Cartoon: Things Were So Much Better Then

Posted on November 25, 2024 by Ampersand

This cartoon is drawn by Jenn Lee, who added so many great 1970s details!

Jenn and I sometimes work sharing a table at a coffee shop, and she’d sometimes laugh aloud as she thought of more 70s details to squeeze in, and I was so happy when I finally saw the finished art. She was nice enough to make a list, which I’ve posted after the transcript.

I could just as easily have had this cartoon’s flashbacks be to the sixties or even fifties, or to the eighties, but the seventies were when both Jenn and I were kids, so this seemed the most natural.

From “The Illusion of Moral Decline,” by Adam M. Mastroianni & Daniel T. Gilbert in Nature:

The social fabric appears to be unravelling: civility seems like an old-fashioned habit, honesty like an optional exercise and trust like the relic of another time. Some observers claim that “the process of our moral decline” began with the “sinking of the foundations of morality” and proceeded to “the final collapse of the whole edifice”, which brought us “finally to the dark dawning of our modern day, in which we can neither bear our immoralities nor face the remedies needed to cure them”. But as apt as this description of our times may seem, it was written more than 2,000 years ago by the historian Livy, who was bemoaning the declining morality of his fellow Roman citizens. From ancient to modern times, social observers have often lamented the ugly turns their societies have taken, and have often suggested that a recent decline in morality—in kindness, honesty and basic human decency—was among the causes.

…The perception of moral decline is a psychological illusion to which people all over the world and throughout history have been susceptible. …We show that people in at least 60 nations do indeed believe that morality is declining, and that they have believed this for at least 70 years.

And in Psychology Today, Loretta G. Breuning writes:

Thinking about the good old days triggers neurochemicals that make you feel good. You might reach the conclusion that life was better in the past. But if you had actually lived in the past, you would not have liked it. […]

Because your brain focuses on what you lack, and takes for granted what you have. If you feel you lack leisurely dinners with friends, and you imagine people having them in the past, then the past seems better regardless of the facts.

When you feel you lack something, your brain rings the alarm that says your survival is threatened. Obviously, lacking friendly dinners is not life-threatening, but if it’s the biggest lack on your mind, your brain processes it with equipment that evolved to confront survival challenges. Your present lacks feel urgent while the lacks of the past are just historical abstractions.

In less scientific terms, a lot of us remember the past as being simple and good because we were children then. If we were lucky enough to be well fed and loved children, then life for us was simple and good. But it probably didn’t feel that way to our parents at the time.

Yesterday, some friends and I watched Jacques Tati’s 1958 movie Mon Oncle. The movie – a comedy about how the new and fashionable is ridiculous – was wonderful and extremely funny. But over a half century after it came out, it’s striking to me that the movie’s dislike of things for being new still feels very current. People always feel that way.

I have two nieces, now young adults, who’ve been living in the same household as me since they were born. It’s been fascinating watching kids growing up in what is in so many ways an entirely different world than the one I was born into. The ubiquity of cigarette smoking in the 1970s – people used to smoke on planes! – is as unimaginable to today’s 20-year-olds as life without any internet at all.

And yes, there really was a riot over people’s hatred of disco records! 1979’s Disco Demolition Night is a pretty interesting story, if you don’t already know it. There’s a really fun episode of the podcast You’re Wrong About telling the story.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has seven panels. Each panel shows different characters and scenes. The first six panels are all set in the 1970s.

PANEL 1

Two women lie in bed chatting and petting a cat; one of them is holding a newspaper which has the simple headline “NIXON!”

WOMAN 1: Hmm… Should I spend today waiting in line at the gas station or the unemployment office?

WOMAN 2: Gosh, they both sound so enticing!

PANEL 2

In a bar, a blue-collar looking man is waving a disco LP around angrily while drinking. Another man, in a suit and tie, smiles agreeably.

BLUE COLLAR: “Disco” music is liked by Blacks and gays and even gay Blacks! Let’s burn records and riot!

SUIT: That seems reasonable.

PANEL 3

At the counter of a 7-11 style convenience store, one that has tons of cigarettes for sale, a clerk is selling a pack of cigarettes to a ten year old girl. A boom box radio is on the countertop.

RADIO: First they let women have bank accounts, now they want to make it a crime for us to rape our own wives! Whatever happened to family values?

PANEL 4

We are looking at a large (by 1970s standards) TV, much heavier and thicker than any TV today would be. On the screen, a news reporter is reading from a script while he holds a lit cigarette in his other hand. The air around him is filled with cigarette smoke.

TV REPORTER: Our forecast says smog will be high today. So if you must leave your home, avoid unnecessary breathing.

PANEL 5

A well-off-looking man stands on the front steps of an expensive looking club, talking to a couple of reporters.

MAN: Merely because our club doesn’t allow Jews or women or Blacks or Hispanics or Orientals or gays is no reason to call us prejudiced! I consider that a slur!

PANEL 6

A bohemian-styled woman and a punk-styled man are walking together on a city sidewalk. She looks like she’s pondering something, one hand holding her chin. He is struggling with a high stack of thick hardcover books he’s carrying and has a big grin.

WOMAN: I need to look up some basic facts…

MAN: That’s why I always carry an encyclopedia!

PANEL 7

An enormous caption says DECADES LATER.

A middle-aged man sits in a chair at the barber shop, reading something on his smartphone and looking a little sad, while a barber is using clippers on the back of the man’s neck.

MAN (thought balloon): Sigh… Things were so much better when I was a kid.

1970s DETAIL WATCH

Jenn slipped in so many 1970s details to this cartoon! And she sent me this list! Take it away, Jenn:

I just realized that I have, yet again, illustrated a Barry strip that end with a grown man yearning for the way things were in his youth. For most of the 1970s I was single digit in age and am mostly glad I survived it what with riding free in the back of pickup trucks, bouncing all the way, playing in junkyards, skateboarding without a helmet and all the rest. What follows are the details I remember from that time:

PANEL 1

Wicker Headboard

As with many 1970s decor, this probably started in the later 1960s but held on in popularity for at least another decade. They were most commonly natural as seen here, or painted white.

Green walls

So many green walls, anywhere from avocado to fern.

Spider plant

Most everybody had a hanging spider plant.

Macrame plant hanger

Those and macrame wall hangings. Such great dust catchers, not unlike the wicker headboard.

Faux oil lamp electric bed lamp

Colonial touches like these were hugely popular in the run up to the U.S.A.’s Bicentennial in 1976. Anything alluding to 1776, musicals, Mr. Magoo cartoons, movies, Halloween costumes, furniture and so many decoupaged plaques of colonial America scenes with torn edges.

