Avoiding rape and "common sense"

In the comments to an earlier post – one which made fun of the idea that by entering a man’s hotel room, a woman has consented to sex – “Rap” wrote:

If a woman has no intention of having sex of any type with a certain man on particular evening in his hotel room then she can absolutely 100% without any doubt eliminate that possibility if she simply chooses to not go to the man’s hotel room.

Why is basic common sense no longer applicable in this situation?

If a person has no intention of getting shot on a certain street known for nightly shootings then that person, even if they have the right to walk down that street, can absolutely 100% without any doubt eliminate the possibility of being shot on that street if they simply choose to not walk on that street at night.

And why is basic common sense more applicable in this situation, as it always is?

Get a grip.

The thing is, “common sense” doesn’t begin and end with not going to a man’s hotel room alone, does it?

If women avoid doing all the things that they’re supposed to avoid doing in the name of “common sense” measures to avoid rape – if women don’t let themselves ever be alone in a room with a man they don’t know well, if they never walk alone at night or on isolated roads, if they never go to an empty bus station or subway terminal and never ride in an empty train car, and never walk alone in a public garage, never drink in a bar alone, never get drunk at a frat party (actually, better not attend the frat party in the first place!), and of course never wear tight clothing, etc etc…

If a woman actually obeyed all those “common sense” rules, it would be an awful lot like a life lived under house arrest, wouldn’t it?

Suggesting people should avoid walking down murder row is reasonable. Suggesting women should avoid the world – which is what all those “common sense” strategies boil down to – is not reasonable.

(And the wacky punchline to all this? Even if a woman obeys every single rule for avoiding rape, she still might get raped.)

I do think women – like everyone else – should exercise some common sense for self-protection. But in the final analysis, changing women’s behavior isn’t a promising anti-rape strategy. I’d rather discuss ways of changing men’s behavior. Rapists are by and large male, after all..

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Iranian-American women moving back to Iran

I haven’t run into Bad Jens before, which is a shame for me. It’s an English-language, Iranian feminist online journal. “Jens” means, roughly, “gender.” Bad means “bad,” and said as one word “badjens” means sly or disreputable.

The two pieces I just read – one an interview with performance artist Rbshapour, one an essay – both focus on the experience of Iranian-American woman living in Iran after spending nearly their whole lives in the United States. From the essay “The Practice of Control” by Nina Farnia (by the way, I suspect these links will go bad as soon as the seventh issue comes out; if the links don’t work for you, just go to the Bad Jens homepage and look in the archive in the sixth edition for these articles):

Once they had me to themselves, I discovered how worried my extended family was that I’m not married, not very interested in marriage at the moment, and not making the husband search a first priority. Most of their concern came from a sense of my vulnerability. A woman with a man by her side is always perceived to be safer, whether walking on the street or sitting home at night. And a man could provide the protection my life was seemingly lacking. Smoking in public, being on the streets at night, laughing unself-consciously- if done alone, these are things that might lead people to think a woman is a prostitute or a slut, and which lessen her safety. Of course, I don’t want to make Tehran seem like some sort of madhouse of sex and violence. It’s no different than any other big city around the world. […]

It is true that to be a woman out alone at night is dangerous. What else is new? I wonder if the world weren’t so dangerous for women, would these limits be placed upon our lives? Or is the world dangerous for women so these limits can be placed upon our lives? Regardless of the answer, in both cases my body is being controlled in ways that my male counterpart’s is not. And so I have to ask: Should I change my life so as not to accommodate the rapists and misogynists out there? Should I change my habits, my ways of life, because people “think things” Is culture and heritage so important to our lives that it should govern our decisions, even when we disagree? Is violence so prevalent?

In the United States, it’s all different. Just as in Iran, a girl is either easy, a slut, a whore, a prostitute, a nice girl, a tease, a virgin, a prude, etc. But different from Iran, these images and words are produced by television, the internet, movies, pornography. In Iran, the prominent image of the girl/woman is that of a nice, demure lady, protected either by her father or her husband. In the United States, the prominent image of the girl/woman is highly sexual: bouncing breasts in MTV videos, long-lasting makeup in Revlon commercials, plastic surgery ads in our newspapers, and let’s not forget, porn. These images often give the impression that this is how women want to be. I often had discussions with my male peers at college who seemed to think that women in porn videos enjoy what they do. But it is hard to believe that a woman would want to be partnered with an animal, or have a dick in every orifice in her body.

