Okay here’s the “sequel” to my other Rape Culture post. For a lead-in I bring you the very brutally honest and true comment by Q Grrl from the ‘Amanda presents some real Anti-Rape Advice’ thread.
Q Grrl Writes:
June 28th, 2005 at 11:35 amYou know, I honestly tried to come into this thread on rape with an open mind, hoping that, well, we wouldn’t get the same tired bullshit about prevention, the false equivalency between men in high crime districts and the rape of women, and the otherwise general unwillingness to address rape as rape. But I can’t do it. At least not the open mind part.
Having said that, I fully believe that the ONLY way a woman can control/plan for/avoid/restrict rape is to NOT BE BORN A WOMAN.
Enough said about that. Now my mind is no longer open and you all can deal with my anger at your (general) unwillingness to address rape per se and to make excuses for the men that rape.
Virginia writes:
“Actually, as a health psychology student, I can appreciate your analogy to safety-related behaviors such as looking both ways before crossing the street. “?
And not to pick on Virginia, but I’m using her very succinct summary of the posts above hers as a launching pad.
This “analogy”? of safety-related behavior assumes that all parties involved wish to avoid the same risks. No two drivers at any given time want to hit each other. The risk is fairly equivalent between both parties. No particular driver wants to hit any particular pedestrian, both believing that the risks outweigh the benefit in any particular situation.
Rape is none of the above. Rape carries benefits; for those of you unwilling to look at those benefits, the are:
Male orgasm
Male access to sex performed on women’s bodies
Male restriction of women’s access to public space; to include parks, neighborhoods, public facilities (banks, grocery stores, schools, court houses, etc.), government facilities.
Male restriction of women’s political voices (just go to dKos if you wonder what I mean)
Male restriction on women in combat
Male restriction on responsibility for other men
etc.Furthermore, the sidetracking of rape discussions into issues of how men are also socially hurt is complete horseshit. You cannot place rape in a vacuum. Rape co-exists with prohibitions on women’s access to birth control and abortion. Rape co-exists with the institution of marriage. Rape co-exists with socially condoned dating norms.
Rape is MOST unlike a man getting high off of recreational drugs and walking around in a high crime district.
In fact, rape has nothing to do with that.
But, by all means, we should be socializing girls and women differently. We should socialize them to fight back, to look men straight in the eye, to go for the balls everytime.
WHAT WE SHOULDN’T BE SOCIALIZING THEM FOR IS THAT IF THEY FAIL TO DO THIS, THEY DESERVE THE OUTCOME OF AN ACTION FREELY CHOSEN BY A MALE PERPETRATOR.
How is it that ya’ll are capapble of missing this distinction?
What year is it anyway? 2005?
Lovely and I agree with this :-) So,…. rape culture, gender, women, victim-blaming, men’s responsibility or lack thereof, dating, prevention, marital rape, “boys will be boys,” why do men rape?, patriarchy’s role, acquaintance rape, stranger rape, excusing rape and sexual assault because “guys just can’t help themselves so put all of the burden of prevention on women,” how and why men benefit from rape, how does pornography play into this, shaming of the female victim, men as potential rapists, men and women’s sex drives, relationships, socialization,etc. Have at it!
One more note, Aegis and the disrespectful and rude troll Nephandus are NOT permitted–hence banned–from commenting on this thread, due to their piss-poor and outright disrespectful behavior towards me and others. Any comments of yours’ on this thread will be automatically deleted and seen as further proof of your refusal to show any respect or consideration of others–especially to the moderator.
Is rape all that big a problem in the world you-all live in?
Um…yes. Most of my friends have been raped or sexually assualted at least once. And the community I live in is considered fairly safe. I’ve also done quite a bit of rape crisis type work. It’s very, very common.
I agree that men’s attitudes toward women need to change. And that changing male behavior is step one in reducing the rape of women, but how do we go about doing this?
I am raising my daughters to be vocal and outspoken, and that no one even *I* have the *right* to tell them how to express their sexualiy. I am raising my son to be empathic and considerate and to teach personal responsiblity.
I also do not tell my daughters not to play at night, nor do I live my life nor curtail my personal, daily activities out of the fear that I might be raped. I *will* not allow anyone that much control over my life.
I guess my question is this: Is there a legislative method to making deep and profound changes to the underlying societal issues?
I am not blog savvy. How do I contact the moderator about the absurd posts written by a “Susan” in June of last year? It made me livid! Contrary to her statements, rape was indeed widespread 40 years ago. So was drug rape. … and gang rape. I’m just itching to tell ya’ll a brief story. I promise to be brief. Thanks
I hope people take notice of my post (I’m not familiar with links and threads). On June 28, 2005, #19, “Susan” posted that “rape hardly ever happened 40 years ago”. Wrong!
A string of skillfully executed drug-rapes occurred in the early 1960s by an upperclassman living on fraternity row at Georgia Tech where the bond of Greek brotherhood remains every bit as unshakable today as it did in the sixties. And if drug-rape (an unfamiliar term in the sixties) was happening at XYZ fraternity, you can bet it was widespread among other Greek frats. He belongs behind bars for the malevolent tactics he used to dehumanize unsuspecting women. This monster derailed my life. The memories were repressed for 43 years, until finally the fragmented flashbacks made sense.
What compelled him to rape? “the constant and overwhelming struggle to prove his masculinity to the brotherhood”.
Thanks, I feel betternow! georgia_tech_rape@yahoo.com
Barry’s the blog owner and moderator: barry@amptoons.com
But he’ll probably read your posts here.
Yes, I’ve been reading your comments here. The way you left a comment was exactly the correct way to do it. :-)
I am 16 years old, I go to an all girls Catholic school. I am not well off, but my family can afford to send all 3 children to private schools and still go on vacations. I am not a “slut” I didnt even kiss a boy until high school. I was raped. First the “responsibility” as many have talked about is on EVERYONE, including hippies who know not of rape incidents, or men who have been raped, or people who have attempted to stop domestic abuse and been discouraged. Rape shouldn’t be my first encounter with sex. Everyone on here has had good thoughts but they are all clouded with “fuck off” and “troll” honestly if any of you care (which I believe wholeheartedly you do) then discusshow to change society and dont bitch that it is the opposite gender’s fault. Honestly I think intelligent people like you all who are wasting time complaining are to blame.
So have meetings with young men about respect. Make it mandatory for girls to learn some self defense. Insist that more serious punishment be used inrape cases. And that would really change society for everyone.
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