Magdalene Matters

According to the New Testament, Mary Magdalene, a prosititute, cleaned Jesus’ feet with her tears and then dried them with her hair. What’s always struck me about this story is that it sounds kinda gross. Who wants to have their feet dried by someone else’s hair? Ewwww.

Plus, Mary would have needed astounding tear ducts to be able to effectively wash more than His Holy Toenail. The poet Richard Crashaw must have had this thought in mind when he described Magdalene’s eyes as “two faithful fountains; two walking baths; two weeping motions; / Portable, and compendious oceans.”

Contrary to what I wrote in the first paragraph, the New Testament never identifies the prostitute who gave Jesus the icky tear-hair footbath by name. Mary Magdalene was identified with this woman, in Christian tradition, to give Mary some much-needed backstory, and perhaps to humble her a bit. There’s an excellent Joan Acocella article in the current New Yorker which describes how Magdalene – according to some Gnostic texts the smartest and most enlightened of Jesus’ followers (and perhaps even Jesus’ successor) – has been reinterpreted and rebiographied over the centuries, including some discussion of recent feminist interpretations. Well worth a read.

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15 Responses to Magdalene Matters

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  3. 3
    Woman says:

    But the bible has been revised, altered and updated so many times…it makes me wonder what the point is in discussing it, or even refering to it. Hmm. The church will never allow Mary to be anything but a prostitute. It wouldn’t be beneficial to them.

  4. 4
    Ampersand says:

    Actually, the Roman Catholic Church officially declared Mary Magdalene to not be a non-prostitute years ago. For what that’s worth.

  5. 5
    Amber says:

    Testament.

    [Thanks! Correction made! –Amp]

  6. 6
    Thagmano says:

    It’s a little slow, but Mary, Called Magdalene is a pretty interesting take.

  7. 7
    Jake Squid says:

    “Testament”

    [Thanks! Correction made! –Amp]

  8. 8
    HaMekashef says:

    But the bible has been revised, altered and updated so many times…it makes me wonder what the point is in discussing it, or even refering to it.

    The evolving disciplines of Scriptural analysis & Biblical criticism are legitimized, in part, by some of the Churches’ increasing openness to a more rational approach to the historical reality of the Scriptures. Moreover, the study of Scripture as social phenomena is of critical importance if we are to understand the evolution of Judaeo-Christian civilization. For example, we now know that the Early Church was not a typically patriarchal institution modelled after the “12 Tribes” – women were involved to a degree far greater than what is customarily acknowledged by conservative Christian movements, & this may have caused schisms as early as the first century C.E.! The inquisitiveness of contemporary scholarship is gradually uncovering more & more about Christianity’s beginnings. This should matter- at least superficially- to believers & unbelievers alike, insofar both are encultured beings.

  9. 9
    Fielders Choice says:

    According to Jesus, the woman identified as Mary Magdalene had “5 husbands” (likely the 5 Torah scrolls). The one who was with her during her conversation with Christ by a well was not her husband (Jesus celibate). Christianity in its orthodox forms is not shy about giving Magdalene such honor as the greatest disciple to join Jesus. She was given the honor of the last anointing of Jesus before his betrayal and the first recognized vision of Jesus after his Resurrection.

  10. 10
    Cala says:

    I once read that prostitutes, kings, and well, other glitterati of the time used to collect tears in bottles. So she wasn’t crying, exactly, but pouring tears out of a small bottle.

    Eww.

  11. 11
    a nut says:

    Late to the thread, I know, but I wanted to say thanks so much for this article! (I love reading up on feminist theology.)

  12. 12
    mjones says:

    Yet later still …

    Funny, I always thought the icky part was having someone’s sandy, dirty, unshoed feet in ones hair.

    Re. washing feet with tears: perhaps I’m betraying my status as a sceptic, but, um, isn’t that a metaphor?

  13. 13
    Mendy says:

    Even the Roman Catholic Church over the past few years has backed away from the portrayal of Mary Magdelene as a prostitute. I think that with the woman not being named, it was just easier for the early men of the church to stick Mary’s name on her to show her as being humble and subservient.

  14. 14
    mg_65 says:

    There’s another Mary who annoints Jesus’s feet: Mary, Lazarus’s sister.

    When Jesus came to Jerusalem to celebrate Passover, he raised Lazarus from the dead as a belated favor to Martha. Then Jesus, with Judas Iscariot, went to Mary, Martha and Lazarus’s house for dinner and Mary poured a bottle of extremely expensive lotion or perfume over his feet. Judas complained about the waste, saying that the perfume or whatever it is could have been sold and the money given to the poor.

    Jesus tells him, “Leave her alone. She has kept this for my funeral. You will always have poor people, but me, not so much.”

    It’s one of those subtext things in the Gospels where only women really Get Jesus.

    Later Jesus is crucified, betrayed (or whatever) by Judas. Lazarus is stoned to death by the villagers, and Judas hangs himself.

    No word on what happens to Mary or Martha. It’s an interesting story.

    I wrote a version of it inspired the zombie aspects. And by the strongly image of Jesus running around wreaking havoc in people’s lives, all in the service of good theater. It’s really one of the more John Carpenter-ish stories in the Bible.

    Back to lurking now.

  15. 15
    mg_65 says:

    Sorry–it’s in John:12, if anyone cares.

    Really back to lurking now.