I came across this article while readnig a Ms. Magazine discussion board thread, provocatively entitled “we might mutilate our breasts and faces, but at least we don’t wear headscarves.” I particularly like Echidne’s comment on that thread:

It’s not good that women feel they have to lop off parts of their feet or have silicone breasts to be acceptable, but it’s not the same as a society where it would be a crime not to have your feet cut or your breasts enlarged.

The basis for all this stuff and the headscarves is ultimately the same, I believe, and it is women’s sexuality, as seen from the outside. The headscarf says that this sexuality is one man’s private property, whereas the body fixing says that this sexuality is all men’s property. I think that this sexuality should be the woman’s own property, to display or not as she chooses. Some women might still have surgery and others wear veils, but it would be their own choice.

The interview with Rbshapour was also interesting. Here’s a passage, from near the beginning, in which Rbshapour explains why she decided to move to Iran after spending her entire life since early childhood in the United States.

RS: I needed to explore the dimensions of my identity or culture. I needed to find certain ingredients of my makeup that were still ambiguous to me. When I was coming back, I would tell my friends that I wanted to go someplace where I looked like everybody else. That’s important to every person of color who has lived in the US. It doesn’t matter what culture you’re from – it’s something that speaks to you. And I wanted to experience what it was like to live someplace where people wouldn’t react to the color of my hair. (They can’t see it here. [laughs])

I wanted to know what it was like to go to a store, and not have the clerk follow me because I didn’t have blond hair and blue eyes.

TZ: And did you find that here?

RS: Of course not. Because the female experience here is very much like the experience of being a person of color in the America. And while store clerks no longer follow me around, there are other things at play here. They have to do with your mobility.

.

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Welcome PinkDreamPoppies

I keep forgetting to mention: PinkDreamPoppies has been upgraded from “guest blogger” to, well, just plain “blogger.” My only regret is that PDP (like Bean) doesn’t post as often as I’d like to read. Welcome, PDP..

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The new draft: Soldiers forced to serve beyond their time

Via Light of Reason, this article describes the way Bush has been forcing members of the U.S. military to serve far beyond what they thought they’d agreed to:

There is no congressional debate, and no new law is passed for the President to sign. Nonetheless, people are being forced into military service against their will. In other words, they are being drafted, conscripted, or whatever you care to call it. The government chooses to call it “Stop Loss,” and it applies to members of the armed forces. After all, what better way is there to initiate a sneaky draft than to start with the group of people least likely to object to a draft, and at the same time, with the least legal rights to fight one?

Prior to September 2001, the armed forces last used stop loss in 1990, during Operation Desert Shield/Desert Storm, under then President George H. Bush. President George W. Bush authorized a new Stop Loss policy on September 14, 2001, in Executive Order 13223. Since then, the Army has announced 11 stop-loss orders.

On 4 November 2002, a new stop loss policy affected over 60,000 soldiers. With this policy, a typical Ready Reserve soldier could be affected up to 30 months: 3 months during alert, 12–24 months while actually mobilized, and 3 months for demobilization. Ready Reserve soldiers who also possessed a certain skill or specialty could be affected until the later of 90 days after demobilization or the completion of an additional 12 months active duty.

Over the past year, the Army alone has blocked the possible retirements and departures of more than 40,000 soldiers. Hundreds more in the Air Force, Navy and Marines were blocked from retiring or departing the military. Under the latest Stop Loss iteration, announced in January 2004, seven thousand additional soldiers will be required to stay in the theater for the duration of their unit’s deployment and up to a maximum of 90 days afterward, said Col. Elton Manske. Because the stop-loss order begins 90 days before deployment and lasts for 90 days after a return home, those troops will be prohibited from retiring or leaving the Army at the expiration of their contracts until the spring of 2005, at the earliest.

Some Guard troops and reservists complain their release dates have been extended several times and they no longer know when they will be allowed to leave. On their Army paychecks, the expiration date of their military service is now listed sometime after 2030 – the payroll computer’s way of saying, “Who knows?”

The article argues that this is one of a number of steps which are quietly being taken to reinstate the draft. I’m not that convinced; I don’t think we have to worry about the draft being reinstated secretly. (Some things just can’t be kept secret – sooner or later, someone has to say “you are ordered to report…,” and then the cat’s out of the bag). Nonetheless, the article is interesting, and reports on a lot of stuff that’s escaped the mainstream presses scrutiny.