You also saw the outside of houses adopting decorative window shutters, porch pillars redone in the Georgian style or an eagle plaque over the door.

Pet Rocks

Rocks with painted eyes were a thing that people actually paid money for.

A digital equivalent is Tamagotchi which had a recent revival. I confess I had one decades ago that I let “die” will watching “Trainspotting” with Barry and others at Cinema 21, which seems relevant all around.

Ziggy Mug

Ziggy was a popular sad sack character that had a certain charm. He was a comforting proletarian character you could imagine hugging.

Orange comforter

Orange was a prominent color in many soft goods.

Nixon!

He was talked about for years after Watergate. Rich Little’s impressions helped that along I’m sure.

Gas lines

Not only were there gas lines, but you were only allowed to get gas on certain days depending on if your license plate ended in an even or odd number. I remember trekking a half mile in the snow to check for my mother if it was an even or an odd day based on the cars being served. (She had just gotten off a double shift as a nurse in the CCU [Cardiac Care Unit] and needed to catch up on her sleep).

PANEL 2

Wood paneled lounges and bars

I remember these all the time as restrictions on minors in these places were loose and variable.

“Animated” waterfall beer pictures

Many beer brands had these alternating light advertisements in bars, sometimes with a clock jammed in there. Fresh water of distinct source was something many beers boasted about. They were often yellowed by tobacco smoke and made a grinding noise as the mechanism simulated running water.

Disco Album

Most compilation albums of disco music featured rainbow coloration.

Blue collar worker

Actually wore blue shirts or overalls by and large.

Billy Beer

President Carter’s brother Billy was shameless in leveraging his connection to Jimmy. Absolutely not appropriate but was a fart in a hurricane in comparison to today’s indiscretions.

Mustache

Mustaches were quite a thing in the 1970s. Not so much beards.

Wide lapels and ties

Haute couture in business wear then.

Brown suits

Very common. Along with a touch of light blue, a combination I am actually fond of.

Harvey Wallbanger

An iconic 1970s cocktail will vodka, orange juice and radioactive maraschino cherries.

Red leather Padded bar edge

Classy.

PANEL 3

Convenience Stores

A little bit of everything but mostly cigarettes, candy and magazines. Overcrowded and informal, often with a spinner rack of comics and brown paper wrapped porn mags, but also easy access to Heavy Metal magazine.

Tic-Tacs

These zig-zag displays were always delightful to me. And dusty.

Portable radio

How music was streamed, along with car radios. I have a play list in Tidal called “Red Panasonic Clock Radio”  of 1970s songs I actually like. I had to explain the title to my daughter who was appalled I had no control over the music I ‘streamed’ as a kid and had no option but to endure commercials.

Tacky uniform shirt

Bright colors of a poison dart frog in polyester. Garnished with a name tag. Did not breathe and smelled funky in combination with body heat, no matter how many times it was previously washed.

Kid buying cigarettes

This was me, with a note from my mom saying I could buy cigarettes for her. Though, instead of Marlboros, she smoked Benson & Hedges Menthol 100’s Ultra Lights. Which did cost 47¢ back in the day. Though I actually usually bought a carton of 10. (Yes she was the Assistant Head Nurse of CCU. I was aware of the irony even then.)

You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby

I loved the Virginia Slim Ads that pictured back in the day versus the more liberated attitude to women smoking now. Mostly for the elaborate reconstruction of the “then” scenes.

Keep on Truckin’

Back when memes were carried through bumper stickers and t-shirts. My favorite one being a take on the Christian Bumper sticker of “My boss is a Jewish carpenter” altered to “My carpenter is a bossy Jew.”

PANEL 4

Television as furniture

Real wood casing of a bulky cathode tube TV unit where the max screen size was limited to 30 inches and color was still not the default. And no remote controls. Any channel over 13 was UHF where the public access channels lived, the equivalent to You Tube today. The fact my family had one of these beasts was due to a generous gift from my mother’s parents. Also we displayed our nativity scene on top of it every Christmas.  (The mantel for our stockings was draped over an accordion style steam heat radiator which made Santa extra magical).

Orange shag carpet

Nothing more 1970s than that. I remember ours as uncut loops.

Dried pampas grass in floor vases

A decor choice that extended into the 1980s and 1990s, only the color and treatment of the vases changed. This was another great dust collector of the time, along with aluminum vertical blinds. Lots of my memories of the 1970s involve dust.

Fuzzy toile wallpaper

Everywhere, meant to imitate velvet flocked Victorian wall paper. But was just more dust filled polyester (hat tip to Barry for this touch).

Anchor smoking on TV

Never actually happened as far as I know. But people did smoke EVERYWHERE. On line in the pharmacy, in restaurants, staff rooms, you name it. And I’m sure anchors would smoke on air if they could.

Leaded gasoline

Speaking of air borne toxins from car exhaust, there’s a theory that there were so many serial killers in the late 1960s to early 1980s due to the lead added to automobile gas to get rid of ‘knocking’ noises in car engines starting in the 1920s. With the invention of the catalytic converter in the mid 1970s, the ‘need’ for the lead was eliminated and eventually made illegal nationwide n the 1990s. (When Barry and I and others first moved to Oregon, there were still leaded gasoline pumps).

Cigarillo

A short thin cigar considered classy in the 1970s.

PANEL 5

Men’s Clubs

Were a big deal as that was the main place deals were struck in business, politics and other fields and so an important barrier to overcome for any non Anglo-Saxon male member of society.

The BO Club

I named it the BO club as a reference to Boys Only but also the Warner Bros. Cartoon Insult for body order, usually delivered after the target said something objectionable.

The adult onesie

A ridiculous piece of impractical ‘unisex’ wardrobe. The only men who made this outfit look remotely cool are the BeeGees on the cover of “Saturday Night Fever.”

Blond feathered hair

The unisex hairstyle was there for Farah Fawcett and Peter Frampton.

Tanned skin

A resurgence of the leisure class’s ability to cultivate an even and pleasing tan from the 1920s as a sign of health and natural good looks.

Female reporter

Long natural hair, bulky turtle neck in a natural color and hand written notes.

Male photographer

Bulky specialized camera, army surplus utility vest and strapped knit top. Also natural hair afro.

PANEL 6

The OG BoHo Lady

Honestly the Boho trend is a call back to the “peasant” look of the 1970s, an urban “gypsy’” with flowing hair, loosely tied hair scarf, oversized tinted sunglasses, peasant blouse, bangles and a large beaded necklace.

Metal Trash Can

Oscar the Grouch’s home, the ordinary made magical, a big theme in the the 1970s in all sorts of media.

Punk

The other proletariat movement, a more confrontational one with Mohawks, piercings, safety pins and studded black leather. Never mind the music and its anti-establishment message. But just regular folk for the most part.

