Cartoon: Why We Say “As A Jew”


This comic was drawn by Becky Hawkins, who writes:

I wanted to draw this cartoon. I feel like whether and how much I’m seen as Jewish fluctuates depending on where I am and who I’m with, so the conversation about who’s a “real Jew” hits close to home.

I always think that “2 contemporary people arguing” will be quick to draw. Then it seems to take me forever to come up with character designs and poses. (Wouldn’t the pro-Israel character be pointing angrily as in panel 2 the whole time, even if that’s repetitive and boring? I mean, what else would she do with her hands? OH NO, WHAT DO I DO WITH MY HANDS?! It makes me feel like a bad actress.)

Designing the pro-Israel character felt easy. I just visualized “person I would have gone to Hebrew school with” and everything came together. But I needed to look around to find details for the pro-Palestinian student that felt right. I scrolled on Facebook til I saw an ad for a wilderness survival class where someone had those blunt bangs, and the haircut fell into place. I looked up the indie cartoonist Cathy G. Johnson because I remembered Cathy as a snappy dresser in the genre of clothing I had in mind. I didn’t copy any one outfit, but the author photos were helpful. Then I remembered my sister, a crunchy musician and piano technician in Ypsilanti, telling me about buying a shirt from a band she likes… So I texted her:

Me: What was the thing on the band shirt where you were like “IDK if I want to be the person with that band shirt”?

Sister: hahaha an animal skull

Me: Yaythaaanks

Sister: Possum to be specific I believe.

Bingo.


And Barry writes:

I think the term “AsAJew” was coined by Eli Lake in Commentary magazine.

I don’t have much to say about this cartoon, except to say: The string of insults used in panels two and three are all near-direct quotes that real people have said about “asajews.” I edited it for space and to put things in the second person, but all the parts that might be making you go “no one would really say that” – those bits are real.

For example, in response to the news that Kamala Harris’ campaign was recruiting a “Jewish engagement director,” one person tweeted:

Here’s to hope that all normal, non-conditional, non-“asaJew”, non-Soros/Kapo-affiliated Jews will treat this hire as anything what it will be: a cardboard #tokenizer/Kapo POS. It’s time.

(Just imagine a “sic” after any bit of that that seemed to be word salad).

There’s a really extraordinary level of hatred, in some non-representative members of the Jewish community, for Jews that don’t toe the pro-Israel-no-matter-what line. But it’s important to remember that – contrary to what they might think – they don’t represent all of us.


Oh, two more things about this cartoon: I like the way it’s structured, with the fourth panel taking place a few moments before panel one. I’ve done a LOT of these cartoons, but I don’t think I’ve done that before.

And I love that gliding squirrel! The squirrel was entirely Becky’s idea; my only contribution was saying “squirrel, cool!”


I’m sure many of us spent much of the last week searching for news about the destruction of Hurricane Helene. As of this writing, there are still entire towns that are lacking cell tower service, water, and roads, and it’s way too soon for anyone to assess the damage.

I hope that everyone reading this is in a safe place, and that whatever you’ve lost can be restored.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows the same two women having an argument on a grassy area of a college campus (we can see a definitely collegiate brick building in the background). Both of them look like college students.

The student on the left has wavy green hair and is wearing a dark tank top with ripped armholes and collar and a drawing of a possum skull on the front. She has a septum piercing and is wearing leather boots.

The student on the right has wavy brunette hair and is rather nattily dressed in a blue sweater vest over a pink front-button shirt, rectangular glasses, and heeled boots.

Let’s call these two GREENIE and GLASSES.

PANEL 1

Greenie talks to Glasses with an earnest expression; Glasses has turned away from Greenie with her arms crossed, and looks annoyed.

GREENIE: I am Jewish, and as a Jew, I think what Israel’s doing is horr-

GLASSES: “As a Jew.” Hah! You know why anti-Israel Jews always say they’re speaking “as a Jew”?

PANEL 2

Greenie spreads her arm in an “explainy” sort of way, but it cut off by Glasses, who turns to face her, with an angry expression and pointing a finger accusingly at Greenie.

GREENIE: Because-

GLASSES: You say it because you want to tokenize yourself! You use being Jewish as a way to slander your people.

PANEL 3

A shot from Greenie’s POV, showing Glasses leaning forward, a furious expression on her face, pointing straight at the viewer like Uncle Sam in the “wants you” poster.

GLASSES: You “AsAJew” types are cosplay Jews! You’re modern day kapos giving comfort to the enemy! You’re the Jew who turns in other Jews to the Nazis because you hope you’ll be spared! And that’s why you said “as a Jew!”

PANEL 4

A large caption at the top of the panel says “A MINUTE EARLIER.”

Greenie is looking annoyed, arms akimbo, as she listens to Glasses, who is declaiming with one pointer finger held high in the air.

GLASSES: You wouldn’t say that if you were Jewish!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

In panel one, on a tree in the background, a squirrel with a tiny blue backpack is crouched on a branch. In panel two, the squirrel has launched itself into the air, and the backpack has unfurled a blue parachute. In panel four – which takes place before panel one – we see the squirrel back in the tree, poking its head out of a hole.

There’s a newspaper lying on the ground near Glasses’ feet. The name of the newspaper is “Background Daily.” In panel one, the front page says “This repeats three times in this comic. No need to read the other ones!” In panel two, it says “seriously you can stop reading this.” And in panel four, it says “This headline takes place before panel one.”


Why We Say “As A Jew” | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, International issues, Palestine & Israel | 7 Comments

Cartoon: Objective Journalism is Coming! Objective Journalism is Coming!


This cartoon was drawn by frequent collaborator Nadine Scholtes, who unlike most cartoonists (and by “most cartoonists” I mean “me”) is not afraid of drawing horses.


This week, I read a newspaper report about sex workers at massage parlors. The article was sympathetic to the sex workers, but aside from a couple of sentences didn’t quote them at all. Which is understandable, since they weren’t accessible or willing to talk extensively to a reporter. But the article also didn’t quote any ex-massage workers, or any advocates for sex workers.

In contrast, cops were quoted extensively.

Also this week, I read an article by anti-social-justice writer Freddie deBoer:

Those who are most intimately and personally connected to a given issue are often the very least well-equipped to engage effectively on that issue because they have too much baggage regarding that issue, are too close to the issue to think clearly about it.

DeBoer’s philosophy strongly implies that trans people are the “least well-equipped” to engage on trans issues, Black people the “least well equipped” on Black issues, and so on. But I doubt there will ever be a subject which Freddy deBoer, who is a straight cis white male, thinks straight white males are the “least well equipped” to think about.

