Contrary to what you may have been led to believe, you can’t pee standing up. This may work in a state of nature, but not in a state with urinals and toilets. It doesn’t take that much longer to sit down, so please stop trying to pee on your feet because you only end up doing just that.
Thank you. We now return you to your regularly scheduled statistical analysis..
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Good luck with that. I’ve found appealing to one’s lazy side is an effective strategy–just say, “See, sitting is way easier!”
What crazy urinals do you have in your part of the world if you can’t pee into them standing up (the real trick would be to pee into most types of urinals sitting down, btw).
I’ve been sitting down to pee for as long as I remember. Usually not in public bathrooms, when the seat is especially unappealing for any of the millions of reasons it can be, but certainly at home, at work and at friends’ houses. It’s part laziness (I get to sit down) and part sanitary. An ex of mine was very impressed that I never peed on the rim or the seat, and that I always left the seat down for her.
Oh, and I do use urinals, but I always find myself peeing at odd angles to avoid splashback. Urinals need to be redesigned to take that into account.
On urinal redesign: The curious may want to take a trip to Holland Hall at St. Olaf College, Northfield, Minnesota, home of what must be the largest urinals in the Western World. Clearly, they were designed with the issue of splashback in mind. If they ever tear the buildings down, they can save the urinals for use as caskets.
LOL!
My three-year-old daughter is recently potty-trained. Like most, she’s fascinated with the whole mechanism of the potty. And she has no conception of the meaning of the word ‘privacy’. Meaning, she walks in on me, constantly.
She is just *dumbfounded* that Daddy can pee standing up. We’re in big trouble if *she* decides to try it!
Regarding the advice in the post–obviously, the men in your life need to Learn How To Aim. :-)
Are you sure that the problem isn’t just that women are too lazy to learn how to pee the natural way that God intended for all of us.
Guys aren’t BORN knowing how to pee standing up. They have to learn dammit, and women should to. A Woman’s Guide on How to Pee Standing Up may be the best place to start.
From there it is just a small jump until we have Sanistands or She-inals in ladies’ rooms worldwide.
ChurchofBruce, Pink Dream Poppies *is* the man in his life.
And as an individual who frequently cleans toilets, I have to say: sitting down is SO the way to go. Just because a man Knows How to Aim and doesn’t get it all over the top of the seat, or his feet, doesn’t mean it all goes into the bowl. It leaves the toilet as a whole much less urine-encrusted if you sit down.
And, Richard, if you have ever squatted to go to the bathroom on a camping trip, you will find that, at least in nature, women by far have the edge on lack of laziness in terms of waste elimination. You have to have pretty great quads to hold a squat for a while.
I have no concerns about men learning how to sit down to pee in a urinal because I think that all urinals should be torn out and replaced with stalls. Their entire existence is predicated on the illusion that men can pee while standing up.
I have learned in my time that men who sit down to pee also tend to have a better understanding of the importance of clean toilets. Agreed, it’s a better way all around.
>>We now return you to your regularly scheduled statistical analysis.
As you can see, I did contribute my regularly scheduled statistical analysis. If you have any data on peeing, I would be glad to stuff it in an excel spread sheet and make a graph!
I have learned in my time that men who sit down to pee also tend to have a better understanding of the importance of clean toilets.
Another way is to be the guy that has to clean the fershlugginer toilets in the first place.
The advantage of peeing standing up is it’s quicker. Honestly, sitting down–which I occasionally do–is more relaxing. But standing up takes seconds. Leaves less time for the Toddler From Hell to set the cat on fire. Hell, I save bowel movements until her nap time!
The advantage of peeing standing up is it’s quicker. Honestly, sitting down–which I occasionally do–is more relaxing. But standing up takes seconds. Leaves less time for the Toddler From Hell to set the cat on fire. Hell, I save bowel movements until her nap time!
There’s nothing wrong with peeing while standing up in emergency situations. Having a toddler, I think, qualifies as something of a long-term emergency situation.
After experimenting during my last bathroom break, it’s not possible for me to pee conveniently sitting down – it would entail forcing my penis (through which urine will be flowing) down and back, which is not the direction it wants to go.
Nope. Standing up until I get so feeble I need a catheter…
I have learned in my time that men who sit down to pee also tend to have a better understanding of the importance of clean toilets.