Encyclopedia

From the Greek for “general education,” the pride of any home before the internet, the jumping off point for any serious research at a library. Huge double shelf volumes of varying spine widths with annual updates.

PANEL 7

Traces of retro:

Lava lamp

First a feature of the 1960s, it continued as an item prized in the 1970s and has been revived several times since.

Smiley Face sticker

First introduced in the early 1960’s, it remained popular as a prototype emoticon in the 1970s.

Flower power “Love Bug” Sticker

The first “Herbie the Love Bug” movie was released in 1969 about a sentient Volkswagen Bug with sequels throughout the 1970s. Along with “Benji” movies, following the trials and tribulations of the all American mutt.

Things Were So Much Better Then | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Interviews, Mandolin, My publications, Patreon, Writing Advice | 1 Comment

Cartoon: The Criminalizing Homelessness Cycle

Posted on November 23, 2024 by Ampersand

On Governing Magazine’s website, Thea Sebastian, Hanna Love and Tahir Duckett wrote:

Criminalizing homelessness is bad financially and bad for public safety. Homelessness and incarceration have long been linked, as many people shuttle between jails, prisons, emergency rooms and the streets. This cycle occurs at the front end and the back end. Homeless individuals are more likely to contact the criminal/legal system — especially as police enforce low-level “survival” crimes such as trespassing, sleeping in public or loitering — and formerly incarcerated people are nearly 10 times more likely to experience homelessness.

This cycle undercuts safety in multiple ways. The collateral consequences of even short-term jailing — such as loss of employment, separation from families, and fines and fees — increase the likelihood of future arrest while exposing arrested individuals to health risks and unsanitary conditions associated with jails.

I read that and knew I wanted to do a cartoon about how making sleeping in public a criminal act just adds to the cycle of homelessness.

As I was drawing this cartoon, I decided to finish this cartoon in black and white, and really dive into the cross-hatching as well as I could.

I love cross-hatched illustrations. I very distinctly remember the first time i saw the book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I flipped through it, and the pen and ink illustrations by Joseph Schindelman – which were almost entirely made of crosshatched shading, with very few contour lines – just blew me away. I had no idea anyone could draw like that!

I had such a blast drawing this! You’d think that cross hatching like this would be boring to make, but I actually enjoy it, living for a short while in a simple word of parallel lines and forms. I’d love to illustrate a book in this style someday.

My first draft script called for the bottom panel to have a landlord and an employer, each saying a line. Which, let’s face it, made a little more sense than combining them into one person.

The problem was, the direction the reader’s eye is moving in at the bottom, in a circular strip like this, is from right to left and a little bit from bottom to top – the complete opposite of the left-to-right, top-to-bottom way we read word balloons (in this country).

I just couldn’t find a way to arrange two word balloons so I’d be confident that readers would read them in the intended order. So I decided to combine the two mean capitalist characters into a single character, so they could say their bit in a single word balloon.

(As I’m typing this, another solution just occurred to me – I could have written the two word balloons so it didn’t matter what order they were read in. I hope I remember that the next time this problem comes up).

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, arranged so that they can be read in a clockwise circle. Each panel shows the same character – a homeless man wearing jeans, a hoodie, and a knit cap. I’ll call him “Knit.”

TOP PANEL

Knit is lying on a park bench, looking like he just woke up, and with a confused expression on his face. A cop holding a billy club stands over him.

COP: Get up! Public sleeping is now a crime. You’re going to jail.

An arrow leads from that panel to:

RIGHT HAND PANEL

Knit, looking confused and unhappy, is being kicked out of a building that has a sign over the door: “JAIL.” Knit looks confused and unhappy. We don’t see anything of the person kicking Knit out except for the shoe and leg that are doing the kicking.

KICKING GUY: You’ve served your time. Get out!

An arrow leads from that panel to:

BOTTOM PANEL

Knit, with a disappointed expression, is listening to a businessman-looking type wearing a necktie talk. The businessman has a stern expression.

BUSINESSMAN: You’ve been in jail! I’d never hire you, or rent to you.

An arrow leads from that panel to:

LEFT HAND PANEL

It’s dark out; the only light is coming from a door which has been open a crack. Knit stands in front of the door. A sign above the door says “SHELTER.” A woman inside is speaking to Knit through the crack.

WOMAN: Sorry, out of beds. Good luck.

An arrow leads from that panel back to the TOP PANEL.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an obsolete cartoonists’ term for little details the cartoonist puts in which don’t matter at all, but they amused the cartoonist.

TOP PANEL: A newspaper lying on the ground, “Background Tribune,” says “IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU MAY HAVE WON A MILLION BUCKS!” Below that, in smaller print, it says “but probably not.”

And the bench has a little graffiti, a heart with “E + MC2” written inside it.

RIGHT HAND PANEL: Through the open door to the jail, we can see a poster on the wall, with a smiling cartoon bear wearing a guard’s cap and giving us a thumbs up. Above the bear, in large letters, it says “Protect Yourself From RSI.” In smaller letters below the bear, it says “always stretch before beating prisoners.”

One of the stones of the building’s wall is missing, and a man with a handlebar mustache is looking out nervously.

Another stone has a little barred window in it, and a mouse inside has its hands on the bars and looks out forlornly.

LEFT HAND PANEL: Woodstock from “Peanuts” is standing atop the building.

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Economics and the like, Interviews, Mandolin, My publications, Patreon, Writing Advice | 4 Comments

Cartoon: They Walk Among Us

Posted on November 22, 2024 by Ampersand

This cartoon was cartooned by Becky Hawkins.

One oddity about the internet age is that there are famous people with tremendous audiences who most of us haven’t even heard of.

Chaya Raichik, also know as Libs of Tik Tok, is like that. She has three and a half million followers on her Twitter account, and a bunch of followers on other social media accounts as well (I’m too lazy to look up how many followers those accounts have). And probably a bunch of folks reading this have no idea who she is (and if that’s you, I apologize for ruining it).

She really did take a photograph of a greeter at a chlidren’s museum and then tweet it to millions of followers for derision. That’s not notable at all, for her; she’s done dozens of similar posts.

Raichik’s job is to spread rage, and she’s good at it – so good that being targeted by her often leads to anonymous threats of violence. For example, at least 17 “Planet Fitness” gyms received bomb threats after Raichik criticized them for not banning trans women from locker rooms. HRC wrote:

This is not the first time Raichik has been associated with threats of violence. Raichik’s posts have repeatedly been linked to harassment and bomb threats against children’s hospitals, medical providers, schools, teachers, drag performances, and more.