I wrote this cartoon before I read either of those articles. Reporting like that, and attitudes like deBoer’s, are too common in modern journalism. Corporate spokespeople are quoted, but workers and union reps aren’t. Cops cracking down on homeless people are quoted, but homeless people are not. Israeli representatives are quoted, but Palestinians are not. Diet industry people are quoted, but fat people – and especially fat acceptance activists – are not. The list goes on and on.

I thought about how modern “objective” journalism would handle Paul Revere, and the strip pretty much wrote itself. (Well, it wrote itself, but after it was finished I had to spend a bunch of time editing it to fit in four tiny panels. Stupid lazy ideas not editing themselves.)

Once I thought of the horse grinning for the selfie, I knew I had to ask Nadine to draw this one, and fortunately she was available. Nadine added lots of great details that my script hadn’t asked for, like the guy in the window in panel one, or the church in the distance in panel one, or Garfield and Odie in panel two. Working with collaborators who add things is so much fun.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. All four panels show a Massachusetts street in 1775.

PANEL 1

This panel shows Paul Revere riding a galloping horse down a street, yelling “The British Are Coming!” (Revere yells this, not the horse).  He’s riding hard, and mice are scattering to avoid being run over.

REVERE: The British are coming!

PANEL 2

Revere, sweating from his hard ride, has dismounted and come to a halt, and is talking to a JOURNALIST. The journalist is dressed in a period suit and leaning against the side of a building, but he also has a piece of paper saying “press” sticking out of his hat. He’s looking at his smart phone.

REVERE: A journalist? Perfect! The British army is coming by way of the Charles River!

JOURNALIST: I can’t report that. You’re a revolutionary. What you say isn’t objective.

PANEL 3

The journalist has put his arm around Revere’s shoulders and is grinning as he holds out his phone to take a selfie. Revere looks very annoyed, arms crossed, face facing the camera but eyes glaring at the journalist.

REVERE: But what I’m saying is TRUTH! The British are attacking!

JOURNALIST: You’re in the group they’re attacking. That makes you too biased to quote.

PANEL 4

Revere raises his hands in a frustrated gesture. The journalist, smiling, points at Revere.

REVERE: No one even knows about this but us and them! Will you not report this at all?

JOURNALIST: No, I’ll report whatever the British say. People in power are never biased.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is a ye olden days cartoonists’ expression for little details in a cartoon that don’t matter but might be amusing.

PANEL 1: A man in a nightshirt is leaning out of a background window waving to Revere.

There are mice scattering from the road to avoid being trampled. The mice are Izzy (from The Simpsons), the Brain (from Animaniacs, Minnie Mouse, and Jerry (from Tom and Jerry).

PANEL 2: The journalist is scrolling on a smart phone.

Garfield and Odie, from the Garfield comic strip, are in the background – Garfield is sitting on a fence reading a newspaper (Ye Olden Times Background Times”) and Odie is peeking out through a window.

The back page of the newspaper has a huge headline saying “Ben Franklin and Beyonce Sex Scandal,” and smaller text (so distorted by the angle that it’s basically impossible to read) says: “Even ignoring chronology problems, she is just way out of his league,” says puzzled historian.”

The front page of the newspaper has three stories. The first headline says “Hamilton Not Yet Famous,” and the story says: “Just you wait until Broadway exists,” says unknown nerd. The second headline says “New Tea Party In N Jersey,” and the story says “nobody notices or cares.” The third headline says “Political Cartoons Relevant & Popular,” and the story says: “And that’s something that will never change,” say confident cartoonists.

PANEL 3

The journalist is taking a selfie, and the horse, grinning, is positioning herself to be included in the selfie.

PANEL 4

The horse is holding the journalist’s hat in her mouth.

In the background, two sleek cats can be seen in a window; one of them is licking the window with apparent enjoyment.


Objective Journalism Is Coming! Objective Journalism is Coming! | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Media criticism | 3 Comments

Cartoon: The Birth Rate is Always a Crisis


“Teen mothers are increasing!” has been a common “everything is getting worse!” my whole life – until recent years, when “fertility is down!” has replaced it. Like this CBS News headline: “Experts sound the alarm on declining birth rates among younger generations: “It’s a crisis”.”

Once upon a long-ago message board, I had an argument with a Christian sociologist who was arguing that more and more Black teens were becoming mothers. I pointed out that his claim just isn’t true – the percentage of babies born to Black teen mothers had gone up, but the actual number of Black teens giving birth were going down. (The discrepancy was because the number of post-teenage Black women giving birth was going down a bit faster.)

Much to my surprise, he became very angry with me, growled that I was missing the whole point, and quit the argument. It’s one of these disconnects that can happen easily with text-only disagreements: I thought we were having a fairly dispassionate discussion about fertility statistics, but it turned out we were having a passionate disagreement about… I’m still not sure.

There is a real argument that we need an increase in young workers to keep our economy and demographics healthy. The solution for that shouldn’t be nagging at young women to have more babies, but to allow in more immigrants.)


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus a tiny kicker panel under the bottom of the cartoon. Each of the four panels show the same two people taking on a sidewalk. The first is a woman with short black hair, wearing an open yellow shirt over a light orange shirt, and knee-length purple shorts. The second is a young man with reddish brown hair parted in the middle, dressed more conservatively in a button-down men’s shirt tucked into blue pants. Let’s call these two SHORTS and PANTS.

PANEL 1

Shorts is walking down the sidewalk when she’s startled by Pants, who is waving his arms around and yelling.

PANTS: Teenagers having babies is a crisis! A catastrophe!

PANEL 2

The two of them talk calmly, Shorts making a “just explaining things” hand gesture, and Pants looking a little surprised and worrying his fingers.

SHORTS: Actually, the birthrate among teens has been plummeting for years.

PANTS: Really?

PANEL 3

A shot from over Pants’ shoulder, as he peers at the screen of Shorts’ smartphone, which she’s holding out to show him.

On screen, we are looking at a website with the “CDC” logo, and the headline “TEEN BIRTH RATE REACHES ANOTHER HISTORIC LOW.

PANTS: Hmmm

PANEL 4

Pants rears back, hands clasped to his head, a huge expression of panic on his face. Shorts, still holding up her smartphone, rolls her eyes.

PANTS: Gasp! The birthrate is down! This is a CRISIS! A CATASTROPHE!

TINY KICKER PANEL UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THE CARTOON.

Pants is talking to Barry (the cartoonist). Pants looks stern, with his arms crossed.

PANTS: Whatever the birthrate is, people need to know women are doing it wrong!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

In ye olden days, when cartoonists stuck in irrelevant details for fun, the term for that was “chicken fat.” Nowadays we call this “easter eggs.” Apparently the term for this must always relate to poultry.

