Cartoon: Conan vs Copyright

Posted on August 8, 2024 by Ampersand

This cartoon was drawn by Nadine Scholtes.

Popular cartoonist John Allison is a big fan of the character Conan the Barbarian, and was doing a Conan comic for fun in his free time, which you could read for free on his website. I say “could” and not “can,” because Allison understandably took it down after receiving a cease and desist letter from Conan Properties International.

Allison lives and works in the UK, where Conan is in the public domain. But in the US, Conan is copyrighted until 2028. John Allison is a busy creator with a lot of projects he has time for and, I suspect, not much money to pay for being sued, even if the lawsuit has no merit. In contrast, Conan Properties International, because they create nothing and do nothing but live off the most popular creation of a writer who died in 1936, has nothing but time and money to use to harass creators like Allison.

This isn’t the only specious and annoying lawsuit that Conan’s owners have undertaken because they’re leaches who have nothing else to do with their time. The wonderful cartoonist Shaenon Garrity wrote:

The Conan rights holders are bonkers litigious. Viz had to change the title of the manga Detective Conan because they threatened to sue. The Conan in the manga is named after Arthur Conan Doyle, a real person who predates Conan the Barbarian.

This sort of copyright bullying is unfortunately very common, and happens with many characters and creations other than Conan. But the Conan story happened to be the one that inspired this cartoon.

Nadine, who lives in Luxembourg and is significantly younger than me, actually didn’t know who “Conan” was and assumed she was just free to make up a character design from scratch, which caused some confusion for me when I saw her first sketches. We worked it out. :-) The Conan she eventually drew is recognizably Conan – but also kind of adorable and lithe compared to how the character is usually drawn.

The script suggested that Conan could be riding a horse or maybe a bear, but also said Nadine could change it to whatever she wanted. Nadine chose to make it a drake, which is a kind of dragon.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each of the panels shows Conan the Barbarian, a shirtless, muscular barbarian dude with long hair, in a desert. He is carrying an axe and a shield.

PANEL 1

Conan, mounted on his drake (drakes are a kind of dragon; this one has four limbs and no wings), is under attack. Arrows fly through the air at him, and a couple of arrows are stuck in the shield that Conan has raised defensively. The drake has a panicked expression as it speaks.

DRAKE: Conan, we’re surrounded! What will we do?

CONAN: We will kill or we will die.

VOICE FROM OFF PANEL: STOP!

PANEL 2

Conan, carrying his axe, has gotten off his drake and is walking towards a new character, a man wearing glasses and a modern suit and tie. The main is reading off a piece of paper he’s holding. We’ll just call this character “LAWYER,” since that’s what he is.

LAWYER: On behalf of Conan Properties International, this is a cease and desist letter. You do not have permission to create this comic strip.

CONAN: Wrong, fool! I’m public domain in this country!

PANEL 3

With a smug expression, the Lawyer holds up the piece of paper for Conan to read. Conan leans down to read it, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

LAWYER: Even if that’s so, we’ll still sue, and proving your case would take years and bankrupt you. That’s why we always win.

CONAN: Hmm…. I’ve got an idea.

PANEL 4

Conan is holding the lawyer’s decapitated head in one hand. Blood drips out of the bottom of the lawyer’s neck, and we can see his headless body lying on the ground in the background. In Conan’s other hand is a bloody axe, which Conan is dropping in surprise.

The lawyer speaks, an annoyed expression on his face. Conan reacts with shock and fear.

LAWYER: This really isn’t helping your case.

CONAN: By Crom! How are you STILL talking?

LAWYER: I’m a lawyer.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken Fat” is an old-fashioned cartoonist expression for what we might now call “Easter Eggs”: unimportant but hopefully amusing details the cartoonist sticks in.

In panel 1, one of the arrows that has landed on the ground appears to have a love letter wrapped around it.

In panel 2, the Drake is suddenly wearing a watch, which it checks impatiently.

In panel 4, the Drake is fearfully making a cross with its forefingers. Also, a vulture has shown up and is eyeing the corpse; the vulture is wearing a napkin tied around its neck.

Conan vs Copyright | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Free speech, censorship, copyright law, etc. | 3 Comments

Cartoon: Swing Voters

Posted on July 29, 2024 by Ampersand

This is another cartoon with a timelapse drawing video!

I thought of this cartoon after listening to a news report interviewing swing voters. The swing voters they interviewed weren’t stupid, and they all seemed likable. But they were very, very ignorant. Ignorant of policies, ignorant of what a President’s actual job powers are, ignorant of what sources of information are credible.

I can’t even tell you what news report it was, since I didn’t realize until later that it was the inspiration for a cartoon, and therefore I didn’t jot down a note for myself so I could find it later. And frankly, there are a million news reports and articles and podcasts interviewing swing voters.

Which is no surprise, because the question the sports fan in panel three asks – “what are swing voters thinking?” – is a question that dominates so much political thought. There are legions of smart people at every level of our political culture – journalists, academics, politicians, pollsters (of course), political junkies, cartoonists and so on – who are understandably obsessed with swing voters.

Because swing voters decide close elections. And close elections decide everything else.

Which is kind of terrifying because swing voters are, as mentioned, very much on the ignorant side. In 2008 – but his general findings still apply today – conservative scholar Ilya Somin wrote:

…In my research using questions from the 2000 National Election Study, I found that self-identified “Independent-Independents” could on average correctly answer only 9.5 of 31 basic political knowledge questions, scoring much lower than self-described “strong Democrats” (15.4) and “strong Republicans” (18.7). Many other studies find similar results.

Thus, the voters who know the least are the ones who tend to determine electoral outcomes. Not exactly a comforting thought.

So that’s what this cartoon is attempting to capture – an entire nation thinking about what swing voters think, while swing voters themselves barely think at all.

Drawing a high messy stack of papers is super fun. I don’t know why it’s fun, but it is. It’s one of these drawing tasks, like crosshatching, that logically should be tedious but actually makes me happy.

The rest of the drawing was fun, too. I’m very aware of my limitations as an artist – I draw better than most people, but I’m terrible compared to the cartoonists I admire most. But despite that, I get enormous enjoyment out of the act of drawing, and from looking at my own work once I’m done.

This is a common mindset among artists – you need to both love your work enough to want to keep on doing it, and hate it enough to be motivated to try and make it better.

On the whole, though, this is an awesome job and I’m so lucky to be able to do this. (So, thanks, patrons!)

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, each of which shows a different scene with different characters. Each panel is marked with a caption at the top: Academic, Pundit, Regular Voters, and Swing Voters.

PANEL 1

CAPTION: ACADEMIC

A professorial type, in a vest and tie, is seating behind a desk. There’s a wooden bookcase in the background, and a couple of “in and out” style boxes on his desk piled with papers.

