I ditched those years ago after I got sick and tired of watching my hair break off. If you do use a texturizer, may I suggest the Creme of Nature mild relaxer. Do it very carefully, as it’s a lye-based relaxer and will burn your scalp, but it’s actually paradoxically much easier on your hair than a no-lye relaxer. Don’t leave it in too long, seriously! But I used it for years and it was the only thing that worked on my shorter hair.
First, a description of my hair-type, to clarify whether or not any of this will be useful to you. My hair is long– about touching the end of my tail bone if I stretch it out. It used to be nappier when it was shorter and I was younger. For the last several years it’s been significantly easier to get through– I suspect that’s because once it got past a certain length, it started to grow differently. Still, it can get pretty nappy.
So, going into battle.
My chosen arena: The shower. I put in gobs of conditioner, wait a bit, and then comb it out with the conditioner still in, under running water.
My weapon of choice: A fro-pick, of course. And, equally important, a heavy boar-bristle brush, like this one.
My armor of choice: A good, heavy, moisturizing conditioner, like Herbal Essences. Shampoo only in small amounts about once a week.
The terms of surrender (uh, sorry, this metaphor is getting a little belabored): At the moment, I’m using great globs of beeswax, purchased from my local black hair care emporium. I have previously employed Mane ‘n Tail Leave-In Conditioner, which doesn’t work too well as an in-shower conditioner, but is a great, heavy moisturizer that prevents untamed fly-away afro-puffs and those giant knots you cry over in the shower.
Frequency of battle: About every other day, though sometimes I’ll use a do-rag/put my hair in a bun for a third day if I don’t want to deal with it.
Other tactical considerations: I use big hair clips to keep my hair up after I wash, comb and moisturize it. I have discovered that the longer I let my hair take to dry, the more manageable it stays. Sometimes I want the giant afro look, and then I’ll let it dry right out of the shower. But otherwise, I let it dry over the course of a day. That night, I put it in two braids, where it dries completely. And then the next day I have hair that looks nice, isn’t too tangled, and doesn’t break when I comb it in the shower the next morning.
Other products I have tried:
Frizz-ease– Didn’t work at all. Leaves my hair way too stiff and brittle. I want to prevent the ends from splitting, people!
Deva Curl “No-poo” cleanser– Expensive, but this is great! I couldn’t believe how easily I got the pick through my hair after using this stuff. Wow!
Deva Curl “Set Up and Above”– Not so great. I need waay more moisturizer in my hair creams. Left my hair feeling brittle and sticky. See: Frizz-ease.
Hair mayonnaise– Gross. I know some people swear by this stuff, but it smells funny and doesn’t actually seem to weigh my hair down enough.
Other products I want to try:
Anything by Miss Jessie’s. Anyone used this stuff? It’s expensive, but that Curly Meringue looks like hair-cream heaven.
Good luck! And if you have any tips for me, I want to hear ‘em.
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I’m not of African descent, but have some similar issues with unmanageable hair (mine is very curly and very breakable — I use a handful of conditioner every other day, and cannot use a hair dryer on it). As I’ve gotten older, I’ve given up on trying to use a brush or comb on my hair — unless I already de-tangled and smoothed it out by hand, the brush/comb will just break a lot of my hair and make it stick up more, and once I’ve basically finger-combed it, what’s the point of using a real comb?
My mom’s hair is very similar to mine, and she keeps telling me to use olive oil on my hair, but I’m grossed out by the idea of leaving a foodstuff in my hair all day long.
I’m white, but Jesus that’s starting to sound like my hair. I think it’s the weather here — the aridity or the hard water or something is causing my hair to be dry and frizzy and to tangle like crazy with knots that no brush can handle. I’m hating all my hair products, too — maybe I’ll try some of the ones you suggest.
(My hair has always been cantankerous, but it can be soothed by humidity. I hate it, but my hair loves it. This desert locale has inspired all of my hair’s worst behaviors.)
Do there tend to be similarities between Jewish hair and black hair? I feel like I’ve read people making comparisons in terms of curliness, but not necessarily texture?
Mandolin and PG, I think we all have similar hair. I just found the best stylist ever and he taught me a routine that’s working really well so far:
1. Put some conditioner on *before* you get your hair wet.
2. When it’s wet, comb the conditioner through (I use my fingers) and add more until it feels nice and silky.
3. When you rinse, leave about half of the conditioner in.
4. He sold me some stuff called Deva Curl “Set It Free,” which is a moisturizing spray. Spray it in while your hair is dripping wet. If you use gel, spray a little more on after you’ve styled your hair.
I’ve heard the olive oil trick, too, but I haven’t tried it yet.
I have never had hair that knotted up and all of the sudden it does now. This is a huge shock to me. I even had to cut some out the other day. So it looks like I have a huge learning curve. I have no idea why this is happening. To top it all off I have dry hair, but a greasy scalp, which means I shampoo every other day (and they day I don’t shampoo, I worry / obsess that my head smells bad.
This was a great read; I will have to check some of these products out. Thank you!
I’ve the curly, coarse, dry Jewish hair, too. The products that worked best for me are Trader Joe’s store-brand conditioner. It was the only reasonably-priced one that seemed thick enough to stick to the strands, and thus you use less, making it an even better deal on top of the price.
For “after shower”, Potion #9 was recommended by the hairdresser, and seems to do the trick. Beauty supply shops carry a “generic” version for a decent price. And then there’s Catwalk’s Curls Rock, which I’ve found available at a lot of stores and in some unexpected places. I liked that one but could never find a bottle big enough to not have to replace it every other week.