Myself, I’m struck by yet another example of how much contempt this president exhibits for members of the armed forces. He tries to cut their pay, he cuts their benefits, he takes away their overtime, and now he’s keeping them against their will. I’ve asked it before: When Bush meets a U.S. soldier, does he struggle to keep himself from openly sneering and spitting in the G.I.’s face?

A lot of conservatives have been critical of the “chickenhawk” thing, because they misinterpret it as saying “if you haven’t served in the armed forces, you’re not qualified to have an opinion on military matters.” But that’s not the point at all. It’s about character, not qualifications.

A chickenhawk is “a person enthusiastic about war, provided someone else fights it; particularly when that enthusiasm is undimmed by personal experience with war; most emphatically when that lack of experience came in spite of ample opportunity in that person’s youth.” Being a chickenhawk doesn’t make anyone wrong or right in their opinions about war; it just makes them a person of low character..

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Wesley Clark on Abortion: Let Women Decide

Amy at The Fifty Minute Hour has written a very sensible post about Clark’s abortion position. Clark has been criticized for an “embarrassing lack of nuance” in his position.

McQuaid: Let’s take an issue. Abortion. Are there any limits on it in your mind?

Clark: I don’t think you should get the law involved in abortion—

McQuaid: At all?

Clark: Nope.

McQuaid: At all?

Clark: It’s between a woman, her doctor, her friends and her family.

McQuaid: Late term abortion? No limits?

Clark: Nope.

McQuaid: Anything up to delivery?

Clark: Nope, nope.

McQuaid: Anything up to the head coming out of the womb?

Clark: I say that it’s up to the woman and her doctor, her conscience, and law — not the law. You don’t put the law in there.

Amy argues:

…pretty much all we get are accusations that Clark wants to “murder a healthy baby a few moments before it’s born.” The entire point of Clark’s argument, however, is that he believes the government ought to trust women and their doctors to make good, responsible decisions without the intrusion of government into their care. He believes that we don’t need a law to prevent the overwhelming majority of mothers from aborting for no reason late in the pregnancy, and that if some woman is able to find a doctor who will abort her male fetus at 35 weeks so she can have a girl–a situation he doubts will occur–the harm is less than the harm of having the government impinge on the rights of millions of women to freely make one of the hardest decisions of their lives. Frankly, I think Clark’s statements on the subject are among the most sensible I’ve heard in a very, very long time.

Amy goes on to criticize “the pro-choice crowd” for not standing as firm as Clark does. She has a point, although I think that for many pro-choicers opposing late-term abortions may be more strategic than emotional. If so, then Clark, if elected president, may wind up changing his position in deference to that strategy. We’ll see.

By the way, I’m finding myself warming a bit to Clark as time goes on. His abortion position, like his position on tax policy, is attractive. Of course, I’d still prefer Kucinich, but of the folks who might actually win Clark’s looking good..

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Bush in Thirty Seconds

I checked out the finalists in the Bush in Thirty Seconds competition (the winner will be announced late tonight). I thought the first-listed entry – “Child’s Play” – was by far the best of this lot – and it’s beautifully photographed, as well. Check it out.

The “humor ads” catagory wasn’t all that great, but the punchline to the “if parents acted like Bush” ad did get a laugh out of me..

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Visiting hotel room = consent for sex?

Apparently if a woman visits a man’s hotel room, she’s consented to have sex. Or at least, that’s what National Review Online believes.

Pre-feminist common sense suggested that a woman who comes alone to a man’s hotel room late at night has already consented to sex with him, but on the all-or-nothing principle so dear to ideologues everywhere, feminist orthodoxy insists that the adoption of this rough-and-ready but extremely useful guide would be tantamount to saying that a woman who has slept with other men not her husband, or even who dresses provocatively has already consented to sex. And the feminist interpretation of the law is now almost uncontested in the courts. No means no — even though no one else hears it, even though everyone knows that it may mean yes — because feminists want to reserve to women the right and freedom to be indiscrete.

Darn those feminists! Thinking that women should have rights and freedoms!

Via Atrios.

UPDATE: Echidne of the Snakes weighs in on this. As does Will Baude..

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Let's fund DDT

I’m pretty much used to right-wingers and libertarians being wrong about, well, almost everything. So when I read this over-the-top editorial at Tech Central about DDT, I was pretty confident that a little research would show me that environmental groups are right to oppose DDT use in Africa.

But in this case the Tech Central op-ed is right. DDT is far, far more effective than any of the alternatives for preventing the spread of malaria, especially to children.