PROFESSOR: There are relatively few so-called “swing voters” – but they decide elections! In a sense, swing voters are the real rulers of the country!

PANEL 2

CAPTION: PUNDIT

We are looking at a flatscreen TV. On the TV, a well-dressed woman in a pale blue jacket over a red blouse is smiling and talking to us. The screen graphics (a channel 4 logo, a US flag design shaped like the US) make this look like some sort of news program.

PUNDIT: Winning elections is all about giving swing voters what they want! And by some coincidence, what swing voters want matches what I want! As my uber driver told me the other day…

PANEL 3

CAPTION: REGULAR VOTERS

We’re looking at two people standing in a park: There’s a woman wearing a floral pattern skirt, speaking to us and shrugging. And a man wearing a knit cap is standing, looking up from the newspaper he was reading to address us. Both of them look bewildered.

WOMAN: I don’t understand how anyone’s “undecided” at this point.

MAN: What are swing voters thinking?

PANEL 4

CAPTION: SWING VOTERS

Three people are standing in a row – perhaps waiting on line – on a city sidewalk. A sandwich sideboard sign – also known as an A-frame sign – stands in front of the sidewalk, with the word “VOTE” and a pointing arrow.

From left to right, the swing voters are: A blonde man with nice hair, grinning widely and pressing a hand to his chest in an “I’m so smart” gesture. A black-haired woman with glasses is talking back to the blonde man, with a critical expression on her face. And a balding man wearing a striped izod shirt is looking at a “voter’s guide” pamphlet with a worried expression.

BLONDE MAN: I’ve finally chosen! I’m voting for the one with shinier hair.

GLASSES WOMAN: That’s stupid! I vote based on the weather.

BALD MAN: Anyone know what country we live in?

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is a long-dead cartoonists’ expression for unimportant but hopefully amusing details stuck in by the artist.

PANEL 1: There are four books on the bookcase with legible spines. They are entitled “Unread Vol. 1,” “Unread Vol. 46,” “Dull Stuff,” and “Even Duller.” There’s some sort of mouse-like creature with big ears also hanging out on the bookcase. The two boxes on the professor’s desk are labeled “Actual Research” – that one has a small stack of papers – and “Papers To Grade,” with a ridiculously high stick of papers.

PANEL 2: The Chiron text at the bottom of the screen says “Reading Chyron Text Causes Cancer,” and then in smaller print underneath, “Don’t stop reading, kit’s too late for you anyhow.”

PANEL 3: I’m not sure this even counts as a chicken fat, but when I was drawing the stones lying on the grass on the bottom center of the panel, I was consciously arranging them to look like the top of Homer Simpson’s head and big staring eyes.

The newspaper the man is reading says “SPORTS” in big letters across the top. The top headline says “Fit People Wearing Numbers Move a Ball Around YAY.” A lower headline says “TRAGIC: Juggling Still Not Real Sport.”

PANEL 4: The sandwich board says “VOTE” in big letters, then in smaller letters under that it says “if you don’t vote the fascists may win! Is that really how you spell ‘fascists’? That’s a lot of S’s.”

The man with the Voter’s Guide is holding it upside down.

A newspaper lying on the sidewalk says “The Daily Background” on top. The headline says in large letters “DOG BITES MAN.” Then there are two side-by-side photos, showing a pleased looking doggy and a frightened running man. Below the photos is the subheading, which says “Headline Writer Is Very Bored.”

Swing Voters | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Elections and politics | 10 Comments

Cartoon: The Conservative Guide To Fighting Poverty

Posted on July 13, 2024 by Ampersand

This is another cartoon I made a two-minute timelapse video for.

Making these videos is easy and I enjoy showing them to folks, so I’ll continue doing them now and then.

Two things to watch out for in the timelapse video:

1) The moment I realize I’ve lost a bunch of lines I drew, and write “AAARGH” in big red letters over the cartoon. It goes by in about a split second.

2) Watch when I’m drawing panel four. You’ll see that I just can’t decide what I want there, and it’s fun (for me at least) to watch the ideas come and go.

I’ve been doing more of this format lately – a “talking pundit heads” cartoon which focuses visually not on the pundits, but on ordinary people in listening (or not listening) to the pundit. It’s the Doonesbury influence on my work showing. The punchline of this cartoon also feels very Doonesburyesque to me.

I drew panel two while looking at this photo:

I didn’t trace – not that I’m against tracing in some circumstances, but in this case it wasn’t necessary. But obviously I found a lot of details in this photo that I used in my drawing.

The photo, by the way, is by Amsterdam photographer Wynand van Poortvliet. There’s a gallery of his photos here, and some of them are really cool.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows a different character and a different scene.

PANEL ONE

A woman holds up her phone and is tapping on it with an intense expression. She’s sitting in a kitchen; an open laptop on the table shows two men talking to each other, a tie-wearing TV host type and his guess, who is wearing a style I think of as “expensive sloppy,” with a cream colored suit jacket over an open collar shirt with no tie. The woman doesn’t seem to be paying attention to the discussion coming from the laptop.

TV HOST: Our guest today is Billionaire Hedge Fund Manager Rick Datface, discussing his new book “The Conservative Guide To Fighting Poverty.” So is your book about improving safety nets? Raising the minimum wage?

DATFACE (from laptop): Heck no!

PANEL TWO

An man wearing a bright orange safety vest over a striped shirt is pushing a hand trolly down a city sidewalk. The trolly is piled with cardboard boxes of various shapes and sizes. He’s also wearing headphones over a knit hat, listening to the same program we saw in panel one.

DATFACE (from headphones): The minimum wage hurts poor people by killing jobs! Even if economists say there’s overwhelming proof it doesn’t! Every policy to help the poor hurts them, and if we care we should stop helping!

PANEL THREE

A close-up on a hand holding a smartphone; on the smartphone screen, Datface continues speaking. He’s holding up a finger in a “I’m making a point here!” gesture, and his expression is passionate. The video channel appears to be called “FUX.”

DATFACE (from smartphone): Even the so-called “incredibly effective” anti-child-poverty measures that weren’t renewed (thank god) definitely harmed poor kids in an unidentified way! Only trickle down works!

PANEL FOUR

A woman sits at a table, looking dejectedly at bills spread on the table in front of her. Behind her, there’s a dresser with a TV on top of it, and we can see Datface on it, holding his hands together in front of his chin and trying to look very innocent and wide-eyed.

TV HOST (from TV): So the only way to fight poverty is… Tax giveaways for billionaires?

DATFACE: And we hate taking the money! But we’ll make the sacrifice.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

Chicken fat is a venerable (fancy word for old) cartoonist’s expression for meaningless but maybe amusing details in a comic strip.