PANEL 1: A shifty-looking bunny, smoking a cigarette, is peering out from behind a tree.

A newspaper littering the ground, with a masthead saying “Daily Background,” has the headline “Cartoonist Subsidy Bill Passes!” and a subheadline saying “‘About damn time’ –Nation.” The photo accompanying the story shows a happy cartoonist who looks kinda like me holding a huge bag with $ written on the bag.

A scrap of paper on the ground says “Good people read this.” So there, don’t go saying I’ve never said anything nice about you.

A rat is napping in the gutter. One of the rat’s paws rests on an open bottle with a label saying “X,” but using the logo of the company that used to be Twitter.

PANEL 2: On the side of the tree, a realistically drawn squirrel is staring face-to-face with Woodstock from “Peanuts.”

PANEL 3: On the CDC’s website, there are two smaller stories at the bottom of the smartphone screen. The first says “Poll: Americans want Scientists & Government to Pretend Covid is Over.” with the subheadline “‘We don’t want to know. Anyway, what harm could it do?’ says public.”

The second story says “Study: Most Studies In Tiny Print Don’t Actually Exist.” And the subheadline says “Headlines like this one are just cartoonists making stuff up to fill in backgrounds.”

In the lower left corner of the panel, a little man, with blue skin and a purple mohawk, sits on the panel border grinning at the reader. He has a sign which says “I’m not relevant.”

PANEL 4: A bird flying in the background is wearing an eyepatch.

PANELS 1, 2 and 4: In panel 1, the tattoo on Shorts’ forearm shows an unhappy young person with big hair. In panel 2, the same tattoo shows the person with shorter hair, some brow wrinkles, and a still sad expression. In panel 4, the tattoo person is now bald and old, but has a happy expression.


The Birth Rate is Always a Crisis | Patreon

 

Posted in Cartooning & comics | 14 Comments

Comic: Election Year, Squishy Progressive Style


This cartoon is less self-portrait than it is self-parody. ((Testing the footnotes plugin.)) It was conceived shortly after Joe Biden announced that he won’t be running for re-election, around when Kamala Harris announced Tim Walz, and like practically everyone else I was feeling very happy and optimistic. We might win! Look at all that joy! Look at this adorable video of Walz joking around with his daughter named – get this – “Hope”!

This year’s sudden soar from pessimism to hope was extreme, but I feel something like this almost every presidential elections season. For a while – if only briefly – I found a reason to like politicians like John Kerry, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Joe Biden – even thought I knew perfectly well that if they were elected, they would do some things I hate. (Especially but not exclusively in foreign policy.)

Because even though every Democratic administration has done things I disagree with – things I’d even call evil – the Republicans are objectively just as bad, or much worse, on every issue.

(By the way, contrary to panel ten, I don’t do volunteer get-out-the-vote phone calling, because I did cold calling for a living for a couple of years when I was young and I’m still not over it. Instead, I do get-out-the-vote postcarding, but for this cartoon I made it phone calling, because that’s an easier activity to convey in one small panel).

When I thought of this cartoon, my immediate thought was “oh maaaaan, twelve panels!” But I thought it was doable and wouldn’t be a confusing mess to look at, so long as I kept the panels simple and clear. I’m actually really happy with how the comic came out, especially the seasonal color scheme.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon is a twelve-panel grid, with each panel labeled in large letters at the top with a month – January, February, and so forth. For this transcript, rather than labeling the panels “panel 1” and so on, I’ll use the name of the month.

In addition, there’s a tiny kicker panel under the bottom of the cartoon. Each panel shows the same character – a fat dude with round glasses, a circle beard (the name for “a chin strap and a mustache that meet to form a circle”), and dark hair held in a short pony tail. Put another way, it’s my self-caricature, so I’ll call this dude “Barry.”

JANUARY

Barry, wearing a long black coat and a scarf, is standing on a sidewalk yelling to the sky, his hands clutched in fists.

BARRY: The Democrats are sell-outs!

FEBRUARY

Barry stands outside, wearing a heavy coat with a hood and (again) a scarf. It’s snowing hard. Barry’s arms are crossed and he has a “don’t try talking to me, I already know everything” expression.

BARRY: They’re owned by corporations, just like the GOP!

MARCH

Barry is wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a floral patter over a black t-shirt. He looks angry and is waving a fist in the air.

BARRY: F#&@! the Democrats!

APRIL

Barry is talking into the phone, smirking a little.

BARRY: Democrats want my money? I’d rather donate to cancer.

MAY

Barry is explaining something to a somewhat impatient looking friend (or maybe just an unfortunate person who wound up at the same bus stop, who knows?).

BARRY: We so desperately need a third party!

JUNE

Barry is standing in a living-room type room; there’s a window in the background, and an armchair. Barry’s talking on the phone, a concerned expression on his face.

BARRY: Yes, Republicans winning would be a disaster.

JULY

Barry sits at a table, head resting on his palm, looking at an open laptop.

BARRY (thought): Actually, the Dem candidates are pretty good. On some issues.

AUGUST

Barry is standing outside, in front of a stone wall lined with flower boxes on top, talking to a friend (or, again, maybe just an unlucky passerby). Barry has both arms raised in the air jubilantly.

BARRY: I still hate them but I really like them!

SEPTEMBER

Barry stands looking pensively out a window.

BARRY: Hate? Like? Hate? Like?

OCTOBER

Hi, I’m a volunteer for the Democrats. Have you made a plan for voting?

NOVEMBER

Barry, looking extremely anxious, is standing and looking at a computer monitor, hands pressed against the sides of his face, sweating.

BARRY (thought): Please please let the Dems win…

DECEMBER

Barry is walking on a sidewalk past a hillside. It’s dark out, and Barry is wearing a long coat and a scarf again. He’s talking on his cell phone with an angry expression.

BARRY: God, I hate the Democrats!

TINY KICKER PANEL BELOW THE BOTTOM OF THE CARTOON

A woman is talking to Barry.

WOMAN: So you’re saying hypocrisy is bad?

BARRY: Sorta bad, sorta useful.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an old cartoonist’s expression for unimportant but possibly amusing details the cartoonist sticks into the art.

JANUARY: A flyer taped to the wall shows a glaring bunny with a cigarette dangling out of its mouth. The text says “BEWARE evil bunny.”

FEBRUARY: A snowman in the background appears to be a snow alien, with three eyes and two antenna.

MARCH: Barry’s t-shirt has a picture of the evil bunny, surrounded by letters that say “evil bunny 1968 world tour.” Barry has a tattoo on his arm which says “I Have No Tattoos.”