Raichik is prominent, but she’s not alone – the right wing mediasphere is filled with people who have turned hatemongering into lucrative careers, who most sensible people have never heard of.

The humor of my cartoons is often based on showing people talking in real life the way people interact on the internet. So they often start like this cartoon, with a stranger shoving into someone else’s space to rant about politics.

But in a sense, Raichik (and other hatemongers with large followings) is the real-life embodiment of my cartoons. She doesn’t personally accost strangers at bus stops (to my knowledge), but she does target total strangers who have never interacted with her, and force them to deal with dozens or hundreds of her angry followers reaching out with hatred, with threats, with petitions to their employers demanding they be fired.

Becky writes:

I volunteered to draw this script when I saw it in Barry’s folder. I enjoy drawing likenesses and I hate disingenuous arguments (like Raichik insisting that she’s not directing hate-mobs at anyone, she’s merely reposting publicly-available selfies and personal information to her sizable following, and also claiming that people like them are brainwashing and endangering children). This cartoon was a way for me to vent.

There’s plenty of footage of Chaya Raichik available online. I sketched several stills from an interview and used that as the basis for my drawings in the cartoon. The character she’s speaking to isn’t based on any one person, but I did go to Facebook and look up peers who did the job/husband/kids thing for inspiration. I figured that character should look gender-normie enough that Raichik would assume she’s transphobic. I picked the mustard/berry color combo for her outfit because I like how it looks on other people. I would look like a pile of oatmeal in a mustard-colored top. I would wear those sandals, though.

I needed some positive energy this week, so the podcast of choice while I drew this was Strong Songs. In each episode, Kirk Hamilton, a Portland musician, dives deeply into one song that you’ve probably heard of even if you haven’t listened to it. He digs into the music, instrumentation, recording technology, performers… I highly recommend it!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, all of the same scene: Two women are waiting at a bus stop, talking. One woman, who I’ll call, oh, I dunno, I’ll just randomly say CHAYA, is wearing a modest purple dress and has long brown hair. The other woman, who I’ll call HAIRCLIP, is wearing a yellow front-button shirt and blue tights. And she has a hair clip. :-)

PANEL 1

Both women are seated on the bus stop bench. Chaya is holding her smartphone in front of Hairclip’s face; Hairclip is leaning away, taken by surprise.

CHAYA: Look at this! It’s a picture of a greeter at a children’s museum!

HAIRCLIP: Um… so?

PANEL 2

Chaya has stood and is pushing the smartphone at Hairclip, who has raised a hand to push the smartphone away. Chaya is yelling a bit.

CHAYA: Well, I think this person looks trans! Isn’t that awful? Doesn’t it make you feel panic and rage?

PANEL 3

Hairclip has stood and is chewing out Chaya, who sits back down.

HAIRCLIP: No, of course not! It’s just someone doing their job! What’s wrong with you?

PANEL 4

Hairclip stomps off angrily. Behind her, Chaya looks happy, even serene, as she looks at her smartphone screen.

HAIRCLIP (thought): Jerk! Good thing no one would listen to a clown like that.

A large arrow-shaped caption points at Chaya. The caption says “3.5 million followers.”

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an obsolete cartoonists’ term for amusing but unnecessary details the cartoonist puts into the cartoon.

In this cartoon, there’s an ad on the public bench they’re sitting on. No single panel shows the whole bench, but if you look at all of them you can determine that the ad says “#1 New York Times Bestseller I HAVE BEEN SILENCED!, with an image of the guy from this cartoon.

The bus stop sign has an image of a rocket ship instead of a bus.

In panel 4, a newspaper is lying on the ground. The newspaper is called “Background Post.” The headline says “TRAGIC!,” and the subhead says “Artist fails to leave enuf room for text, nation mourns.”

They Walk Among Us | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans and Queer issues, Transsexual and Transgender related issues | Leave a comment

Ohio Passes School and College Trans Bathroom Ban

Posted on November 14, 2024 by Ampersand

My alma mater Oberlin, and all schools and colleges in Ohio (private schools and colleges included) is going to be forced to ban trans students from using bathrooms aligned with their gender.

The Ohio legislature just passed House Bill 183, a ban on colleges allowing trans students to use bathrooms designated for their gender – that is, trans women can’t legally use women’s rooms, and trans men can’t legally use men’s rooms.

The Ohio legislature has successfully overturned vetos on anti-trans bills before, so it’s unlikely the governor can successfully veto this. (And he might not want to.)

Making the bill even more spiteful, it also bans multi-gender or “anyone can use” bathrooms.

The only loophole this leaves for Oberlin, as far as I can tell, is that building “family” bathrooms that aren’t multi-occupancy (which I think means, they can only have one toilet) is still permitted.

But even if Oberlin and other colleges build plentiful “family bathrooms” so trans students always have a nearby bathroom to use – and most colleges won’t do that, I suspect – it’s still an assault on trans people’s dignity, just like having segregated bathrooms was an assault on Black people’s dignity.

Posted in Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans and Queer issues | 15 Comments

Cartoon: A.I. is Coming and Will Change EVERYTHING!

Posted on November 11, 2024 by Ampersand

Another comic strip wonderfully rendered by Nadine Scholtes!

I mean, who knows? Maybe years from now, A.I. really will be all that. But for now, it feels like a bunch of very wealthy people have made a strategic decision to spend incomprehensible amounts of money pushing A.I. at us – at a considerable cost to the environment. Computer scientists Shaolei Ren and Adam Wierman wrote:

Even putting aside the environmental toll of chip manufacturing and supply chains, the training process for a single AI model, such as a large language model, can consume thousands of megawatt hours of electricity and emit hundreds of tons of carbon. This is roughly equivalent to the annual carbon emissions of hundreds of households in America. Furthermore, AI model training can lead to the evaporation of an astonishing amount of fresh water into the atmosphere for data center heat rejection, potentially exacerbating stress on our already limited freshwater resources.

All these environmental impacts are expected to escalate considerably, with the global AI energy demand projected to exponentially increase to at least 10 times the current level and exceed the annual electricity consumption of a small country like Belgium by 2026.

It would be one thing if A.I. was actually miraculously improving our lives. But although A.I. does have some genuine uses, most ordinary people’s encounters with A.I. are not just useless, but intrusive and sometimes actively harmful, in ways large, small, and stupid.

A.I. has created a great deal of work for teachers and professors trying to keep their students from having A.I. write their papers. The prestige science fiction magazine Clarkesworld had to stop accepting submissions because they were being flooded with terrible A.I.-generated stories.