PANEL 1: There’s a piece of paper held to the fridge door by a magnet. It says: “Shopping. 1. Food. 2. Water. 3. Oxygen. 4. Repeat.”

PANEL 2: There’s a walk/don’t walk in the background. The “don’t walk” side is a figure looking at its wristwatch, while the “walk” side shows the figure disco dancing.

Also, the street sign says we’re on “Unread Ave.”

And a piece of paper littering the sidewalk says “LOST my drive. If found…”

PANEL 3: The Chiron at the bottom of the image on the smartphone says “Shock: Cher Leads Invading Force From Mars.” And a second line says “Superstar says hostile invasion won’t affect tour schedule.”

The name of the video channel is “Fux,” which sounds a little like “Fox” and also a little like a dirty word! Wow, I just do the MOST sophisticated humor, don’t I?

PANEL 4: There are three bills on the table. They say “Overdue. Shame!,” “Past due you scum,” and “Pay up you dufus we’re not afraid to break some limbs.”

The Chiron text on the TV in the background is so tiny that I doubt anyone will be able to make it out unless they’re reading this cartoon in the books (because paper is higher res). But for the record, the top line says “Study: Background Gag Too Small To Be Read.” And the second line says, “”No comment,” says incompetent cartoonist.” (Ironically, when I first posted this cartoon I misspelled “incompetent.”)

Also, the woman has a tattoo of Groucho Marx on her arm.

The Conservative Guide To Fighting Poverty | Patreon

 

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Conservative zaniness, right-wingers, etc., Economics and the like | 33 Comments

Comic: New Solutions To The Trolley Car Problem

Posted on July 9, 2024 by Ampersand

This cartoon is by me and Becky Hawkins.

Becky writes:

I had way too much fun with the details in this cartoon! In panel 4, the script said:

Nearby, either on the ground or on the other end of the park bench, or on a branch in the background, are two pigeons, one posing and the other taking the first one’s photo.

My brain translated that to: “Pigeon selfie. Pigeon selfie with food. Pigeon selfie with takeout food. PIGEON SELFIE WITH TAKEOUT POUTINE THAT FELL ON THE GROUND!”

This is my favorite result from searching pigeon-photos:

I just realized the selfie pigeon and the libertarian have similar beanies. I too own a green beanie. The libertarian’s lamp, chair, records in crates, and whiskey/reading nook aren’t mine, but I’ve lived under the same roof as them.

I asked Barry over gChat: Can you think of anything funny for the not-presidential seal, other than the eagle/olive branch/arrows?

Barry: How about putting a different famous cartoon bird in each one? Daffy Duck, Tweety, Woodstock, Foghorn Leghorn, Opus the Penguin, Big Bird and Sam the Eagle are all possibilities.

I chose Big Bird and Sam the Eagle because they contrast with each other and double as a commentary on the Democratic and Republican parties. I’m so happy with how the drawings came out!

The Muppets were drawn free-hand, but I traced the trolley from this 1940s photo:

(I may have wasted some time trying to figure out which intersection in Portland that is. W Burnside around NW 19th, I believe.)

Gory isn’t really my thing. I didn’t consciously put off drawing the body pile and splatters until the last minute. But I had already drawn, colored, and shaded the entire rest of the comic before I started doodling body parts under the trolley.

The trolleys were originally red like the ones in the photo. I changed them to light orange so the blood splatters would stand out more. I picked light orange after the famously cute trams in Lisbon, which are on my travel bucket list.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows a different scene with one character in it. And each panel has a caption, in large letters, at the top. A large caption over the top of the entire strip says NEW SOLUTIONS TO THE TROLLEY CAR PROBLEM.

PANEL ONE

CAPTION: REPUBLICANS

A smiling, well-dressed woman with long hair stands behind a podium, gesturing to indicate a trolley car parked behind her. The trolley car is gory with blood spattered all over the front, and we can see bodies in a pile under the car.

WOMAN: Cleaning blood off a trolley car is expensive! That’s why we’re proposing tax breaks for trolley car companies!

PANEL TWO

CAPTION: LIBERTARIANS

A man with a very thick orange beard, wearing a green knit cap and a plaid shirt, is sitting in his armchair at home and speaking directly to us, with an intense expression. He’s holding a joint in one hand and raising his I’m-making-an-important-point-now-forefinger with the other. Next to him one one side are a bunch of LP records stored in milk cartons; on the other side is a side table with a bottle of whisky, a whisky glass, and a thick book.

MAN: Trolley car companies need freedom to choose who to run over without bureaucrats getting in the way! Deregulate now!

PANEL THREE

CAPTION: DEMOCRATS

This is the same scene as panel one, but now a frightened looking old man, wearing huge glasses, a jacket and a bow tie, is behind the podium. He is shaking and sweating a bit as he talks to us. His dialogue is split into three balloons.

MAN: Something must be done! Er, someday. Maybe. If no one disagrees. Gotta stay bipartisan!

PANEL FOUR

CAPTION: TERFs

A woman wearing a blue pantsuit, and with nicely-done short white hair, is sitting on a park bench, looking thoughtful.

WOMAN (thought): One person’s life versus six people’s lives… Hmmm. Which choice hurts more trans people?

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an old-timey cartoonists’ expression for fun but irrelevant details the cartoonist puts in.

PANEL 1: The seal on the front of the Republican’s podium shows a stern Sam the Eagle from the Muppets, and the words going around the seal say “Resistance is Futile.”

PANEL 2: There’s the classic kitten hanging from a branch poster in the background, but instead of “hang in there” it says “just fall already.” The book on the side table has the title “The Featherhead.”

PANEL 3: The seal on the front of the Democrat’s podium shows a friendly Big Bird from the Muppets, and the words going around the seal say “Pretty Please Re-Elect Us.”

PANEL 4: A takeout container of poutine has spilled on the ground; two pigeons are posing by it and taking a selfie using a tiny phone on a tiny selfie stick.

New Solutions To The Trolley Car Problem! | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Conservative zaniness, right-wingers, etc., Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans and Queer issues, Transsexual and Transgender related issues | 9 Comments

Cartoon: Honest Miranda Warnings

Posted on June 27, 2024 by Ampersand

The U.S. justice system is completely awful, and most Americans have no idea. And it’s not just the cops. Our entire justice system is unfairly skewed in a myriad of ways, and it feels like there’s always some new terrible thing to discover.

For instance, I only recently learned about “pay to stay” laws, laws that charge prisoners for every day they’re in prison. This serves to guarantee that after serving their sentences, prisoners will be badly in debt (and sometimes sued by the government), making it even harder to restart life after prison. The exact details vary from state to state. In Connecticut, the charge can be as much as $249 a day. In Florida, the rate is “only” $50 a day – but convicts are charged for the entirety of their sentence, even when they’re released early for good behavior. For instance, Florida recently charged a woman $127,000 for a ten-month prison stay.