JUNE: A man wearing a black fedora is peering in the window at Barry. On the wall is a framed picture of the evil bunny. A cat sits in the armchair, slouching like a human and looking at a smartphone it’s holding in its front paws.

AUGUST: Barry’s t-shirt has a drawing of the Death Star from “Star Wars,” and under the Death Star is a caption saying “Cici n’est pas une lune.” This is a real t-shirt that was described to me by Packy Anderson in the comments of a previous cartoon.

SEPTEMBER: Barry’s t-shirt has the planet logo from the covers of the “Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy” book series.

OCTOBER: Barry’s t-shirt says “your ad here.” The place on the back of the laptop where the manufacturer’s logo usually goes has a picture of Saturn.

NOVEMBER: Barry’s arm has a tattoo of Beaker from the Muppets. I’ve snuck Beaker into a lot of my cartoons because I just like him.

DECEMBER: A bird in the air in the background has Richard Nixon’s head instead of a bird head. A piece of paper lying on the sidewalk says “Last Panel. Phew! 12 panels is a lot.” And in the background, near a tree, is the evil bunny, smoking a cigarette.


Election Year, Squishy Progressive Style | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Elections and politics | 6 Comments

Cartoon: A Concise History of Keeping The Immigrants Out


[This post is written by Becky Hawkins.]

This cartoon was born over gChat over a span of about 12 hours:

Becky: It’s wild how every “neat old photo” from an aggregate account on social media will have some egregiously racist comments…

There was a “1903 and now” photo of a street in lower Manhattan and someone was complaining that it’s “dirty” now that it’s Chinatown and not Little Italy (I guess they ignored the crowding and HORSES in the first photo?) Is it worth doing a cartoon about complaining about immigrants through the ages?

or does that fall under “ugh, not worth the argument”

Barry: No, that could definitely be a viable cartoon.

Would have to be careful not to come too close to repeating this one: https://leftycartoons.com/2008/10/09/history-marches-on-nativism-marches-in-place/

Becky: Maybe we could do the inverse where people are reminiscing about the good qualities of the previous generation of immigrants (eg pilgrims, Nordic, Italian…) and then futuristic people extolling how 21st century immigrants from Latin America contributed to the culture, unlike these Martians.

Barry: That’s a good idea!

Becky: Welp, you know I’d enjoy drawing it and have no interest in writing it

Barry: Okay, glad I have a place in the process. :-p

Becky: You mad bro?

* u mad bro?

I do love drawing cartoons where I have to set very specific, very clear scenes! I looked up a ton of photos and drawings of gentleman’s clubs so that I wasn’t copying one famous building. The antlers, bust, wainscoting, urn, and chairs were all from different places. During my search, I stumbled onto a cringeworthy website about how Rhodesia was good, actually. I usually don’t model political cartoon characters after specific people, but I snagged this picture from that website and the blond man in panel 1 is based on the third guy from the left.

If you zoom waaay in, the painting on the urn has a fountain, a lady in pink, and the sheep that I used to draw on my math tests for luck when I was in middle school, which I called the A-sheep.

Barry is a generous comic writer in that instead of scripting “a boardwalk in the 30s,” he wrote “the boardwalk in Miami. There are palm trees and ocean; in the distance, on the ocean, is a ship that might be the MS St Louis. (See reference folder)” The folder contained several old photos of boardwalks and the specific ship, which was a time-saver.

I spent way too long trying to get the right amount of ocean, boardwalk, and buildings in the panel, while still focusing on the women and ship. I settled for having a tiny peek of art deco in the background to make it Miami.

The outfit with the sash and turban came from this photo:

The forest in panel 3 is based on some photos I took near the Oregon coast. Off the walking trail, there are a lot of waist-high ferns with larger trees in between. Hopefully this looks detailed without looking cluttered.

In panel 4, it was Barry’s idea to have one Martian holding a map and the other Martian holding a baby. I drew different-colored stripes on the map to indicate bus or train routes. The futuristic human fashion in the last panel is based on my own misreading of the script. I got 2146 and 2046 mixed up, and figured that 22 years from now would be time for more 1990s throwbacks. Hence the fanny pack, bucket hat, and most of the outfit on the right. Hopefully the hover-shoes are futurey enough. I want to believe in a future with Doc Martens, whether they hover or not .


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, each showing a different scene in a different era.

PANEL 1

CAPTION AT TOP OF PANEL: 1871

Two wealthy-looking white Victorian men, middle aged and elderly aged, are sitting in armchairs in front of a fireplace in what looks like an expensive men’s club. One holds a glass of liquor, the other a cigar, as they talk to each other. In the background is a server with red hair, holding a tray with a bottle and glasses on it, and looking annoyed.

RICH GUY 1: We can’t let just anybody immigrate! The Irish are lazy and stupid!

RICH GUY 2: Better Irish than Chinese. I say keep ’em all out!

PANEL 2

CAPTION AT TOP OF PANEL: 1939

Two white women walk along the boardwalk. One woman is wearing a floppy hat, pearls, and a light purple dress, and is carrying a green umbrella to shield herself from the sun. The other woman is wearing a green sash and turban over a tan pantsuit. The second woman is pointing out to the ocean, where we can see a large ship which might be the MS St Louis.

SASH WOMAN: Even if Nazis are killing Jews – and we all know Jews lie – why is that our problem? We can’t afford thousands of Jews leeching off the rest of us!

PANEL 3

CAPTION AT TOP OF PANEL: TODAY

Two white women are walking through a park. One is wearing a broad hat, shorts, and carrying a backpack; the other is wearing a pink visor, and carrying a water bottle. In the background, a brown-skinned man carrying gardening shears watches them, not looking visibly annoyed but definitely aware of what they’re saying.

BACKPACK WOMAN: Central American “refugees” don’t want to work – they come here to live off welfare and crime!

PANEL 4

CAPTION AT TOP OF PANEL: 2146

Two people with ambiguous gender are standing. They’re wearing some sort of hover shoes, so they’re actually floating about a foot above the ground, with a yellow haze shooting out the bottom of their shoes. One is wearing a blue onesie with a wide futuristic looking yellow collar, along with a yellow hat and a fanny pack in front; the other is wearing a shawl over a crop top with lace trim, and a long green cargo skirt. The woman with the shawl is rudely pointing at a few obvious aliens (with tentacles instead of legs, gray skin, and huge black eyes) who are just a couple of feet away. One alien holds a map, which both of them are looking at, while the other is holding an alien baby.

LACE TOP WOMAN: Immigrants in the old days became good Americans. But these so-called “refugees” are lazy criminals! I say keep ’em out!