My boyfriend used to stand up as long as he lived at home with Mama. When he moved into a house-share and was expected to take his turn at cleaning the toilet, he soon learned how to sit down.
I’m a bit puzzled at an “Announcement to Men” that says “you can’t pee standing up.” I can’t? I must have been fooling myself all these years.
Maybe women can’t pee standing up, but this was addressed to men.
I’m also puzzled by all the posters who seem to be implying that men don’t know what it’s like to sit down on a dirty toilet.
News flash, guys: there is ANOTHER FORM of bodily waste elimination besides peeing; and for this one EVERYBODY needs to sit down.
My niece used to go to daycare with a woman who had twin boys her age. She decided that everybody pees standing up, and she got very good at it, too. That’s when I realized that peeing standing up is a learned trick and could be taught to girls, too.
Sorry, I don’t buy it.
Peeing sitting down is risky business for a man. Have you ever wondered why the water level is set so high in a toilet? It’s so that a woman can pee quietly so as not to give away what she’s up to. But when a man tries peeing sitting down he risks immersing his member in cold water. This is just plain gross and the source of a rather large wet patch on the front of one’s dockers, not to mention a probable source of infection when doing what comes natural with one’s partner.
I’m sure the source of this comment is female disgust with those of us who are known dribblers. A better solution is to pee off the back deck. My toilet has been free of those give-away yellow stains for years because of this. However, one must be sure the neighbors aren’t watching, and, oh yeah, if one has cats take care. Otherwise ploblem solved.
I’m with Aaron V. I mean, if peeing sitting down works for you, and your a guy, by all means do it. But it doesn’t work for me.
I’m sure the source of this comment is female disgust with those of us who are known dribblers.
So why then was it a man who made the comment? I don’t always expect people to know that, but it was specifically mentioned in this comment thread. Careful with those assumptions.
From Pink’s lips to Germany’s ears.
There is now a device to shame men into “Sitzplinken” instead of “Stehpinkeln.”
There is also a rationale for the reluctance to switch.
“In German, the phrase for someone who sits and urinates, a “Sitzpinkler”, is equivalent to “wimp”.”
Does any women stand up, while peeing? cos l do
When playing cards with a group of male friends I returned to the game from the bathroom to enquire which of the dirty bastards had pissed all over the floor. One of the gentlemen proudly announced that it couldnt have been him.
“How come?” I enquried. In a loud and clear Minnesota accent he proclaimed “I sit down to pee!”
This had everyone around the table clutching their sides in hysterics and this day some three years later we still mimic that legendary phrase -“I sit down to pee!”
Guys – don’t do it, or at least don’t admit to it.
Has anyone else noticed that a LOT of women seem to pee standing in public restrooms? At my gym, it’s hard to find a seat you don’t have to clean pee off before you sit down.
Also, in ancient Egypt, it was women who peed standing. Peeing seated was manly.
Far as I’m concerned, which ever way you do it, you should tidy up after yourself.
MG
In public restrooms, I always lift the seat before I do the hovering squat. Voila! No pee on the seat.
Whoah! Blast from the past! It’s the thread that keeps on giving!
I’ve never managed to get the hang of peeing standing up, although there are some women who will cheerfully assure you that it is quite, quite easy. I always vaguely want to throttle those women. Either they’re way more coordinated than I am, or we have very different definitions of “easy” –or maybe I’ve just been far more brainwashed by the patriarchy than I realize. Who can tell?
Anyway, when I went on a camping trip a few years back, I bought this…device. It was a sort of a funnel. Used by Astronauts! Whee! Yay! I had lovely fantasies about the amazing “zip ‘n’ pee” experience that this Miraculous Device was going to make possible for me.
Um.
Well, I only have one piece of advice for those who might want to try it themselves.
Practice with it before you leave. Specifically, make sure you can use it before you try to zip ‘n’ pee it at night, in the cold, and in a place with no fresh water source.
‘Nuff said.
It’s all in the pelvic tilt, Elkins.
Elkins: Bwa ha ha! Oh god —- thank you for a good laugh. I’ve always wondered how well those things worked.
And zuzu, I still can’t imagine how you would do the hover without just getting pee EVERYWHERE. You must have quads of steel.
MG
To be fair, actually, they do work pretty well once you figure out how to position them juuuuust right. And, as zuzu said, getting the right pelvic tilt angle helps, too. It does take a bit of practice to get the hang of it, though; I’d recommend people set aside some time to experiment in the shower with The Device before trying to use it out in the field.