I had to stop using Google to search, because Google insists on showing A.I. generated summaries above search results. But A.I. doesn’t reliably get even facts right, and the only way I have to tell if the information is accurate or not is… more searching. (I now use the Duck Duck Go.search engine, which is comparitively minimalistic and provides better results. )

(But apparently even Duck Duck Go occasionally offers A.I. summaries of search results, aaargh! I didn’t know that, I found that out searching as I was writing this Patreon post. Although, to be fair, they apparently come up infrequently and unobtrusively enough that I’ve never noticed, and that function can be shut off if you go to settings).

The annoyance I experienced with Google search’s intrusive A.I. is, obviously, an incredibly minor issue – but billions of people search with google (which has over 90% of the search market), and that adds up to a lot of minor annoyance. And a lot of energy usage. And virtually no one asked for this!

I’ve gotten distracted. The point of this cartoon – remember this cartoon? This is an essay about a cartoon – is that I just find the plethoric claims of A.I.’s hyperbolic pushers to make a funny contrast with the dull and annoying reality.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, each showing a difference scene.

PANEL 1

A large caption at the top of the panel says “PITCH.”

The image shows a woman speed-walking while walking her dog. In the background, a homeless man sits against a wall reading a newspaper. The woman is wearing headphones, and a speech balloon points to the headphones.

HEADPHONES: Artificial Intelligence is almost here – and it’s gonna rock your world!

PANEL 2

A woman sits at a table scattered with board game pieces and reads a manual. In the background, a TV is on, and a slick-looking blonde man wearing a suit and tie is grinning and lifting his arms high in excitement.

MAN ON TV: Get ready! Your personal A.I. will do everything for you! Tax returns! Therapy! Pet care! Foot massages!

PANEL 3

Inside someone’s apartment. There’s no human in sight, but there is a dog and a cat. On the sofa is an open laptop, and on the laptop’s screen a blonde pitchwoman is grinning. The dog sits watching the laptop, tail wagging.

PITCHWOMAN: With Artificial Intelligence, no one will ever be sad or lonely again! A.I. is life!

PANEL 4

A large caption at the top of this panel says “REALITY.”

A young guy sits with his feet up on the sofa and his cat beside him. He’s reading his smartphone. A caption shows us what’s on his smartphone.

SMARTPHONE: A.I. powered toenail clippers $179.00

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is cartoonist slang for unnecessary (but hopefully amusing) details slipped into the cartoon. (You can stop reading now if you’re not interested.)

PANEL 1

The homeless man also has a dog, a cute little dog with a big white mustache – probably a schnauzer? The dog has a weary expression as it watches the bigger dog walking past.

The big dog walking past looks kind of snooty, and is wearing sunglasses.

There’s graffiti on the wall behind the homeless man. The graffiti says, respectively: “Steve.” “Sondheim.” “Lovett + Todd 4ever.” “Nice is different than good.” and “Withers wither with her.” Those are all references to the musicals of Stephen Sondheim. There’s also “BG,” which stands for “background.”

The homeless man’s newspaper is called “Background Tribune.” The headline says “Capybara to Rule World.” The sub headline says “‘It’s time for the grown-ups to take charge’ says adorable rodent.”

PANEL 2

The thick book the woman is reading is entitled “The Overly Complex Board Game Directions (vol 3 of 12)”. Parts scattered on the table include tokens, chips, six-sided dice, a twenty-sided die, a rook (the chess piece), an hourglass timer, playing cards, and a Rubik’s cube.

On the TV, a chyron at the bottom of the screen says “Man loses sight from reading tiny print.”

PANEL 3

Apparently the pets have wrecked this apartment – the wallpaper is torn, the cat has done serious damage to the leg of the sofa, and there’s a urine puddle near the dog. The cat is sitting on the windowsill staring at a small bird on the other side of the window, who is sticking its tongue out at the cat and doing the thumbs-on-ears gesture that accompanies the tongue, as well as it can manage since it has wings.

PANEL 4

The cat is sitting like a human on its butt, back leaning against a cushion, with a bowl of food lying on its tummy. (I love this cat! 100% made up by Nadine.)

A magazine on the coffee table is entitled “Rich Pretty People.” The magazine shows a beautiful woman in a fancy gown with dollar bills falling down around her. The caption at the bottom of the cover says “They’re just like you but much better!”

The newspaper on the coffee table is entitled “End of Comic,” and the headline says “Goodbye!”

A.I. is COMING and will change EVERYTHING! | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics | 6 Comments

Well this sucks

Posted on November 6, 2024 by Ampersand

“Instructions on Living in a Broken World

lean into community
seek out love
applaud the good you see
keep paying attention
talk to your neighbors
dance to the music and embrace art
look for love and small joys
take breaks and relish in nourishing your body
donate what you can
linger at the dinner table with friends
check in with your people
let yourself grieve
love one another as deeply as you can

the storm is upon us and we must hold on

don’t give up, we’re here together.”

Credit: “still we rise”

Trump’s re-election is a disaster, but anyone who claims to understand with certainty exactly why this happened (and how it could have been avoided) is

1) far too confident, and

2) almost certainly pushing a narrative that affirms whatever their ideological preferences are.

I’m going to give it time before I come to any conclusions about why this happened. I want to read some analyses based on better data and more thought than anything available right now.

In the meanwhile, my best advice is to please take care of yourselves and those around you.

Posted in Elections and politics, In the news | 52 Comments

Cartoon: We Could Let In More Immigrants

Posted on October 29, 2024 by Ampersand

Immigration is great for the U.S.. It’s great for the economy. It’s great for our culture. Compared to those of us born here, immigrants are disproportionately of working age, disproportionately working, and disproportionately law-abiding. Immigrants are more likely to work in “essential” jobs. Immigrants are more likely to start new businesses than the native-born, creating more jobs than they take.

There’s probably no one policy which could do more to improve the U.S. economy than making it easier for people to immigrate.

And a huge number of Americans are convinced that immigration is a terrible thing. And they’re listening to their racist leaders.

In 2023 Donald Trump said immigrants are “poisoning the blood” of Americans, racist rhetoric that echoes Hiter’s writings. At the time, Trump’s apologists claimed that Trump was suggesting that immigrants are bringing drugs and disease to America – also racist myths – but that he wasn’t suggesting genetic inferiority.

But in 2024, Trump said about immigration and crime, ” it’s in their genes. And we got a lot of bad genes in our country right now.”

A survey found that 34% of Americans – and 61% of Republicans – agreed with Trump’s “poisoning the blood” remark.

All of this links into “The Great Replacement Theory,” a racist conspiracy theory which is becoming more widely believed by right-wing Americans.