Of course, Tech Central wouldn’t be Tech Central if the piece didn’t get significant facts wrong. For instance, many of the groups it claims oppose DDT use are actually neutral on the subject, or even support DDT use to combat maleria (the World Health Organization supports DDT use, for example). As usual, right-wingers feel free to simply make up lies about groups they dislike, knowing that no other right-winger will call them on it.

But on the main point they’re correct; DDT is essential. From The Christian Science Monitor:

In 1995, the last year South Africa had a comprehensive DDT program, there were only 6,000 malaria cases in the country. According to South Africa’s Department of Health, by 2000, resistance had developed to the compound that had replaced DDT and that number had risen to 60,000. Worried by these figures, South Africa again began using DDT in 2001. By 2002, cases had again fallen to 15,000. In Zambia, spraying by mining companies has been even more successful, reducing malaria cases by as much as 90 percent.

The US Agency for International Development is pushing bed nets as an alternative to DDT spraying. Are they insane? Let’s say it was your child, and you’re offered two alternatives to prevent the child from catching this often-fatal disease. One solution works by spraying the walls, which keeps the disease-carrying mosquitoes out of the house. The other solution works by depending on your child to stay obediantly in bed all night and hoping no mosquitos bite during the day.

No American parent would find bed nets an acceptable alternative in that circumstance – not even for a moment. USAID should be ashamed for suggesting it. (Some of USAID’s other anti-malaria programs are more worthwhile).

Like environmentalists, I’m disturbed by all the unknowns about DDT’s effects on humans. But fighting the theoretical harms of DDT should take a back seat to fighting the very real harms of malaria.

Someday, an alternative to DDT that’s as effective may be developed. Until that time, household DDT use in areas facing malaria should not only be “not forbidden,” it should be encouraged and generously funded.

Link to the Tech Central article via The Fifty-Minute Hour. Also, this BBC article has a decent summary of the DDT/malaria issue..

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Schadenfreude

So Maureen Dowd has written a column about Ret. Gen. and Democratic canidate Wesley Clark’s clothing, or, more exactly, his changes of clothing over time in (it’s assumed) a bid to appeal to a different voting group. While I generally get annoyed by clothing critiques in general, no pun intended, because talking about clothing distracts from things like issues, I have to admit a certain degree of schadenfreude.

Already some pundits, all of them male that I’ve seen, have started rolling their eyes, but the first thing I thought of when I read the column was a Doonesbury cartoon I read awhile back. One of the female characters, Alex it may have been, had written a newspaper article about one canidate or another coming into town. She described how the entourage (all male) looked in their suits, how they’d lost weight, how they’d picked the perfect accessories for their complexions. I believe it was Mike Doonesbury who ended the strip by saying, “You’re trying to make a point, aren’t you?”

So while people are rolling their eyes at Ms. Dowd’s column, I can’t help but smirk a little in the same way I always do when males get treated the way that females have for awhile. (An odd sensation to get, my being male and all.) And, yes, I know that this is pretty much a bad thing in the long run, a lose-lose situation, but it still feels good on some level..

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Lend a hand?

My next post on abstinence-only sex ed. is in the works; I hope to post it by Monday, but we’ll have to see.

Part of what’s making me delay that post is that I’m in the middle of writing a graphic novel. You’ll be hearing more about it as the script progresses (and as I continue to completely suck at drawing), but right now I need a bit of help. And since I know that all of you Alas readers are just dying to know what you can do…

One of the characters in the story lived the first eighteen or so years of her life in the foster system, but I don’t know really know all that much about that sort of thing. What I really need is some objective information on the foster care system in addition to a helping of anecdotal evidence. I’ll be busy digging around on the internet for what information there is, but if any of you want to contribute to my research (maybe you went through foster care, or have a friend or significant other or family member who did, or maybe you’ve worked in the foster system) I’d love to have the help.

You can post information in the comments section, or you can e-mail me at listentothecolourofyourdreams – at – hotmail.com. Anything you mail to me will be entirely confidential. So hey, if you wanna help someone work toward getting out of administrative-assistant-hell-world, drop me a note. Thanks!

* * * * *

Actually, I’m going to expand this cry for help a little. I’m most concerned with foster care programs, but if anyone has any experience with or knowledge of girls homes (drug rehab, etc.-type places) I’d like to hear those as well. The extent of my knowledge of such places is the psych. wing at the local hospital, but my dad was hardly a teenager.

I know I’m asking for personal stuff, but like I said: totally confidential, and it would be a big help to me. I’d like to get this stuff right and not Hollywood-ize it..

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