There’s some good media out there – warning, “good” in this context means enraging – countering the “greatest justice system in the world” narrative. I’ll recommend two of them here: If you like podcasts, I highly recommend Serial season three, which takes a detailed look at the nitty gritty of how “ordinary” crimes are processed by our system, humanizing the people involved at every level.

And for prose, subscribe to Radley Balko, a reporter who has spent years covering the deficiencies of the justice system with well-written intelligent analysis. Balko’s ongoing series on the state of public defense directly inspired this cartoon.

Regarding panel two: The pressure on all defendants, regardless of guilt, to accept a plea bargain is enormous.

In any given year, 98% of criminal cases in the federal courts end with a plea bargain — a practice that prizes efficiency over fairness and innocence, according to a new report from the American Bar Association.

Regarding panel three: I’m pretty sure that it’s unrealistic to show a DA visiting a prisoner like this. Call it artistic license; I wanted to show them both in the same panel, and I wanted the setting to show the protagonist having moved further inside the carceral system with every successive panel.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, each panel showing a different scene. A caption under the cartoon says HONEST MIRANDA WARNINGS.

PANEL 1

On a litter-covered city sidewalk, a cop is pushing a prisoner. The prisoner, a young Black man wearing an orange t-shirt with a cartoon cat on it, has his hands handcuffed behind his back.

COP: You have the right to remain silent. I have the right to brutalize or kill you, and even if there’s a video I’ll probably get away with it.

PANEL 2

We are in a tiny windowless room, where the arrested guy from panel one is sitting at a table, opposite a balding man wearing a suit. The arrested guy listens with a blank, somewhat surprised expression while the suit-wearing man talks to him, one palm held open in a “let me explain this” gesture.

SUIT GUY: You have the right to be provided with an insanely overworked public defender like me. I won’t have time or resources to defend you as well as I’d like, and I’ll tell you to take a plea bargain even if you’re innocent.

PANEL 3

We’re in a prison visiting area, the kind with a sheet of glass between prisoners and visitors. The same young man is on the prisoner’s side of the glass. On the visiting side of the glass is a woman with her black hair in a bun, wearing a business jacket over a black blouse and blue pinstriped pants. She’s pointing at the prisoner, and grinning as she talks.

WOMAN: As your prosecutor I have the right to lie in court to withhold key evidence, and basically to do everything I can to destroy you while I remain totally unaccountable.

PANEL 4

We’re in a prison cell. There are two prisoners here, our main character, who is still looking stunned, and his cellmate, a bald man whose arm and neck are covered with tattoos. The cellmate is lying with his eyes closed on the lower bunk of a bunk bed, and speaking. The main character is sitting on a plastic chair.

CELLMATE: We’ve got the right to be beaten by other prisoners and by the guards. We’ve got the right to be charged $50 a day for this crap.

MAIN CHARACTER (thought): Sometimes I want fewer rights.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an outdated cartoonists’ expression for unimportant but hopefully amusing little gags and references in the art. Lots of chicken fat in this one, for some reason.

PANEL 1

On the main character’s t-shirt is a picture of Jiji, the cat from Kiki’s Delivery Service.

The cop’s tattoo shows a tic-tac-toe game in progress. “O” is a terrible player and “X” is guaranteed to win.

Graffiti on the wall behind them says “Barry was here.”

A newspaper page lying on the sidewalk says “Local News: Litter Bug Drops Paper.”

Other little scraps of paper say “Don’t read this” and “or this.”

There’s a single glove lying on the sidewalk. That’s not much of a gag, it’s just that I always see single gloves – or worse, single shoes! – lying on the ground and wonder how that came about.

PANEL 2

A sheet of paper the lawyer brought with him has the heading “Blah Blah” at the top.

The main character is wearing the same t-shirt, but the character on the shirt is now a different Studio Ghibli creature – a susuwatari from “My Neighbor Totoro.”

PANEL 3

A sign on the “visitors” side of the glass partition says “do not give prisoners cigarettes porn or hope.”

PANEL 4

Four books are stacked on a wall shelf. Their spines say “Snoopy” “Charlie” “Lucy” and “Linus.”

A poster on the wall behind the bunk bed shows an angry/determined looking superhero flying through the air in the classic Superman flying pose. The caption above the hero says “Super Hero Film Franchise.” The smaller caption below the hero says “The only kind of story anyone needs!”

A poster on a different wall shows Andy and Ellis from the movie “The Shawshank Redemption.” The large caption above them says “Please Don’t Move Poster.” The smaller lower caption says “There’s no hidden escape tunnel honest.” (The poster is obviously hiding a tunnel, we can see the sides of the tunnel where it’s wider than the poster.)

Honest Miranda Warnings | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, police brutality, Prisons and Justice and Police | 6 Comments

Cartoon: Gender Affirmation Isn’t Just For Trans People

Posted on June 18, 2024 by Ampersand

Note: This one got revised a lot after I first posted it. If you’re curious, you can see the first version here.

It’s unusual for me to do a single-panel cartoon, and when I first wrote this cartoon it was four panels long. But the more I worked on it, the more it seemed like I was just having extra panels for the sake of having extra panels. It got simpler and simpler with each revision, until I wound up with this.

I played a bit with adding a background, if only to have a place to stick in some chicken fat. But with all the captions, a background just made this cartoon hard to read. I thought I’d have to do without any chicken fat at all, but then I remembered that tattoos exist. :-)

Literally this minute, as I’m preparing to post this on “Alas,” I realized I didn’t include “makeup” in the cartoon. And I’ve just posted it on seven other sites. Aaaargh!

Trans people are constantly attacked both for altering their bodies and for following gender norms – two things that many or most cis people also do. There’s a constant double-standard for trans people, in which things that are routine and accepted when cis people do them – like wearing a skirt, or makeup, or cosmetic surgery – are reason for condemnation when trans people do them.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This single-panel cartoon shows two people, standing and talking directly to the viewer. There is a blonde woman with glasses and a nice layered haircut swept to one side; she’s wearing a blue jacket over a black blouse and a yellow skirt with tiny red dots, and wedge sandals. And there’s a redheaded man, rather muscular, with a red mustache, a striped izod shirt, and jeans. He’s holding a book and his arms are tattooed.

The two of them are surrounded by about twenty little captions with arrows pointing to specific details.

WOMAN: Why can’t trans people just accept their bodies as they are?

MAN: “Gender affirmation” is woke crap! Normal people don’t do that!