The great replacement narrative provides the central framework for the global white supremacist movement. The racist conspiracy says there is a systematic, global effort to replace white, European people with nonwhite, foreign populations. The ultimate goal of those responsible — Democrats, leftists, “multiculturalists” and, at times, Jews — is to reduce white political power and, ultimately, to eradicate the white race. The theory has motivated multiple terror attacks, including the 2018 attack at the Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Tree of Life Synagogue, the 2019 attacks at two Christchurch, New Zealand, mosques and an El Paso, Texas, Walmart, and, most recently, an attack targeting Black people at a supermarket in Buffalo, New York.

As America’s demographics have shifted, the narrative of white replacement has become ingrained in the rhetoric of right-wing pundits and an increasingly extreme wing of the Republican Party. “This administration wants complete open borders. And you have to ask yourself, why?” U.S. Sen. Ron Johnson of Wisconsin asked during a Fox News segment in April. “Is it really [that] they want to remake the demographics of America to ensure that they stay in power forever?” His statement echoed others made recently by U.S. Rep. Matt Gaetz of Florida, U.S. Senate candidates J.D. Vance and Blake Masters, and, most consistently, Tucker Carlson.

And although conservatives are the worse, and the most overtly racist, anti-immigration sentiment is increasing across all American groups, including Democrats. From Vox:

Gallup notes in its most recent public opinion report that the desire to decrease immigration has jumped 15 percentage points among Republicans, 11 points among independents, and 10 points among Democrats — the group most supportive of immigration.

An Axios poll from April suggested 42 percent of Democrats would support mass deportations of undocumented immigrants.

Talk of “poisoning the blood” and mass deportations is dangerous, and if Trump wins the election I really fear what will happen to immigrants. Anti-immigration Americans seem quite willing to hurt anyone – including themselves – as long as their vitriolic hatred of immigrants can be fed.

Man, now I’ve bummed myself out. Reminder to self: Trump hasn’t won yet.

Speaking of the election, I’ve been donating via Oath, and I recommend it. It’s a site for targeting donations to close elections with underfunded candidates. And unlike ActBlue, they don’t share email addresses or phone numbers with the campaigns.

And while I’m making recommendations, let me say – ignore the polls. The race is neck and neck, at least according to polls, and it’s overwhelmingly likely to keep on polling that way. Watching polls is hard to resist, I think because it gives us an illusion of being in control and knowing what’s coming. But it doesn’t actually do either of those things. I think it just makes us more anxious and unhappy.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon shows two people talking as they walk through a hilly park with tall evergreens in the background. The first speaker is a woman wearing a yellow t-shirt, who has blonde hair held in a ponytail. The second speaker is a woman wearing a red hoodie who has black, spiky hair and glasses. I’ll call them PONYTAIL and SPIKEY.

Ponytail is walking in front, with Spikey following.

PANEL 1

Ponytail has a concerned expression. Spikey has a mellower expression, and is holding her hands behind her back (and does so for the entire comic strip).

PONYTAIL: I’m really worried about falling birthrates How will the economy grow with population declining?

SPIKEY: We could let in more immigrants.

PANEL 2

Ponytail holds out her open palms, in a gesture of concern.

PONYTAIL: Lots of businesses already can’t find enough workers, and that’s going to get worse!

SPIKEY: We could let in more immigrants.

PANEL 3

This panel shows a close-up of Ponytail, who is now in a panic, pressing her hands on the sides of her face. Spikey speaks from off panel.

PONYTAIL: Plus, America is an aging nation. We need young people to take care of us as we age!

SPIKEY: We could let in more immigrants.

PANEL 4

Ponytail now has her arms crossed, still walking, and for the first time has an angry expression. Behind her, Spikey looks pretty cheesed off, too.

PONYTAIL: And I don’t want the country to get any less white.

SPIKEY: We could let in more immi… Okay, I think I see the problem here.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an old, obscure, you might even say for all practical purposes dead, term for unimportant but hopefully amusing details cartoonists slip into comics.

PANEL 1: A flyer nailed to a tree says “WANTED” in large letters. There’s an image of me (the cartoonist) shrugging with “?” floating in the air next to my head, and at the bottom of the flyer it says “background gag ideas.”

There’s a patch of mushrooms growing out of the ground. The largest mushroom has a window, and leaning out the window is a rather glum looking person.

PANEL 2: An evil bunny is on the grass, smoking a cig.

A newspaper, “Background Daily,” lies on the ground. The headline says “Nation’s Headline Writers Refuse to Continue Wri”.

A teenage mutant ninja turtle – I believe this one is named Raphael – is taking a nap under a tree. Very oddly, for someone of my age who draws comics and is as nerdy as I am, this is the first time in my life I’ve drawn any of the teenage mutant ninja turtle characters.

PANEL 4

A realistic tortoise is crawling along the ground – except the tortoise has a TMNJ head, including the mask. A tiny sai is under one of its feet.

We Could Let In More Immigrants | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Immigration, Migrant Rights, etc, Racism | 14 Comments

Cartoon: Electoral College Confessions

Posted on October 5, 2024 by Ampersand

Let’s begin October with a little bit of meta!

I made a timelapse drawing video for this cartoon.

In 2019, Donald Trump tweeted about the idea of abolishing the electoral college:

….just the large States – the Cities would end up running the Country. Smaller States & the entire Midwest would end up losing all power – & we can’t let that happen. I used to like the idea of the Popular Vote, but now realize the Electoral College is far better for the U.S.A.

Although most people would say it with more coherent syntax, this is a vera popular argument in defense of the Electoral College: Without it, small states would lose all power.

Except the Electoral College really, really obviously doesn’t give small states power. It gives swing states power; the seven or so states that could go either way get an enormous amount of attention from Presidential candidates. But most small states aren’t swing states. Jamelle Bouie wrote:

Totaling the 2016 numbers, Sam Wang, a molecular biologist at Princeton who also runs a widely read election website, found that out of almost 400 campaign stops made after the conventions, neither Hillary Clinton nor Donald Trump made appearances in Arkansas, Oregon, Idaho, Wyoming, Montana, the Dakotas, Kansas, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Mississippi, New York, South Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky, West Virginia or Vermont. It doesn’t matter that Trump won millions of votes in New Jersey or that Hillary Clinton won millions in Texas. If your state is reliably red or blue, you are ignored.

The actual reason Republicans support the Electoral College is obvious: Democrats have won the popular vote in seven of the last eight presidential elections. That is the only real reason – and it’s one they’re loathe to say aloud.

A lot of political cartoon humor comes from exactly this – people saying things aloud that they’d never say in real life.

The drawing in this cartoon is nothing special – two people walking through a park while arguing is something I’ve drawn a lot. But I really had fun drawing it. Sometimes I draw and it feels like I’ve forgotten how to draw. Not this time; I just had fun drawing every element of this, and I barely had to redraw anything. And the final results look good to me.