A Concise History of Keeping The Immigrants Out | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Immigration, Migrant Rights, etc | 22 Comments

Cartoon: The Objective New York Times


On August 8th, after about three weeks of the mainstream press, led by the New York Times, complaining repeatedly that Kamala Harris hasn’t been taking questions from reporters, Harris stopped on her walk to Air Force Two to take some questions from reporters.

The questions asked did not make the press seems essential. Did she have any reactions to Trump’s latest press conference? Why did she think Trump pulled out of a debate? The final question, from a Politico reporter:

Madam Vice President, there’s been a lot of questions about when you’re going to sit down for your first interview since being the nominee. Do you have any update on that?

“Thank you for finally taking our questions. When will you next be taking questions?” isn’t a question that makes me feel the press is in touch with what matters about this race.

But this cartoon is only incidentally about that. It’s mainly about the conventions of “objectivity” by which the mainstream media, very much including the New York Times, tends to find a story – any story – that could be said to be bad for Democrats, and flogs it over and over and over again. This has been going on for decades. Remember Al Gore’s sigh? Well, if we had a decent press corps, we wouldn’t remember it, because it was a completely trivial incident that didn’t matter at all. Remember Obama’s minister?

And of course, we all remember Hilary’s emails. Vox published this graphic illustrating how obsessively the New York Times reported on this one issue, with front-page above-the-fold stories, in a single week, shortly before election day:

In a Columbia Journalism Review study of the same election, they found that mainstream media covered Clinton’s “scandals” – the email server, the John Podesta hacks – far more than they covered her policies, while Donald Trump got the reverse treatment:

…roughly four times as many Clinton-related sentences that described scandals as opposed to policies, whereas Trump-related sentences were one-and-a-half times as likely to be about policy as scandal. Given the sheer number of scandals in which Trump was implicated—sexual assault; the Trump Foundation; Trump University; redlining in his real-estate developments; insulting a Gold Star family; numerous instances of racist, misogynist, and otherwise offensive speech—it is striking that the media devoted more attention to his policies than to his personal failings. Even more striking, the various Clinton-related email scandals—her use of a private email server while secretary of state, as well as the DNC and John Podesta hacks—accounted for more sentences than all of Trump’s scandals combined (65,000 vs. 40,000) and more than twice as many as were devoted to all of her policy positions. […]

In just six days, The New York Times ran as many cover stories about Hillary Clinton’s emails as they did about all policy issues combined in the 69 days leading up to the election.

Eight years later, the coverage hasn’t improved. The AP reports:

At least three news outlets were leaked confidential material from inside the Donald Trump campaign, including its report vetting JD Vance as a vice presidential candidate. So far, each has refused to reveal any details about what they received. […]

Their decisions stand in marked contrast to the 2016 presidential campaign, when a Russian hack exposed emails to and from Hillary Clinton’s campaign manager, John Podesta. The website Wikileaks published a trove of these embarrassing missives, and mainstream news organizations covered them avidly.

“Objectively” is less about being objective than it is about looking objective. Objectively, Donald Trump is more scandalous than any President of our lifetime by far. He’s been convicted of more felonies, tells more lies, commits more nepotism, foments more coup attempts. But covering Trump objectively would not look objective, because they’d be reporting more scandals about Trump than about Harris.

So the mainstream media, in order to look objective, abandons objectivity.

This leads to ridiculous stretches like this fact check from Washington Post reporter Amy Gardner:

Donald Trump says he will refuse to accept the election result if he loses again,” Biden said. But that’s not true. Trump just hasn’t said that he would accept. And he previously said the only way he loses is if the Democrats cheat.

In other words, Trump has said that he won’t accept the legitimacy of an election he loses – which is exactly what Biden claimed.

Aside from how inane that “fact check” was, why isn’t this an enormous story?

Trump has indicated that he won’t accept the election results if he loses. Why is that not a story requiring multiple front-page above-the-fold stories?


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

A woman with glasses and short dark hair is leaning down to look at a rack of copies of The New York Times paper edition. Standing on top of the pile of newspapers is an andromorphized cartoon issue of The New York Times, with a big grin, cartoon dot eyes, and black arms leading to three-fingered hands in white gloves, a la Mickey Mouse.

WOMAN: Hi, New York Times! What’s in the news today?

NEW YORK TIMES: Elections! The Republican candidate says if elected he’ll end democracy and rainbows!

PANEL 2

The woman has picked up the New York Times and is looking at it as the New York Times cheerfully continues talking, raising a forefinger to make a point, it’s adorable little feet kicking in the air.

NEW YORK TIMES: He also said that if not elected, that would prove Democrats cheated and he won’t accept the result.

PANEL 3

A shot of just the New York Times, still talking cheerfully, its arms folded.

NEW YORK TIMES: In equally important news, the Democratic candidate still hasn’t accepted my request for an in-depth interview. GOP sources suggest this could be because she’s a scaredy-cat.

PANEL 4

Now placed in a public garbage can, the New York Times is still cheerfully prattling on. The woman appears to have left entirely.

NEW YORK TIMES: Don’t miss today’s four op-eds about this important story!

NEW YORK TIMES (thought balloon): Oh my gosh, I’m killing it today! Just listen to how objective I’m being!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is a long-dead cartoonists’ term for unimportant but hopefully amusing details stuck into a cartoon.

Panel 1: The woman has a tattoo on her upper arm with a drawing of the famous pipe from René Magritte’s painting “The Treachery of Images,” but instead of saying “this is not a pipe” the caption says “this is not a tattoo.”

On the newsstand in the background, there are some magazines on display. Three magazines have the titles “This,” “That,” and “the Other,” and two more are entitled “Here” and “and There.” All the magazines feature a head-and-shoulders photo of a model, but on the cover to “the Other” the model is Snoopy in his “Joe Cool” get-up.

Panel 2: The woman’s arm tattoos have changed, almost as if this was easier for the artist than keeping the designs consistent would have been. :-p

Panel 3: At the bottom of the New York Times, a headline says “Weather,” and the smaller text below that says “yes there will be weather.”

Panel 4: There are two fliers taped to the wall in the background. One has a picture of a scowling penguin, with “PENGUINS” in big letters and in smaller lettering below that “secretly hate you.” The other flyer has a confused looking man looking out, and a big caption saying “BIG.” A smaller caption says “SMALL,” and a tiny caption below that says “tiny.”

Hanging out of the trash can is a flier that says “LOST” in big letters. The smaller print says “was a really good TV show that didn’t have an ending.”


The Objective New York Times | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Elections and politics, Media criticism | 5 Comments

Cartoon: Announcing My New A.I. Comics Initiative!