CAPTIONS POINTED AT WOMAN:

Used to be brunette

Botox

Not her original nose

Nair

Makeup

Plucked brows

Boob job

Liposuction

Pieced ears

Spironolactone (reduces hair)

Spanx

Shaved legs

Heels

CAPTIONS POINTED AT MAN:

Hair Transplant Surgery

Finasteride (pointed at hair)

Carefully tended stubble

Not his original chin

“Old Spice deodorant for men”

Gynecomastia surgery (male breast reduction)

Keys for giant truck with never used cargo bed

Testosterone injections

(Pointing at the book he’s carrying): “Super Testosterone” by Andrew Tate.

Calf Implants

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is a long-dormant cartoonists’ term for unnecessary but hopefully amusing details in a cartoon.

In this case, we just have the man’s tattoos. They include a tattoo of a steaming mug of coffee; the mug has “unimportant details” printed on it. There’s also a happy striped snake, a hot dog, and Bender from the TV show Futurama.

On his other arm are tattoos of a teddy pig (like a teddy bear, but a pig) and Barry the cartoonist, both smiling and waving hi.

Why Can’t Trans People Accept Their Bodies As They Are? | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans and Queer issues, Transsexual and Transgender related issues | 13 Comments

Cartoon: The Absent Fatso

Posted on May 31, 2024 by Ampersand

Not related to anything – I clicked on a YouTube video for a cover of Billy Joel’s “Scenes From an Italian Restaurant,” both because I love that song (sorry Billy Joel haters!) and because the name of the group – “Middle Aged Dad Jam Band” – made me chuckle. And about halfway through the video, I realized that the drummer is someone I went to summer camp with forty years ago. The internet is weird. (Also, Weird Al.)

I’ve done essay comics before, but not often, partly because they just take FOREVER to do. But I like the form, and I’d like to do these more often if I can manage it.

This is not, I admit, an important issue. Fatphobia is an important issue, but the way TV and movie writers like to do anti-fat humor without actually showing fat people is just a symptom. But I find watching how they do it interesting, and it’s not something I’ve seen many people talk about.

One thing I had to think about a lot, writing this cartoon, is how to show fat people in it. Should I just make the entire comic the “Barry” character talking to the audience, not showing anyone else? Visually kind of boring. Plus, given the theme of the cartoon, it seemed weird to not show fat people.

But I didn’t want panel after panel of fat people being hurt by the way the media depicts us. That’s just depressing, and it creates a visual story of fat people as helpless sad sacks that I didn’t want to tell.

What I finally settled on was showing a bunch of fat people experiencing anti-fat media, but I tried to show them (as much as can be done with characters who appear for only one panel) as people with lives and interests and pleasures, rather than just victims of a prejudiced media. Trying to do the complete opposite of how a show like “Friends” treats fat people, in other words.

(And yes, if anyone’s wondering, I’ve watched and enjoyed some episodes of “Friends.” Despite it’s myriad of flas, it can be a funny show! But one of the things I enjoy about it is complaining about it.)

Thanks, as always, to everyone supporting my Patreon! This comic – because of the odd essay format, because it took a lot of time that couldn’t be spent on other comics, and because it’s about fatphobia – is an example of a comic strip that I probably couldn’t make if my Patreon supporters weren’t making it possible. So thank you!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has fourteen panels, so it’s kind of a long one.

PANEL 1

A drawing of Barry (the cartoonist) relaxing on a sofa, holding a tablet and talking directly at the readers with a friendly expression.

BARRY: Ever notice how lots of movies and TV shows tell fat jokes without showing fat people?

PANEL 2

A very fat woman with carefully-styled curly black curly hair is speaking, looking self-satisfied. Text identifies her as “Celesta Geyer, 1930s circus fat lady.”

CAPTION: In ye olden days, when folks wanted to laugh at fat people, they’d go to the circus. Today we’ve got reality TV for that.

CELESTA: “People laugh at me anyway, so I make them pay for the privilege.”

PANEL 3

Barry is talking to us, smiling and leaning an arm on the panel border.

BARRY: But some viewers find reality TV too vulgar. They want to laugh at fat jokes, but laughing directly at fat people feels too crude.

PANEL 4

Barry is looking at us and standing in front of a TV; he points a remote control at the TV as he speaks.

BARRY: So TV and movie writers have developed strategies for laughing at fat people without showing fat people.

PANEL 5

Big, friendly looking lettering takes up most of this panel; it says THE ABSENT FATSO. Barry leans over the top of the lettering, still talking to us.

BARRY: I call these strategies…

LETTERING: THE ABSENT FATSO

PANEL 6

A hand is holding a smartphone; on the smartphone is a picture of Homer Simpson eating a donut. Homer is speaking to us, continuing Barry’s dialog.

HOMER/BARRY: Strategies like… The Animated Fatso! Cartoon fatties are always safe to laugh at!

PANEL 7

A fat woman with her thick black hair tied back is standing at a kitchen counter, holding a large knife. She seems to be cutting a slice of bread off a fresh baked loaf. An open laptop lies on the counter nearby; dialog is coming out of the laptop, but it doesn’t have a word balloon, making it less like dialog and more like a background element.

CAPTION: Or The Off-Screen Fatso! Think of Howard’s Ma on “Big Bang Theory,” or Ugly Naked Guy on “Friends.”

LAPTOP: Ma doesn’t have a neck. Just chins and fat and feet.

PANEL 8

Two extremely happy looking fat women are cuddling a small baby. A laptop is on a countertop nearby, next to a feeding bottle. Small dialog is coming from the laptop, but no one’s paying it any attention.

CAPTION: Or the ex-fatso! This character supposedly used to be fat. But they’re played by a thin actor so fat jokes about them are okay. Like Will on “Will and Grace” or Monica on “Friends.”

LAPTOP: It’s a new band called “Will Is Fat.”

PANEL 9

This panel shows two versions of Barry, with a lightning-bolt-shaped graphic dividing them. On the left, actual Barry, in a t-shirt that says “flashback,” is talking to us and snapping his fingers. On the right, imaginary thin Barry is smiling as he talks to us; his t-shirt says “present.”

FAT BARRY: ( Annoyingly, the “ex-fatso” trope supports the myth that any fat person could simply choose to become and remain thin. )

THIN BARRY: So easy!

PANEL 10

A fat woman sits at a cafe table, with a coffee mug and book and muffin on the table. She’s got a drawing board propped up on the table, and is leaning forward as she draws, looking pleased with what she’s drawing. She has an undercut, many earrings and a nosering, and tattoos. She also has a cell phone propped up; dialog comes from the phone, but it’s small and she doesn’t seem to be paying it much attention.

PHONE: Thor, eat a salad!