Of course, there’s also the weird shame factor of remaining paranoiacally convinced that the second you start washing it out, someone is going to come along and demand to know what on earth you are cleaning…
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Oh what a topic you’ve chosen for this conversation, standing and sitting to pee!
So let me tell you something, not bad if you know that in my culture the male people avoid pissing while standing! In my country it’s so, as my religion has recommended not to pee while standing, and to do it while sitting or squatting. I know there, they teach the kid when he can stand up, how to pee while standing, but it’s not so here. However, I am male and quite healthy, but I don’t pee while standing. You should consider that there are many different ways and theologies around the world.
To my own, peeing while standing is a nasty actions, also it does not feet a man’s character, that’s like you imagine a respectable man standing up still some where, his penis is out and his piss line in front of him! Who made the rule that males MUST stand up while urinating? And don’t relate it to the nature, potentially many things are natural as an ability; one can bring it out (gun), aim and kill, but he has choosing power, although he has the ability, but he may not do it if he is sane; one can just bring it out, aim and piss, but does it mean he can not do it in a way but that?
Why stand to pee? Why aim? Aiming is for the time when you are distant to your target and can’t be close to it, but when you can be close to it, and if you are sane, you prefer being close to your target than aiming to the target. So sit down and be relax, the name of the place you are doing that in, is rest room! And why you waste your time and energy in cleaning bathrooms? You can save it for more useful affairs by reducing the need of bathroom to be cleaned!
As for those who say “peeing while standing is of a few pleasures of a man!”, I should say that a man is more valuable than way of peeing places as his pleasure and property! It does not fit a man to consider that as his worth! Men have more valuable special abilities to be mentioned! And as for those who say “peeing while standing is much easier than doing it while sitting or squatting”, I should say that bending over and pulling down pants, and keeping a part of panties down for a while and aim for a while both need an attempt; and the fact that which one is easier for a person depends on habit. The way in which one’s habit is based on, is easier for that one, and to which you habit, it will be easier for you! As God has made the ability of peeing while standing easily in guys, it must have an advantage, and yes it has. In men’s jobs some times urgent situations happen, and some times they have to do some thing in a short time when the speed is important, and some times men have situations that they can’t sit or squat or are in places where sitting or squatting is not easily possible; in such times they can use their ability of peeing while standing easily. But these urgent times just some times happen, not always! So I think there should be a project for men to stop, or to say better, manage peeing while standing. One group are already doing that and their site is: http://www.mapsu.org . As I mentioned, there are some occations when it’s needed to pee standing up, then it happens for both men and women! So what should women do? So easy, they can instantly pee standing up using a small device, one is here: http://www.travelmateinfo.com/page002.html .
However, it will be great if the current way of peeing of guys in toilets and bathrooms, in the most parts of the world changes.
Ali
I stand to pee and I don;t need some special device! I was taught it from potty training! I never sit to pee. and I never make a mess. one time, i did it in a public restroom and I forgot to shut the door (i didn’t think any one would come in! oops!) some old lady came in and you should have seen the look on her face! The only problem is that you actualy have to touch your vagina to do this, but believe it or not, your genitals are much cleaner than you think. You have to spread your labia apart a little and lean backa little too. its kinda hard to explain so you’ll have to try it on your own. I implore women to try this! no penises needed! I stand and I love it!
-Standing Girl
I have to learn that! I wanna pee standing up! I’m gonna make my boyfriend get a partial sex-change now.
I’m a guy (obviously), and I usually pee sitting down, having been taught to do so when I was being potty-trained. As a result, I’m not as riveted in urinary custom as others (is that good English…?), and I’m not at all uneasy at the idea of women peeing standing up. Heck, my sister did it once when she was 3. I don’t see anything morally wrong with them doing it that way either; it’s about body waste elimination, not sex, so there shouldn’t be any controversy.
Apparently no one has mentioned these sites yet.
http://web.archive.org/web/20030604104917/http://restrooms.org/standing.html
http://www.restrooms.org/archives.html
http://www.femaleurinal.com/factsandfables.html
OK, let’s leave room for differences in anatomy when it comes to being able to pee standing up, and I don’t mean just between males and females.