Panel three is the simplest panel, but also the one I’m happiest with. That face just looks good to me.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus an additional tiny “kicker” panel under the bottom of the cartoon. All four panels feature two characters who are walking through a park and talking.

The first character is a woman with dark hair pulled back in a ponytail, wearing a red tank top and jeans. Let’s call her TANKTOP. The second character is a businessman-looking man, wearing round glasses and a blue suit. Let’s call him SUIT.

PANEL 1

Tanktop and Suit are walking though a hilly park. Tanktop looks a little angry and is lecturing Suit, who seems calmer. Suit is walking in front of Tanktop, so he’s facing away from her.

TANKTOP: Conservatives say we need the Electoral College so small states won’t be ignored – but since the ten smallest states aren’t swing states, the Electoral
College guarantees they get ignored!

SUIT: I’m so sick of this argument.

PANEL 2

A close up of Suit, who is looking very annoyed.

SUIT: IT’s true our arguments for the Electoral College make zero sense! And they’re anti-Democracy! Who cares? It doesn’t matter if we make sense!

PANEL 3

An even closer close-up of Suit, who finally turns back to look at Tanktop as he speaks. His expression is angry and intense.

SUIT: With the Electoral College, we can lose the vote and still win the presidency! We will never let voters decide, because then we’d have less power, and power is all we care about! How do you not know that?

PANEL 4

Suit has turned away from Tanktop again and the two continue walking. Both of them have returned to speaking in ordinary tones, although Tanktop still looks annoyed.

TANKTOP: I did know, but I’m shocked you’re saying it aloud.

SUIT: Well, don’t forget this is a cartoon.

TINY KICKER PANEL UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THE CARTOON

Suit is talking to Barry the Cartoonist.

SUIT: I will never, ever, ever turn against the Electoral College! Unless Texas turns blue.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an outdated cartoonists’ term for little details in a comic that don’t mean anything but are hopefully fun.

PANEL 1: Beaker from the Muppets is peeking out of a hole in a tree.

A sign in the background says “KEEP OFF THE GRASS (ink may smear).”

PANEL 2: A bird flying in the background has a cat head. (In the sense of its own head being feline, not in the sense that it’s carrying a decapitated cat’s head).

PANEL 4: An evil bunny smoking a cigarette is sticking its head out of a hole in the ground. In the foreground, a friendly looking pig wearing a fedora is glancing out towards the readers. On the path, a bored looking snail is on top of a tiny skateboard, and an ant is riding on top of the snail.

In panel one, Tanktop’s tattoo was a coffee mug with a smiley face on it. In this panel, the coffee mug has fallen on its side, spilling coffee, and the face on the mug is distressed.

Electoral College Confession! | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Conservative zaniness, right-wingers, etc., Elections and politics | 33 Comments

Cartoon: Why We Say “As A Jew”

Posted on October 3, 2024 by Ampersand

This comic was drawn by Becky Hawkins, who writes:

I wanted to draw this cartoon. I feel like whether and how much I’m seen as Jewish fluctuates depending on where I am and who I’m with, so the conversation about who’s a “real Jew” hits close to home.

I always think that “2 contemporary people arguing” will be quick to draw. Then it seems to take me forever to come up with character designs and poses. (Wouldn’t the pro-Israel character be pointing angrily as in panel 2 the whole time, even if that’s repetitive and boring? I mean, what else would she do with her hands? OH NO, WHAT DO I DO WITH MY HANDS?! It makes me feel like a bad actress.)

Designing the pro-Israel character felt easy. I just visualized “person I would have gone to Hebrew school with” and everything came together. But I needed to look around to find details for the pro-Palestinian student that felt right. I scrolled on Facebook til I saw an ad for a wilderness survival class where someone had those blunt bangs, and the haircut fell into place. I looked up the indie cartoonist Cathy G. Johnson because I remembered Cathy as a snappy dresser in the genre of clothing I had in mind. I didn’t copy any one outfit, but the author photos were helpful. Then I remembered my sister, a crunchy musician and piano technician in Ypsilanti, telling me about buying a shirt from a band she likes… So I texted her:

Me: What was the thing on the band shirt where you were like “IDK if I want to be the person with that band shirt”?

Sister: hahaha an animal skull

Me: Yaythaaanks

Sister: Possum to be specific I believe.

Bingo.

And Barry writes:

I think the term “AsAJew” was coined by Eli Lake in Commentary magazine.

I don’t have much to say about this cartoon, except to say: The string of insults used in panels two and three are all near-direct quotes that real people have said about “asajews.” I edited it for space and to put things in the second person, but all the parts that might be making you go “no one would really say that” – those bits are real.

For example, in response to the news that Kamala Harris’ campaign was recruiting a “Jewish engagement director,” one person tweeted:

Here’s to hope that all normal, non-conditional, non-“asaJew”, non-Soros/Kapo-affiliated Jews will treat this hire as anything what it will be: a cardboard #tokenizer/Kapo POS. It’s time.

(Just imagine a “sic” after any bit of that that seemed to be word salad).

There’s a really extraordinary level of hatred, in some non-representative members of the Jewish community, for Jews that don’t toe the pro-Israel-no-matter-what line. But it’s important to remember that – contrary to what they might think – they don’t represent all of us.

Oh, two more things about this cartoon: I like the way it’s structured, with the fourth panel taking place a few moments before panel one. I’ve done a LOT of these cartoons, but I don’t think I’ve done that before.

And I love that gliding squirrel! The squirrel was entirely Becky’s idea; my only contribution was saying “squirrel, cool!”

I’m sure many of us spent much of the last week searching for news about the destruction of Hurricane Helene. As of this writing, there are still entire towns that are lacking cell tower service, water, and roads, and it’s way too soon for anyone to assess the damage.

I hope that everyone reading this is in a safe place, and that whatever you’ve lost can be restored.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows the same two women having an argument on a grassy area of a college campus (we can see a definitely collegiate brick building in the background). Both of them look like college students.

The student on the left has wavy green hair and is wearing a dark tank top with ripped armholes and collar and a drawing of a possum skull on the front. She has a septum piercing and is wearing leather boots.

The student on the right has wavy brunette hair and is rather nattily dressed in a blue sweater vest over a pink front-button shirt, rectangular glasses, and heeled boots.

Let’s call these two GREENIE and GLASSES.

PANEL 1

Greenie talks to Glasses with an earnest expression; Glasses has turned away from Greenie with her arms crossed, and looks annoyed.

GREENIE: I am Jewish, and as a Jew, I think what Israel’s doing is horr-

GLASSES: “As a Jew.” Hah! You know why anti-Israel Jews always say they’re speaking “as a Jew”?