PANEL 11

A fat man sits in an armchair, watching TV. He has a old cowboy movie style of dress, with an embroidered shirt and sideburns. His cat has jumped into his lap and is cautiously stepping onto his stomach to sniff at his nose; he smiles at the cat.

TV: Look at my titties, Austin Powers.

PANEL 12

We’re looking at a TV; a thermos is in front of the TV, and a sock is lying on top of the TV. On the TV, Barry is talking straight out at us, looking serious.

BARRY: If a real fat person played “Fat Bastard,” some (not all) viewers would have felt uncomfortable. That reminder that fat people are people could make things less fun.

PANEL 13

All the previous rows had three panels each; this row has two panels, so panels 13 and 14 are a bit larger than previous panels have been.

We are looking at the inside of a dim movie theater, looking at a section of the audience. There are about a dozen people in this panel, all fat, all watching the movie – except for Barry, seating in the middle of the group, who is talking to us, and the woman seated to his left, who has turned to face Barry.

BARRY: But even when Hollywood doesn’t show us, we’re still here. In the audience. Being sneered at by proxy. Can’t the studios just skip the fat jokes altogether? And also, hire more fat act–

WOMAN: Ssh!

PANEL 14

A well-lit, large office, with a large fancy-looking desk, and a big window overlooking a city. There are framed movie posters on the wall. An executive-looking man wearing a collared shirt and tie is sitting behind the desk, in a big leather-looking chair, and talking cheerfully into his phone. On his desk are a notebook (paper kind), an open laptop, a second phone, and a framed photo.

EXECUTIVE: Just a sec, gotta turn off some internet weirdo. So I got budget numbers on that fat suit comedy…

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is a long-dead term for the little bits of unimportant but hopefully amusing things cartoonists stick in the backgrounds of their comics.

PANEL 1: There is a framed photo of Garnet, from the TV show “Steven Universe,” on the wall. On the sidetable is a magazine called “NO IDEAS MAGAZINE,” with a front cover photo of a stick figure man shrugging, and a coffee mug with “I’m actually a fork” printed on it.

PANEL 3: Barry’s tshirt says “allergic to sunshine.”

PANEL 4: Barry’s tshirt now has a picture of a very muscular arm flexing, above the large letters TOUGH GUY. If you zoom in, you can read the small letters, which make it say “not a TOUGH GUY you can easily take me down.”

PANEL 6: Homer’s t-shirt has a picture of Binky from “Life In Hell,” the comic strip Matt Groening did before he created The Simpsons.

PANEL 8: One woman’s arm has tattoos of two Steven Universe characters, Garnet and Pearl. The other woman has many visible tattoos, including a sort of demonic skeleton Micky Mouse, and a coffee mug saying “cofee = god.”

PANEL 10: The woman’s tattoos include a dancing banana and a ring of keys. The book on her table says, on the front cover, “A Book by an Author,” and on the spine it says “a Spine.”

PANEL 12: A book lying next to the TV has READ THIS written on the spine.

PANEL 13: In the audience, all the way at top left of the panel, is Uncle Iroh from “Avatar: The Last Airbender.”

PANEL 14: The movie posters on the wall are for the movies “MOVIE POSTER” and its sequel, “MOVIE POSTER 2.”

The Absent Fatso | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Fat, fat and more fat, Media criticism | 36 Comments

Cartoon: Who Would You Rather Meet In The Forest?

Posted on May 22, 2024 by Ampersand

This cartoon is by me and Nadine Scholtes.

As some of you know, a couple of weeks ago – which is approximately forty centuries in internet time – a question went viral on the web: Asking women if they’d rather be in the woods with an unknown bear or an unknown man?

A majority of women are choosing the bear. In one TikTok video, which was viewed 17 million times, 7 out of 8 women said they’d pick the bear.

When asked to explain their decision, many women responded that they know a bear would either leave them alone or kill them, whereas they fear the details of exactly what a man could do to them.

Many men in the internet were loudly angry with this.

Nadine emailed me, asking if I was going to do a cartoon about “the bear thing.” I hadn’t considered it, and my first thought was “nah.” As I told Nadine, “I’d only do a bear or man cartoon if it could be done in a way so that the strip will still make sense long after this current moment passes.”

But then on my walk to work (by “work” I mean, the coffee shop I do most of my drawing in), the idea for this strip jumped into my mind. And I realized that it explained itself – in fact, I think this strip will probably work better in a couple of years than it does now, because right now the reaction from many readers will be “wait, that was so last week,” whereas in a couple of years people will have forgotten the whole thing.

My sense of humor is very whimsical, which isn’t the traditional approach political cartoons take. One thing that makes working with Nadine fun for me is that she shares that love of whimsy, and this cartoon proved to be a perfect vehicle for whimsy from both me and Nadine.

In the original script, I had the two office workers magically transported to a forest for panels two and three (with a bear there, of course), returning to the office in panel four. That didn’t work for Nadine, and she suggested instead having a bear come up to a window and steal the honey, which I loved.

I love it when a cartoon develops that way, through collaborative back and forth.

I asked Nadine if she had any thoughts she’d like me to include here. She wryly admitted that part of the reason she suggested this cartoon is that she wanted to draw a bear. :-p But she also wrote:

I chose the bear too and I saw how badly people react to this question. And how those people react is proof of why I chose the bear.

If you are attacked by a bear (surviving or not) people will believe you, if you are attacked by a man, people will question you.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has five panels, arranged as a four-panel strip, and then an “extra” panel below the bottom of the strip.

PANEL 1

We’re in the break room in an office building. There’s a poster on the wall, a counter, a coffee maker. There are two people who both look to be in their 20s or early 30s, both wearing office-appropriate clothing. There’s a woman with pink hair, wearing a white blouse and a dark gray suit, and a man wearing a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a dark gray tie. Both are holding coffee mugs.

There’s a bottle of honey on the windowsill.

The man is asking a question, just making small talk; the woman is looking a little surprised by his question.

MAN: So if you were alone in a forest, would you rather run into a strange man… or a bear?

PANEL 2

The woman, looking a little pensive, speaks. The man replies to her with an angry expression and body language.

In the window behind them, unnoticed by either of them, a large brown bear is stealing the jar of honey, and watching the humans with a slightly surprised expression.

WOMAN: Oh, hmm… I think, the bear.

MAN: How can you SAY that?

PANEL 3

The man is now full on yelling, waving his coffee mug. The woman winces back, holding her hands protectively over her chest. In the window, the bear looks frightened, and ducks away.

MAN: You’re demonizing men! It’s MISANDRY!!

PANEL 4

The women walks away, her back to the man, an irritated expression on her face. The man doesn’t seem to catch that she’s being sarcastic; he’s smiling and calm, happy to have (in his mind) won the argument. The bear, and the honey pot, are both gone.

