Via DED Space yet again, for all of you LGBT folks out there, your oh-so wonderful special rights checklist. Enjoy, bitter-sweetly….
A list of the special rights of homosexuals
The right to save yourself a lot of money and stress because you cannot seek political officeThe right to sleep in on Sunday because the churches do not want you
The right to spend a lot more of your money because the government won’t let you adopt children
The right to enjoy your post-divorce free time because they government won’t let you keep your children
The right to have more leisure time because the Scouts and ball teams don’t want you near their members
The right to develop highly proficient duplicity skills, since revealing who you are may cost you your job, your social standing, and your family
The right to leave a room where there are children so that other people won’t have to keep an eye on you all the time
The right to milk a lot of sympathy because members of the opposite gender say your sexual orientation is “such a waste”
The right, if you are a man, to bask in the knowledge that you seriously threaten a major portion of the male population
The right to gloat because so many straight people are convinced you desire them
The right to leave a party whenever you wish because you couldn’t bring your partner or date in the first place
The right to stay home and watch television while your partner is in intensive care, since the hospital staff won’t allow you in the room
The right to throw deadly kicks and punches because there is a good chance you will need to do do to keep your bones intact and save your life
Wow, what a wonderful list! Bah! Sadly many things on this list, faced by LGBT people, are very much a cruel reality, especially the last one for Gay men.
I’ll add in:
The right to be respectful and say “Well, you’re certainly entitled to your beliefs” as they scream at you saying how sick you are, how you are going to destroy civilisation, how you are part of an agenda of evil, how you are going to molest everything in sight, and how you are going to burn for all eternity, because, of course, that’s just their beliefs and we wouldn’t want to hinder them in any way.
oh, and:
The right to enjoy lively debate as some guy/girl suggests that perhaps you just haven’t met the right guy/girl yet, and that he/she might be the one for you, despite you having been out as gay/lesbian for over a decade or two.
of course, there’s always:
The right to revel in your independence as you are asked not to attend your family’s gatherings, because ‘we wouldn’t want to expose the children to that”.
The right to pay taxes to bolster marriage benefits for straights, who then vent their own misery on you by making sure that you can’t get those self-same benefits for yourself and your partner.
Don’t forget the right to have the same boring rights everyone else gets be made more interesting by calling them “special priveleges”. That is if you can secure those previleges to begin with.