After I finished this cartoon, someone on Reddit asked me if one of my previous cartoons was drawn by A.I.. So just in case, I’ll clarify: This comic is not really drawn by A.I..


The news that inspired this comic:

Colin Kaepernick wants to help people make comics – by eliminating the people who actually make comics, using AI | Popverse

Kaepernick, who was the subject of the Netflix film Colin in Black & White, is launching Lumi, a company that, according to his Twitter/X account, seeks to enable creators “to create, publish, and monetize your stories all in one platform.” As reported by The Beat, Lumi PR promised to “focus energy on comic book and graphic-novel creators first.” However, this news was undercut by a fact that drew ire from many corners of the comic book industry: Lumi would be using AI to create the stories and comics it promised its users.

Kaepernick has experience in comics – he gave the plot and input on a graphic novel memoir of his life, written by Eve L. Ewing and drawn by Orlando Caicedo. It seems based on that experience, he is looking to cut out writers like Ewing and artists like Calcedo from the process and utilize AI that mines the work of writers like Ewing and artists like Calcedo without their permission to create comics.

Kaepernick has already raised four million dollars for this venture.

Like a lot of comics folks, I thought well of Kaepernick – he famously protested for racial justice by sitting during the national anthem, and in response he was blacklisted out of pro football. So having his name come up in this context is both odd and disappointing.

Illustrator Alice Meichi Li commented on Facebook:

This is so disappointing. For $4 million, Kaepernick could have started his own comics studio and paid 40 artists $100k to work for a year — way more than many artists ever make. He could have employed struggling marginalized creators and empowered them to tell the stories they never had the time or funds to tell.

Instead he’s putting $4 million into the hands of tech bros to steal art from from hardworking creators and put them out of work. Seriously upsetting.

Kaepernick has talked about “democratizing” comics creation – with the implication that barriers like “you have to write” and “you have to draw” are undemocratic. What his venture is implicitly promising people is the ability to create comics without putting any of the work in.

But the comics created will be crap.

Could A.I. generated comics be any good? Sure. If someone spends hundreds of hours editing the plot and script, generating and modifying the art over and over and over and over to be not just shiny looking images but good storytelling, and in this way is able to bend what A.I. generates into an actual story with relevant, consistent artwork and some personal expression, that could be good.

But at that point, why not just write and draw a comic?



CARTOON

This comic has four panels, each showing the same two characters. There’s a woman with long brown hair, a circle shaped earring, a black shirt and a red skirt. And there’s a fat guy with round glasses and dark hair tied in a ponytail, and he’s a caricature of me, Barry, the cartoonist. The two of them are talking in an outdoor park like environment.

PANEL 1

Barry is seated behind a desk that’s on a grassy hillside. He’s speaking directly to the reader with a big grin on his face and his arms spread wide. Nearby, the woman looks skeptical, as she pokes at a panel border.

BARRY: Announcing my new A.I. comics initiative! This comic is entirely drawn by A.I.!

WOMAN: Are you sure? It doesn’t look like A.I.

PANEL 2

Barry, grinning too big and looking like a nervous salesman, sweat flying off, holds out his hands. His hands look very gross, with many extra fingers.

BARRY: Uh… This is A.I.! Honest! Just look at my hideous hands!

BARRY: Are you listening, Colin Kaepernick? It’s yours for only three million dollars! Whatta bargain!

PANEL 3

The woman talks to Barry, holding up a palm in an “explaining my point” gesture. Barry, in response, holds up a hand in a “talk to the hand” gesture and turns away from her, his other hand on his forehead.

WOMAN: Couldn’t human cartoonists do the same work much better?

BARRY: Boring! Old! Not “disruptive!”

PANEL 4

The woman turns away from Barry, glaring down at a thick magazine about A.I. Art. Barry grins and holds his fisted hands to his chin in a “bursting with hope” sort of gesture. From the side, where Barry isn’t looking, a crude robot caricature of Barry has rolled onto panel. It’s holding up a four-panel comic strip.

WOMAN: It sounds like you’re selling out.

BARRY: Heck yeah! I just hope I can cash in before A.I. replaces me.

ROBOT BARRY: Hi there.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken Fat” is an old-fashioned cartoonists’ expression for little unimportant but hopefully fun details we put into cartoons. There’s a lot of chicken fat this time!

PANEL 1

In the foreground, there are a bunch of mushrooms growing from the ground, one of which has the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland on it, smoking from a large glass bong.

A gray-skinned Richard Nixon is popping up from a hole in the ground.

The woman’s earring is a yellow smiley face with red splattered over one eye, the icon of the “Watchmen” comic book.

PANEL 2

Among Barry’s many, many fingers is one that has a smiling face on the end. And one that’s a banana. And one that looks like the monster from “Alien,” with a smaller mouth extending out of the larger mouth.

Although all other panels show a cloudy day, in this panel the sky is clear blue and we can see the sun. The sun has a face and is scowling at Barry.

Barry’s t-shirt, which was black in the previous panel, has turned read. Words on the front of the shirt say “ME. © me 2024.”

PANEL 3

The woman’s skirt, which had a plaid pattern in panel 1, now has a polka dot pattern.

Barry’s t-shirt has changed again and now has an illustration of Bugs Bunny on it.

The woman’s round earring now has Charlie Brown’s face on it.

Barry has a third arm, which is holding an ice cream cone (one scoop of ice cream has fallen onto the sidewalk).

The woman’s hair is merging with a tree in the background.

A newspaper lying on the sidewalk, named “Background Tribune,” has a big headline which says “Litterbug Strikes Panel Three!”

PANEL 4

The woman’s skirt pattern has changed again, and is now a squared-off spiral pattern.

Her earring has changed again, and is now the face of Jack from the movie “The Nightmare Before Christmas.”

Barry’s t-shirt has changed again, and is now a drawing of a hammer in a yellow circle, which was the superhero character “Captain Hammer’s” logo in the web musical “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog.”

The woman is holding a very thick magazine called “A.I. Art Daily.” The cover has a picture of a happy stick figure with three eyes and way too many fingers. There are two headlines: “Glossy surfaces are all art needs” and “Rainforests will not be missed.”

The comic strip the robot is holding is actually this comic strip.


Announcing My New A.I. Initiative! | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Economics and the like | 30 Comments

Cartoon: Door to Door Policy Salesman


This cartoon is by me and Becky Hawkins.

Becky says, “an unexpected challenge of drawing the big head style is that a man’s hat is the same size as his whole torso. I REALLY wanted one of the salesman to be raising his hat in greeting, but it looked like he was holding a medieval shield or something.”