PANEL 2

Greenie spreads her arm in an “explainy” sort of way, but it cut off by Glasses, who turns to face her, with an angry expression and pointing a finger accusingly at Greenie.

GREENIE: Because-

GLASSES: You say it because you want to tokenize yourself! You use being Jewish as a way to slander your people.

PANEL 3

A shot from Greenie’s POV, showing Glasses leaning forward, a furious expression on her face, pointing straight at the viewer like Uncle Sam in the “wants you” poster.

GLASSES: You “AsAJew” types are cosplay Jews! You’re modern day kapos giving comfort to the enemy! You’re the Jew who turns in other Jews to the Nazis because you hope you’ll be spared! And that’s why you said “as a Jew!”

PANEL 4

A large caption at the top of the panel says “A MINUTE EARLIER.”

Greenie is looking annoyed, arms akimbo, as she listens to Glasses, who is declaiming with one pointer finger held high in the air.

GLASSES: You wouldn’t say that if you were Jewish!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

In panel one, on a tree in the background, a squirrel with a tiny blue backpack is crouched on a branch. In panel two, the squirrel has launched itself into the air, and the backpack has unfurled a blue parachute. In panel four – which takes place before panel one – we see the squirrel back in the tree, poking its head out of a hole.

There’s a newspaper lying on the ground near Glasses’ feet. The name of the newspaper is “Background Daily.” In panel one, the front page says “This repeats three times in this comic. No need to read the other ones!” In panel two, it says “seriously you can stop reading this.” And in panel four, it says “This headline takes place before panel one.”

Why We Say “As A Jew” | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, International issues, Palestine & Israel | 7 Comments

Cartoon: Objective Journalism is Coming! Objective Journalism is Coming!

Posted on October 2, 2024 by Ampersand

This cartoon was drawn by frequent collaborator Nadine Scholtes, who unlike most cartoonists (and by “most cartoonists” I mean “me”) is not afraid of drawing horses.

This week, I read a newspaper report about sex workers at massage parlors. The article was sympathetic to the sex workers, but aside from a couple of sentences didn’t quote them at all. Which is understandable, since they weren’t accessible or willing to talk extensively to a reporter. But the article also didn’t quote any ex-massage workers, or any advocates for sex workers.

In contrast, cops were quoted extensively.

Also this week, I read an article by anti-social-justice writer Freddie deBoer:

Those who are most intimately and personally connected to a given issue are often the very least well-equipped to engage effectively on that issue because they have too much baggage regarding that issue, are too close to the issue to think clearly about it.

DeBoer’s philosophy strongly implies that trans people are the “least well-equipped” to engage on trans issues, Black people the “least well equipped” on Black issues, and so on. But I doubt there will ever be a subject which Freddy deBoer, who is a straight cis white male, thinks straight white males are the “least well equipped” to think about.

I wrote this cartoon before I read either of those articles. Reporting like that, and attitudes like deBoer’s, are too common in modern journalism. Corporate spokespeople are quoted, but workers and union reps aren’t. Cops cracking down on homeless people are quoted, but homeless people are not. Israeli representatives are quoted, but Palestinians are not. Diet industry people are quoted, but fat people – and especially fat acceptance activists – are not. The list goes on and on.

I thought about how modern “objective” journalism would handle Paul Revere, and the strip pretty much wrote itself. (Well, it wrote itself, but after it was finished I had to spend a bunch of time editing it to fit in four tiny panels. Stupid lazy ideas not editing themselves.)

Once I thought of the horse grinning for the selfie, I knew I had to ask Nadine to draw this one, and fortunately she was available. Nadine added lots of great details that my script hadn’t asked for, like the guy in the window in panel one, or the church in the distance in panel one, or Garfield and Odie in panel two. Working with collaborators who add things is so much fun.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. All four panels show a Massachusetts street in 1775.

PANEL 1

This panel shows Paul Revere riding a galloping horse down a street, yelling “The British Are Coming!” (Revere yells this, not the horse).  He’s riding hard, and mice are scattering to avoid being run over.

REVERE: The British are coming!

PANEL 2

Revere, sweating from his hard ride, has dismounted and come to a halt, and is talking to a JOURNALIST. The journalist is dressed in a period suit and leaning against the side of a building, but he also has a piece of paper saying “press” sticking out of his hat. He’s looking at his smart phone.

REVERE: A journalist? Perfect! The British army is coming by way of the Charles River!

JOURNALIST: I can’t report that. You’re a revolutionary. What you say isn’t objective.

PANEL 3

The journalist has put his arm around Revere’s shoulders and is grinning as he holds out his phone to take a selfie. Revere looks very annoyed, arms crossed, face facing the camera but eyes glaring at the journalist.

REVERE: But what I’m saying is TRUTH! The British are attacking!

JOURNALIST: You’re in the group they’re attacking. That makes you too biased to quote.

PANEL 4

Revere raises his hands in a frustrated gesture. The journalist, smiling, points at Revere.

REVERE: No one even knows about this but us and them! Will you not report this at all?

JOURNALIST: No, I’ll report whatever the British say. People in power are never biased.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is a ye olden days cartoonists’ expression for little details in a cartoon that don’t matter but might be amusing.

PANEL 1: A man in a nightshirt is leaning out of a background window waving to Revere.

There are mice scattering from the road to avoid being trampled. The mice are Izzy (from The Simpsons), the Brain (from Animaniacs, Minnie Mouse, and Jerry (from Tom and Jerry).

PANEL 2: The journalist is scrolling on a smart phone.

Garfield and Odie, from the Garfield comic strip, are in the background – Garfield is sitting on a fence reading a newspaper (Ye Olden Times Background Times”) and Odie is peeking out through a window.

The back page of the newspaper has a huge headline saying “Ben Franklin and Beyonce Sex Scandal,” and smaller text (so distorted by the angle that it’s basically impossible to read) says: “Even ignoring chronology problems, she is just way out of his league,” says puzzled historian.”

The front page of the newspaper has three stories. The first headline says “Hamilton Not Yet Famous,” and the story says: “Just you wait until Broadway exists,” says unknown nerd. The second headline says “New Tea Party In N Jersey,” and the story says “nobody notices or cares.” The third headline says “Political Cartoons Relevant & Popular,” and the story says: “And that’s something that will never change,” say confident cartoonists.

PANEL 3

The journalist is taking a selfie, and the horse, grinning, is positioning herself to be included in the selfie.

PANEL 4

The horse is holding the journalist’s hat in her mouth.

In the background, two sleek cats can be seen in a window; one of them is licking the window with apparent enjoyment.

Objective Journalism Is Coming! Objective Journalism is Coming! | Patreon

Posted in Cartooning & comics, Media criticism | 3 Comments