WOMAN: Good point. Why would I ever fear men’s reactions?

MAN: Exactly!

MAN: …where did the honey go?

EXTRA PANEL BELOW THE BOTTOM OF THE STRIP

The bear and the woman are talking. The woman holds out her coffee mug for the bear to put some honey in.

WOMAN: At least if you maul me, people won’t say I made it up or I’m misinterpreting.

BEAR: I hear you.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is a long-dead cartoonists term for unimportant but hopefully amusing details.

PANEL 1: A workplace-motivation style poster on the wall shows a cartoon raccoon wearing a striped shirt like a cartoon criminal. It’s holding a coffee mug in one hand, giving us a thumbs up with the other, and winking. The caption on the poster says “Long coffee breaks rob the company.”

The man’s coffee mug has “Nice Guy” printed on it.

PANEL 2: The motivational poster has changed It now shows The White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland glaring at us and pointing to his oversized pocket watch. A large caption at the top says “WORK!” and a subcaption at the bottom says “don’t waste time reading posters.”

PANEL 3: In the first two panels, the man was holding a spoon in one hand (to stir his coffee). In this panel, we can see that in his anger he bends the spoon in his hand.

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Feminism, sexism, etc | 105 Comments

Cartoon: Free Speech on Campus

Posted on May 9, 2024 by Ampersand

In the first draft of this cartoon, the first panel went out of its way to make fun of Emma Camp’s New York Times article about students being afraid to say controversial things. Camp described her own freedom of speech being threatened when Camp said something unpopular in class: “I saw people shift in their seats. Someone got angry, and then everyone seemed to get angry.”

Camp’s article was praised highly by centrists and conservatives who, I think it’s fair to say, are proud of themselves for their support of free speech.

That same week, the Times published an editorial which said:

Americans are losing hold of a fundamental right as citizens of a free country: the right to speak their minds and voice their opinions in public without fear of being shamed or shunned.

Years ago, I drew a comic strip for the University of Massachusetts student newspaper. One cartoon caused a bunch of students to get very angry at me – so angry that they circulated a petition condemning me and my strip, which is almost as bad as shifting in their seats. But it never occurred to me that what they were doing was a threat to my free speech.

(They eventually invited me to come talk; I think there were thirty or forty of them and one me. But they ended up being nice, as people sometimes are when it’s face to face. We never ended up fully agreeing, but we agreed that we all meant well and that was pretty much the end of it.)

I’d certainly like people to be kinder. But the Times editorial board, and Emma Camp, don’t seem to give enough weight to the fact that counterspeech and criticism – even if someone is shamed – is also free speech. No matter how uncomfortable it might have made me to have a petition against me at UMASS, they still had a free speech right to circulate their petition.

Law student Trevor Floyd wrote:

The truth is that when people like Camp and Youngkin argue for more free speech on college campuses by citing to the reactions and consequences of unpopular statements, they are actually arguing against free speech. Camp at one point cites an experience where she expressed a point of view that made her classmates upset, obtusely writing that she “can tell” when a discussion “goes poorly” for her. Camp also references a Republican peer who chooses not to talk about his politics openly because he does not want his classmates to react poorly. According to Camp’s essay, these and other similar stories amount to an assault on free speech and debate.

But what Camp seems to want is speech at any time without consequence. Perhaps students in class don’t engage in “debate” in the way Camp desires because they recognize they are there to learn, not to be the loudest person in the room. Perhaps students react poorly to a peer trumpeting conservative politics because they find those politics harmful. Nobody has threatened to imprison or harm Camp for exercising her speech, but she seems to believe that a reciprocation of that exercise is essentially the same thing.

When it comes to the possible chilling of free speech on campus, centrist and right-wing defenders of campus free speech have been exquisitely sensitive. The smallest things – a disagreement that is too strongly worded, students shifting in their seats – have frequently been described as serious threats to speech on campus.

Yes, as we’ve seen this year, many of those same critics see no free speech threat when police in riot gear swarm onto campus to arrest and drag away largely peaceful protestors against Israel’s invasion of Gaza. In fact, they’ve been excusing the arrests of protestors, pointing to “content neutral” rules and some Jewish students feeling uncomfortable.

Abdallah Fayyad at VOX points out that these excuses don’t hold much water:

In many cases, universities have alleged that the protests were disruptive and pointed to the fact that some Jewish students felt that the encampments created an unsafe environment for them on campus. While harassment and intimidation can be reasons to involve law enforcement, the accusations against these protesters mostly focused on their chants and campaign slogans — and in many cases wrongly conflate anti-Israel rhetoric with antisemitism. (It’s worth noting that the arrested student protesters have largely been charged with trespassing, not harassment or violent acts.)

One of the other problems with how many universities and officials have responded to pro-Palestinian demonstrations is that they have changed their protest rules since October 7, in some instances specifically targeting Palestinian solidarity groups.

At Columbia, for example, the university issued onerous protest guidelines, including limiting the areas students are allowed to protest and requiring that demonstrations be registered weeks in advance. Northwestern University abruptly imposed a ban on erecting tents and other structures on campus, undermining ongoing protests. Indiana University preemptively changed its rules one day before its students set up an encampment by disallowing tents and changing a decades-old rule. And in Texas, Gov. Greg Abbott issued an executive order requiring that public universities change their free speech policies and singled out pro-Palestinian groups that he said ought to be disciplined.

“Content neutral” rules, when written especially for and enforced specifically against pro-Palestine protesters, are not content neutral, no matter how neutral the words used are.

I genuinely hate that some Jewish students feel unsafe because of protests and anti-Israel chants – and, of course, the few cases of actual assault and direct intimidation are beyond the pale. But the solution is not mass arrests of students who are largely peaceful and, in many cases, themselves Jewish.

(And the concern for students feeling intimidated is one-sided; no one is talking about Palestinian students being intimidated, or Jewish anti-war activists being intimidated.)

There are some hard, complicated things to think about when it comes to large-scale student protests.

Mass arrests of peaceful protesters isn’t a hard call, though. From a free speech perspective, this should be the easiest call in the world.

That third panel may be the most complicated single panel I draw all this year! There are around thirty five characters in the panel – although of course, a bunch of those are the cops standing in formation. I only drew two of those, then copy-and-pasted to create all the others. (I did draw individual faces on most of them.)

I made the first two panels as simple as they could be, to contrast with the ultra-busy third panel.

Right now I’m pleased with how this comic looks – but of course, I only finished drawing it a couple of hours ago. I hope I’ll still like it in a year or two. And I hope you like it now.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has three panels. The first two panels are normal-sized, while the third panel is gigantic.

PANEL ONE

A man and a woman are walking together, the woman speaking. Neither of them are students, judging from their age and their professional dress.

