This cartoon is drawn by Nadine Scholtes, who also made up the cat and mouse business on the counter.
This one is a little autobiographical. Not that I’d ever react this strongly in real life, but when someone tells me “God bless you” during a business transaction, it makes me feel… skeevy.
I was the assistant manager of a historic church building for many years, and a church group rented the site for their Sunday morning services. When I was there helping them on Sundays, I’d was often told “God bless you” and it never bothered me. That was sort of their thing as a church group, after all. And it’s a kindly meant sentiment.
But when I’m bringing a computer to be repaired, that feels different, because I have no reason to expect it and – crucially – there’s no way to for me to opt out. Responding to “God bless you” with a theological debate – or just by saying “I don’t believe God exists, but thanks” – might be unwelcome, or for some people even offensive. Since I’m not willing to take that chance, I’m in effect involuntarily recruited into a stranger’s opportunity to spill a little bit of his beloved religiosity on me.
But at least I can do a cartoon about it. :-)
TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON
This cartoon has six panels, all taking place at the counter of a computer repair shop. There are two characters, a youthful customer wearing a red t-shirt, and a middle-aged man behind the counter, wearing a blue front-button shirt with a nametag.
PANEL 1
The clerk is smiling as he talks to the customer.
CLERK: We’ll try to have your computer fixed by Tuesday.
CUSTOMER: Thanks.
CLERK: God bless you.
PANEL 2
The customer looks like he’s internally debating something.
PANEL 3
The customer crosses his arms and looks grumpy.
CUSTOMER: I really hate it when people turn a business transaction into a religious one.
PANEL 4
The customer is getting more irate.
CUSTOMER: “God bless you?” What does that even mean? Which god? Why would he she or it want to “bless” me? Do you really think God’s plan for me changes based on you blessing me?
PANEL 5
The customer leans into the clerk’s face and pokes him in the chest; the clerk, taken aback, leans back.
CUSTOMER: Religious people should stop pushing your beliefs in my face! Can I get that blessing?
The right panel border is a thought balloon, leading to the customer character in panel six, indicating that the customer has been imagining this.
PANEL 6
The customer walks away, smiling and waving goodbye. The clerk watches him leave, smiling benevolently.
CUSTOMER: Have a nice day.
CHICKEN FAT WATCH
“Chicken fat” is an obscure bit of cartoonists’ jargon for unimportant details that we put in for fun.
PANEL 1 – A poster on the wall shows an anime girl holding a video game controller, under the caption “Anime and Video Games.” A smaller caption at the bottom says “You only don’t like them because you’re old.”
An adorable kitten on the counter is swiping at a computer mouse.
The customer has a tattoo of Snoopy on his right bicep.
PANEL 2 – The customer’s tattoo now shows Scooby Doo.
PANEL 3 – The customer’s tattoo shows Odie, the dog from “Garfield.”
PANEL 6 – The customer’s tattoo shows Jake, the dog from “Adventure Time.”
The poster on the wall has changed and now shows a sad looking clerk yelled at by unseen customers. The caption says “Be kind to clerks,” and a smaller caption at the bottom says “we once had dreams.”
A panel in the computer mouse is open, and a real mouse is standing next to the computer mouse, shaking a finger at the kitten and chewing the kitten out. The kitten looks very surprised.
Last spring I was eating lunch outside in a grassy field at the edge of campus, and a Christian proselytizer came up to me and asked God to bless me. They did it to everyone else who was eating lunch nearby too.
I think this cartoon is making a big deal out of nothing. I’ve been an atheist all my adult life (I’m 80 years old), and think that ALL religious beliefs are ridiculous, childish, superstitious nonsense, which means that approximately 85% of the human race is DEAD WRONG about the underlying purpose and fate of their existence — but SO WHAT? That’s not my problem, and I wish them well.
If I blew a gasket like the guy in this cartoon every time somebody made a harmless religious statement to me, I’d probably have died of a stroke long before the eighth decade of my life’s transient trip from nowhere to nowhere. So just chill out and enjoy the ride.
Context and tone mean a lot. If I sneeze, or I’ve just helped someone, and they say it in lieu of a thank-you, I’m not fussed. But, if they are just randomly passing out blessings, as if they’re Jesus’s and the people areund them are tax collectors or “harlots”, that’s a dominance display and I’m going to say no thank-you. This cartoon seems closer to the latter.
The correct response is, “Hail, Satan!”
Katherine, yes, exactly.
Jacqueline: lol
Dreidel, did you catch that the guy in this cartoon did not, in fact, “blow a gasket”?
@Ampersand:
Actually, he did “blow a gasket” mentally (See panels 3,4, & 5), and it obviously disturbed him. He simply had enough restraint not to verbalize or display his anger to the clerk behind the counter.
Okay, I think you and I just have different ideas of what “blow a gasket” means.
I wonder when he’ll get his computer back.
@Nancy
The Bible says he’ll get his computer back any day now 2000 years ago.