After Becky finished coloring the cartoon in a program called Clip Studio Paint, I was looking at the file and I noticed a turned-off layer, on top of all the other layers. I turned it on and was surprised to see this:

Apparently, Becky’s partner Naomi was using Becky’s computer at some point and decided to leave a little sketch in the file. :-) Aw, look at the little heart!


The cartoon is, I hope, funny, and makes an obvious point that’s still true and needs to be pointed out a lot: The people who say that we can’t afford social welfare programs never think affordability is a problem when it comes to police, building new prisons, or going to war.

It’s particularly aggravating when people say this about programs that will pay for themselves in the long run (as panel three mentions). “We can’t afford it” isn’t generally a real argument: It’s an excuse to avoid making an argument.


This cartoon has four panels. All four panels show the same scene and the same two characters. We are outside a middle-class looking house, looking at the front door. The door is open, and a 1950s-housewife-looking woman, with a bouffant hairdo and a green dress, is standing in the doorway. She’s talking to a man in a gray suit, with a matching fedora, carrying a brown suitcase.

We’ll call these two characters “Housewife” and “Salesman.”

In addition to the four panels, there’s a tiny “kicker” panel under the bottom of the strip.

PANEL 1

The salesman stands talking to the housewife, one hand outspread in a friendly fashion. The housewife looks nervous and has a hand resting on her chest in an “oh my” gesture.

SALESMAN Good morning, ma’am. I’m a door to door domestic policy salesman, and–

HOUSEWIFE: I’m sorry, we just can’t afford anything.

PANEL 2

The salesman, smiling in a friendly way, is holding his case out and open to display his wares. The housewife turns her head away, holding up one palm in a “no no no” gesture.

SALESMAN: But I’ve got universal health care. Very popular – lots of nations have it.

HOUSEWIFE: No no. We could never afford anything like that.

PANEL 3

Warming to his own sales pitch, the salesman is jubilantly holding a bunch of pamphlets, raising some of them towards the sky. The housewife looks very flustered.

SALESMAN: I’ve got policies for your kids that’ll save you money in the long run. Universal pre-K, lead removal…

HOUSEWIFE: Oh, gosh no. We couldn’t afford anything like that.

PANEL 4

The salesman, looking disappointed, has turned away and is looking at his pamphlets to see what else he can offer. Behind him, the housewife is smiling big with an excited expression, and holding two huge bags of money (we know it’s money because the bags are labeled ” $ “) to offer the salesman.

SALESMAN: Hmm… I’ve also got a big increase in policing and prisons. But it’s expen-”

HOUSEWIFE (very large font): WE’LL TAKER IT!

TINY “KICKER” PANEL UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THE STRIP

A similar but different salesman (gray hair, brown fedora) is speaking to the same housewife, as he raises his hat in greeting. The housewife is eager, and her eye is drawn as a heart.

SALESMAN: Good morning, ma’am. I’m a door to door war salesman.

HOUSEWIFE: Just give me a sec to mortgage my house.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an obscure and outdated cartoonist expression for meaningless but hopefully entertaining details in a cartoon. This cartoon has two pieces of chicken fat:

Panel 1: A balding man is peering over a fence in the background.

Panel 3: On the lawn in the background, a rat, wearing pink cats-eye sunglasses, is sunbathing lying on a rat-sized outdoor chaise lounge.


Door to Door Policy Salesman | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Economics and the like, Health Care and Related Issues | 8 Comments

Cartoon: Transphobes Are The Real Victims


Once again, there’s a timelapse drawing video! Go watch me change my mind again… and again… and again!


Sometimes, the drawing of a comic is just stuck in a low gear.

This one, for example, took FOREVER to draw. I’m not even sure why.

I mean, sure there were seven panels instead of four… and sure, I somehow decided to draw a background of some sort in every panel… and sure, I kept being super indecisive about what to draw. And I began feeling frustrated, which made it harder to motivate myself to spend enough hours drawing. So I guess all of that could add up to some slow drawing.

Sometimes, that’s just how it goes.

Despite it all, the drawing was still fun to do. I had a great time especially drawing the head of the first character in the last panel; I really like how (to my eyes, at least) his ridiculous mouth shape nonetheless looks like a three dimensional opening in the body – an orifice, in other words – rather than a flat shape on the surface of the face. It’s something that original MAD artists like Jack Davis did so well, and I’m always trying to get a similar feel in my work.

Originally this was a four-panel strip with the same idea but a very different script, and the first three panels were all on the wordy side. I eventually decided to try and cut the word count for all but the last panel as much as I could.

But if the words aren’t telling the story, then the pictures had to. In an attempt to make the visual storytelling clearer, the script evolved into a bunch of fairly identical scenes set in front of doorways. (Panels 1-4 and 6). So then the artistic challenge became, how could I do five tiny panels, all depicting someone being turned away at a door, without replicating the exact same layout five times over?


Here’s the drawing process for the final character in the cartoon:

This is what I meant when I said I was delayed by being indecisive; I essentially drew and rejected two entire figures before I figured out what I wanted here.


This cartoon was inspired by a conversation I’ve had multiple times over the years, talking to transphobes on the internet. As we argue, I often ask “what’s it to you, anyway? How have you been harmed by any of this?”

And as often or not, put on a spot, the example of harm they can come up with is… pronouns. They’re expected to use someone else’s preferred pronouns. That’s the harm.

It’s so ridiculous, in the face of the constant and in many ways increasing bigotry against trans people in our culture, to think that pronouns count at all as a harm. It actually renders me speechless (or textless, more literally). I sputter, I write answers that include a lot of swearing and delete them before posting (I do that a lot, actually). I want to meet them in the real world, grab both sides of their face, and scream “CAN YOU EVEN HEAR YOURSELF?”

But I can’t do that, so I drew this cartoon.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has seven panels, each panel showing a different scene.

PANEL ONE

A teenage girl stands in front of a house. The front door of the house is open, and a hand is sticking out, pointing in a “get out” gesture. A word balloon comes from inside the house (i.e., from the unseen person the hand belongs to).

POINTING PERSON: No son of mine is “trans”!

PANEL TWO

A dark-haired woman wearing a hoodie and a red skirt is pushing open a ladies’ room door, but another woman is standing blocking her way, her arms folded.

BLOCKING WOMAN: Nope!

PANEL THREE

Two men are standing in front of a church. One, with carefully combed blonde hair and a white suit, looks like he might be a preacher. The other has messy brown hair and a little beard, and is dressed in darker colors. The preacher-type is holding up a hand in a “stop!” gesture, preventing the annoyed-looking guy from proceeding to the church.

PREACHER: Hell no.

