The Manger's On Fire, the Holly's Aglow, Hear the Baby Jesus Cryin' Ho! Ho! Ho!

Ah, the Christmas Variety Special. Once a staple of the holiday season, it’s largely gone the way of the Dodo. And that’s too bad; while they’re goofy and overly-earnest, they’re also campy and hilarious. Of course, that usually goes hand-in-hand. And really, it’s hard to do them truly campy and hilarious on purpose.

Thank the Gods for Stephen Colbert, then, whose Christmas special — with an emphasis on “Christmas” — hits exactly the right notes. It has a sense of humor about itself, whether having Toby Keith singing an over-the-top-even-for-Toby-Keith song about Santa dropping nuclear bombs on non-Christians, Willie Nelson talking about the fourth wise man’s gift of pot to the baby Jesus, or Feith singing about your prayer being important to angels, and how they’ll deal with your prayer in the order it was received, the special has all the hallmarks of the worst/best holiday specials. Of course John Legend happens to also be a forest ranger who just happens to drop by Colbert’s cabin to sing about nutmeg, if you know what I’m saying. Of course John Stewart drops by to offer Colbert the opportunity to celebrate Chanukah. Of course seemingly every guest ends up under the mistletoe, with Colbert saying, “well, this is awkward.” Of course Elvis Costello ends up singing “(What’s So Funny ‘Bout) Peace, Love, and Understanding” in a bear suit. Why? They just do.

And the show features perhaps the best holiday song since “The Chanukah Song,” in Colbert’s “Another Christmas Song”:

That’s good stuff right there.

So thanks, Stephen, for your instant classic; I’m looking forward to seeing how you top it next year. Or perhaps we could have John Stewart instead,with his Chanukah special. Either way, congratulations: you’ve produced a Christmas special that does not suck.