I’ve never heard of any man who can’t pee while sitting down, and as far as having to push one’s penis back, there are men who can push it back far enough to stick it in their anus, so come on, guys, let’s be real here. What hasn’t really been mentioned much here is splashback. When a man pees into a toilet, there’s almost always some amount of splashback that goes on, regardless of how good his aim is. If you want to see this is all its scientifically studied glory, try to get your hands on a copy of the Bathroom Book, published by some Brits back in the 70’s, which features charts, graphs, photos of men peeing, etc. Regardless of what position you use, you should be mature enough to see to it that you leave the toilet – and the area around it -clean and dry. I’m still amazed that there are men out there who cannot be bothered to life a toilet seat, even with their foot, before letting loose.
I pee sitting all the time. It’s actually quite comfortable, to say the least. And about the comment reffering to guys being in the closet about this stuff, hell I tell my gf that i do it. However to all the comments about the splashback, yeah it is pretty significant when a guy is sitting down. But hey, I’m the kinda guy who can’t aim for crap, so this is fine with me.
Hm.
Standing and peeing into a urinal is splashless as long as one hits the back wall of the urinal at a > 90 deg. angle, which is the natural configuration anyway. I don’t see what the big problem is there.
Sitting and peeing is more difficult for me; there is a very small range of motion that will keep me from contacting either the water or the inside of the toilet bowl lip.
Standing and peeing into a toilet does cause some splash iff I aim for the middle of the water instead of the back of the bowl; how effective I am at that is in part a function of how much water there is in the bowl. If I do splash, a quick wipe with some toilet paper takes care of the problem.
When I was a boy, living at home with two older brothers and a dad who smoked, Dad would go to the john first and have his morning cigarette in the bathroom and toss his butt in the toilet. This was after he’d used the and flushed the toilet, so he wouldn’t flush the butt. The next user would then get to see if he could keep a stream going on the cigarette butt long enough to disintegrate it. This developed good aim at a young age among my brothers and I, an experience I cheated my son out of given that I’m a non-smoker. Given my Dad’s current state of health, I make no apologies for that.
Wow. You people are insane. Anyone in their right mind know that peeign standing is way easier than to pee standing. It’s not as satifying for one and for two if you can ” let it loose” while standing it works to your advantage not only for guys but girls as well. And you know how girls/women are suppose to pee sitting down. Whoever invented that can go stick a sock in it because just because we don’t have the easier ability as men do dosen’t mean that we shouldn’t peeing standing. ALL WOMEN SHOULD PEE STANDING. It’s much easier and saves time and if you have the correct aim you won’t get it all over the place. If your out and about and have to go it’s easiest to go stabding standing serves a much much bigger purpose than sitting. Sitting just causes alot of trouble and takes too much time.
I seldom do it standing up anymore. And mostly because as a kid my brother would be the one who missed and not clean it up and I didn’t want to get blamed for it. So to make sure I sit down that way no mess can be made and I wouldn’t get blamed for it. But I’ve learned also to wipe down before using the toilet at public restrooms.
And I”ve learned where you most likely will find cleaner restrooms-hospitals (altho I’m surprised not always), office buildings, nice hotel lobbies and upscale stores and shopping malls (ease of parking is a plus). I almost never go to gas stations. Best and cleanest restrooms I’ve found was at the Bloomingdales in Century City shopping mall in Los Angeles-clean well lighted, well stocked with necessities and spacious stalls. Bloomingdales if you are reading this-keep up the good work.
I have been “sitting” to pee for many years. Not only do I find it more sanitary, but I also live in a house with 3 other females, so I never have to worry about putting the lid down. Hats off to all the men who “sit”!!. Backsplash from urinals, and drops on your pants, just doesn’t appeal to me. I am a very clean person, and I don’t see any humiliation in sitting. I know all the rough & tough, and big talking guys find it to be gay to sit, well, I have news. You can really earn alot of points by sitting for your wife, who appreciates the cleanliness!! And I find that I don’t have to worry about it running on my leg, fingers, or whatever. Any women agree with me??
When I proposed to the woman who is now my wife she said yes, but only if I would promise from my wedding day forward I would sit to pee at home and if we had boys that we would teach them to sit at home.
I have been sitting since our wedding day 21 years ago. Her gift back to me is since I sit she cleans the toilets. I find sitting for a minute or two after peeing to be a time of relaxation and solitude. In asking me to sit so many years ago my wife gave em a gift and I appreciate her more for it.
Tim