The man has white-blonde hair and glasses, and is wearing a blue shirt with a black tie. He looks worried. The woman has a red blouse and a black skirt, and has her hair pulled up into a bun. She is holding up a finger in a “this is my point” gesture, and is calm but a bit fervent.

For this and the next panel, the background is blank.

WOMAN: Students have a right to speak their minds without fear of being shamed or shunned. free speech on campus is in danger of being wiped out!

PANEL TWO

The two continue walking. The woman, waving her arms a bit as she gets passionate and a bit angry, continues speaking.

WOMAN: At some schools, students protested and heckled speakers! We must protect free speech from woke student totalitarians!

PANEL THREE

The man and women have come to a stop, and are looking at a protest. The man, looking concerned, speaks to the woman. The woman looks over the protest with a pleased expression, her arms folded.

The main focus in this panel is the protest – and even more, the cops in full riot gear attacking the protest. A huge line of cops in formation are marching towards the protest. Cops are leading away handcuffed protesters; one protester is being held on the ground and beaten. The protesters who aren’t being arrested look terrified. Protest signs lie on the ground.

MAN: So is this a threat to free speech?

WOMAN: No, this is fine.

Free Speech on Campus | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Free speech, censorship, copyright law, etc., Palestine & Israel | 6 Comments

Cartoon: Deux Ex Machina, Suckers!

Posted on May 7, 2024 by Ampersand

This cartoon is another collaboration with awesome cartoonist Nadine Scholtes.

One odd thing about being an atheist, as many atheists have pointed out, is that although we disbelieve in all gods, many of us extra disbelieve in a particular God – whichever God was dominant where we grew up.

In my case, even though I’m Jewish, the God I extra disbelieve in isn’t the Old Testament God – although I disbelieve in him too – but the mainstream American Christian God, the God of sending people to Hell if they haven’t gotten the good word and repented and sent in money and voted pro-life.

(And as I wrote the above paragraph I wondered if this would have been a better cartoon if I’d asked Nadine to draw Jesus instead of God. Aaargh. Too late now.)

There are other versions of Christianity, of course, many far kinder; and other religions than Christianity, as well. But mainline and evangelical Christianity has a power in American culture and politics that no other religion here can claim.

The mainstream Christian notion of Hell is simply incompatible with anything I can view as good. I’ve read many apologetics for it, none of which I’ve found persuasive, but the most common and the least convincing is what I think of as the “Job argument.” In the Book of Job, God has a bet on with the Devil, and as part of the bet God lets the Devil destroy Job’s life and kill Job’s family. When Job suggests this is unfair, God replies “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you know so much.” The implication being that because God is so much bigger and smarter than us, we can’t possibly judge if what God does is just or not.

But this amounts to “might is right,” or perhaps “might and incomprehensible is right.” It suggests that we should worship and obey not because God is good, but just because God is God and has incomprehensible reasons for whatever God does. I can’t accept that.

Although I’ve thought these things for decades, the immediate inspiration for this cartoon was hearing a fascinating episode of This American Life called “Heretics,” which tells “the story of Reverend Carlton Pearson. Pearson, who died last year, was a rising star in the evangelical movement when he cast aside the idea of hell and, with it, everything he’d worked for over his entire life.”

Pearson was expelled from his church in 2004 because he just couldn’t reconcile his understanding of God with the existence of hell. And for a while, it seemed he’d lose everything. But he eventually joined the Unitarians and as far as anyone can tell had no regrets.

I’m an atheist and Pearson wasn’t, but I still have to admire his fortitude. Anyhow, if you enjoy listening to podcasts, I recommend this one.

If you prefer more political cartoons than this, don’t worry – the next couple I’ve got lined up are more overtly political! :-)

In the last couple of weeks, trying to find new outlets now that Xwitter has arbitrarily decided my cartoons are porn, I’ve been posting cartoons on Reddit and Dailykos. Reddit is organized into millions of sub-forums, called subreddits, each of which has its own editorial standards. And so I’ve been experiencing rejection – often for what seems to me to be arbitrary reasons (like the “politicalhumor” subreddit deciding that a cartoon about racism wasn’t sufficiently political).

It’s reminded me of how much I appreciate what my Patreon does for me – it gives me the freedom to to make cartoons about all sorts of subjects, without being subject to the whims and tastes of editors if I want to make a living. So those of you who support the Patreon, thank you all so much for that! You’re giving me a freedom that few political cartoonists have ever had.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels. All of the panels take place in a blue sky with fluffy white clouds.

PANEL 1

A human man, with a beard and a flannel shirt, is standing on a cloud, looking up at God, who is on another, higher cloud. (And is also much larger physically than the human guy). God is drawn in the traditional way: He has a thick white beard and is wearing white robes, and there’s a halo behind His head.

God is grinning and spreading His hands wide in a welcoming manner.

GOD: Hi there, I’m God! Good news! Because I’m so infinitely loving, good and merciful, you get to go to Heaven!

MAN: Okay!

PANEL 2

A close up of God, who as Nadine draws Him has very pretty eyes. He is smiling and pressing his palms together and looking in the direction of the off-panel human.

GOD: But if you don’t love me, I’ll throw you into a lake of burning sulfur where you’ll be tormented day and night forever!

PANEL 3

God smiles down beatifically at the human, who has raised a finger to make a point.

MAN: But… That’s horrible! And it doesn’t make sense! A good god wouldn’t torture people forever!

PANEL 4

A close up of God, with a wailing expression, as He presses the back of His hand to His forehead. He is dissolving into ash, and has already disappeared from the upper chest down.

GOD: Gasp! By pointing out a paradox you’ve defeated me! Now I must turn into ash and die like in that Marvel movie!

PANEL 5

Nothing is left of God but a pyramid-shaped pile of black ash (the ash pile has a halo behind it). In the foreground, the human has mildly surprised body language, and is rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.

MAN: Um…

PANEL 6

God, a merry expression on his face, has reappeared whole on His cloud. He’s crouching down and pointing at the human. Lightning shoots out of God’s finger, engulfing the human and instantly turning the human into a black, charred, and surprised looking skeleton.

GOD: I’m kidding! Have fun suffering in the abyss forever, loser! Hah hah!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

Chicken fat is an obsolete cartoonists’ expression for unimportant but entertaining details the cartoonist slips into the cartoon.

In this cartoon, in panel one, on the lower left, we can see a little dog sniffing at the cloud it’s standing on. The dog is wearing white robs and has a halo and white feathery wings.

We can’t see the cloud the dog is standing on again until panel five. In this panel, the dog is gone, but there’s a yellow puddle on the cloud where the dog was.

Deus Ex Machina, Suckers! | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Dogs, Religion | 18 Comments