PANEL FOUR

In the foreground, we see a hand holding a smartphone. On the smartphone screen is a page entitled “Rooms for Rent.”

In the background, a woman with curly reddish hair is standing in front of a door marked “office,” blocking the way.

WOMAN: Nope!

PANEL FIVE

We’re inside a store of some kind; a man wearing an apron over a red shirt is standing behind the counter, talking to a woman on the other side of the counter. The counter man is an expression between angry and panicked; the woman, who stands with her arms folded, looks annoyed and surprised.

A big sign hanging from the counter says “HELP WANTED.”

COUNTER MAN: Get out!

PANEL SIX

There are no characters in this panel. We’re looking at a doorway. The doorway is blocked by long crisscrossed strips of that black-and-yellow “emergency” tape. A sign taped to the door says “Closed by Government Order.” A more permanent looking sign is attached to the wall above the door; this sign says “Center for Transgender Medicine.”

PANEL SEVEN

Three very distressed people are talking to each other in what might be someone’s living room. The first man, I’ll call him BEARDY, has his hands clapped to either side of his face and an expression of existential horror. He is crying, and some snot drips out of his nose. Nearby, a woman stares at him with a shocked expression, a hand held over her open mouth. And behind the woman, a bald man with a red shirt is angrily declaiming, his hands spread wide.

BEARDY: And then he asked me to- to- to use his pronouns!

REDSHIRT: See? WE’RE the real victims!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is old-timey cartoonists’ slang for unimportant but perhaps amusing details.

Panel two: A notice posted on the wall says “Notice: Posting of Notices Strictly Forbidden. I mean it! I’ll tell Mom!!”

Panel three: “Woodstock” from Peanuts is sitting on the sill of a second-story window.

Panel five: There’s a cat in a hat playing with a Switch on the shelves in the background. Also on those shelves: A decapitated head with an enormous mustache, two boxes shelved next to each other, the first says on the side “Don’t cry” and the second says “for me Argentina.” A glass jar of some sort of powdered substance has two eyeballs in it. The charge pad on the counter says “Rudolf the red knows rain, dear.”

Also in panel five, tattoos! The clerk’s tattoos include what looks like a Muppet Harry Potter. (The clerk’s a transphobe, so the JKR related tattoo seemed appropriate). The woman there about the job has a tattoo of Lucy from Peanuts.

Panel seven: On the wall in the background is a portrait of Daddy Warbucks from the comic strip “Annie.”


Transphobes Are The Real Victims | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans and Queer issues, Transsexual and Transgender related issues | 3 Comments

Cartoon: Conan vs Copyright


This cartoon was drawn by Nadine Scholtes.


Popular cartoonist John Allison is a big fan of the character Conan the Barbarian, and was doing a Conan comic for fun in his free time, which you could read for free on his website. I say “could” and not “can,” because Allison understandably took it down after receiving a cease and desist letter from Conan Properties International.

Allison lives and works in the UK, where Conan is in the public domain. But in the US, Conan is copyrighted until 2028. John Allison is a busy creator with a lot of projects he has time for and, I suspect, not much money to pay for being sued, even if the lawsuit has no merit. In contrast, Conan Properties International, because they create nothing and do nothing but live off the most popular creation of a writer who died in 1936, has nothing but time and money to use to harass creators like Allison.

This isn’t the only specious and annoying lawsuit that Conan’s owners have undertaken because they’re leaches who have nothing else to do with their time. The wonderful cartoonist Shaenon Garrity wrote:

The Conan rights holders are bonkers litigious. Viz had to change the title of the manga Detective Conan because they threatened to sue. The Conan in the manga is named after Arthur Conan Doyle, a real person who predates Conan the Barbarian.

This sort of copyright bullying is unfortunately very common, and happens with many characters and creations other than Conan. But the Conan story happened to be the one that inspired this cartoon.


Nadine, who lives in Luxembourg and is significantly younger than me, actually didn’t know who “Conan” was and assumed she was just free to make up a character design from scratch, which caused some confusion for me when I saw her first sketches. We worked it out. :-) The Conan she eventually drew is recognizably Conan – but also kind of adorable and lithe compared to how the character is usually drawn.

The script suggested that Conan could be riding a horse or maybe a bear, but also said Nadine could change it to whatever she wanted. Nadine chose to make it a drake, which is a kind of dragon.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each of the panels shows Conan the Barbarian, a shirtless, muscular barbarian dude with long hair, in a desert. He is carrying an axe and a shield.

PANEL 1

Conan, mounted on his drake (drakes are a kind of dragon; this one has four limbs and no wings), is under attack. Arrows fly through the air at him, and a couple of arrows are stuck in the shield that Conan has raised defensively. The drake has a panicked expression as it speaks.

DRAKE: Conan, we’re surrounded! What will we do?

CONAN: We will kill or we will die.

VOICE FROM OFF PANEL: STOP!

PANEL 2

Conan, carrying his axe, has gotten off his drake and is walking towards a new character, a man wearing glasses and a modern suit and tie. The main is reading off a piece of paper he’s holding. We’ll just call this character “LAWYER,” since that’s what he is.

LAWYER: On behalf of Conan Properties International, this is a cease and desist letter. You do not have permission to create this comic strip.

CONAN: Wrong, fool! I’m public domain in this country!

PANEL 3

With a smug expression, the Lawyer holds up the piece of paper for Conan to read. Conan leans down to read it, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

LAWYER: Even if that’s so, we’ll still sue, and proving your case would take years and bankrupt you. That’s why we always win.

CONAN: Hmm…. I’ve got an idea.

PANEL 4

Conan is holding the lawyer’s decapitated head in one hand. Blood drips out of the bottom of the lawyer’s neck, and we can see his headless body lying on the ground in the background. In Conan’s other hand is a bloody axe, which Conan is dropping in surprise.

The lawyer speaks, an annoyed expression on his face. Conan reacts with shock and fear.

LAWYER: This really isn’t helping your case.

CONAN: By Crom! How are you STILL talking?

LAWYER: I’m a lawyer.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken Fat” is an old-fashioned cartoonist expression for what we might now call “Easter Eggs”: unimportant but hopefully amusing details the cartoonist sticks in.

In panel 1, one of the arrows that has landed on the ground appears to have a love letter wrapped around it.

In panel 2, the Drake is suddenly wearing a watch, which it checks impatiently.

In panel 4, the Drake is fearfully making a cross with its forefingers. Also, a vulture has shown up and is eyeing the corpse; the vulture is wearing a napkin tied around its neck.


Conan vs Copyright | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Free speech, censorship, copyright law, etc. | 3 Comments